Days of Blackadder's Life (Read 3,598 times)

[gapeach]

Can't wait to see how he gets out of this!

[sportsgirl]

Me too!

[André DiMera]

And now, to compensate for Wednesday's lack of chapter, here is a special weekend edition of "Days of Blackadder's Life", complete with a picture of Lord Flashheart:


Please be warned, the following chapter contains some suggestive dialogue. Read at your own risk.

Chapter 15

There was a loud crash and through the door burst a very handsome, James Bond type man. This is Lord Flashheart.
FLASHHEART: It's me! Flash by name, Flash by nature!
ALL: Hooray!
BLACKADDER: Flash, where have you been? I've been looking all over.
FLASHHEART: Where haven't I been? Well, obviously not here with you. I was out saving a thousand people's lives all at once. The girls were all very grateful. Woof!
QUEEN: I take it, Lord Blackadder, that this is your friend Lord Flashheart?
FLASHHEART: Friend? I didn't know we were friends, Blacky. Then again, with all thousand girls to save, must've slipped my mind.
BLACKADDER: Yes, quite.
FLASHHEART: No, but of course, I jest. Old slackbladder and I have been friends since university. He went into the study of being a git. And I went into babe-ology.
BLACKADDER: Yes, that's quite enough, Flash.
FLASHHEART: So, for what reason was I called here? Couldn't stand not to be in my presence for a second longer?
QUEEN: We were hoping, Lord Flashheart, that you'd be able to clear up some rumors for us.
FLASHHEART: Well, I'll do my best. And all the rumors you've heard about me are completely and totally true. I am the most devilishly handsome man in the kingdom.
QUEEN: Very well. We have heard rumors of a child between myself and Lord Blackadder. Seeing as you are Lord Blackadder's best and closest friend, would you be able to confirm or deny these rumors?
FLASHHEART: What? A kid between you and Blacky? That's impossible!

[fluffysmom]

Flash is a fun character. He didn't help Blackadder at all.

Thanks for the weekend chapter.

[André DiMera]

Chapter 16

BUCKINGHAM PALACE
FLASHHEART: A kid between you and Blacky? That's impossible! No one would ever stoop that low, especially not Your Majesty.
BLACKADDER: What?
QUEEN: And you have this on good authority, then? There is no way that Lord Blackadder and I could have a child?
FLASHHEART: You're not blind, are you?
QUEEN: No.
FLASHHEART: Then, most definitely not! You and slackbladder having a kid would be like me having a kid with that awful wife of Charlie's. And before you ask, I'm talking about the second one. I would have had a kid with the first one in a heartbeat. Woof!
QUEEN: Well, thank you very much for clearing that up, Lord Flashheart.
FLASHHEART: No problem. Anything for Your Majesty. But, I've gotta go. All thousand of those girls I saved are still thanking me. But, next time you wanna be in my presence, just call. Now, let's dooooo it!
Flashheart threw something on the ground. There was a loud bang and, in a flash, he was gone.*
QUEEN: Now, Edmund, we have proof of forgery, attempt at impersonating a member of the royal family, and attempt at usurping the throne. All crimes committed by you. Have you anything to say?
BLACKADDER: Only that I did what I did for the sake of Britain and her people.
QUEEN: Well, pack your bags, Blackadder. By the end of the week, we want you and your two pets gone.
BLACKADDER: Yes, Majesty.
Blackadder bows.
BLACKADDER: Goodbye, Melchett.
MELCHETT: Blackadder. May the good Lord guide you whereever you go. Baa!
BLACKADDER: Darling.
Darling's eye twitched.
DARLING: Blackadder.
BLACKADDER: Get stuffed.
Blackadder bowed once more.
BLACKADDER: Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Blackadder turned and walked away.
QUEEN: Well, that was unfortunate business. He was a good servant. Now, for you two. Stefano and Elvis, we will arrange a flight home for you. And we are very sorry that you got caught up in this mess.
E.J.: Thank you, Your Majesty.
Stefano and E.J. bowed.

Tune in tomorrow for the finale.

*Sorry for the bad pun.

[sportsgirl]

I loved how Flashheart kept saying Blackadder's name differently each time...

[fluffysmom]

Glad everything is straightened out. Wonder if Blackadder will try to cause any trouble before he leaves.

[André DiMera]

Chapter 17

JET
Stefano and E.J. were sitting in a very expensive looking jet. Both had wine glasses in their hands
E.J.: It was awfully nice of the Queen to let us borrow one of her private jets.
STEFANO: Indeed. And now I have you back. And I doubt we'll have anymore trouble from Edmund Blackadder.
E.J.: Let's hope not.
STEFANO: The only thing we'll have to deal with when we get home is Susan.
E.J.: Mother's still there?
STEFANO: Yes, I told her she could stay until I found you.
E.J.: Well, that's nice.
STEFANO: Well, saluté.
E.J.: Saluté.
Stefano and E.J. drank from their glasses.

One of the things about "Blackadder", the television series, is that the theme always changes words but has the same tune. For the tune, follow this link. The words that I made for this story are below.
Blackadder wanted to be king, and used a DiMera to do it
But bringing this before the queen, you could say that he royally blew it
Blackadder, Blackadder
He thought his plan was good
Blackadder, Blackadder
Get going now, he should
Blackadder, Blackadder
He dreamed a royal dream
Blackadder, Blackadder
It got him not a thing

BUCKINGHAM PALACE
Blackadder, with suitcase in hand, was walking down a corridor. Then, from around the corner, Chad popped out.
CHAD: Excuse me, where am I?
BLACKADDER: You're in Buckingham Palace.
CHAD: Oh. I'm Chad DiMera.
BLACKADDER: Edmund Blackadder. Goodbye.
Blackadder went to walk away, but turned around to look at Chad.
BLACKADDER: Have you ever wanted to be royalty, Chad?

THE END

Tune in to "Forgive Me, Father" starting tomorrow.

[sportsgirl]

I just knew Blackadder wasn't done... Cute story Andre! Looking forward to your next one!

[fluffysmom]

I didn't think Blackadder would leave so easily. I like the DiMeras interacting with the Queen. Fun story André DiMera.

[MrsM]

That was neat Andre!! Great job!!