Days of Blackadder's Life (Read 3,600 times)

[André DiMera]

Chapter 4

CAR
Stefano sat in his limo, reflecting on old times.

DIMERA MANSION - FLASHBACK
Stefano and Blackadder stand in the doorway of the mansion. This is from several years ago.
BLACKADDER: So, we have a deal?
STEFANO: For the time being, yes. But, if Zi ever catch you in Salem without my foreknowledge again, I'll kill you.
BLACKADDER: Suits me, Steffy.
STEFANO: Now, get out of my site.

CAR
STEFANO: He should never have come back.

DIMERA MANSION
E.J.: Mother, as...lovely as that sounds, I'm afraid I have to decline the offer to come back with you.
SUSAN: And why is that?
E.J.: I have a business to run.
SUSAN: Well, if that's the only problem, there is no problem. I mean, surely you can run this business from England.
E.J.: Don't call me Shirley. And, I'm sorry, but I can't. I must run it from Salem.
SUSAN: Oh, I knew it! I just knew that that evil father o' yers was gonna get his claws into you! I shoulda come sooner.
E.J.: No, no, mother. He doesn't have his claws in me.
SUSAN: Then how come yer stayin' at his big ol' fancy mansion and runnin' his business?
E.J.: Technically, by birth, I have ownership of this mansion. Or, I will once father kicks the proverbial bucket.
SUSAN: You mean, that's why yer stayin' here?
There was a knock at the door. Rolf opened it to reveal Blackadder.
BLACKADDER: Good afternoon.
ROLF: Can I help you?
BLACKADDER: No, but the English chap with greasy hair and and a suit can. My name is Edmund Blackadder. I'm here to speak to a Mr. Elvis DiMera.

[sportsgirl]

So Blackadder is Edmund! I wonder if he knows that Susan is there also.

[fluffysmom]

Very interesting.

[André DiMera]

Oct 17, 2013 12:29:36 GMT -5 sportsgirl said:

So Blackadder is Edmund! I wonder if he knows that Susan is there also.

Actually, this is a completely different Edmund. This story is a crossover with the British historical comedy Blackadder. Here are the character descriptions:
Edmund Blackadder (played by Rowan Atkinson) is a slimy, double-crossing weasel of a man who will do anything he has to to make it to the top of the proverbial ladder of success. He is a servant to Queen Elizabeth.
S. Baldrick (played by Tony Robinson) is Blackadder's slightly dim-witted assistant who smells of dung.
Sir George Colthurst St Barleigh (played by Hugh Laurie) is Blackadder's other dimwitted assistant. George is very patriotic and will do anything for his queen and country.

And now for the Blackadder cast you've yet to see:
Queen Elizabeth II (played by Jeannette Charles) is the current reigning queen of England who is just unlucky enough to be surrounded by these people.
Rev. Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett (played by Stephen Fry) is the Queen's spiritual advisor. He has a tendency to "baa!" at random moments, a trait he inherited from his grandfather, who served in World War I.
Br. Kevin Darling (played by Tim McInnerny) is a novice training under Melchett to become a monk. His last name causes quite a bit of embarrassment. He has an eye tick which only shows up when someone uses his last name as an insult.
Lord Flashheart (played by Rik Mayall) is an old friend of Blackadder. He is very successful with the ladies, and isn't shy in saying so.

Pics of these characters shall come as they appear within the story. The first pictures shall be shown this weekend.

[André DiMera]

Chapter 5

DIMERA MANSION
Rolf showed Blackadder to the room where E.J. and Susan were.
ROLF: A Mr. Blackadder is here to see you, sir,
BLACKADDER: Good evening. My name is Edmund Blackadder.
SUSAN: Edmund? Oh, that reminds me. I fergot to tell Edmund that I was going on this little trip. I better call him in case he tries to call home and I'm not there.
Susan goes into another room.
BLACKADDER: Yes. Quite. As I was saying, my name is Edmund Blackadder. I'm assuming that you are indeed Elvis DiMera?
E.J.: Yes, I am. But, please, Call me E.J.
BLACKADDER: Very well. I've been sent by Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England to return you to your homeland.
E.J.: What?
BLACKADDER: I said, "Very well. I've been sent by Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England to return you to your homeland".
E.J.: Yes, I heard you. What I mean is...what? It doesn't make any sense. Why would Her Majesty want to see me? Don't get me wrong, it would be an honor to be in her presence. But, why me?
BLACKADDER: I'll explain on the way. Come.
E.J.: Well, I'll need to get packing first.
BLACKADDER: No need. We have clothing at the palace. You're about the same size as Harry.
E.J.: I see. Well, can I at least wait for my mother to finish her phone call before we go?
BLACKADDER: Your mother isn't finishing a phone call.
E.J.: What?
BLACKADDER: Come here.
E.J. moves towards Blackadder.
BLACKADDER: Closer.
E.J. and Blackadder are now standing face to face. Blackadder reaches behind himself and pulls out a large wooden pole, with which he knocks E.J. unconscious by hitting him over the head. Blackadder points to Rolf.
BLACKADDER: You...um, servant.
ROLF: Yes?
BLACKADDER: Help me get him in the car. And never speak of this incident to anyone.
ROLF: Yes, sir.

[sportsgirl]

Thanks for the correction Andre. I wonder what they want with EJ.

[fluffysmom]

Thanks for the background info Andre.

I wonder if the Queen even knows what they are up to. Probably not. This is intriguing.

[gapeach]

Can't wait to see what happens next!

[André DiMera]

And now, it's picture time! Here are the first pictures of what the Blackadder characters look like.

Edmund Blackadder:


S. Baldrick:


Sir George Colthurst St Barleigh:


Images of other Blackadder characters will be added as they appear in the story.

[fluffysmom]

Thanks for adding the pictures Andre.

[André DiMera]

Chapter 6

BUCKINGHAM PALACE
In the glorious throne room in the royal Buckingham Palace in England, Queen Elizabeth II sits on her throne. Her Lord Chaimberlin and spiritual advisor, Rev. Melchett, is standing by her side.
QUEEN: Melchett?
MELCHETT: Yes, m' lady?
QUEEN: Have you seen Edmund anywhere?
MELCHETT: No, m' lady, I haven't. Not since last week when I saw him trying to break into the communion wine cellar.
QUEEN: No, nor have we seen him. Do you know if Darling or any of the rest of your group have seen him?
MELCHETT: Well, I can always check, m' lady. (yelling) Darling!
Darling runs into the room. He is very out of breath but tries to speak, anyway.
MELCHETT: Spit it out, man!
DARLING: Yes...my lord. What is it that you need, my lord?
MELCHETT: Now then, Darling...
Darling's left eye twitched.
MELCHETT: ...have you seen Blackadder anywhere around here?
DARLING: Not since last week during that incident in the cellar.
MELCHETT: Do you know if any of the other brothers have seen him?
DARLING: No, my lord. Not that I am aware of.
QUEEN: Well, this is most strange. Blackadder hasn't been seen since last week. We did not give him the week off, and he did not request the week off. What shall we do with him?
DARLING: If you're open to suggestions, majesty, I suggest that we have Blackadder court martialed with a firing squad on standby.
QUEEN: No, Darling, we shall not execute him just for taking the week off.
MELCHETT: If we were to do that, Darling, we would have execute Charlie years ago.
Suddenly, the doors flew open and Blackadder walked into the palace.
BLACKADDER: Your majesty, I have returned from my very important, and unexpected, so last minute I couldn't even stop by to tell you I was going, week off.
QUEEN: Indeed, Edmund. Now, where have you been?
BLACKADDER: I have been making a discovery, your majesty. One which affects all of us. Also, one which requires your urgent attention.

[MrsM]

Hmmmmmm

[sportsgirl]

What she said....^

[fluffysmom]

Wonder if he will tell her the truth about what he has been up to. Probably not.

[André DiMera]

Chapter 7

DIMERA MANSION
Susan was wandering the halls, looking for E.J. When she saw Rolf, she pointed at him.
SUSAN: You! You servant of that devil in a suit! What have you and Stefano done with my baby Elvis?

BUCKINGHAM PALACE
QUEEN: And what is this discovery you have made, Edmund?
BLACKADDER: Well, I was rather hoping to reveal that when he gets here.
QUEEN: He?
BLACKADDER: Yes, Majesty. He.
Baldrick entered with E.J.
BALDRICK: Mr. B, I have that man you wanted.
BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick. You may go now.
Baldrick left the room.
E.J. (whispering): What the bloody hell did you do to me?
BLACKADDER (whispering): Just shut up, smile, and say hello.
E.J. looks at the Queen. He gets down on one knee.
E.J.: Your Majesty.
QUEEN: Edmund, who is this man?
BLACKADDER: This man, Your Majesty, goes by the name of Elvis Aron "John" DiMera, Jr. However, that is not his real name. His real name hasn't been said for so long that I doubt anybody could remember it.
E.J.: What?
BLACKADDER: Your Majesty, this man is your son.
E.J.: What?
QUEEN: We beg your pardon?
BLACKADDER: Or, rather, our son.