Undertow 1 (Phelanie/Phloe) - (complete) (Read 17,592 times)

[gapeach]

Mar 28, 2012 7:30:37 GMT -5 MrsM said:

That's all I can say

What she said!! Love the start of Chapter 7 and am so glad that Melanie is forcing Victor's hand on letting Chloe see Parker before she leaves. I do believe that Melanie is growing up before our eyes through Slyn's words.

[mae00]

OMG Slyn!!! I just got caught up on this story and you are a FANTASTIC writer!! I've read this entire thing over a 2 day period and don't want to stop! do you know how hard it is to work when the story is this good?!?!?!

Can't wait for the next update!
Keep up the awesome work!

[slyn11]

Mar 29, 2012 14:02:55 GMT -5 mae00 said:

OMG Slyn!!! I just got caught up on this story and you are a FANTASTIC writer!! I've read this entire thing over a 2 day period and don't want to stop! do you know how hard it is to work when the story is this good?!?!?!

Can't wait for the next update!
Keep up the awesome work!

Thank you so much! I am so touched. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.

[slyn11]

A/N: Chapter 7 part 2 - one more part after this and we will have arrived.

Thanks to all the readers and comments. I appreciate you all.

As always please excuse any and all errors.

Should we do a discussion post on chapter 7? Up to you guys. I am willing if you are.

=================
Chapter 7 part 2

Daniel had come in late last night harassing her about a cot. She had compromised, agreeing to accept a pillow and a blanket so she could sleep at the opposite end of the bed. It had been a long night, most of which, Melanie had spent just watching Philip breathe. Such a simple act had come to mean so much in the past months. Every breath that Philip took was precious now. Stretched out beside him, her body pressed against his side, gently stroking his hair, as the first rays of sunlight filtered into the room. She wondered how their lives got so twisted. It seemed like just yesterday that being with him was her one true source of happiness, now all she wanted to do was cry whenever she looked at his face. His beautiful, unchanging face, her sweet Philip stuck in his perpetual slumber, trapped behind a mask of blankness Was he even still in there? Or had his essence already floated up to heaven?

She looked over at Parker, still sleeping silently on his back in the crib. In the early hours of the morning, she had called an aide to have Parker brought to her. They rolled his little crib into the room, so he could sleep near them. She had an overwhelming need to have him close. Also she wanted them both together, father and son, maybe Philip would sense Parker’s presence and respond in some way. He had before.

An apprehension had been building within her ever since she had watched Philip almost die last night. Everything seemed more tenuous now, like if she didn’t watch things closely, it all would change, for the worse. Sleep had been impossible for Melanie being in the room with her two Kiriakis men. She flitted between worrying about Philip and checking on Parker. Victor was right, they were a handful. Melanie hoped she would have years of their combined mischief to look forward to, father and son with a tight bond forged with love and laughter, now she just wanted them to have another minute together, another hour. The future seemed less far off now, while Philip’s life was hanging by a thread. Tomorrow was for other people, the lucky ones that had hope to rely on. All Melanie had left was the painful task of waiting for a final moment to arrive. Only a miracle could save them now.

She thought about the first day she had ever seen Philip, gorgeous in his suit, charming some business men. She had mistaken him for his father, being new in town, not knowing all the players, but she knew just at first glance that he was something good. Her life never was the same after that. Melanie had always kept men at a careful distance, partly out of fear, partly because a good con never got too close. Philip had been different, she had wanted to get closer to him after their very first conversation, something about him pulled her toward him. She shared parts of herself with him, things she had never revealed to anyone before, so easily. It was like she knew him already. He felt comfortable, which in turn made him seem safe. But Philip was never safe, he had managed to hurt her in ways far worse than any of the men in her past ever had.

Getting close and opening herself up to him, left her vulnerable to his attack, to his ability to cut her to her core each time he turned away from her in disgust or anger or indifference. It killed her that he didn't want her. And when he finally came around, saw the light, Melanie thought it would be nothing but smooth sailing after that. She was so wrong. Loving Philip Kiriakis, being a part of his life was more dangerous than any other situation she had ever encountered, because she had given him her heart. And once someone had that, they had you. Philip had her now, heart, body and soul. She looked down at him lying quietly still in the bed. He was performing his last act of treachery, he was going to take her heart with him to his grave. Melanie didn't know what would be left of her after he had gone. She could only imagine a sad shell of her former self, a piece of her absent and detached from the world. She didn't think she would ever recover from this.

Maybe she should have been angry with him for putting her through all of this pain. But she wasn't. How could she be? Every time he smiled at her, her heart raced, he had made her feel so alive for the first time. He had made her finally be able to share herself, to see sex as more than a curse to be endured. He had made her feel important, special, like she mattered. He had loved her completely and she knew it as surely as she knew anything. He had been hers for a time, painfully, beautifully, amazingly hers.

She wanted to kiss him, like the first time, when she thought she was playing him but really he had been playing her, because when his lips met hers she felt it, to her toes, and it threw her. In a way it had been her first kiss, of course not really, she had kissed more men than she ever cared to remember, but with Philip it had been the first kiss that made her want more, to do it again. He had given her lots of firsts. She had been the girl that had done everything, seen everything, been all over, but Philip had been the one that made her life feel brand new. Hope for better was in that kiss. It didn't matter that it was just a game at first, or that he loved another girl, she had something to hold onto now because of him. She had a reason to want beyond just finding her next mark or next payout. He made her want more, made her want to be more, for the first time. All for the possibility of his love.

She had to work for it, wait for it, fight for it, but in the end he was there too. Nothing had ever come easily for Melanie, so she didn't expect landing Philip would be any different. And he didn't cut her any breaks, he was dragged kicking and screaming into her arms. But once he landed there, and settled, they both knew. It was all worth it.

Melanie got up, stretching her arms above her head, trying to ease the tightness in her back. Taking one last look at Parker in the crib, then back at Philip, she grabbed her phone from the table by the bed, before stepping out of the room into the brightly lit waiting area of the hospital. The hospital was already bustling with activity. Aides getting ready to serve patient breakfasts, nurses preparing morning meds, Melanie felt a slight pang of guilt as she watched from the sidelines. She should be among them helping. Her job at the hospital had definitely suffered since Philip became ill, he was her main focus. The staff knew that and accepted it, but it still didn’t make Melanie feel any better about her lack of time for other patients. One day she would repay them all for their patience and understanding.

Daniel Jonas came strolling around the corner wearing scrubs on top and jeans, a smile spreading on his face as he saw Melanie standing there. He made his way over to her, immediately pulling her into a hug when he was in arm’s reach. Melanie didn’t realize how much she had needed that hug until she felt his arms around her. For a moment she put all of her weight on him, letting her father hold her up for a while. Daniel took Melanie by the hand and led her to a nearby chair sitting her down, and then took the seat beside her.

“Dad what are you doing here so early?”

“I never left,” said Daniel patting Melanie’s knee. “Wanted to be close, just in case.”

“Just in case Philip…” Melanie instinctively looked toward Philip’s door replaying the horrors of the previous night in her head.

“Nope, just in case you needed me. How’s he doing?”

“The same. Still breathing.” She struggled to smile, but couldn’t quite do it.

“Melanie, I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this.” Daniel hugged her again, rubbing her back in comfort.

“I’m not really going through anything.” She shrugged pulling away. “Philip’s the one clinging to life.”

“Don’t minimize your pain. It’s happening to you too.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sometimes I look at you in awe,” he said resting his elbow on the arm rest between them, chin in his palm, just looking at her. “I can’t believe you’re my daughter. You’re nothing like me.”

Melanie’s stomach dropped, his words hitting her hard. “All those years with Trent messed me up pretty bad, ruined me.”

He sat up in surprise. “Ruined? There’s nothing wrong with you. I meant you’re nothing like me because you’re so strong, and brave. You’re loyal and dependable.”

“Me?” She couldn’t believe he thought those things about her. She was such a complete mess.

“Yes you. I’m years older than you and I’ll never be half as good a person as you. I have watched you here with Philip for months, facing obstacle after obstacle, head on, without complaint, just with love. Melanie you’re honoring your vows in the best way.”

She looked down smiling softly. “That’s just what marriage is about, for better or worse.”

“I know you see it as such a little thing. The way you are handling things here, you make me so proud, and you inspire me. You stick things out, see them through. I cut and run,” he admitted.

“Dad that’s not true. You’re here for your patients, here for me.”

“But I couldn’t be here for Chloe.” Daniel squirmed in his seat, looking over at the nurses’ station.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Melanie placed her hand on his arm to get him to look at her. “She hurt you.”

“Philip hurt you too and yet you’re still here by his side.”

“It’s different,” she said shaking her head.

“A while back you asked me if I would feel differently if Chloe had been the one injured. Would I have stood by her?” He sat back in his chair. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.”

“What did you come up with?”

“I don’t think I could do it. I think I still would’ve walked away.”

Melanie’s blue eyes widened in surprise. “No, I don’t believe that. When someone you love is hurt, everything changes. It gives you perspective, makes you take stock in what’s real.”

“That only works if what you have is real in the first place.” She could hear the pain in his voice. There were tears glistening in his eyes. It was evident this was hard for him to discuss.

“What are you talking about? You and Chloe were living together, engaged, you fought so hard to be together.”

“We did, we fought hard for our love. Kate, in some ways Lucas too, but when a true test came, we fell apart. What does that say about us? About me?”

“Maybe in time you can find your way back,” she assured him.

“You know I was married before a long time ago.”

“Your wife that passed away?” she asked cautiously not wanting to upset him more than he already seemed to be.

Daniel nodded. “Rebecca. She was this light in my life. She smiled at me and it was like I understood the meaning of the universe.” His face brightened into a smile for a moment then it quickly faded as he continued. “When she got sick everything changed for me. I shut down, I wouldn’t allow myself to feel. I ran away from it all, floating from place to place, never willing to stay put long enough to make ties. It’s the ties that kill you.”

“You have ties now. Didn’t Chloe help you want to feel again?”

“I thought so. She seemed like the answer I had always been searching for since Rebecca.”

“Like Philip is for me.” Melanie smiled slowly thinking of all the ways her life had changed since meeting Philip.

“I never liked that you married him, you know. Even before I found out you were my child,” he stated glancing over at her.

“I could tell,” she acknowledged with a nod. “You were sort of openly team Nathan.”

“I just didn’t think Philip was the right man. Not saying he’s a bad person. He’s not. Philip and I have had our difficulties over the years, but he has some qualities I really admire. He is tenacious, smart, brave.”

“But…”

“He would’ve made a good surfer.” He smiled slightly leaning his elbow back on the armrest.

“Kind of hard living in the Midwest.” She let out a quiet chuckle.

“I just mean he has the right temperament. Unlike me,” he added softly.

“You love surfing.”

“I do,” he affirmed nodding his head. “But I’m not a great surfer. To truly master the waves you have to be willing to face down even the largest wave without fear. I don’t do that. I wait for the ones I know I can handle.”

“I don’t get it.” She shook her head in confusion. “You do all sort of risky things in surgery.”

“In the operating room is the only place I am willing to take risks. The rest of my life, I’m cautious and guarded. Philip is not like that.”

“Philip has had times he was pretty emotionally guarded too.”

“Perhaps but when Philip truly wants something he goes after it full throttle. No fear, relentless pursuit, the way a great surfer attacks a killer wave. It’s an awesome thing to watch. The problem is when you live your life that way. You tend to crash and burn and take others down with you. I didn’t want to see you going down with him.”

Melanie leaned back and sighed, as she stared up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. “I’ve come to realize love and pain go hand in hand. You can’t really love someone without risking being hurt.”

“I agree. That’s why I kept running. It wasn’t worth the risk.”

“Sometimes you can fight back against the pain, come out on the other side, get back to the love. Philip and I had to do that after he found out about Nathan. I had to do it again after the accident so I could forgive him. It wasn’t easy, but I think it’s worth it. I’d much rather look at him in love than in hate and anger. Though it’s hard fighting for something all on my own. I don’t even know if he would feel the same way about things now.” She stared down at her wedding rings, fingering them lightly.

Daniel sucked in his lower lip, pausing as if he were thinking up what he would say next. “After it came out, what happened with Philip and Chloe, Philip came to see me. To apologize, explain, or something. I was furious. I didn’t want to listen. I pushed him out the door, before I lost control and hit him.”

The corners of Melanie’s mouth dropped. “You never told me about this.”

“I didn’t want you to know.”

“Why?” she asked looking at him in disbelief. She had never known her father to keep things from her.

“I didn’t want you to give him an inch. I didn’t want you to take him back.”

“And you think knowing he apologized to you would make me do that? I was so angry back then, I doubt it would’ve changed much.”

“It wasn’t the apology. It was what he said outside the door. I had slammed the door in his face and he continued to talk on the other side. He told me how much he loved you, how you had changed his life. How he knew that you guys could work through it.”

“That sounds like him during that time. He said the same to me.”

“He said he regretted the pain he caused. That he wished he had stopped and thought things through. I was starting to zone him out by that point. You know same old song. I remember yelling at him to shut the hell up or I would call the police, but he kept going. He said he knew he wasn’t good enough for you, but that you loved him anyway. And that he knew you might never take him back, and he’d have to live with that, but just being with you for even a short time had been worth it. Everything made sense when he was with you. Then he finally said, he may have to let you go, but he knew he’d never lose you, because you were connected and a part of each other. So after that I pushed you into divorcing him. I encouraged you to move on.”

“Because of what he said? I don’t understand.” She felt confused, like she was completely missing the point of what he was trying to say.

“Love like that doesn’t die. And I knew the more you were around him the greater the chance you would forgive him. I didn’t want you sucked back in.”

“How could you know if I felt the same, if I shared his feelings about our relationship?”

She was on the brink of tears and she didn’t know why. It felt like she had missed something important. So many thoughts raced through her mind. Maybe if her father had told her what Philip said she would have forgiven him and he wouldn’t have gotten drunk that night and then none of this would’ve happened. She felt herself becoming bitter and angry thinking about what might have been. Then the feeling passed as quickly as it came. They couldn’t go back and change things, and there was no point trying to decipher what her actions would have been almost a year ago. Life had changed, she had changed.

“Sweetheart, we may not have known each other that long, especially not as father and daughter, but even I could see it.”

“See what?” she asked tentatively holding her breath as she awaited his response.

“The light. The light you got in your eyes whenever you talked about him, looked at him. Now Philip could have just been spewing lines through my door that day, trying to make it sound good. I didn’t trust him, but I knew you would. You loved him too much not to.”

“But I was going to divorce him. I signed the papers.” She closed her eyes in pain. She had let Philip go. Daniel saw it all wrong. If she had really loved him that much how could she have so quickly decide to divorce him?

“And you drove him home that night from the Cheatin Heart.”

“I couldn’t let him get behind the wheel,” she quickly explained. She would have done the same for anyone.

“You had taken his keys. You had performed your community service, but you couldn’t let it go there.”

“What if he had gotten hurt walking on the highway or passed out somewhere?” Tears filled her eyes as she remembered that terrible night. Philip staggering along the side of the road, and then later Philip bloody and still.

Daniel smiled at her faintly, shaking his head. “I knew Chloe had PPD. I knew it was bad and I still turned her and Parker out of our home. I couldn’t bear to look at her. I selfishly protected my feelings instead of looking out for her. Love, real love, is not selfish. The way you still love Philip after everything that has happened, that is not selfish. That is real love. The kind we all want. The stuff songs are written about. Something I don’t think I ever really had with Chloe.”

“I think maybe you’re right,” said Chloe as she walked up on them in the waiting area, dressed in a plum hooded jacket and jeans, her long dark hair pulled back into a low ponytail. Bo had her loosely by the arm, trying to inconspicuously keep a handle on her, but also not making it obvious she was a prisoner.

“Chloe?” asked Daniel turning to look at her. “What are you doing here?”

“She came to see me before she goes upstate,” stated Melanie looking back and forth between them. She wondered just how much Chloe had heard before making her presence known.

“You’re leaving today?” asked Daniel his voice shaking slightly.

“Yes in a little while. Time to face the music as they say.” Chloe gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted you to have to…” His voice trailed off as he bowed his head.

“I know,” Chloe interrupted softly.”I don’t think either of us wanted any of this.” Melanie watched as Chloe and Daniel stared at each other, an awkward silence fell over the group. Melanie signaled to Bo with her eyes for help.

Bo cleared his throat. “We don’t have much time.”

Seeming to remember where he was, Daniel rose to leave. “Don’t let me keep you. Talk to you later sweetheart,” he said turning to Melanie.

“Daniel wait,” said Chloe stopping him. She reached out to touch him but stopped midway, letting her arm fall helplessly back to her side. “Just because it didn’t last doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Not everything is meant to last forever.”

“Some loves are just for the meantime, the in between?” offered Daniel.

“Right. They last just long enough.” Chloe was tearing up and Melanie felt the urge to cry with her. She had wanted her dad to be happy even if it led him to be with Chloe. It was as if she were witnessing a dream being crushed right before her eyes. Melanie knew she should look away, but she couldn’t. The intensity of their emotions was compelling.

“I wish…” he started turning his back to her.

“Me too,” Chloe added quietly.

Daniel ran his hands over his face and let out a heavy sigh. “I better get to my rounds. You take care of yourself Chloe.” Melanie watched her father sadly smile at Chloe over his shoulder before quickly taking off down the hall.

“What did you want to see me about Melanie?” asked Chloe wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I’ve got a little going away present for you.” Melanie broke into a smile just thinking about what this moment would mean to Parker.

“Let me guess, you managed to have me transferred to a hospital two states away?” she asked wryly.

“I’m not your enemy Chloe. I can’t stand the things you’ve done, but I don’t hate you.” She figured Chloe would think the worse. She would’ve too if the roles were reversed.

“I hope not,” Chloe said almost under her breath.

“Just come here,” said Melanie grabbing Chloe by the arm. “I have something to show you.”

=============

Yep I ended it there...could've kept going but that wouldn't be fun. Next update, chapter 7 concludes. What will happen when all four of them are in the same room?

[MrsM]

Wow. What a cliffhanger for me. Great chapter Slyn!

[fluffysmom]

I'm glad that Melanie has Daniel to lean on through this ordeal. I'm not sure she can take much more of this before she breaks down completely. I liked Daniel and Chloe having a conversation. I am anxious to see Chloe and Melanie in the room with Philip and Parker. Thanks Slyn.

[Kpatch]

I really feel like the end is near. You are making me feel what Melanie feels, like there is no tomorrow and the passing minutes are the enemy.

The OMG line of the day: He was performing his last act of treachery, he was going to take her heart with him to his grave.

LOL at Daniel saying Philip would have made a good surfer. Made me think of North Shore.

It was kind of Daniel to tell Melanie that he understood that what she feels for Philip is the real deal.

That was a sad moment between Daniel and Chloe.

I was surprised that Melanie was pulling Chloe into Philip’s room. I figured she would bring Parker to Chloe, not the other way around. I wouldn’t think Melanie would want Chloe seeing Philip anymore.

I can’t wait until the next part. I don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep. It’ll be like a little kid waking up on Christmas Day for me.

[mae00]

Awww! Parker's gonna have both daddy & mommy in the same room at the same time! Such a sweet thing for that little boy!

Can't wait to see what happens!!

[slyn11]

Thanks for all the comments guys! I am very excited for the last part of this chapter as well! Hold tight...it is coming!

[fluffysmom]

Thanks Slyn. I can hardly wait!

[mae00]

Can't wait!

[slyn11]

A/N - well I had planned to post this Friday...but I had to do some life stuff and the hubby was being annoying...then the update wasn't feeling right...spent all of Saturday staring it down while swatting away hubby (he is like a bored puppy sometimes). Now today I finally got it where I wanted it, and I am safe at work. (LOL no distractions here.)

Thanks to all the readers and comments. I truly appreciate you all.

Well we made it...we are at an end, yet also a beginning. Here lies the end of Undertow - part one. The story will continue in Undertow 2: Uncharted Waters. I will be starting a new thread for it, and will be posting the first chapter this week. I hope you will continue to join me on this journey. We have more to go.

I did a discussion thread for this last chapter. I hope you will check it out..it has a few semi spoilers and a bit of explanation into some things.
myhourglass.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=authorsficchat&thread=2776&page=13#85058

As always excuse the typos. I will fix them as I find them.

==============
Chapter 7 part 3

This is not where she expected to end up. After being removed from her cell a few hours prior, a pile of clothes and a towel shoved into her arms, she was pushed into a communal washroom. Tepid water was her only option, as she let it run all over her body letting it shock her slowly into wake. She had spent the night sleeping on her feet, head against the bars, leaning into the corner, There was no way she was going to get on that dingy cot. At first she had thought she wouldn’t sleep at all, so much was about to happen, it just seemed like her mind was too busy to rest. But it had. And she escaped in her dreams, happy visions of her with Parker.

Bo had been waiting for her outside the washroom door. He quietly led her by the arm up the stairs, through a side door, out into the cold. Chloe had expected to be thrown in the back of a police wagon or at least flanked by uniformed officers when she was transported upstate. Instead she was led to Bo’s Range Rover. It was a trip made in silence, a somber aura cast over the car, she felt like she was heading to the gallows. Bo said few words the entire trip. And when Chloe looked at him questioningly as they passed the exit for the interstate, his only response was they needed to first make a pit stop.

The same confused sinking feeling returned to her as she let Melanie drag her through the doors of Philip’s hospital room. The room was almost dark, except for the sharp slices of sunlight escaping through the slats in the blinds. The light seemed to solely fall on Philip in his bed, illuminating him with an eerie glow. Chloe had to look away. She didn’t like the feeling it gave her to see him highlighted in that way. It reminded her of those images of the resurrection on display at the rectory. She stepped in front of Melanie, turning her back on Philip.

"So what do you want to show me Melanie?" asked Chloe as she eyed the younger woman suspiciously.

It wasn’t like Melanie to want to do anything for her. Melanie looked nervous, staring down at her pink socked feet, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She was in her pajamas, a small yellow fitted tee shirt, and pink dotted bottoms. Not that Chloe was surprised to find Melanie in that state of dress. She knew that Melanie had often slept in the hospital to stay closer to Philip.

“Are you okay? I mean with what happened with you and Daniel out there?”

Chloe exhaled sharply. She had managed to let Daniel slip from her mind for a few minutes, now Melanie’s question made it all come rushing back. “Some things needed to be said.”

“I don’t know how much you heard before…”

“Enough,” said Chloe cutting her off. “He wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know anyway.”

“I don’t think he meant that stuff Chloe. He was just,” she paused running her fingers through her red hair uncomfortably. “Talking.”

“That’s the nature of letting go I think. We all struggle to find the reasons why, to give our failures meaning. I should be expert by now.” Chloe smiled sadly. “I’ve been through so many break ups.”

“So how do you do it? Let go, I mean.” Chloe watched Melanie’s eyes glance furtively toward the bed.

“For me it just sort of happens. One minute your begging and pleading for another chance, then suddenly you’re not. You wake up one day and realize there’s nothing left to fight for.”

“I doubt that would work in my case. I hate to lose, so I tend to never stop fighting.”

“I’ve noticed that about you. Reminds me of Philip.”

Melanie looked up in surprise. “Really?”

“Yep. Philip never stops fighting until he is forced to. Even then he still always keeps that small morsel of hope. Probably why he’s so good at his job. He never gives up till the deal goes his way.”

“Yeah. I can see that about him. I actually admire it. The problem is this time he’s fighting me and I don’t think he’s going to stop until he gets what he wants.”

“And what do you think he wants?” asked Chloe softly, her voice cracking, her mouth suddenly feeling dry.

“He wants me to let him go.” Chloe could see the tears shining in Melanie’s eyes and for a brief moment she wished she were closer to the girl, a friend, so she could hug her. She looked so small and alone, drowning in her cresting tears.

“Why did you want me here this morning?”

"Just look,” said Melanie leading Chloe closer to the crib in the center of the room. Chloe hadn’t noticed the crib before, too focused on Philip aglow in his bed.

Chloe peered into the small metal crib. "Oh Parker,” she said her face instantly brightening. “He's sleeping," she whispered glancing over at Melanie briefly before turning her attention back to the baby.


"Yeah,” Melanie smiled, looking down at the baby too. “He needs to get up soon, breakfast time. He's a little off schedule." Melanie reached into the crib and rubbed Parker’s stomach.

"I don't understand why he's here. Is he sick?" asked Chloe a bit concerned.

"No he's fine,” Melanie assured her. “I just thought you might want to see him."

Melanie scooped Parker up into her arms, holding the baby close to her chest. Chloe’s heart constricted as she watched Parker snuggle in closer to Melanie, before opening his eyes and looking up at her, a smile spreading across his little face.

"He’s smiling.” Chloe moved closer to them, wanting to reach out and touch her baby, then stopped herself remembering she didn’t have the right anymore.

Melanie rocked Parker gently in her arms, letting him ease into wake. She spoke to the baby in soft mellow tones, smiling down at him. “Do you want to hold him?” asked Melanie in soft melodic voice.

“Oh. Wow. Yes, of course,” responded Chloe her heart lifting. Melanie placed Parker carefully in Chloe’s arms. The baby squirmed in his new position, his face scrunching, as he started to whine. A momentary panic seized Chloe as Parker fidgeted in her arms. What if she were hurting him in some way right now? “Maybe you should just take him Melanie. He obviously wants you.”

“No, I think he’s just a little hungry. I have a bottle warming for him. I’m going to get it.”

Chloe struggled to remember what to do, how to comfort him. It seemed like so long since she had been allowed to be the one to take care of him. She felt inadequate, like she was doing everything wrong. Chloe had thought motherhood was partially instinctual, but right now she felt a disconnect from the little boy in her arms. Parker must have felt it too as he continued to fuss and wiggle.

Melanie came back over to them, placing her hand on Parker’s head, rubbing his hair gently. She handed Chloe a bottle. “It’s okay Parker. It’s your mommy. She’s going to have breakfast with you.” Melanie cooed. Parker settled down at the sound of Melanie’s voice, looking up at her.

“I don’t think he knows who I am Melanie. He’s probably forgotten me.”

“He knows. I’ll never let him forget.” Chloe looked up at Melanie in surprise. She didn’t know what to make of that statement. Here she had been thinking that Melanie was trying to replace her in Parker’s life, but now Melanie was saying otherwise.

"Why are you doing this Melanie?” asked Chloe as she rocked Parker in her arms. “I know you're scared of me being around him."

"Philip died last night," said Melanie biting down on her lower lip, a few tears sliding down her cheeks.

Chloe’s gut twisted at her words. "What?"

"Daniel brought him back, but he was gone Chloe. It was awful." Chloe watched Melanie as she walked over to Philip, and sat beside him on the bed. She brushed the hair away from his face with her fingers.

"Is he okay now?" asked Chloe as she slowly approached the bed.

"Okay?” Melanie shook her head and cried, unhidden, as if she didn’t have the energy to fight her emotions any longer. “His body will get weaker and weaker until it just shuts down."

Chloe took a seat in the chair by the bed, looking down at Parker. The baby had quieted down in Chloe’s arms, he now was staring up at her with his big blue eyes. "Are you saying he's going to die?"

“I don’t…I can’t.” Melanie shook her head, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. She looked down at Philip’s face sadly, taking a deep breath. “You know just everything that happened last night made me see a few things clearly. Parker could lose his father.”

"And I'm going away." Parker grabbed Chloe’s finger as she made the statement, as if he understood the meaning of her words, and was trying in his small way to hold her there. She leaned over and kissed his head, inhaling his sweet baby scent, before holding his bottle to his lips.


"I just wanted him to have his family even if it was just for a little while."

Family had been this elusive dream for Chloe, like spotting a four leaf clover in a vast field. When she finally did get her family, it felt a little too late, it was a let go dream that had since been replaced by others. Not that she didn’t love her parents and sister, they were great. But that tie that families had, probably created while a person was young and dependant, more open to love, that never really formed for Chloe. There had always felt like something was missing between them.

She had felt more connected to the men in her life, letting her lovers be her anchor in the world. When things were good, it almost worked, making her truly feel that chosen family was just as important, if not more so. Then things would go bad, and Chloe was left adrift, floundering to find her place again. Now she was about to doom Parker to the same fate. Floating through his existence without feeling like he truly belonged anywhere. She was leaving him just when they should be building their own tie.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you,” said Chloe holding Melanie’s gaze, understanding the impact of what Melanie wanted to do.

Parker sucked vigorously on Chloe’s lap, making happy coos as he drank his formula. She hugged him just a little closer as she finally let herself look over at Philip. Her heart lurched. He looked pale and thin, different than when she had last seen him. Maybe it was the daylight. She usually visited him in the shadow of night, where things were easily altered to the eye. Stark light of day hid no secrets. Philip looked like he was slipping away.

"I can't leave you guys alone in here, but I'll just sit back there out of your way,” announced Melanie rising to her feet looking around awkwardly. “You two should visit with Philip. I think he'd like that."

They both went silent for a moment, the only sounds in the room were the soft beep of Philip’s monitors and the gentle sucking of Parker in Chloe’s lap.

"It’s strange being here with you,” said Chloe breaking the silence. “I go back and forth with how I feel about you."

Melanie nodded. "I do the same."

"Believe it or not I do know you have Parker's best interest at heart.” Chloe paused looking down at Parker grabbing her hand as he drank. “I just..."


"You just wish I wasn't the one taking care of him,” she responded slowly meeting Chloe’s eyes.

"Something like that."

Chloe shifted Parker up on her shoulder, patting his back softly. It had been so long since she fed him. A task she used to perform so often when he was a newborn, something she had come to dread, his constant need for attention had annoyed Chloe then. Now she cherished it. This time with her son, no matter how brief, getting the chance to be his mother, to act like a mother, meant the world to her.

"You better take this,” said Melanie offering Chloe a cloth diaper. “Parker has been known to stain many a shirt.” Chloe took the diaper and smiled, putting it over her shoulder under Parker’s face on her. Chloe watched Melanie walk over to the window, peering through a slat in the blinds as she spoke. “I sometimes wish I wasn't the one taking care of him too. I want Philip to be here for him."

"Philip would be an amazing dad." The fact that Parker would probably never get to know his father was killing her.

Melanie turned to face her, a sad smile on her face. "I think so too, a natural. I want him to get the chance."

"I pray for it Melanie, everyday. I want Parker and Philip to have each other while I'm gone."

Chloe had never felt so helpless in her faith. Countless prayers provided her little solace when Philip remained unchanged for so long. She was beginning to wonder if God were truly listening. Even at her lowest, when she plunged into that cold river, she had felt God’s love surrounding her. But where was he for Philip? It didn’t seem possible that having a father leave his son was God’s will.

"It's starting to feel like that's not going to happen. None of us are going to have Philip soon."

"I don't want to believe that. He's been a part of my life for so long.” Chloe squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. Philip at seventeen, bangs in his eyes, squinting up at the sun, dimples on display popped into her mind. “I can't let him go."

Melanie’s voice was so small, as she glanced over at Philip, folding her arms across her chest. "Me either."

"We had so many memories, good times over the years. He was my first love."

Suddenly all she could see was the look of horror on Philip’s face when she told him about Brady. She could hear his voice breaking with tears as he professed his love and begged her not to go. Why didn’t she just say the words back then? Just let him know that she loved him too, even though she had chosen Brady. He didn’t deserve to doubt her feelings, despite everything else. Tears escaped past her lashes as she struggled to get her mind to focus on happier thoughts of Philip, like dancing, kisses under the stars, night swims on the lake.

"Mine too."

Chloe looked up in mild surprise. "I didn't realize."

Chloe watched Melanie walk back over to the bed and take a seat beside Philip, leaning back on the pillows that propped Philip’s head. "What we had wasn't big or showy. Maybe he didn't love me the same as you or Stephanie or Belle. I didn't get all the grand romantic gestures or the tireless pursuits he had with you, and the others. But he came home every night and I fell asleep in his arms and we started each day together.” She leaned over and kissed his forehead, slowly, lingering, almost reverent. Chloe had to look away feeling embarrassed to witness such an emotional display. “I guess it doesn't seem like much compared to what you guys had."

"Seems like a lot to me. You had what I've always wanted. You guys created a home. I'm so sorry that I had a hand in destroying that."

"I had a hand in destroying it too. I took it all for granted and now I'd give anything to get it back just for one more day," Melanie said mournfully.

"Another day would be nice. One more sunset on the balcony." A smile formed on her lips as she remembered the last time she had seen Philip, all in black, his foot up on the rail, staring into her eyes.

"What balcony?" asked Melanie.

"At the Towers Hotel, when we stayed there. We would sit outside watching the sunset, crying in our beers." She looked over at Parker, leaning on her shoulder, playing in her hair, twisting it around his small hand.

"Oh when you lived together." Melanie looked away dejectedly.

"It wasn't like that. I'm sorry I let you think...it wasn't right. I shouldn't have done that to Philip.” She had been a bad friend. All Philip had wanted then was to convince Melanie of his love and Chloe had shattered that in one malicious blow. Melanie may have deserved to be knocked down a peg, but not like that, not at Philip’s expense. “He truly loves you. He told me that. We're just friends Melanie."

"Thank you for saying that,” she said swiping at the steady flow of tears on her face. “And what I told you Philip said the night of the accident..."

"That he would give me up for you?"

“He didn’t really mean it.” Melanie averted her gaze, fidgeting with her wedding rings. “Just one of those things you say in the heat of the moment.”

"He meant it. I know Philip so well. When he's in love he'll do anything, say anything. Those grand romantic gestures."

"I'd never do that to him though. At least I'd like to think I wouldn't. I'd never let him walk away from someone he cared about for me. I never really had any friends and now that I finally do, I see how precious they are. I wouldn't take that from him. Even if I couldn't stand the friend."

"Thanks for saying that especially since you can't stand me." She chuckled as she perched Parker on her knee, facing him toward Philip and Melanie on the bed.

"Philip didn't do all that big stuff for me anyway...those grand gestures."

"How can you say that?” asked Chloe feeling a little shocked. “He might have done the biggest thing of all for you. He risked his life for you."

"When he shielded me in the car."

"Yes."

Chloe knew Philip was a hero, he would’ve done that for anyone. From what Brady had told her about the accident, how Philip protected her afterwards, how his final thoughts were about Melanie, it had seemed pretty grand to Chloe.

"I wish he hadn't. I didn't deserve it,” Melanie admitted sadly.

"I didn't deserve it either when he picked me up time and time again. But isn't it lucky he didn't feel the same? We should be glad he saw something worthwhile in us." She picked up Parker, turning him around, holding him close. She let herself imagine that some part of the hug was from Philip.

"Why are being so nice to me Chloe?"

"You gave me this amazing gift,” she said kissing Parker’s cheeks. “How can I not be nice?”

“Now you’re making me feel bad for all the awful thoughts I’ve had about you,” she sniffled.

“It’s okay,” Chloe said softly.

“No it’s not. I know you’re going through a lot. I know you’re not all bad. I just have a hard time with you sometimes. It hurts. I feel like you stole something from me.” She hesitated, a small sob interrupting the flow of her words as she continued. “I was supposed to be the one to have given Philip a baby, and now all of that is gone. And I can’t wish what happened away, I’d never want Parker gone, I love him. But I just feel like you took away my chance at a family.”

“I’m so sorry Melanie. You’ve got to believe I never meant to hurt you.”

Her words broke a dam somewhere within Chloe and the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Melanie transformed before her into a broken girl, scared and alone, dreaming of castles, and her perfect prince riding in to save her. Chloe had wrecked all of that for her, for them. Because she knew that Philip had wanted that life very much.

The tears kept coming. She put Parker back in her lap not wanting him to see her so emotional. She cried for all they had lost, for hopes with Daniel, for sweet little Parker being left alone without his parents, for Melanie’s pain, and most of all for she cried for Philip. Trapped between here and heaven, waiting for a way to finally be free.

“It doesn’t really matter now anyway.” Melanie looked sadly down at Philip.

“Don’t say that. There’s still time to hope. As long as he’s still with us there’s time.”

The soft rise and fall of Philip’s chest, his only movement, so still in his bed, shoved into fancy green pajamas, his hands posed over the tightly tucked handmade quilt. It just wasn’t right. He deserved more than this.

"Philip responded to Parker last night before...you know."

"He did?" asked Chloe wiping away her tears, trying to pull herself back together.

"He moved when Parker touched him."

Chloe smiled. "That's amazing."

"I was hoping he would do it again, bring him around."

"Can I try? I'd like to talk to him."

"Okay. I’ll give you some space," said Melanie as she got up from the bed and walked away.

Chloe turned Parker in her lap, to face the bed, before grabbing Philip’s stiff hand. ”How did we end up here? You’re in this bed, me on my way to yet another psych ward? We never could have imagined this as kids. I’ve been thinking a lot about us back in high school lately. About our time together. How you were this sweet boy that made me feel like I was in a fairytale. I know things didn’t last for us but for a while there, we had something so perfect and special, something no one else could ever touch.”

“Remember when I was the one in the bed? When I was fighting cancer? And you would come visit me every day trying to cheer me up? I’m sorry I didn’t do the same for you. Maybe if I hadn’t been so caught in my own drama if I had spent more time with you. I should have done just as much as you did for me. More. Because face it Philip you have pulled me through now more times than I can count. I sort of think that’s why we had our little miracle. No matter what happens, he connects us.” She looked down at Parker and smiled. “He’s living proof of our bond.”

“I’m not sure I can make it in this world without you. And I can’t believe Parker is going to lose both of us. He doesn’t need to pay for our mistakes like this.” Parker wiggled on her knee, leaning to get closer to the bed. Chloe moved him, so he could touch his father’s hand.

“Oh here I go again laying all my issues on you as usual. I’m going to stop that. I promise you Philip I am going to get strong and get healthy and find my way back to our son.”

She looked down at their hands, the three of them touching. Closest they probably would ever get to a real family moment. Chloe closed her eyes briefly memorizing it all. The look of Parker’s hand on top of his father’s, would be something she’d keep with her forever.

“I know you’re tired now. Maybe you were holding on for me. Until you knew I was okay for Parker. So trust me now I will be. And you can rest now. I promise I won’t let you down.” She sighed heavily, saying one more prayer for him. “Sleep well Philip.”

She tightened her grip on his hand, stroking it gently with her thumb. Philip looked so handsome, even in his thinner state. If only he would turn and look at her, even if it had to be the last time. She just wanted to see those familiar eyes once more.

Then suddenly, like a butterfly fluttering its wings, she felt it. She looked down in surprise, sure she was imagining it. Then again, this time she saw his fingers move. Philip was squeezing her hand.

“Melanie,” she called out excitedly. “He squeezed my hand.”

“Are you sure?” she asked running over to them. “It could be a reflex action.”

“He did it again!” Chloe almost yelled, as she felt the light pressure against her palm.

“Philip can you hear me?” Melanie asked leaning over his face, stroking his hair.

Chloe couldn’t contain her grin, happy tears welling in her eyes. Parker looked up at her uncertain about the commotion. “Melanie he is grabbing my hand.”

“Don’t let go of his hand Chloe. Don’t let him go,” said Melanie as she raced out the door to find help.

”I won’t,” said Chloe softly, smiling, staring at Philip struggling to open his eyes. “Not ever.”
======
Be sure to check out the next installment of this story. Undertow2: Uncharted Waters. Starts this week in a new thread.
UNDERTOW 2 myhourglass.proboards.com/index.c....84&page=1#85859

[mae00]

Awesome update slyn! You had me crying! So glad that I was at home reading this and not at work!! Can't wait for the next installment!

[fluffysmom]

I love Chloe and Parker together getting through to Philip. It was the perfect ending to part 1 of the story. I really liked seeing Chloe and Melanie put aside their differences and be kind to each other for the sake of both Parker and Philip. I'll post more in the comments thread.

I loved this line. "I just wanted him to have his family even if it was only for a little while."

[Kpatch]

Had me crying too.

It's good that Melanie and Chloe were both honest with each other and now Melanie knows what really did and didn't happen at the Towers. They have so much in common with Philip being the first love for both of them, and how he made them each feel like a princess.

My favorite line was the last, when Chloe said she wouldn't let go of Philip, not ever.

Thanks for volume 1 of your story. I am sooo ready for the next part of the journey.