Choices (Read 2,238 times)

[Kpatch]

Prelude, Part I

THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Molly: I need to talk to you, Mrs. Horton. It’s really important.
Alice: Of course, my darling, come in.
Molly: Dick is going to make a mess of everything. He’s gonna screw it all up.
Alice: Dick?
Molly: Dick Dorkay. You know, the executive producer.
Alice: Yes, of course.
Molly: See, kpatch has a new story. Well, it’s actually two stories.
Alice: Oh that’s wonderful. I do so love kpatch’s stories.
Molly: Me too. Thing is, Dick isn’t crazy about her and he’s always messing with her stories ... sort of like he does with Days.
Alice: So true. I long for the good old days when his parents were running the show.
Molly: This time, kpatch has written a couple stories about love and choices, and he’s just going to wreck it.
Alice: I can understand why you’re so worried.
Molly: Dick is a man who thinks good soap opera romances start with a physical examination that ends in groping. Or four people having sex in an elevator.
Alice: <gasp>
Molly: No no no. Not all four people in the same elevator. Two in one elevator and two in another.
Alice: Thank heavens. You had me worried.
Molly: See this story is about Philip and Sami.
Alice: Philip and Sami? That seems odd. I didn’t realize they were a couple. I must have a missed an episode.
Molly: Oh, they’re not. It’s two separate stories. One is called "Sami’s Choice."
Alice: I love Merryl Street.
Molly: Streep. And it’s not SOPHIE’S Choice. It’s "Sami’s Choice." The other story is called "Philip’s Choice" and the two stories are going to run concurrently on alternate days. Does that make sense?
Alice: It makes about as much sense as anything else on Days, dear.
Molly: This isn’t Days. It’s kpatch’s story. Fan fiction.
Alice: I see.
Molly: Will you help me? I mean, Dick usually does some of the chapter commentary with me, but I just can’t take the chance.
Alice: What would you like me to do?
Molly: Do the commentary with me? These stories need a loving touch, and no one is more loving than you.
Alice: I’d love to, my darling.
Molly: Really? Could you? Would you? Oh that would be so cool.
Alice: I do have a question, though.
Molly: What is it?
Alice: Who are you?
Molly: Oh. Um.


Tune in tomorrow for Part II of the Prelude...

______________________________________
Copyright ©2009 kpatch. All rights reserved.

[Kpatch]

THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Molly: Will you help me? I mean, Dick usually does some of the chapter commentary with me, but I just can’t take the chance.
Alice: What would you like me to do?
Molly: Do the commentary with me? These stories need a loving touch, and no one is more loving than you.
Alice: I’d love to, my darling.
Molly: Really? Could you? Would you? Oh that would be so cool.
Alice: I do have a question, though.
Molly: What is it?
Alice: Who are you?
Molly: Oh. Um. Sorry, I thought you knew who I am. Sometimes I forget that not everyone knows me and I just run off at the mouth and talk a blue streak and forget to mention who I am and who I am is Molly. I play Melanie on the show and I’m also a creative consultant for some of the stories at MyHourglass.
Alice: So, you’re Melanie. I just adore Melanie.
Molly: You do? You still watch the show?
Alice: Every single day of my life.
Molly: Sweet! And you like Melanie?
Alice: She’s a charming character, dear. You do a wonderful job of playing her.
Molly: Wow. Thanks Mrs. H. Is it okay if I call you Mrs. H?
Alice: Please do. I'd like to know a little more about the stories.
Molly: I'll run through the Previews for you.


PREVIEW OF PHILIP’S CHOICE --

Stephanie: I’m still thinking.

Philip: I’ll get my checkbook.

Stephanie: I hope you’re not squandering your money on cheeseburgers.

Melanie: I’m a cheap date.

Nathan: Which one do you want me to tackle?

Chloe: I want things to be the way they used to be.

Philip: I was hoping we could still be friends.



PREVIEW OF SAMI’S CHOICE --

Marlena: Why are you scared of love?

Sami: EJ! What are you doing here?

Lucas: I came to pick up Allie.

Marlena: The spawn of the devil.

Sami: Are you a pervert?

Marlena: Call me Dr. Evans.



Tune in on for the start of Choices ...

[Kpatch]

SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL DOCTOR’S LOUNGE

Lexie [on the phone]: Hi Philip. It’s Lexie Carver.
Philip: Lexie. Is something wrong? I don’t usually get a call from you unless someone I know is in the hospital.
Lexie: No, everything is fine. I have a favor to ask.
Philip: Shoot.
Lexie: You know that I’m the local chairperson for Autism Speaks.
Philip: Right.
Lexie: I need your help.
Philip: Oh. A donation. I’ll get my checkbook.
Lexie: That would be wonderful, but that’s not the favor.
Philip: It’s not?
Lexie: We’re holding a charity event at Chez Rouge, and I was hoping you would emcee.
Philip: Me? I’m not an entertainer. Why don’t you ask Doug Williams?
Lexie: Actually, he’s in our lineup of guest singers. I had something else in mind for you.
Philip [laughs]: Uh oh.
Lexie: You see, we’re having an auction.
Philip: Now, I KNOW you’ve got the wrong guy.
Lexie: It’s a bachelorette auction. And I thought a handsome single man like you would be the perfect person to host. The single men bidding can relate to you, and I’m sure you would describe the ladies quite well.
Philip: Hmmm. I’d have to think about it.
Lexie: What’s there to think about?
Philip: This isn’t something I feel comfortable with. It’s not really me.
Lexie: But it’s for a really worthwhile cause.
Philip: When is it?
Lexie: Friday, November 6th.

[Lexie hangs up the phone as Nathan walks in.]

Nathan: That spreadsheet looks complicated. What are you working on, Lexie?
Lexie: Organizing the autism fundraiser.
Nathan: You know I’ll help out in any way I can.
Lexie: Thanks Nathan. But according to the hospital schedule, you’ll be working on the 6th.
Nathan: Maybe I can trade shifts with someone. Either way, I’d be happy to help out with any prep work you need.
Lexie: Really? That would be wonderful. You’re a lifesaver. [She hands him a stack of papers.]
Nathan: Um. Which one do you want me to tackle?
Lexie: Start with the top one and work your way down. [Her pager goes off.] I need to go check on a patient. [She leaves as Nathan surveys the papers.]
Nathan: Nate, when will you learn to keep your mouth shut? Hmmm. This is interesting. The bachelorette list. [He peruses the list.]

Stephanie Johnson
Melanie Layton
Arianna Hernandez
Arianna Huffington
Mary Richards
Blanche duBois
Kate Roberts
Chloe Lane
Penny Lane
Elaine Bennis
Eleanor Rigby
Mia McCormick
Maureen McCormick
Marcia Brady
Sami Brady
Cindy Brady
Jennifer Aniston
Rhoda Morgenstern
Ida Morgenstern
Morgan Hollingsworth
Aunt Bea
Hazel
Ellen Degeneris
Raven
Rachel Green
Phoebe Bouffay
Hannah Montana
Mary Hart
Mary Hartman Mary Hartman
Whoopi Goldberg
Richard Simmons
Phyllis Diller
Golda Meir
Mae West
Charo


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

JOHN AND MARLENA’S CHALET, LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

Sami: Thanks for inviting me to come, Mom. I think some time away from Salem may be just what I need.
Marlena: I’m thrilled you came, sweetie. Here is the guest room. Make yourself comfortable.
Sami: It’s very homey.
Marlena: Sami, I have something I want to say to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when Grace died.
Sami: I really needed you.
Marlena: I know. I was wrong not to come. I just couldn’t face it.
Sami: What do you mean?
Marlena: When you called me to tell me about Grace, I had a flood of memories about DJ.
Sami: Your baby who died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Marlena: That’s right. I know I should have been stronger ... been there for you, but I found myself unable to deal with it.
Sami: It’s okay, Mom. We’re together now.
Marlena: Thank you for understanding.
Sami: In a way, I feel like coming to Lugano was like running away from home. What do you think?
Marlena: Sometimes, running away can be healthy. As long as you’re not running away permanently. But you can never run away from yourself because you take yourself with you wherever you go.
Sami: That’s for sure.
Marlena. You need time to process everything and sort through your feelings.
Sami: Thanks Mom. I’m glad you understand me.
Marlena [putting her arms around her daughter]: I always have. Now then, I’m going to leave you be for a while. You can stay in your room or come out into the living room, or go take a walk. Take all the time you want. I’ll be right outside if you need me.
Sami: Thanks Mom.
Marlena: I love you sweetie. [She leaves the guest room.]
Sami: I lo... [Sami’s voice trails off. She lays down on her bed, stares up at the ceiling and starts to weep. She thinks about the last time she saw Rafe....]


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: A bachelorette auction?
Molly: It’s sort of like a beauty pageant. But the women are for sale.
Alice: In my day, they called it a brothel.
Molly: No no no. This is completely wholesome, Mrs. H. I promise.
Alice: Nothing is ever COMPLETELY wholesome on a soap opera.


KIRIAKIS MANSION

Philip: Lexie asked me to emcee the Autism Speaks fundraiser on the 6th.
Stephanie: That’s cool. She asked me to help out too.
Philip: That’s great. We’ll be working together.
Stephanie: She asked me to be a bachelorette.
Philip: You mean...
Stephanie: They’re auctioning off a date with me.
Philip: I don’t think I like that idea.
Stephanie: Why not?
Philip: Because ... you’re not exactly single.
Stephanie: I’m not exactly married either. Or engaged.
Philip: But you’re still thinking about it, right? At the Brady’s Labor Day barbeque, you said “maybe.”
Stephanie: I’m still thinking.
Philip: Getting back to the auction. I’d rather you didn’t do it. What I mean is ...
Stephanie: I know what you mean, Philip, but it’s for a good cause. It’s for charity.
Philip [flirtatiously]: Suppose I forbid you to do it?
Stephanie: Ha! I’d like to see you try.
[They move closer to each other.]
Philip: I have my ways, you know.
Stephanie: Go ahead. Try to persuade me.
[He kisses her.]


CHEZ ROUGE

Mickey: Is that good for you?
Maggie: Ooh, pretty good, but I like it a little higher.
Mickey: How’s that?
Maggie: Ooh, you’ve almost got it exactly where I like it. Just a little bit higher.
Mickey: Now?
Maggie: Yes yes yes! You’re the best, Mickey. That’s perfect.
Mickey: I think so too.
Maggie: The banner for the fundraiser looks wonderful. Thank you for all your help in hanging it up.
Mickey: That's nothing. Lexie’s the one who’s working like a dog. I know she will be glad when the event is over.
Maggie: She’s got a really lofty goal. She wants to raise $1 million in one night.


To be continued...

[Kpatch]

HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: You look perturbed, dear.
Molly: I just got this email from Dorkay. It’s freakingunbelievable.
Alice: Oh?
Molly: He just instituted a new policy that says each episode of Days has to have at least 25% flashbacks.
Alice: That seems excessive.
Molly: Tell me about it! He says the policy applies to kpatch’s stories too.
Alice: Oh no.
Molly: I refuse to subject kpatch’s readers to the same stuff our viewers have to endure!
Alice: What will happen if you refuse? Will he fire you?
Molly: Probably. But he always rehires me. At a higher salary. Hey! I know what to do!
Alice: Oh?
Molly: Instead of a flashback, we’ll do a dream sequence!
Alice: Good thinking, dear! I have one question though.
Molly: What is it?
Alice: What’s an email?


LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

Marlena: You can stay in your room or come out into the living room, or go take a walk. I’ll be right outside if you need me.
Sami: Thanks Mom.
Marlena: I love you sweetie. [She leaves the guest room.]
Sami: I lo... [Sami’s voice trails off. She lays down on her bed, stares up at the ceiling and starts to weep as she thinks about the last time she saw Rafe. Sami is starting to fall asleep when EJ enters.]

*SAMI’S DREAM*

Sami: EJ! What are you doing here?
EJ: I couldn’t stay away any longer darling. You know we belong together.
Sami: EJ!
[He kisses her.]
Sami: Oh EJ. [They continue to kiss and make passionate love to each other.]
EJ: Darling. I’m so completely happy.
Sami: Me too.
[All of a sudden, Rafe storms into the bedroom.]
Sami: Rafe! What are you doing here?
Rafe: I’m here to save you from this slimeball Dimera.
EJ: What did you call me? [He gets out of bed and stands nose to nose with Rafe.]
Rafe: You heard me. Slimeball!
[EJ and Rafe start hitting and punching each other. All of a sudden, Lucas walks in.]
Lucas: Sami! What the hell are you doing?
Sami: Oh hi Lucas. What are you doing here?
Lucas: I came to pick up Allie.
Sami: I’ll go get her.
Lucas: What are THEY doing?
Sami: Who?
Lucas: EJ and Ralph.
Sami: It’s Rafe. Pay no attention to them. They’re just fighting over me.
Lucas: Should I join them?
Sami: Lucas, don’t be silly. I’ll be right back.
[Sami awakens with a start and sits up in her bed. She goes to the bathroom and splashes cold water on her face.]
Sami: Fighting over me. I’m tired of fighting.

[She turns around to get a towel and sees one of the three men standing in front of her. Suddenly, Sami wakes up with start and sits up in her bed.]
Sami: Wow, that was an intense dream. I hope Mom brought her dream imagery and analysis book with her to Switzerland.


To be continued....

[Kpatch]

HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: Oh dear.
Molly: What’s wrong, Mrs. H?
Alice: I’m looking over the script for today’s chapter and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.
Molly: Why not?
Alice: It has that awful little Stephanie in it.
Molly: Don’t you like her?
Alice: It’s hard to believe she’s Steve and Kayla’s child.
Molly: I agree.
Alice: In my day, there was a name for girls like her.
Molly: What was it?
Alice: I’m too much of a lady to say.
Molly: Oh shucks.
Alice: Oh, alright. Come closer and I’ll whisper it to you.


BRADY PUB

Arianna: More coffee?
Stephanie: No thanks. We’re good.
Philip: So Steph, have you decided about the auction?
Stephanie: What about the auction?
Philip: About putting yourself up for sale and making a spectacle of yourself.
Stephanie: I told you ... it’s for a good cause. Besides, I intend to raise the most money.
Philip: Excuse me? How do you expect to do that?
Stephanie: Well, it just so happens I know a certain wealthy, single, and adorable emcee who’s going to bid on me.
Philip: Oh, about that ... I have bad news, Steph.
Stephanie: What kind of bad news?
Philip: As the emcee, I’m not allowed to bid on the bachelorettes. Something about a conflict of interest.
Stephanie: That’s stupid.
Philip: Maybe so, but it’s the rules. I mean, I’ll make a donation, of course, but it can’t be as part of the auction.
Stephanie: Crap. Now I’m gonna have to go campaign.
Philip: What is that supposed to mean?
Stephanie: It means I’ve gotta find some men who are willing to spend a lot of money on me.
Philip: I was really hoping you’d bow out of this whole thing.
Stephanie: Not a chance. [She leaves.]

[Philip is sitting at a table at the Pub, reviewing the list of bachelorettes. Just then, a familiar voice greets him.] “Hello sugar.”
Philip [turns around and sees her]: Morgan! [He stands up to greet her.]
Morgan: Hi handsome. I can’t believe you’re in the exact same spot where I left you two years ago.
Philip [laughs]: I haven’t moved from here. I’ve been waiting for you to come back.
Morgan: That’s just what I wanted to hear. [She kisses him. He pulls away.] What’s the matter, sugar?
Philip: My life is ... really complicated right now.
Morgan: What happened to you and Chloe? Are you together?
Philip: She married my brother.
Morgan: Oh. That’s horrid. You must hate them both.
Philip: Actually, they’re not married anymore. She ran off with her doctor.
Morgan: Oh my. So, that means you’re single?
Philip: Yes and no.
Morgan: Come again?
Philip: I’m sort of engaged.
Morgan: Wow, a lot has happened since I left.
Philip: Well, you HAVE been gone for two years.
Morgan: I told you I’d be back. And here I thought you’d wait.
Philip: I tried. Sorry.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: Do you know what I miss about Days?
Molly: Tell me, Mrs. H.
Alice: Family. The show used to be so heartwarming. So loving. No matter what else happened, love and family were always at the center of the show.
Molly: Funny you should mention that. In this next chapter of Sami’s Choice, Sami is having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother.
Alice: Just what the doctor ordered.


LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

[Sami comes out of her room to find Marlena sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper.]

Sami: Where’s John?
Marlena: He’s downstairs in the fitness center with Sven.
Sami: Sven?
Marlena: The physical therapist I told you about. He puts John through his paces every day.
Sami: John seems to be making great progress.
Marlena: Sven is a miracle worker. And he’s drop-dead gorgeous, to boot. He’s a cross between Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger.
Sami: Mom!
Marlena: He’s not my type or anything. I’m just saying he’s easy on the eyes. Are you up to talking, sweetie?
Sami: I guess.
Marlena: Tell me what’s going on.
Sami: I thought Rafe was THE ONE. I really did. But now I’m not so sure.
Marlena: Why’s that?
Sami: Because he’s keeping secrets from me. He doesn’t trust me enough to share his secrets with me.
Marlena: I see.
Sami: Mom, he’s the first man who knows everything about me. I mean everything. I told him about my whole life. All my secrets, my past, both good and bad. Things I’m not proud of. It’s all out there.
Marlena: That’s good, Sami. You know how I feel about honesty. It’s the core of a healthy relationship.
Sami: So what do I do? What can I do if Rafe won’t be honest with me?
Marlena: Well, you can’t force someone to tell you something. In fact, if you try to force it, it could be disastrous.
Sami: Do you think there’s ever a good enough reason for someone to keep a secret from you?
Marlena: Do you?
Sami: I’ve rationalized my share of secrets.
Marlena: Do you think this secret has the potential to cause problems for the two of you?
Sami: I’m afraid it could.
Marlena: Sami sweetie, I want you to be happy. I know you can be. You just have to let go a little. Let go of the anger and self-righteousness. Stop expecting other people to make you happy, and take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness.
Sami: Are you saying that maybe I just need to be on my own for a while?
Marlena: Maybe you do. What about Lucas and EJ?


To be continued...

[Kpatch]

JAVA CAFE, the “Place Your Orders” Line

[Nathan and Philip are waiting in line.]
Nathan: Tell me, Philip, what do want?
Philip: A Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte. Are you treating?
Nathan: Let me rephrase the question. WHO do you want? Stephanie? Or Melanie?
Philip: I’m not having this conversation with you.
Nathan: No, seriously. It’s important for me to know. Because it seems like whichever one you DON’T choose is the girl I can go after.
Philip: Take a hike, Nathan.
Nathan: It’s just not fair for you to hog all the women for yourself.
Philip: Listen, Nathan, I don’t know what anyone has told you, and I don’t care what you think. But, for the record, I’m with Stephanie.
Nathan: Really? That’s interesting because … nevermind.
Philip: What? What were you going to say?
Nathan: Stephanie asked me to bid on a date with her at the autism auction.
Philip: Ha! You’re a first year resident. Where does Stephanie think you’re getting the cash to bid?
Nathan: I’m sure you’ve heard the term “Trust Fund Baby.”
Philip: Interesting. I have to check the rulebook, but I’m pretty sure that you can’t bid a trust fund. I’ll read the rulebook tonight. In bed. With Stephanie.

[Melanie arrives.]
Nathan: Hi Red!
Melanie: Hi Nathan. Um. Hello Philip.
Philip: Hey Mel.
Melanie: Um, Nathan, are we still on for dinner tonight?
Nathan: Absolutely. It can’t be too expensive though. I’m saving up to bid on a date with you at the autism auction.
Philip: Ha!
Nathan: Shut up Philip.
Melanie: You know me. I’m a cheap date. [She blushes.] Um, I mean….
Nathan: It’s okay, Mel. How about Buddy’s Burger Barn?
Melanie: Fine by me.


To be continued...

[Kpatch]

LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

Marlena: What about Lucas and EJ?
Sami: What about them?
Marlena: How is Lucas doing? I read in the newspaper about what happened to Chloe.
Sami: The Lugano newspaper reported on what happened in Salem???
Marlena: We ordered a subscription to the Salem Spectator so we can keep up with news from home.
Sami: Oh. Lucas is okay, I mean, now that the whole fiasco with Chloe is over. And Kate.
Marlena: Poor Lucas.
Sami: I feel really bad for him. I mean, he’s such a great guy, and he can’t seem to catch a break.
Marlena: I truly admire your ability to stay friends with him.
Sami: You and daddy are still friends. If you can do it, so can we.
Marlena: Lucas has been an exceptionally good friend to you, hasn’t he?
Sami: He’s actually my best friend. He’s always there for me when I need him. No matter what. I can count on him for anything.
Marlena: I’m glad you have him for a friend. ... What? What is that odd look on your face all about?
Sami: I don’t think I told you this. At Uncle Bo’s Labor Day barbeque, Lucas ... sort of ... asked me out.
Marlena: On a date?
Sami: Yes. He said something about not squandering true love.
Marlena: It sounds like Lucas was trying to tell you that he loves you.
Sami: I think that’s exactly what he was saying.
Marlena: How do you feel about that?
Sami: I have mixed feelings. It scares me a little.
Marlena: Why’s that?
Sami: Because I love him too.
Marlena: Why are you scared of love?
Sami: I’m scared because I also love Rafe. And EJ.


To be continued...

[Kpatch]

HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: I just adore Nathan.
Molly: You do?
Alice: Of course! He’s a Horton. He’s my great-great-great-great-great-great grandson.
Molly: He’s not THAT great.
Alice: Don’t you like him?
Molly: Oh yes. I think he’s awesome!
Alice: Good! I’m rooting for Nathan and Melanie.


BUDDY’S BURGER BARN

Melanie: Are you going to be able to come to the auction or do you have to work on the 6th?
Nathan: I wouldn’t miss the auction for anything. I got Daniel to cover for me.
Melanie: Yes!!!!!! I mean ... that’s cool. So Nathan, you said you want to bid on a date with me. How much am I worth to you? Haha. Just kidding. You don’t have to answer that. But seriously, you are going to bid on me, aren’t you?
Nathan [pulling out his wallet]: Hmmm. I have a $20. That should cover it.
Melanie: Very funny. You can expect to be outbid in like 30 seconds.
Nathan: By who?
Melanie: By lots of people. Did you know there are prizes for the bachelorette who gets the most bids and for the bachelorette who gets the highest bid?
Nathan: Ooh. What kinds of prizes?
Melanie: The Salem Place Travel Agency is giving away an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii for the highest number of bids. And Trump Towers Salem Centre is paying a year’s lease on a waterfront condo for the highest dollar amount.
Nathan: Which prize would you rather have?
Melanie: Hmmm. I don’t know. I think I would prefer the apartment. I mean, I want to go to Hawaii someday, but a vacation is short-term. The apartment is longer-term. And it would be nice to have my own place.
Nathan: And move out of Grandma Maggie’s? Say, maybe I could move into that waterfront apartment with you. [He moves in close to Melanie and kisses her.]
Melanie: I see. So, you want to move in together? That’s kinda funny 'cause we already do live together.
Nathan [backing off]: Yeah, but not alone.
Melanie: We’d have to get through an entire date first.
Nathan: Definitely. I guess I need to earn some overtime to get you the highest bid.
[Stephanie walks into Buddy’s, sees Nathan and Melanie, and walks over to their table.]
Stephanie: This looks cozy.
Melanie: Oh goodie, it’s Princess Stephanie.
Nathan: Hey Steph.
Stephanie: I hope you’re not squandering your money on cheeseburgers, Nathan. You need to save up to bid on me at the auction.
Nathan: Um.
Melanie: You’re bidding on Stephanie???
Nathan: Um.
Stephanie: That’s right. He is. He promised me.
Nathan: Well, I haven’t exactly decided.
Melanie [getting up]: Well, when you HAVE exactly decided, call me. But until then, keep your distance, because I’m tired of men like you and like Philip …
Stephanie: Philip?
Melanie: … using me until Miss Princess here decides who she wants to be with. [She leaves.]
Nathan [to Stephanie]: Want some fries?


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: Oh dear, Sami does have quite a dilemma on her hands, doesn’t she?
Molly: She sure does. What would YOU do if you were her?
Alice: Count my lucky stars to have three hotties to choose from.
Molly: Mrs. H!
Alice: Oh dear. Did I shock you?
Molly: A little. You also made me love you even more.


LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

Marlena: It sounds like Lucas was trying to tell you that he loves you.
Sami: I think that’s exactly what he was saying.
Marlena: How do you feel about that?
Sami: I have mixed feelings. It scares me a little.
Marlena: Why’s that?
Sami: Because I love him too.
Marlena: Why are you scared of love?
Sami: I’m scared because I also love Rafe. And EJ ... for some strange reason, I’m still attracted to him.
Marlena: Oh my. I see. OK. Let’s talk about EJ.
Sami: Do we have to?
Marlena: No, we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. But you brought it up. Sweetie, I know that your involvement with EJ has been complicated.
Sami: That’s putting it mildly. I just can’t figure out why ... I mean ... even after all the horrible things he’s said and done ... why am I still attracted to him?
Marlena: Why do YOU think you’re attracted to him?
Sami: You think I’m crazy, don’t you?
Marlena: No ...
Sami: Then what? Do you think that what I’m feeling is normal?
Marlena: Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Sami, sweetie, you know I have a soft spot for EJ because he helped me find John when I thought he was dead.
Sami: I know.
Marlena: But that doesn’t mean I overlook the fact that he’s ...
Sami: He’s what?
Marlena: The spawn of the devil. Evil incarnate. And extremely dangerous.
Sami: Why don’t you tell us what you really think, Mom?
Marlena: Call me Dr. Evans.
Sami: Huh?
Marlena: Sorry, force of habit.
Sami: So you’re saying that I shouldn’t find him attractive?
Marlena: We can’t help being attracted to someone. Heck, I’m attracted to Sven, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it.
Sami: You’re attracted to Sven???
Marlena: Who wouldn’t be? He’s a cross between Heath Ledger and Brad Pitt.
Sami: So you've said.
Marlena: But that’s beside the point. The point is that you can find someone attractive, but maintain distance and perspective. Being attracted to someone isn’t the same thing as being in love. Do you understand what I mean, Sami?
Sami: Yes. You’re telling me to stay away from EJ.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

BUDDY’S BURGER BARN

Melanie: You’re bidding on Stephanie???
Nathan: Um.
Stephanie: That’s right. He is. He promised me.
Nathan: Well, I haven’t exactly decided.
Melanie [getting up]: Well, when you HAVE exactly decided, call me. But until then, keep your distance, because I’m tired of men like you and like Philip …
Stephanie: Philip?
Melanie: … using me until Miss Princess here decides who she wants to be with. [She leaves.]


PARK BENCH

[Philip is sitting on the park bench as Melanie rushes by.]
Philip: Melanie! Where’s the fire?
Melanie: Oh hi Philip.
Philip: Are you okay? You look a little upset.
Melanie: You’re the last person I want to talk to about the state of my mental health.
Philip: You’re still angry with me, aren’t you?
Melanie: You mean, because you used me and tossed me aside like a chewed up piece of gum?
Philip: Melanie, I feel really bad about how things turned out.


HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: I’m just so angry with Philip.
Molly: You are?
Alice: I hate the way he’s treated Melanie. Make sure you don’t let him off the hook easily.
Molly: Well, it’s not up to me.
Alice: Of course it is, dear. Stand up for yourself. Don’t take any bull****.
Molly: Mrs. H!!!
Alice: I was going to say “baloney,” of course.
Molly: What I meant is that it’s not up to me. It’s up to kpatch. This is her story.
Alice: Well, I hope she makes Philip grovel before Melanie forgives him.


PARK BENCH

Philip: Melanie, I feel really bad about how things turned out.
Melanie: As you should.
Philip: I was complete jerk.
Melanie: That’s putting it mildly.
Philip: I’m sorry. What I did to you was unforgiveable.
Melanie: You’d better pray that Max never comes back from London.
Philip: Why’s that?
Melanie: I spoke to him last week. It seems he saw the video and he told me if he ever sees you again -- either dressed or undressed -- he’ll kill you.
Philip: Oh great. Why not? Add Max to my list of enemies. Listen Mel...
Melanie: Look Philip, I’m in no mood to dredge up the entire affair. It’s obvious that it’s all about Stephanie, that she has you completely whipped ...
Philip: Hey!
Melanie: ...that she just has to crook her little finger and hint at the remote possibility of a reconciliation, and you go running. Whoosh. Like a rocket.
Philip: Are you trying to make me feel bad?
Melanie: Is it working?
Philip: Heck yes.
Melanie: Can I ask you a question?
Philip: Can I stop you?
Melanie: What has Stephanie got that ... I... um ... What has Stephanie got that makes men fall all over her? I mean, okay, she’s pretty in a superficial kind of way, but everything about her is artificial, from her false eyelashes to the bumpit on her head.
Philip: That’s a little catty, don’t you think?
Melanie: I like cats. Answer the question.
Philip: I ... It’s hard to put into words.
Melanie: Does she make you laugh like I do?
Philip: No, not really.
Melanie: Can you be honest with her about things ... like you are with me?
Philip: No, not always.
Melanie: Can you talk to her about your family, or your job, like you can with me?
Philip: No, not hardly.
Melanie: I feel bad for you, Philip. If she’s the kind of girl you want to spend your life with ... well, you’re going to be miserable. That’s pretty much a guarantee.
Philip: Ouch.
Melanie: That’s just the way I see it.
Philip: A little tact would go a long way.
Melanie: I’m pretty much an open book. I say what’s on my mind.
Philip: So do I. Melanie, even with everything that happened, I was hoping we could still be friends.
Melanie: Is this the “let’s be friends” speech? Where are those cranberry muffins when you need them?
Philip: I didn’t mean it that way. I swear.
Melanie: Then what? Tell me. If you didn’t mean it that way, what way did you mean it?
Philip: I was sincere. I miss talking to you. We were getting to be friends and ... and I really liked having you in my life.
Melanie: Go to hell, Philip.


HORTON RESIDENCE

Molly: Happy now?
Alice: Quite. Thank you.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

[Sami is sitting on the living room sofa, reading the Salem Spectator and gets startled by a sound.]
Sami: Who’s there?
Sven, the physical therapist: It is I, Sven.
Sami: Oh. I didn’t know anyone else was here.
Sven: No John?
Sami: No. Marlena took John to a doctor’s appointment.
Sven: My forget.
Sami: They’ll be back in a few hours.
Sven: You are liking Lugano?
Sami: Oh yes, very much.
Sven: Do you go out?
Sami: I haven’t gone out much, no. I mostly came to spend time with my mother. I’m not that interested in sightseeing.
Sven: I will show you sights.
Sami: That’s very nice, but I’m fine.
Sven: Very fine.
Sami: Excuse me?
Sven: You are beautiful women, no?
Sami: Thank you. That’s very nice of you to say. You’re very handsome.
Sven: Like American movie star.
Sami: You do look like a movie star.
Sven: I look like Brad Pitt, no?
Sami: As a matter of fact, you do. With a little Heath Ledger tossed in there.
Sven [sits down on the sofa next to Sami]: You like Sven?
Sami: Um, yeah, I guess so.
Sven: You make with my love?
Sami: Sorry?
Sven: Make love with me?
Sami: Ohhhh. No, thank you.
Sven: You don’t like Sven?
Sami: Oh, I like Sven, but my life is complicated enough without Sven.
[He starts kissing her. She starts to resist, but succumbs.]


THE HORTON RESIDENCE

Alice: Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Please tell me that Sami isn’t going to get involved with yet another man.
Molly: Maybe you should close your eyes for this next part.
Alice: I just hope she doesn’t end up with another baby.
Molly: Have no fear, Mrs. H. kpatch has taken care of that.


LUGANO, SWITZERLAND

Sami: Oh, I like Sven, but my life is complicated enough without Sven.
[He starts kissing her. She starts to resist, but succumbs.]
Sami: Oh Sven.
Sven: Samantha ... Samantha ... Kindergard.
Sami: Kindergarten? Are you a pervert?
Sven: Nisht. Not kindergarten. Nein. Kindergard.
Sami: Huh?
Sven: Um. Kinder nicht. No babies.
Sami: Ohhhh. Birth control. No, I don’t have any.
Sven: I do. [He pulls a condom out of his pocket. Sami smiles.]


LATER...

Sven: Tell Marlena I will come back.
Sami: Sven, I ... I owe you an apology.
Sven: No, I don’t think so, Leibchen.
Sami: I mean ... I called you by another man’s name. I’m sorry.
Sven: No worry. Sven not hear it. I go now.
Sami: Okay. Good-bye Sven.


To be continued...

[Kpatch]

*PHILIP’S DREAM*

[Stephanie and Philip are in bed together in Philip’s bedroom at the mansion.]
Stephanie: I’m so happy, Philip.
Philip: Me too. [They kiss.] I was thinking, since everything is back to the way it used to be for us, I’d like to go back to work at Titan. Would that be okay?
Stephanie: You can’t.
Philip: Why not?
Stephanie: Because I said so.
Philip: Steph, be reasonable. It’s not as if I need your permission.
Stephanie: Yes you do. You have to do what I want, Philip, or we’re through. You have to do what I want. I want. I want.
[All of a sudden, Melanie appears.]
Melanie: I want. I want. I want you just the way you are, Philip.
Philip: Melanie. You’re the only woman who accepts me just the way I am.
[All of a sudden, Chloe appears.]
Chloe: I want things to be the way they used to be, Philip.
Philip: Chloe, you’re so beautiful. I want you.
[All of a sudden Lucas appears.]
Lucas: Hey! Quit trying to steal my ex!
Philip: I had her first.
Lucas: Did not!
Philip: Did too.
Lucas: Did not.
Philip: Did too.
[All of a sudden, Belle appears.]
Belle: Philip, I want you. Philip, I don’t want you. Philip, I want Shawn. Philip, I want you.
Melanie: I want you just the way you are.
[All of sudden, Morgan appears.]
Morgan: Sugar, I want you ... I want you to decide who you want.
[All of a sudden, Victor appears.]
Victor: Son, you’re an idiot.
Philip: Dad, I want you to meet my new girlfriend, Joan. Joan of Arc.
Victor: That’s just great. You’re scraping the bottom of the barrel again, eh?
[All of a sudden, Philip springs up in his bed and he is alone in his room. He gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water as he mumbles, “What a mess I’ve made of my life.” He takes a towel to dry his face and sees a reflection in the mirror. One of the five women is standing behind him. He whirls around and she’s gone. All of a sudden, Philip wakes up for real.]

Philip [sitting up in his bed]: Damn, that was an intense dream. “I want you just the way you are." Ha! Wouldn’t THAT be nice.


To be continued ...