Salem's Got Talent (Read 586 times)

[Kpatch]

Titan Broadcasting Network presents ... Salem’s Got Talent!

Chapter 1


SALEM POLICE DEPARTMENT

Bo: I have some bad news, Fancy Face.
Hope: What is it?
Bo: All city officials have been asked to take a paycut.
Hope: Including you?
Bo: Yup.
Hope: I hope you said no!
Bo: I don’t have a choice, Fancy Face. Either I do it or get fired.
Hope: That’s ridiculous.
Bo: Plus, as Commissioner, I need to lead by example.
Hope: This stinks.
Bo: I know.
Hope: Well, let’s talk about it over dinner at Chez Rouge tonight.
Bo: We can’t afford to go out to dinner at places like that anymore.
Hope: Oh. Okay. Then let’s go to Blondies.
Bo: Nope.
Hope: Buddy’s Burger Barn?
Bo: Listen Hope...
Hope: The Brady Pub! Your mother usually feeds us for free.
Bo: We can’t impose on her like that.
Hope: Just how big a paycut are you taking?
Bo: We’re going to have to start eating home from now on.
Hope: Who’s cooking?


CHEZ ROUGE

Maggie: I’m so excited! Martha Skewered is coming here to Chez Rouge!
Chris (Kate’s former assistant): Yes yes yes! I’m pickled tink to be working for someone other than that beeatchy Kate.
Maggie: Martha also has a reputation like that, you know.
Chris: Oh I don’t care about that, sugar. I’ll be rubbing elbows with greatness. This is soooo exciting.
Maggie: I’m honored that NBC chose Chez Rouge as the location to film the new reality show “Who Will Be the Next Amateur Top Chef.”
Chris [clapping wildly]: I know it, I know it. It’s part of a total reality show extravaganza that includes cooking shows, talent competitions, and beautiful would-be models. With a mazillion dollar prize for each show, we should have oodles and oodles of contestants!


To be continued ...

______________________________________
Copyright © 2010 kpatch. All rights reserved.

[Kpatch]

THE JONAS APARTMENT

Daniel: Chloe, why are you crying?
Chloe: I just got my hospital bill from when I was in a coma last year.
Daniel: Let me see it. $975,000. Sounds about right. If your insurance covers 80% of it, you’ll only owe about $200,000. But your insurance plan probably has an out-of-pocket maximum, so you shouldn’t have to pay more than a few thousand dollars.
Chloe: What insurance?
Daniel: Your medical insurance.
Chloe: I don’t have any.
Daniel: You ... don’t have ... medical insurance? Are you crazy???
Chloe: Don’t yell at me! I have a pre-existing condition and the premiums were too expensive. Can you help me pay?
Daniel: Oh sure. I’ll just ... whip ... a million dollars ... out of my back pocket.
Chloe: It seems like Kate should be the one to pay.
Daniel: I agree, but ... the authorities were ... never able to ... pin the crime on her.
Chloe: What am I going to do?
Daniel: You could start ... by getting a job.


BRADY PUB

Caroline: Arianna dear, I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go.
Arianna: What? Why? I thought I was doing a bang-up job!
Caroline: Business is slow and I can’t afford to keep you on as manager anymore.
Arianna: Oh. Suppose I help out in the kitchen ... cooking or something.
Caroline: Do you know how to cook?
Arianna: No.


To be continued ...

______________________________________
Any similarity in this story to persons real or fictional, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

[Kpatch]

KIRIAKIS MANSION

Brady: Hey Ari. Come on in. Hey, what’s wrong?
Arianna: Your grandmother fired me.
Brady: My grandmother?
Arianna: Yeah, Caroline.
Brady: She’s not my grandmother.
Arianna: Dang. I still can’t get you people straight.
Brady: So you’re unemployed?
Arianna: Yes.
Brady: That’s no big deal. I can hire you on at Titan.
Arianna: As what?
Brady: I don’t know. Vice President of something or other.
Arianna: But your grandfather hates me. Victor is your grandfather, isn’t he?
Brady: He hates all women. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.


THE JONAS APARTMENT

Daniel: What’s all this?
Chloe: All what?
Daniel: This junk.
Chloe: Oh. I went to Nordstrom’s. I was depressed about my hospital bill, so I treated myself to some retail therapy. This is La Prairie moisturizer, here’s the Clarins toner, I can’t live without my Clinique cleanser, Lancome oscillating mascara is a must, Chanel blush gives me just the right glow, Calvin Klein lipstick in Honey Pot is your personal favorite, and here’s my Oscar Blandi shampoo...
Daniel: Stop.
Chloe: Stop what?
Daniel: Chloe ... you need to stop ... buying all this stuff. You owe the hospital close ... to a million dollars. You have to cut out ... spending on some of ... your luxury items.
Chloe: These aren’t luxuries. They’re necessities.
Daniel: Any luck finding a job?
Chloe: Um.
Daniel: Are you even looking?
Chloe: I can’t do anything except sing opera and none of the local opera companies are hiring.
Daniel: Okay, what else ... do you like to do?
Chloe: Watch soap operas.
Daniel: I mean, what are you passionate about? Besides me.
Chloe: Nothing.
Daniel: How about this stuff?
Chloe: You mean hair and makeup products?
Daniel: Yeah. Maybe you could be an Avon Lady.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

THE BOARDROOM AT TITAN BROADCASTING NETWORK, NBC STUDIOS SALEM AFFILIATE

Dick Dorkay, Executive Producer: We have a problem, Chris. A huge problem!
Chris: Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What ever is the matter?
Dorkay: We wanted the Salem reality show extravaganza to include Salem’s Shrinking Fatso, but there are no fat people in Salem.
Chris: Ooh ooh, I have an idea!
Dorkay: Keep it to yourself. I don’t want no stinking lackey’s ideas.
Chris: Lawdy Dick, get over yourself. I was just thinking that I could be a contestant on the Shrinking Fatso. I’d probably win because I have more weight to lose than say, Daniel or Brady or Hope.
Dorkay: No no no. That’s a stupid idea. You’re not nearly fat enough.
Chris: Oh Dick. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. I think I love you.
Dorkay: Get out!


JAVA CAFE

Sami: Aren’t you going to order anything?
Hope: I’m not hungry. Besides, I can’t afford anything.
Sami: Not even a cup of coffee?
Hope: Not according to Bo.
Sami: Wow, sorry to hear that.
Hope: Can I ask you something, Sami? How do you manage to make ends meet? I mean you have no job, no visible means of support, four children...
Sami: It’s not easy. Hey, have you seen this?
Hope: What’s that?
Sami: This ad in the Salem Spectator. They’re filming a new reality show at Chez Rouge and they’re looking for contestants.
Hope: A reality show? Like the Biggest Loser?
Sami: This is more like the Biggest Winner. They’re looking for amateur chefs. The chef who makes the best meal wins a million dollars.
Hope: Let me see that. I’m going to do it. I’m going to enter this contest.
Sami: You can’t cook.
Hope: Exactly my point. No one is more amateur than me.
Arianna comes over.
Arianna: What are you guys talking about?
Sami: We’re going to be contestants on a new reality show. Check it out.
Arianna: That sounds perfect. Count me in too!


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

FANTASTIC SALEM’S HAIR SALON

Chloe is shampooing a customer’s hair when the salon manager walks over.
Manager: You idiot! You’re doing that all wrong!
Chloe: I am?
Manager: You’re supposed to shampoo the customer’s hair face up. You’re going to drown that woman!
Customer: Gurgle gurgle.
Manager [pulling the customer’s face out of the sinkful of water.]: I am so sorry, Ms. Alamaine. Chloe, here’s a broom. Now start sweeping up all this hair from the floor. And call 911. This woman is turning blue in the face.
Chris walks into the salon and starts chatting with the receptionist when he sees Chloe.
Chris: Hello gawgeous!
Chloe: Hi Chris. It’s so nice to see a friendly face. Are you here for a haircut?
Chris: Um duh no. Sugar honey, I wouldn’t be caught dead getting my hair done in this amateur’s nightmare.
Chloe: Then why are you here?
Chris: I’m handing out these flyers. We’re looking for people to be part of the live audience for our reality shows.
Chloe: “Who Will Be the Next Amateur Top Chef?” I can answer that question -- Not me. I can’t even make toast.
Chris: There’s that one. And there’s also this one. He hands her another flyer.
Chloe: “Salem’s Next Top Runway Model.” Hmmm, I am beautiful.
Chris: And last but not least, there’s this one.
Chloe: “Salem’s Got Talent.” What’s this all about?
Chris: It’s a talent show.
Chloe: As in singing?
Chris: Singing, dancing, acting, painting, writing. Everything!
Chloe: It says here the prize is a million dollars. Is this for real?
Chris: Yes indeedy.
Chloe: You have no idea how much I could use a million dollars right now.
Chris: Ha! Who couldn’t, sugar?
Chloe: I’m going to enter this competition if it’s the last thing I do!


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL, 3rd FLOOR NURSE’S STATION

Maxine: What the heck are you doing, Miss Thang?
Stephanie: I’m just looking at myself in the mirror and making sure I’m still beautiful.
Melanie arrives.
Melanie: What’s going on?
Maxine: Miss Thang here wants to make sure she’s still the fairest in the land.
Stephanie: You make it sound like I’m vain or something.
Maxine: Oh, heaven forbid I should ever imply that! I meant to say your modesty is showing. All over the place!
Stephanie: I’m looking in the mirror because I’m a contestant on Salem’s Next Top Runway Model. Check out this flyer.
Melanie [takes the flyer]: That’s cool. I think you have a good chance of winning.
Stephanie: Thanks, Melanie. That’s really nice of you to say. Surprising, but nice. If you’ll all excuse me, I have to go to my office and primp for a while.
Maxine: If you have your own office, then why do you spend so much time in mine?
Stephanie: Hold my calls, Maxine.

Stephanie leaves as Philip gets off the elevator.
Melanie: Philip!
He smiles and kisses her.
Philip: Hey beautiful.
Melanie: What are you doing here?
Philip: I came to see if my adorable wife wants to have lunch with me. Oh I see you got a flyer. I guess Chris finished distributing them. Are you entering the competition?
Melanie: Who? Me? Ha! No.
Philip: Why not?
Melanie: Two reasons. First of all, I’m not tall enough. Second, I’m not pretty enough.
Philip: See, I hate it when you tear yourself down like that.
Melanie: Wait. I haven't told you about the third reason. Stephanie is in the running.
Philip: So?
Melanie: Come on, Philip. I can’t compete against her.
Philip: What? She can’t hold a candle to you.
Melanie: That’s sweet, but even if I did enter the contest, I can’t do that model’s walk thing and I’m not... um... as well endowed in certain aspects as some other people are.
Philip: Listen, if you want to be in the competition, I’ll help you. After all, Titan is producing the show.
Melanie: So are you gonna buy off the judges?
Philip: No. You wouldn’t need to cheat in order to win. What I meant is that I’ll help you with the walk and the poise and sh!t like that.
Melanie: I can’t wait to see that.


DIMERA MANSION

Stefano: What is wrong, shortcake? You look depressed.
Kate: Depressed? I’m way beyond depressed. I’m p!ssed.
Stefano: But why, my apple dumpling?
Kate: Chloe is entered in that Salem’s Got Talent contest.
Stefano: So what? She has no talent. She will not win.
Kate: The judges have bad taste. They just might think that screech owl is good.
Stefano: Would you like me to pay off the judges, my cream puff?
Kate: No, we need to be smarter than that. I want to do something that will rattle Chloe so badly that she’ll screw up.
Stefano: Like what, my coffee crumb cake?
Kate: Like enter the contest!
Stefano: What for? We don’t need the million dollars.
Kate: Follow my logic, my glucose-intolerant snugglepuss. We need to enter the contest so we can prevent Chloe from winning the million dollars.
Stefano: We??? What kind of hare-brained scheme have you cooked up in that pretty little blue-streaked head of yours, Lucy?
Kate: You’ll see, Ricky. Just follow my lead.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

KIRIAKIS MANSION

Philip: Melanie, there’s someone I want you to meet. This is Janice Dicks. She’s a former supermodel and longtime friend of my father. Janice, this is my wife Melanie.
Janice: What the f*** are you wearing and where are your f***ing dwarfs? Are you supposed to be f***ing Mother Goose?
Melanie: Excuse me???
Philip [whispering]: Um, Melanie, I asked Janice to help prepare you for the Next Top Runway Model contest.
Melanie [whispering]: Seriously? I’m not sure this is a good idea.
Philip [whispering]: I know she comes across as being gruff, but ...
Janice: What the f*** do you two think you’re whispering about??? I can hear you, you know!!!
Philip: As I was saying, Janice is the best.
Janice: Yes I am. I’ll f***ing whip this waif into shape in no f***ing time.
Philip: Go easy on her, Janice. Good luck, Melanie.
Melanie: Philip, wait. Don’t leave me. Where are you going?
Philip: I ... um ... I need to check my email. Um ... brush my teeth. Um ... get a haircut.
He leaves.


BRADY RESIDENCE

The doorbell rings.
Bo: I’ll get it.
Abe: Bo, have you got a minute?
Bo: Sure, man, come on in. What’s up?
Abe: There’s something I want to show you and it’s top secret.
Bo: Hang on while I activate the cone of silence. What have you got there?
Abe: It’s the new “Welcome to Salem” sign that we place at the City Limits. With the reality show extravaganza coming to Salem, our city is going to be in the limelight, so I figured we should freshen up our look.
Bo: Sounds good.
Abe: I want your honest opinion.
Bo: No problem, man. Let’s see it.
A loud noise is heard coming from the kitchen.
Abe: What the hell was that???


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

BRADY RESIDENCE

Abe: It’s the new “Welcome to Salem” sign that we place at the City Limits. With the reality show extravaganza coming to Salem, our city is going to be in the limelight, so I figured we should freshen up our look.
Bo: Sounds good.
Abe: I want your honest opinion.
Bo: No problem, man. Let’s see it.
A loud noise is heard coming from the kitchen.
Abe: What the hell was that???
Bo: Calm down, Abe. And put your gun back in its holster. Everything is fine. It’s just Hope. She’s in the kitchen cooking.
Abe: That’s not like Hope. Is she on medication?
Bo: I don’t think so. She’s rehearsing for the Who Wants to be the Next Amateur Top Chef contest.
Abe: And what’s that putrid smell?
Bo: I think it’s grilled goat cheese.
Abe: I think I’m going to puke.
Bo: You get used to it after a while. Show me the new Welcome to Salem sign.
Abe shows the sign to Bo.

******************
Welcome to Salem
Home of Alice Horton’s World-Famous Donuts
and the Donut Hole

Population 8 million
******************

Bo: Eight million??? Since when?
Abe: It’s a typo. The proofreader missed it and it would cost too much to reprint.
Bo: I guess we can kiss our “Small-Town Charm” ad campaign good-bye.
Abe: So, what do you think of the sign?
Bo: It’s fine. It’s just that...
Abe: Just what?
Bo: It looks a little primitive. Like it was done by a 5-year old.
Abe [proudly]: It was! Theo did it.
Bo: Theo?
Abe: Because of the budget cuts, we couldn’t afford to hire a consulting firm, so I let Theo run with it.
Bo: In that case, I’d say it’s great.


THE BOARDROOM AT TITAN BROADCASTING NETWORK, NBC STUDIOS SALEM AFFILIATE

Dick Dorkay is having a pre-production meeting with Philip, Maggie, and Chris the day before the reality shows begin.

Dorkay: Do we have any outstanding issues? Maggie?
Maggie: The venue is all set.
Dorkay: Chris?
Chris: Yes indeedy, D.D.! Miss Martha Skewered has everything she needs and I am here to serve her every whim. Well, almost every whim.
Dorkay: Philip? What about Titan Broadcasting Network?
Philip: Our W-T-I-T affiliate is all set. Everything is on time and under budget.
Dorkay: Budget? Budget? Budget! Funny you should mention budget. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about taking a paycut.
Philip: What? I just signed a 4-year deal in February.
Dorkay [speaking with an accent]: Oy vay. The show should only last that long, God willing.
They all make a sign of the cross on themselves.
Dorkay, Maggie, Chris, and Philip: God willing. Amen.
Dorkay: Well Philip, we may need to renegotiate.
Philip: Look, you slimy little lying troll of a man. If you so much as suggest that I take a paycut one more time, I’m going to tell my father. And my father will be very mad. And you won’t like Victor Kiriakis when he’s mad.
Dorkay [clearing his throat]: Ahem. How is your charming father? I haven’t seen him in some time.


To be continued. Tune in tomorrow for the start of the reality show extravaganza ...

[Kpatch]

CHEZ ROUGE
ONSTAGE AT WHO WANTS TO BE SALEM’S NEXT TOP AMATEUR CHEF CONTEST

Chris: Live from Salem, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the hostess with the mostess, the felonebrity who just wanted to concentrate on her salad, Miss Martha Skewered.
Martha: Thank you for that most interesting introduction, Chris, and welcome, America, to the Who Wants to be the Next Top Amateur Chef competition. We gave our amateur chefs a challenge to come up with something creative for the breakfast meal. They each have one hour to make their dish. Alton Frown from the Foodie Network will do the color commentary as the amateur chefs cook ... starting NOW!
Alton: Chef Arianna is frantically searching for a spatula. Chef Hope is having trouble getting the ketchup out of the bottle. Oops, she splattered some ketchup on Chef Sami who looks very angry. But that’s normal for her. Sami, I’m told a little carbonated water will get that stain right out. Now Chef Hope is having a hard time with the settings on her toaster oven.
Hope: I don’t think this thing is on.
Alton: Check the power supply, Chef Hope. It’s not plugged in. Meanwhile, Chef Sami is struggling to open the bag inside the frosted flakes box. She’s pulling and pulling but it won’t cooperate. This is where a scissors would come in really handy. Okay, now Chef Arianna is breaking some eggs and it looks like there’s more than a little eggshell in the bowl. The judges will deduct points for that for sure.
Arianna: What should I do?
Alton: You could try using a strainer or a spoon to fish them out. Speaking of fish, Chef Sami is adding something slimy-looking to her frosted flakes mixture.
Sami: It’s gummi worms.
Alton: Three minutes left, ladies.
Hope: Oh no, my goat cheese isn’t melting!
Arianna: My eggs aren’t setting.
Sami: Dang, I forgot the milk!
<BUZZ!>
Alton: Time is up, ladies. I’d like to turn the microphone over to Martha.
Martha: Thank you Alton. Chef Brady, please describe your dish for us.
Sami and Hope both start talking at the same time.
Sami: Um ... which Chef Brady?
Martha: Samantha Brady. Are you two related?
Hope: Only by marriage.
Martha: You’re married to each other? How very progressive of you.
Sami: I made gummiflakes. It’s frosted flakes with gummi worms. My twins love it.
Martha: Thank you Chef Brady. Now, Chef Hernandez, please describe your dish for us.
Arianna: I made a Mexican Omelet using Egg Beaters and Kroger’s store-brand jarred salsa.
Martha: I thought you used fresh eggs.
Arianna: Um, there was a little mishap, so I started over.
Martha: Thank you Chef Hernandez. Now let’s talk to the other Chef Brady -- Hope Brady. What did you come up with?
Hope: I made an English Muffinza, It’s an English Muffin pizza made with ketchup and goat cheese. I grilled it in the toaster oven, because I ruined the regular pop-up toaster with the melted cheese.
Chris: Thank you Chefs! The moment we’ve been waiting for is here. Martha, please announce the winner.
Martha: I’m sorry. I can’t in good conscience hand a million dollars to any of these amateur chefs. They’re all awful.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

CHEZ ROUGE
ONSTAGE AT WHO WANTS TO BE SALEM’S NEXT TOP AMATEUR CHEF CONTEST

Chris: Thank you Chefs! The moment we’ve been waiting for is here. Martha, please announce the winner.
Martha: I’m sorry. I can’t in good conscience hand a million dollars to any of these amateur chefs. They’re all awful.
Chris whispers something to Martha.
Martha: Oh tell Dorkay to just stuff it.
Chris whispers something else to Martha.
Martha: He can’t cancel me. My ratings are too good.
Chris whispers something else to Martha.
Martha: Really? He would rescind my stock options?
Chris nods.
Martha: I have to tell you all that this was a very difficult decision. The chefs were very creative and imaginative. So, I have decided that it’s a three-way tie. The three of you share in the million dollar prize. And that’s a wonderful thing. Congratulations.


”BACKSTAGE” AT CHEZ ROUGE
JUST BEFORE AMERICA’S NEXT TOP RUNWAY MODEL COMPETITION

Philip: Are you nervous?
Melanie: A little. Mostly because there’s something I have to tell you.
Philip: What is it? What’s wrong? Are you having unresolved feelings?
Melanie: Yes. I’m sorry Philip, but I don’t want to compete.
Philip: You mean you want to drop out?
Melanie [sheepishly]: Yes.
Philip: That’s fine.
Melanie: It is? I mean, you’re not mad?
Philip: Why would I be mad?
Melanie: Because you encouraged me to be a contestant. And you hired Janice Dicks to help me out.
Philip: I did that for you, not for me. I wanted to help boost your confidence. Besides, I thought you would win. But I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do.
Melanie: Whew, that’s a relief.
Philip: I’m kind of relieved too.
Melanie: You are? Why?
Philip: Because, if you won, you would be traveling all over the country for the next year. And I’d miss you.


ONSTAGE AT CHEZ ROUGE FOR SALEM’S NEXT TOP RUNWAY MODEL COMPETITION

Maggie: Before we announce the winner, I’d like to introduce our judges. First, we have Heidi Clue.
Heidi: Hello fans.
Maggie: Next we have Anna Dimera.
Anna: Woo hoo. Hello everyone.
Maggie: And last but not least, we have Calliope Bradford.
Calliope: Helloooooo Salem! I love you!
Maggie: Calliope, will you do the honors?
Calliope [shouting at the top of her lungs]: Salem’s Next Top Runway Model is ... Stephanie Johnson!


BACKSTAGE

Melanie: I guess we won’t be seeing Stephanie for about a year.
Live audience members: Puleez, make it 25 years!
Philip: Come on, Mel. Let’s go home.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

BACKSTAGE AT CHEZ ROUGE for SALEM’S GOT TALENT

Chloe: I appreciate you helping me rehearse, Brady.
Brady: If you don’t win, then the fix is in.
Chloe: Thanks Brady.
Brady: Are you ready?
Chloe: As I’ll ever be.
Brady: Uh oh.
Chloe: What’s wrong?
Brady: You’ll never guess who’s out there performing now.
Chloe: Let me see.
She peers out from behind the curtain.

Chris: It is with dubious pleasure that I introduce the unusual dance stylings of The Dimeras!

Readers: Please click the link to watch the Dimeras:


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

BACKSTAGE AT CHEZ ROUGE

Chloe: Oh my gosh. After seeing Kate and Stefano dancing, I’m rattled so badly that I don’t know if I can go on.
Brady: Of course you can, Chloe! You’re the best. You can win this!
Chloe: Do you really think so?
Brady: Of course. Just keep your eyes on the prize.


ONSTAGE AT CHEZ ROUGE for SALEM’S GOT TALENT

Chris: It’s my extreme pleasure to introduce the judges for Salem’s Got Talent. Join me in welcoming Josh Growbad, Michael Boob-Lay, and Kelly Clarkbar. And now, I’m pleased to introduce the next contestant, Salem’s own Chloe Lane.

Readers: Please click here to watch Chloe sing:


Josh Growbad: I’m pleased to announce that the winner of Salem’s Got Talent and the million dollar prize is ... Chloe Lane.

Chloe: I won! I won! This is so amazing. Daniel, I’ll be able to pay my hospital bill now!
Victor: I need you to endorse this check.
Chloe: Victor! What are you doing here?
Victor: I’m here as a representative of the hospital board. Go ahead and endorse the check over to Salem University Hospital.
Chloe: But you only get $975,000. The other $25,000 is mine.
Chris: You can use the $25,000 to pay a portion of the $280,000 in taxes on your prize winnings.
Victor: She’ll have to pay that out of her own pocket. The extra $25,000 will go toward her late payment fees. Sign here.


To be continued. Tune in for the epilogue...

[Kpatch]

MAYOR’S OFFICE, ONE MONTH LATER

Bo: You sounded upset on the phone. What’s up, Abe?
Abe: Here. Take this.
Bo: White Out? I don’t understand.
Abe: I got a call from Governor Ford’s office. The General Accounting Office in Washington called him to order an emergency census for the city.
Bo: Uh oh.
Abe: It seems we were allocated an unprecedented increase in federal funding based on a population of 8 million.
Bo: Sounds like trouble.
Abe: You can say that again.
Bo: But what’s the White Out for?
Abe: I’ll explain it to you on the drive to the City Limits.



The End

[fluffysmom]

A fun and humorous read!

[ghoulgirl]

Loved this story. I wish the link for Chloe's singing still worked!!