Chapter 31
Use this to follow along with the song:
CLASSROOM
Morgan was standing at the front of the room. She had already introduced herself to the students and was now writing something on the board.
MORGAN (VO, thinking): Great. My first day and I get one of the most uncomfortable subjects to teach.
Morgan turned around to face the class. Among the students were Allie, Joey, J.J., Rhiannon, Ceri, and Sydney.
MORGAN: Reproduction.
There were a few snickers around the classroom. At that moment, Max walked in.
MORGAN: Assistant Principal Brady.
MAX: Miss Hollingsworth, I just thought I'd stop by and see how everything goes.
Max sat down next to Morgan's desk.
MORGAN: Great. I was just about to begin my talk on the reproductive system of plants. All right so, the parts of a flower are so constructive that, very, very often, the wind will cause pollination. If not, then a bee or any other nectar gathering creature can create the same situation. So, anything that gets the pollen to the pistols, write on the list. I'll try to make it crystal clear. The flower's insatiable passion turns it's life into a circus of debauchery. (in a singing voice) Now you see just how the stamin gets it's lusty dust onto the stigma. And why this frenzied chlorophilist orgy starchy spring is no enigma. We call thus quest for satisfaction a what, class?
Allie raised her hand.
MORGAN: Yes?
ALLIE: A photo-periodic reaction.
MORGAN: That's good. Very good.
A boy named Tyler spoke up next.
TYLER: Okay, I'm lost. Where are we?
ALLIE: Chapter 2.
JOEY: Page five.
BOY STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
GIRL STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
MORGAN (VO, thinking): Oh god. Grease 2 flashbacks.
CAR
Philip was sitting in his car.
PHILIP: Come on, how long could this traffic jam take?
CLASSROOM
The students were now fully singing
TYLER (singing): Where does the pollen go?
MORGAN: All right, settle down everyone. Okay. Next chapter, how in an abstract way, the same thing applies to the reproductive organs of more complex lifeforms. But, we are now dealing with sexual response. Are there any questions before we begin reading?
One of the girls who dressed like a Pink Lady, whose name, coincidentally, is Rizzo, spoke up.
RIZZO (singing): Is it possible a certain assistant principal could, like, help me "study" more, and he never even knew it?
MORGAN: Negative.
CAR
Philip honked the car horn.
PHILIP: People, the light's green! Let's go!
CLASSROOM
Tyler was now out of his seat.
TYLER (singing): Where does the pollen go?
MORGAN: Tyler, please, be seated!
Tyler got into his seat.
MORGAN: The human is the only being capable of consciously controlling it's number of offspring. Are there any comments on this?
Tyler raised his hand.
MORGAN: Yes, Tyler?
TYLER: Miss Hollingsworth, is it true that women like you, you know mature and all...
MORGAN (singing): Okay, stop right there! We're not goin' any further!
CAR
Philip honked his horn again.
PHILIP: What the hell kinda turn was that? You didn't even put on your lights!
CLASSROOM
STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction!
Tyler picked up a rabbit from a nearby box
TYLER: See what happens when a boy and girl don't know how to play it safe?
BOY STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
GIRL STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
BOY STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
GIRL STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
BOY STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
GIRL STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction
STUDENTS (singing): Reproduction!
TYLER (singing): Where does the pollen go?
Max stood up and looked at every single one of the students. That shut them up. He said one word. Just one. And never before has this word been used so threateningly.
MAX: Detention.
