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Post by slyn11 on Jul 10, 2014 16:23:12 GMT -5
A/N - I'm back. Did you miss me? I missed you guys. I missed writing. My mom was really sick for a bit there but she is on the mend now...almost back to her old self...so I am very thankful and relieved. And I think that relief has freed my muse from her prison of stagnation. LOL
OK no more wasting time...here's the next chunk. I just stopped it midway because I am still editing the rest and I hate to keep you waiting any longer---some is better than none right.
Thanks for reading and continuing on this journey with me. I appreciate you guys so much.
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The cake was good he was almost sure of it, if only his tongue wasn’t dry and thick like cotton balls. The tension was thick as Philip sat across from his father at the small bistro table in the sunroom. Henderson had opted to set up their birthday breakfast in that room rather than the usual spot in the living room because party décor was still being removed and he wanted them away from the fray. It was a gesture much appreciated by his father who was enjoying the relative quiet of the space as he silently ate his own slice of cake and flipped through the newspaper. Victor Kiriakis had transformed into a veritable mute and it was driving Philip insane. As each minute passed he grew more anxious for the inevitable moment when his father would let the bomb drop and let him know the real reason he had left Maggie in Louisville to come back to Salem. Honoring their birthday tradition seemed a bit hard for Philip to believe, not that his father had missed their breakfasts together before, but all those other years their standing date had been worked into his schedule, it didn’t inconvenience the man one way or the other. This time however, his father hadn’t even been in town, he was vacationing with the woman that was starting to occupy a great deal of his free time and Philip just couldn’t imagine his father up and leaving her just for some cake and milk with his son. Victor Kiriakis just wasn’t that type of father. Yet here they were eating cake and sipping milk in goblets the way they had every year since he was six.
Maybe he should take the matter into his own hands and forced his father to engage. They could start with the weather, move on to the Bulls, and then slide into the huge elephant in the room, the photo of him with Chloe that was circulating around the internet. His father had to have heard about it by now, in fact Philip was pretty sure that was the only reason his father had come home last night. He wanted the pleasure of blasting Philip in person. So what was the hold up? His father was never one to prolong torture he was more of a go straight to the pain type man. This holding back S*** wasn’t like his dad at all and frankly it was freaking Philip out. Okay he couldn’t take it anymore he was just going to bite the bullet and bring up the photo himself.
“So I noticed you didn’t call Dmitri to come pick you up this morning,” said his father unexpectedly without looking up from his paper.
“Uh yeah,” he responded shakily feeling a little thrown by his father choosing that exact moment to end his impression of a Greek statue. “Melanie dropped me off.”
“Melanie?” his father looked up then. “Since when did she start driving?”
Philip gave his father a strange look. “Since she was about 16 I guess.”
“I meant driving again. It has been months since she got behind the wheel.”
“Oh,” was the only response he could offer.
Philip hadn’t known that Melanie didn’t drive much but thinking about their ride to the house this morning he wasn’t surprised. After she left him hanging in the hallway staring at the stairs without offering any sort of response to his question about giving their marriage another shot, Philip had decided it was a good time to cut his losses, give her some space and head out to breakfast with his dad. But before he could even pick up the phone to call Dmitri she was there with her purse and coat, announcing that they could leave once Sonny arrived to watch the baby. Ten minutes later they were in her teal blue Lexus heading toward west Salem. The speed she ushered him out of the house, not even allowing him a moment to greet Sonny, did not match her pace once they got in the car. Henderson drove faster than she did, and Philip had thought it was impossible to find anyone that was slower than him. One time back in high school, Philip had beat Henderson back from the store on his bike, by almost ten minutes, the man never went above 30 and he avoided the interstate at all costs. This morning however, Melanie made Henderson look like a contender for a Nascar race. Not only did Melanie drive slow, she also was super cautious, waiting so long at stop signs that people behind them had honked at her on more than one occasion. Philip had offered to drive thinking maybe she was groggy from their very tiring morning together, but she quickly shot down his offer, reminding him that he wasn’t cleared to drive yet. Though Philip was pretty sure even while comatose he was a better driver than she was.
“You should’ve invited her to stay,” his father said watching him.
Philip suddenly felt uneasy like his dad was waiting for him to crack. “She said she had errands and something about the hospital.”
“On your birthday?” he grumbled. “After all the things she did to keep you, she’s abandoning you on your birthday?”
“She didn’t abandon me. She’s just giving me space.” Philip covered.
In truth, he did feel a bit abandoned. He has asked her to join him at this breakfast and Melanie quickly turned him down. Maybe he had scared her off with his declarations about the future of their marriage this morning, which honestly confused Philip since the entire time he’d known her all she had wanted was their marriage to remain intact. Running away from things now that they were on the same page didn’t seem like the Melanie he had come to know. Alarms were sounding in his head but he wasn’t sure why.
“You’d think she’d be stuck to your side like glue after all the crap you’ve pulled lately.” Victor ate another forkful of cake before continuing. “Here’s a nugget of wisdom for you son. Women don’t like to share.”
“Wow I didn’t know that,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
His father was something else, giving him advice about women when he was a major reason why his love life was in hell at the moment. If the great Victor Kiriakis had just kept his nose and his opinions to himself things might be a lot better.
“Scoff all you want Philip, but I’m only trying to help you. You’re going to lose that woman permanently if you don’t watch it.”
“Melanie’s not going anywhere. Things are fine between us.” Victor eyed him skeptically from across the table. “I’m even moving back in with her,” he added hoping to erase the look from his father’s face. “I’m doing what you wanted. Nine months with my wife.”
“That’s good to hear. I’m glad you are coming around to some sense, too bad you had to defy me before arriving at that position.”
“What do you mean defy you?” Philip knew exactly what he meant but feigning ignorance had saved him in the past, and he was praying it wouldn’t fail him this time.
“I’m talking about you and the trollop holed up in a seedy motel,” Victor stated placing the newspaper he held in his hands in front of Philip and tapping the surface with an insistent finger. Philip looked down to where his father indicated to see that same picture of him and Chloe printed in the newspaper.
“Dad,” he began struggling to find the right words. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I think it’s exactly what it looks like. You were reneging on our agreement for a roll in the hay with that bats**t crazy girl.”
Anger flashed across Philip’s face at his father’s description of Chloe, but he mentally counted to three to control his temper. Getting into a shouting match with his dad would not help the situation at all.
“It was late. Lucas was tired we spent the night.”
“Try again,” his father pushing a piece of cake with his fork across his plate. “Lucas made it back to Salem safely that very same night.”
“What are you keeping tabs on me now?” Philip asked, not as surprised as he probably sounded.
“Damn straight I am,” he responded gruffly. “You’re my son and I will do anything to protect you.”
“I don’t need protection,” Philip mumbled using all of his energy to control his temper. He had to stay on his dad’s good side no matter what. “I’m living my life.”
“You need protection from your damn self,” Victor brustled, picking up the paper from the table and disappearing behind it. “Every time I leave you to your own devices you do something stupid. Screwing around with Chloe that was to be expected, you’ve always had difficulty thinking around her, but to allow yourself to be caught in such a position by the media. I raised you better than that.”
“I didn’t know anyone was there. It was a Holiday Inn in the middle of nowhere for god’s sakes.”
In all honesty he hadn’t cared who was lurking that night, finally he was alone with Chloe and he had planned to make the most of it. Come what may. Even now when everything was on the brink of falling apart, he still couldn’t bring himself to regret the decision to stay with Chloe. Some things were worth the risk. Being with her was worth the risk.
“You know trash begets trash,” Victor said from behind his wall of newsprint. “Those vultures would follow you into the sewers if they could.”
“It was a mistake that won’t happen again.”
“How many times have I heard that one?”
“I have a child and responsibilities,” Philip said defensively. “I’m a grown man. When are you going to start treating me like one?”
Victor lowered the newspaper to watch Philip while he delivered his blow. “I can’t see much difference between 17 and 29 when I look at you. Still the same careless, self-centered, screwed up Philip.”
Bullseye, same weapon he’d wielded for years.
“Wow. I guess things between us haven’t changed a bit in the years I have forgotten. You still don’t have anything good to say about me. I guess I’m still a disappointment in your eyes.”
Philip’s anger rose mostly at how his father’s insults still never failed to get to him. He should’ve been immune to them by now.
“That’s not true,” his father’s voice softened, but his face still hard as granite.
“You just called me screwed up dad, which is nothing new, you’ve been calling me that since I was in junior high.”
Fifth grade to be exact, when the headmaster called his dad to let him know that he was failing all of his classes including gym. No one seemed to notice how his decline in school directly correlated to his parents relationship once again falling apart.
“Philip...”
“I’m such an idiot,” Philip interrupted. “How could I ever have thought we could have a civilized conversation man to man? You’ll never see me as a worthwhile human being. I don’t know why I even bother with you.” He plucked his napkin from his lap and threw it on the table, before standing up and heading toward the door. “I’m out of here.”
“Philip wait,” Victor called out from the table. Philip stopped, but didn’t turn around. “You haven’t finished your cake,” his father continued, as if uneaten cake was the most pressing matter between them.
“I lost my appetite.”
“Maggie warned me about this,” said Victor letting out a heavy breath.
Philip pivoted a half turn to glimpse his father from the corner of his eye. His dad was looking dejectedly down at his plate, a posture not often assumed by the man.
“Maggie?” Philip asked, his curiosity piqued. Anything dealing with Maggie and his father was of interest to him.
“Yes Maggie. That woman is like a gnat in my ear these days, always buzzing around me with sweetly delivered criticisms.” Victor’s voice softened and Philip turned fully around to watch his dad openly. “She says I have a tendency to let my mouth run away from me when I’m upset and things come out wrong and I’m too stubborn to take anything back or to apologize.”
His dad’s words conveyed annoyance but his face revealed his true emotions, a hint of a smile on his face as he talked about Maggie Horton.
“You let her get away with saying all of that to you?” Philip asked unable to contain his surprise. Just who was this man sitting before him wearing his father’s face? Never would Victor Kiriakis allow anyone to judge his character and get away with it, especially not a woman.
Victor shrugged. “Maggie has a mind of her own. There’s nothing I can do about it. And frankly I respect her candor. It’s refreshing to be told things straight out instead of being sucked up to. And as much as I hate to admit it, she’s right about me, on many points.”
“I never thought I’d hear that, Victor Kiriakis admitting to having flaws.”
“Who said anything about flaws?” he asked his cantankerous spirit firmly back in place. “What I’m trying to say is sit down and finish your cake, all the things I said about you I didn’t really mean. I just got a little heated…”
“And your mouth ran away from you?” Philip could’ve almost laughed if he weren’t so tense.
“Yes,” Victor admitted, his words muffled as he drank from his glass. “I know you’re a grown man and I need to do better about respecting your autonomy.”
“Seriously I need to be recording this.” Philip relaxed a bit as he reluctantly returned to his chair.
“I came in last night from Louisville because I didn’t want to miss spending this time with you. It is the one thing that we managed to keep up all these years, and I’m not about to quit now, especially not after I just got you back from that coma.”
“That’s nice to hear dad. Thanks. I’ve always enjoyed our birthday mornings together too. Maybe it will be something I pass on to my son as well. Or we could get a multigenerational breakfast going, a new Kiriakis tradition.”
“Sounds a bit sappy, but I like the idea.” Victor gave a lopsided smile. “I would never turn down a chance to spend time with my grandson.”
“I had breakfast with Parker this morning,” Philip said with a big grin. “Fed him his cereal from a spoon, his first time eating it like that.”
“That’s great son. I’m glad you are getting a chance to experience all of this with the boy. We were so worried that you might never get the chance.”
“I’m thankful that I have it believe me.” He pierced a huge piece of cake with his fork and put it in his mouth chewing as he continued to speak. “In fact, I’m feeling pretty grateful for everything in my life. I’m ready to jump back in and reclaim it, like fatherhood, and working at Titan…”
“You ran Titan TV,” his father interjected, though his attention was back on his newspaper.
“So I’ve been told but that makes no sense to me. I love Titan and if I was CEO before I should have the position again.”
That particular development in his life was perhaps the most confusing. He could see himself screwing up relationships, though cheating was a stretch, but to walk away from Titan while he was in charge? Impossible.
“You gave it up to go your own way and to spend more time with your family.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking back then, but I know I can run Titan and still spend time with my family. I can definitely do it all.” The conviction coursed through his body and Philip hoped his father could feel it. He wanted his life back, all of it.
Victor looked impressed but resolute. “Perhaps you're right, but I think now you need to focus on recovery and reestablishing your life, then later we can revisit the Titan idea."
"Running Titan is not just an idea. It's my life. It's my passion, my birthright. No one is better equipped to take over than me." It was his legacy, what he was raised to do, the better part of his identity was wrapped up in Titan.
"Brady has been doing a fine job..."
"Brady!” Philip yelled. He couldn’t help it. “Brady doesn't have the killer instinct, he's too soft to make the hard choices, he's squeamish..."
"No that would be you.” Victor added, talking over Philip, his volume high but he wasn’t yelling. He was calm, eerily so. “You're the one that couldn't handle the harsh realities of our business."
"What the hell!” Philip banged his fist on the table rattling forks against plates. “I've never been soft."
"Philip you need to calm down before you hurt yourself."
"I'm perfectly fine,” he exhaled sharply, running his hand through his hair. “Please don't coddle me. You attack my manhood and expect me not to react?"
"I wasn't attacking anything Philip.” He still spoke calmly which amazed Philip all the more. “I was simply stating facts. When you ran Titan you didn't like the dirty work. You often complained whenever anything remotely untoward came up."
"I don't believe this S***. It's like you are describing a man I can hardly recognize." Worse still it was a man he barely wanted to know, if he had somehow allowed himself to become a punk in the three years he had forgotten. Every time this other version of himself was brought up, he wanted to punch something.
"I think maybe you need to get reacquainted. I had been holding onto this waiting for the right time, and I think now just might be it.” Victor reached under the table and pulled out an Ipad. “On this device is your past, everything you missed in your personal life and with Titan during the past three years. It also contains all the surveillance footage from your hospital room while you were comatose,” he said as he handed it to Philip across the table. “I want you to have it now and watch it when you're ready. Then after you've done that. We can talk."
Philip let the tablet settle in his hand. Less than one pound but it contained so much, his life was captured in this small space. "This is it huh? The answers to all the questions running through my head. Finally I won't be one step behind in my own life." And maybe he could find where he lost his balls over those missing years.
"It's a lot to take in Philip. I suggest you go slow, maybe call that doctor and get her to go over it with you."
"I fired her,” he declared with a satisfied smirk. Every time he thought of that decision he felt a rush of happiness.
"Just as well. I didn't like anyone associated with Nicole DiMera so close to my son. Get someone else then. I'm sure Daniel can recommend a competent psychiatrist."
Philip's stomach turned at the mention of Daniel Jonas, his mind immediately going to Chloe and the conversation he needed to have with her.
"Dad, I uh really need to go. I have to go speak to Chloe." Philip saw his father raise an eyebrow so he felt compelled to expound on his statement. "Chloe took me to the place where she left Parker last night, told me everything that happened."
Victor folded his hands in front of him on the table, all of his attention on Philip. "How are you after all that?"
Did he really want to get into that again? The thought of dredging up all the hurt that he finally managed to put a damper on with his dad was less than enticing, but fairly inevitable. Victor Kiriakis was a man that demanded to know about every aspect of his loved ones lives. If he didn't get the info directly from the source he would just have a P.I. dig it up. There was no keeping a secret from his father.
He took a deep breath and began. "Last night I was pretty shaken up. I can't believe she left a defenseless child in the woods like that. Do you know what she told me dad? She said that she left him there for me to find. Me? Like I could do anything for him while I was stuck in that hospital bed."
"She's out of her mind,” said Victor. “And that's putting it nicely."
That’s it? Philip was expecting more of a reaction than that. It wasn't like his dad to let an opportunity to disparage Chloe pass him by.
"I wish you had told me this before I had her released from the hospital,” he said his voice dropping along with his head. “I'm second guessing everything now."
Victor looked at him a grim expression on his face. "You were determined to get to her Philip. Nothing I could have said would have stopped you. Not even telling you that."
"How do you know? She hurt my son." Philip wanted to believe that he could be reasonable that he wasn't always ruled by his emotions, but thinking back on his life he knew that was rarely the case. Passion first, logic next were always his way.
"Look at you now. Knowing all the facts about what Chloe did, you're still willing to help her aren't you?"
"Of course I'm going to help her. She's my son's mother, she's one of my oldest friends, she's,” he faltered searching for the right word to describe Chloe and all that she meant to him. There really wasn’t one word to sum her up, he’d need many paragraphs. So he simply said, “she’s....Chloe."
"Like I said, nothing would've stopped you from your course of action. I only wanted to find a way to prevent too much damage from the fall out."
"Demanding I stay married to a woman I don't know is your idea of preventing damage? I could hurt Melanie even worse by following your directives."
If he hadn’t bent his father’s rules and told Melanie the truth about how he managed to get Chloe released, he would have been forced to spend the better part of a year lying to the face of a woman that had been nothing but good to him since he came out of the coma. Philip knew he had a ruthless side, one he often prided himself on, especially when it came to closing deals, but to use that against someone he cared about was more than he could stomach.
"No you couldn't have. You won't let Melanie get hurt," said his father, his tone leaving no opening for dispute.
But Philip being a Kiriakis through and through found a space to squeeze in his argument. “Do you even hear yourself right now? Of course your big plan to control and manipulate me is hurting Melanie. She’s in love with me.”
“I know.” Straight faced, no reaction, from the man staring at him across the table.
“She expects to have a future with me,” Philip continued with a bit more emphasis as an image of Melanie’s sad blue eyes flashed in his mind.
As much as he enjoyed the feeling of being loved by Melanie, the pure emotion that reflected in her eyes whenever she looked in his direction, there was that chaser of pain that came with it. Melanie was looking for him to keep promises he didn’t remember making. Maybe that was why she had left him hanging this morning, she knew that no matter how willing he was to give their marriage a try there was a part of him that was hesitant about thinking beyond the present. Now he could give to her, he wanted to get to know her, find out all the things that made him feel so drawn to her, but the future? That was something he still reserved for Chloe and though he tried to convince Melanie otherwise, there really was no hiding it.
“That’s what she’s been hoping for the past nine months.” Still deadpan as he took a sip of his milk.
“And knowing all of that you still had the audacity to make me use her to help Chloe? To rip her heart out in such a brutal way, to make her stay in a marriage that’s not even real with a man that can’t even…I mean I can’t even…It just makes me sick to think about what I’m doing to her. I hate it.”
Which was why ultimately he couldn’t do it. Searching for the real with Melanie was the only way he would make it through the next nine months. The voices in his mind that warned him that making things real would hurt them far worse than anything pretend were forcibly shoved to the background. Honesty was the least he could give to her, give to them all.
“Are you done?”
“Actually no,” declared Philip, pushing his almost finished cake away from him. “I’m just getting started. I want you to know that I don’t appreciate you controlling my life. My life, not yours, I don’t care if you think I am screwing up or making the wrong choices. Those are my decisions to make. Melanie is my wife, Parker is my son, and Chloe is….”
“Chloe is your what?” Victor asked leaning forward with increased interest.
His heart, his future, the mother of his child, being with her was his oldest and truest dream. His father couldn’t begin to understand the depths of his feelings for Chloe because if he did he would’ve known that he would do anything for her, including hurting Melanie. Except when Philip thought about it he really hadn’t hurt Melanie all that much, in fact he was about to go to the Towers and break Chloe’s heart instead.
“It’s none of your business who Chloe is to me,” Philip said roughly. “All you need to know is that she’s important to me and you need to respect that. I’ll take care of my family the way I see fit, and you should just butt out.”
“Since you put it like that, I guess I should keep my mouth shut on the matter,” said his father returning his attention to his newspaper with what looked like a smug smile etched on his face.
TBC
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