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Post by mae00 on Jul 22, 2024 12:58:50 GMT -5
I'm so glad to see Philip coming to this realization about all the pain that Chloe has brought to his life.
What I'm the most proud of tho is that he is actually communicating and talking about this with people and not holding it in for it to destroy him even more.
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Post by Kpatch on Jul 23, 2024 7:12:04 GMT -5
Chapter 477c
“What do you imagine your life would be like if Chloe was never in it?” Mary asked Philip.
Philip blew out some air and unfolded his arms. Tears welled in his eyes as he mulled Mary’s question. “Empty,” he rasped.
“Can you expand?”
“Chloe has filled every corner of my heart and mind for twenty years. And as much as it hurt sometimes, it also gave me purpose. Goals. She’s so much a part of who I am, Mary, of who I’ve been since I was sixteen. It’s so hard to believe she’s never going to be in my life again. I mean she didn’t die. She’s out there, but out of reach.” He laughed wryly in an attempt to cover the pain. “When Chloe left, she said she was leaving because she loves me. I told you I waited years to hear Chloe say she loves me. I never imagined she’d use those same words as a reason to leave me.”
“Do you think it’s not true?”
“No,” he answered slowly. “I think she believes she’s doing what’s best for us, but I also think she’s not in her right mind. She’s not thinking straight because she can’t reconcile the death of our baby and the fact that she believes she’s to blame even though she’s not. But she is to blame for leaving us.” He glanced at Mary. “I’m starting to sound like you, aren’t I?”
“You’re doing a good job. Keep going.”
“Okay, so I get the part where she’s struggling to survive, emotionally. What I don’t get is how she could walk out on her son. How can Parker understand any of this when I can barely understand it?”
“Do you and Parker talk about it?”
“Yes, we’ve talked about it a lot and he knows he can come to me any time if he needs to vent. I try my best to protect him, but I finally realized I can’t protect him from the truth. So I try to be as honest with him as I know how to be.”
Mary nodded. “That’s a very good thing. But let’s circle back to something you said a moment ago. You said you can’t believe she won’t be in your life again because she’s out there somewhere. It sounded like you’re saying you would like her to be back in your life.”
“Now that would be the definition of crazy, right?”
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Post by doolfan4life on Jul 23, 2024 7:36:00 GMT -5
While I think he’d like her back he knows it’s not as simple as “ok she’s back” It will be a whole other journey and a lot of work needs to be put in and I think Philip may not have the strength for that right now They might have worked through it had she not walked out but this sets them back if they ever do attempt to reconcile
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Post by André DiMera on Jul 23, 2024 7:44:18 GMT -5
It makes sense that Philip has conflicted feelings.
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Post by Kpatch on Jul 24, 2024 7:20:17 GMT -5
Chapter 477d
Mary eyed Philip. “It sounded like you’re saying you would like her to be back in your life.”
“Now that would be the definition of crazy, right?” Philip chuckled. But before Mary could remind him they don’t use the word “crazy” in her office, he continued. “I mean I just said I didn’t want her in my life. And I don’t. I can’t trust her to be in my life. To stay in my life. I can’t count on her to not break my heart.” He shook his head from side to side. “I don’t like feeling off-balance and that’s how it’d be if she came back.”
“Do you expect her to come back?” Mary asked Philip.
“No. No, I don’t,” he said adamantly. “I expect to be a single father until Parker turns 21.”
“And will you be okay with that?”
With a shrug he said, “I have to be. Um.” He rubbed his brow. “You told me you spoke to Chloe. Is she okay?” When Mary didn’t answer, Philip added, “I feel like I shouldn’t care about her, but I do. I don’t really know how not to care. I want her to be okay.”
“Of course you do.”
“So, you’re not going to answer me, huh?”
“I’ll just say that we’ve spoken.” Mary looked at her notes and then back at Philip. “Before we close, I have a note to remind myself to tell you that I haven’t received a refill request from your pharmacy in quite a while. Have you been taking your Xanax?”
He rocked his head and replied, “I guess you could say I’ve been a little non-compliant.”
“You do know the drugs don’t work properly if you don’t take them as prescribed.”
With a fake smile, he said, “Yeah, Doctor. I know. I’ll do better.”
“Don’t placate me, Philip. This is for your benefit, not mine.”
“Duly noted.”
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Post by doolfan4life on Jul 24, 2024 7:42:19 GMT -5
I don’t blame him for not trusting Chloe It’s hard to see him so back and forth on his feelings Honestly I don’t think xanex will help with his conflicted feelings, but getting them out in therapy would be very helpful to try and sort them out Jmo but he’s been doing ok with Parker and it doesn’t appear he will be jumping off a building He’s a lot more stable than he he was Also I’m not a fan of xanex or antidepressants personally so unless it’s 100% necessary I don’t feel like it’s needed I know loads will disagree so I’ll just agree to disagree before anyone says anything 😜
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Post by André DiMera on Jul 24, 2024 7:58:36 GMT -5
Totally makes sense that Philip doesn’t trust Chloe to actually be in his life.
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Post by heroicmuse on Jul 24, 2024 8:06:12 GMT -5
I think Philip needs more talk therapy and less meds. Xanax is only supposed to be for short term use and is habit forming.
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Post by mae00 on Jul 24, 2024 10:23:57 GMT -5
Sounds like Philip has been doing pretty good without the Xanax. His mind has been so full of things for a while now, it's good to see him being able to get it all out with someone. He's exploring feelings and thoughts that otherwise just get bottled up and buried among other things. I hope he continues regular sessions with Mary. Him and Parker both.
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Post by Kpatch on Jul 25, 2024 7:59:44 GMT -5
Chapter 478
Abby got into Ben’s Ford F-150 when he pulled up at the curb outside her house. Ben leaned over and kissed her. “You smell good.”
“Citrus body wash,” she told him.
He eyed her up and down and licked his lips. “I like it. Oh hey, I saw your mom at work a couple days ago.”
“At the pub?”
“Yeah, she was having lunch with a couple of old ladies. So, movie?”
Abby sighed. She and Ben always go to the movies and it’s always a Marvel superhero movie or the Men in Black franchise or something like that. They were interchangeable in Abby’s mind and she was deathly bored by them at this point. “Can we do something else for a change?”
Ben rocked his head from side to side. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything.”
“Mini golf?”
Justin had started teaching her how to play golf for real at the country club where he was a member. “I don’t want to play golf.”
“Carnival?”
The carnival reminded Abby of the time she and Justin rode the Ferris Wheel and kissed for hours and hours. “No, not the carnival,” she replied sadly.
She and Ben had been dating for a few months and she still wasn’t sure how she felt about him. He wasn’t nearly as smart or sophisticated as most of the men she’d known. He was good in bed and that was maybe the only place they connected. Mostly, he kept her from being alone but that didn’t keep her from feeling lonely. The truth was, she hadn’t gotten over Justin and a part of her believed she never would. She hated being the kind of girl who needed to always have a man in her life and sometimes thought she’d be better off alone. At the same time, she didn’t want to hurt Ben either. If she broke it off now, it would hurt him. If she waited a while, it probably wouldn’t be any easier. Maybe it would fade out on its own, as relationships sometimes do.
Ben snapped his fingers. “I’ve got an idea. I’ve got a great idea.” He put the truck in gear and peeled out.
~~~
Within a half hour, Abby was wearing goggles, a noise-canceling headset and holding a rifle. She and Ben had gotten into the gun range for free. Turns out Ben works there once in a while. It’s more like a volunteer gig, he told her, since they compensate him with ammo instead of a paycheck.
Ben stood behind her, his body pressed to hers, holding her arms in position to show her how to aim a rifle at the cutout target. “Who ever thought a gun range could be such a turn-on,” he said in her ear, his muffled voice penetrating her headset. This wasn’t exactly her idea of a fun evening, but since she offered no other suggestions, she was getting what she deserved. “Besides, it’s good for you to know how to defend yourself, just in case,” he rationalized.
“This gun is getting heavy, Ben. Can I put my arms down yet?”
“In a minute, babe,” he answered. “Next time we come, I’ll teach you how to fire a pistol. They’re not as heavy as rifles.”
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Post by André DiMera on Jul 25, 2024 8:03:00 GMT -5
Abby really shouldn’t keep stringing Ben along if she’s not interested, and she clearly isn’t. Also, love how she says “anything” and then turns down most of Ben’s suggestions.
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Post by heroicmuse on Jul 25, 2024 8:30:56 GMT -5
It's time for Abigail to end things with Ben before they go any further. She's clearly not interested. I'm not sure she should do it til they're away from the guns, though.
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Post by mae00 on Jul 25, 2024 12:47:28 GMT -5
Abigail better end this and soon. She obviously can't do anything that results in her not thinking about Justin and she's obviously not into the same things Ben is so this is just ridiculous. there is no reason to keep this relationship going and she's starting to tick me off.
She was right about one thing - she offered up no suggestions on things to do and shot down every idea that Ben had so it's her own fault. I agree with Ben that it's not a bad idea for her to know how to defend herself but she obviously doesn't care about that either.
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Post by Trey on Jul 25, 2024 12:51:50 GMT -5
I wonder if the gun range is foreshadowing something dangerous. I hope she bails soon, and moves on to find someone who can make her happy (like Justin) and wants the same things she wants.
Re: Philip - I think he's doing well without meds considering the circumstances. He's much stronger now than before. He's got clarity and while it sucks, I'm glad he's able to articulate his myriad of complicated feelings and prioritize Parker.
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Post by doolfan4life on Jul 25, 2024 16:22:32 GMT -5
Honestly I don’t feel sorry for her at all She’s being a bit of a brat No pleasing her and she doesn’t like him She also keeps comparing him to all these sophisticated men she’s been with but the truth is that Ben is more suited to her cuz she’s a class A airhead
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