Post by billiereed on Jul 16, 2019 13:47:52 GMT -5
Hello, everyone. I have been working on a fan fiction for a while now & would very much like to share it with all of you. Updates will happen once a week, on Sundays! It's a story about Jordan and Rafe (because they're one of my favorite couples!) but will also include other characters here and there, of course. The story picks up in 2015 - around the time Rafe was managing the nightclub. I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it! And now without further ado, here's the first part!
*** 4.5.2022 - New Update Schedule Announced: Updates will be once a week on Tuesdays.
Rafe moved to the window as he rocked a drowsy Arianna in his strong arms. The stars seemed so bright tonight. This was the kind of evening one shared with that special someone; the one person in all of the world they couldn’t imagine their life without…
“Oh well. At least I’ve got you, Ari,” he said, looking at his little blonde-haired niece. He noticed she had zonked out on his broad shoulder. He sighed and moved away from the window.
He walked the short distance to the nursery and gently tucked the little girl into her pink princess bed. He pulled the covers up to her chin and then making sure her nightlight was on, he edged out of the room.
He looked around for something to occupy his time but found nothing. He knew that Will and Sonny had two-hundred channels, a stack of books a mile high, and barbells in the bedroom he could use to pump some iron with, but none of that interested him. Truth was, he was restless. He had been for months now, ever since-
No, he shouldn’t think about her. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t, because he didn’t want to think about how much he missed her; or how bad he felt for wrecking their perfect relationship for a stupid, boozed up one night stand.
He found himself at the window once more, leaning against the glass, torturing himself with thoughts of how beautiful Jordan had looked that night in Salem Square when they’d danced so happily together, shaking off their every worldly care. He missed her. Damned if he didn’t miss the hell out of that beautiful, complicated woman.
He couldn’t help wondering if she was out there tonight, maybe looking up at the night sky – right at those same stars - all the way from her vantage point in New York.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t even know he had an audience until he felt a steady, comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, Rafe,” Will greeted him. “Is everything okay?”
Rafe nodded, perhaps too quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. He turned to look at Will and Sonny. “How was date night?”
“Wonderful,” Sonny said, smiling knowingly at Will. “You should have come to the club tonight, Rafe. It was a lot of fun, just dancing and drinking and eating our weight in bar peanuts.”
Rafe attempted a smile. “I am glad you two had a good time, but I’d choose spending the evening hanging out with my niece over eating stale bar peanuts any day. Besides, I see the inside of that place every day.”
Will yanked off his thin coat, draping it over the arm of the sofa. “Did Ari behave for you?”
“Doesn’t she always?” Rafe said. “We had fun. We ate our weight in peanut butter and jelly.”
Will smiled, as did Sonny. “Still, Rafe, you’re a handsome, eligible bachelor,” Sonny said, “it’s your time to be out there having fun and maybe meeting your dream girl.”
“Oh I had my dream girl and I messed that up,” Rafe said. He tried to shake off the misery percolating inside of him, but it cloaked everything he did and said.
He noticed the pointed look pass between Will and Sonny. “What?” Rafe said warily.
“Jordan. You mean Jordan,” Will said.
Rafe didn’t have to answer. They all knew who he was still crazy in love with. Rafe had loved Will’s mother so much once upon a time but he felt that it was Jordan who he truly belonged with. Hell, he knew she was The One, but now he’d never have the chance to tell her. They had split up a long time ago and though they had made peace before she left town, he believed she had also made peace by living a life he wasn’t a part of. She was over him but damned if that knowledge didn’t cut him to the quick.
Will sighed and laid a hand on Rafe’s shoulder again. “Can I ask you a question?”
“I don’t know if I will answer, but shoot.”
“Okay well… Just tell me why you haven’t gone after Jordan.”
“Because it’s over. I know it and she knows it. She was done with me the minute I went to bed with your Grandma Kate. Besides, she has a new job, a new life in New York; I can’t interrupt that.”
“What if she wanted you to come for her? Shouldn’t you at least find out if she still loves you the way you obviously do her?” Will asked. “Look, if I’ve learned anything in the past few months, it’s about the miracle of forgiveness, and how lucky I was to get that gift.” He looked at his husband knowingly and Sonny returned the smile fondly. It made Rafe feel a little better, knowing that Will and Sonny, two of his favorite people in the world, had made amends and were back on solid ground.
“Will’s right,” Sonny piped up. “I think she probably just wants you to fight for her. She knows you're sorry for what you did but now you need to make an effort to show her you haven’t given up on her and that you never will.”
“Guys, I appreciate this. I honestly do..."
“Rafe, go to New York,” Will said. “If only for a weekend. What’s the worst that can happen anyway?”
“Oh I don’t know. Jordan completely shutting me down comes to mind.”
“Isn’t that better though than always wondering ‘what if’?”
“I have to work this weekend…”
“Come on, Rafe,” Sonny said. “I know when Will and I broke up… Well, all I wanted in the world was for him to come to me and prove he loved me as much as I did him. I bet you twenty dollars that’s what Jordan wants too.”
“What’s holding you back?” Will asked. “Other than your pride.”
“Well, it’s true,” Will said. “You’re one of my best friends, Rafe. I hate to see you acting so cowardly. You deserve to be as happy as Sonny and I are. So quit stalling and go get your soulmate back. There’s this little known thing called ‘starting over’ and I think you and Jordan could certainly benefit from it.”
Rafe looked at the other men and in that moment, he knew what he was going to do – what he had wanted to do all along but was too cowardly, too proud, to do.
Hey, all. Just a quick note: I will now be adding new chapters of this story on Sundays (instead of Tuesdays). It makes sense because that's when I will update my other fan fiction, The One. Anyway, thank you for your support. It means so much to me. Here we go with the next (very short) part. I hope it turned out alright!
New York City was a long drive from Salem, but Rafe immediately launched himself into his Range Rover and started the engine before he could change his mind about the whole thing. The only thought that kept him going was the idea of being able to look into Jordan’s beautiful eyes once more. He wanted another chance to memorize her.
It was well after two a.m. when he drove past the city limits. With his GPS doing the brunt of the work, he was able to find her place easily enough. She lived in a building on thirty-seventh, a nice building too, from the looks of it.
He knew that it was very late, but he didn’t want to miss this chance to see her, even if it meant waking her up. He had considered the possibility that she was asleep, or out somewhere, maybe with someone, and the thought turned his stomach. Seeing her with Chad had been hell; seeing her with anyone else would be every bit as horrible. He wanted to be the only man in her life; the only man she needed. But he needed to prove himself to her; that much was obvious. She had let him in against her own judgment and he’d hurt her badly. He would never forgive himself for asking her to trust him and then proceeding to shatter that trust.
He knew that he didn’t deserve her, but he was just selfish enough to want her back at any cost.
He squeezed his Range Rover into the tiniest space – the only spot available on the crowded street - and then hopped out of the vehicle, pocketing his keys.
He walked up to the building and scanned the names on the peg board for hers. Locating apartment 224, he pushed down on the buzzer. “Jordan… Hey, it’s Rafe. You remember me, right?” He leaned against the wall. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see or hear from, but if you’re up there, can you please just talk to me? There’s something I need to say. I know that you have no reason to give me the time of day – or night – but I just couldn’t keep from saying what I feel any longer … You see, I’m still crazy in love with you.”
He shook his head as he considered what he'd just done. Had he really just declared his love to her intercom?
There was no sound of movement from inside of the apartment. No reply, no nothing. He sighed and looked around. A homeless man was passing by, mumbling something about President Obama. Rafe spotted a couple sequestered under a lamp across the street, locked in a tight embrace. He stared at them for a moment. He didn’t know them, of course, but still, he wished them all of the luck in the world.
Heavy-hearted, he almost started back to his car, but Will and Sonny’s words about Jordan possibly needing and wanting him to fight for her flashed into his mind. He had let her walk away before because he'd thought that was for the best; but now, well, he wasn’t going to leave until she told him to scram herself.
He settled down onto the steps in front of her building and waited.
Previews for NEXT Sunday: - Jordan and Rafe really come face to face. - Jordan is very conflicted.
Hey, everybody. I know this is definitely not my most popular fan fiction, but I honestly enjoy writing it & I recently found another chapter I had already written, and it got me excited to continue the story. Here is that chapter + more are coming soon. Updates will now be on Tuesdays. I will try very hard to be consistent with posting updates. Thank you to any readers and especially to any reviewers!! Alright, here we go:
At some point, he fell asleep against the banister, and he ended up dreaming of Jordan just like he did every night. In this dream, he was teaching a cherubic-faced girl to waltz as Jordan stood off to the side, watching and smiling with approval. This little girl was their daughter, he realized; the daughter he and Jordan were meant to have - a symbol of the life they were meant to have together.
He only awakened when he heard a voice calling his name. It was accompanied by a shake of his shoulders. He knew that voice; he knew that touch. His eyes flew open.
“Rafe, what are you doing here?” She asked. She stood before him now, a vision with her golden curls framing her face like a halo. The streetlights illuminated her brown eyes. He marveled at how beautiful she still was. His heart clenched in his chest.
She was dressed not in pajamas or a nightie, but evening clothes – a curve-hugging red dress and high heels. She had been out on the town, he realized. Looking the way she did, she was probably just getting home from a date. Maybe with some richie-rich power broker, Wall Street type Rafe could never possibly compete with.
Some of the wind went right out of his sails and he asked himself if he really had a right to come here and upend her life? Was he being incredibly selfish?
“Rafe?” Jordan pressed, pulling him from his potent thoughts.
Rafe stood a little shakily, offering her a weak smile. “Would you believe I was just in the neighborhood?”
“No,” Jordan said. She crossed her arms and rocked a bit on the heels of her stilettos. “What are you really doing here?”
“I came to see you,” Rafe said. “I - uh…” Suddenly all the words, all the declarations, the I loves yous, and the I miss yous, and the I want you backs, froze on his tongue.
Jordan peered up at him. He couldn’t read her expression. She looked guarded and unsure. They’d been in an okay place when she left town, but this must seem awfully strange to her - Rafe just showing up like this in the wee hours after several months of radio silence. Hell, now that he thought about this, it was really weird. What had he been thinking? He shouldn’t have listened to Will and Sonny’s advice. Not everyone got a second chance at forever or deserved one for that matter.
“Is something wrong? I mean, back in Salem?” Jordan asked.
Yeah, something’s wrong. You’re not there and I miss seeing you every day. I miss waking up beside you, holding your hand across the table at the Pub, dancing together in the middle of Horton Square, dropping by the hospital to steal kisses when you’re supposed to be working. I think about you all the time, I dream about you, I am a mess without you.
He said none of those things; none of the things he had come here to say; none of the things in his heart. He felt like an idiot for believing Jordan would just jump right into his arms, no questions asked.
“No,” he answered, “everything is surprisingly calm for the moment. I don’t know how long that will last though. I mean, it is Salem...”
Jordan nodded. “Well then, Rafe, are you alright?”
Oh, great. She probably thought he was insane, and maybe, just maybe, he was. “Yeah, sure. I’m peachy.” She looked so confused by all this. He was a fool. “And what about you? New York really seems to agree with you. You look great.”
“Thanks. And um, things are … good. My job is going well. Everything’s within walking distance of my apartment and I’ve met a lot of cool and interesting people here…”
“That’s nice,” Rafe said, wondering if any of those “cool and interesting” people were men. “I guess now I know all that, I can rest easy.”
“Oh? So, that's why you came all this way then - to check up on me? Maybe alleviate a little residual guilt about the past?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, don’t worry because there’s no need for any of that, Rafe. I’m doing fine. Better than fine, actually.”
Was she really doing as well as she claimed? She sounded calm and controlled, but looking into her eyes, he wasn’t entirely convinced.
“Of course, I feel guilty for the crap I pulled; for the way I hurt you. But there was more to it than that.”
Her eyes were wide and searching. “What - what do you mean?”
He gazed at her earnestly but didn't immediately reply. He almost decided not to reveal his true feelings but then told himself Rafe Hernandez was no chicken. He’d come all this way. He might as well put all his cards on the table, and let the chips fall where they may.
He took a deep, steadying breath. “The truth is, Jordan, I came here to tell you I've missed you. I’ve missed you a helluva lot. And I want a chance to make things right between us."
“Rafe, what - what did you just say?” Jordan asked. She must have heard the man wrong. This whole unbelievable moment was likely the byproduct of the sushi plate she’d consumed for dinner at her work party. She was really upstairs in her bed right now, asleep and dreaming. Any minute, she’d awaken with a start and a firm shake of her head. I will never eat sushi again if this is going to happen.
On what planet in the universe did ex-boyfriends simply materialize at one’s building in the wee hours after such a long separation, and declare they missed you and wanted to make things right? That only happened in cheesy romance novels. Not real life.
Rafe’s expression was earnest, his brown eyes full of emotion. “I said, I missed you, Jordan. I miss being with you. I know this is a lot to drop in your lap, but I had to tell you. I couldn’t keep my feelings inside anymore. They were eating me up. The truth is, I still lo-”
Jordan shot up a hand to stop him. “No, no, this can’t be happening,” she said. “I don’t understand it.” She pinched the inside of her arm and winced at the biting pain. It was not a dream, or nightmare, for that matter. She really was awake. Rafe actually was standing there underneath a streetlamp declaring his feelings for her. He had almost used “the L word” too. If she hadn’t stopped him, he would have said it, and she wasn’t at all prepared to deal with all its implications.
“You don't understand how I can feel the way I do?” Rafe asked. “C’mon, Jordan. You’re … you. You’re an amazing, beautiful, special person. I’m lucky to know you. I should have never taken you for granted.”
“Rafe, stop, just stop right now!” Jordan said. “You just can’t come here after all this time has gone by and say stuff like this. You can’t be serious! Not after everything that went down. It’s been a long time, things have changed. I’m not the same girl you remember. I’m not nearly as trusting or as vulnerable as I was before.”
“You mean, before I hurt you and abused your trust. Before I cheated on you.” He sighed. “I know I have a lot to atone for.”
Emotion clawed at Jordan’s throat. Thinking of Rafe and Kate together never got easier, even after all this time. She may have finally forgiven Rafe for his drunken one-nightstand but forgetting about it was an entirely different matter.
“It’s not that I blame you anymore, or anything like that, Rafe. I just know we can’t go back to the way things were before everything happened. You just don’t get it, do you?”
Rafe’s eyes were stormy. She could barely stand to look into the dark, swirling depths. She didn’t relish causing him pain, but his actions had cut her to the core. “Have you moved on?” He asked. “Is there someone-”
“Rafe, don’t. I am just saying I know I can’t go backwards. And showing up here in the middle of the night is ridiculous. Do you expect me to instantly say, ‘no problem’?” Jordan interrupted him.
Rafe nodded slowly. “Well, I damn sure did a bang-up job of ruining everything between me and you, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did. What’s done can’t be undone. Don’t be mad at yourself anymore. I’m not, but it’s time to let it go.” Let me go so I can let you go, she silently pleaded.
“Easier said than done.”
“It will get better with time, especially if we keep our distance from each other.”
“I’ve kept my distance from you for months, Jordan, and things haven’t gotten better. The miles between us have only made me miss you more, honestly… but if you really want me to leave the city, then I guess I'll go.”
Jordan shifted from foot to foot. “It’s for the best. I’m just not ready for any of this right now.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Rafe asked quietly.
Jordan folded her arms over her chest and stared up at the sky for a long moment. The stars were beginning to fade into the misty ether of early morning. The sun was soon to rise.
She turned back to face Rafe. “That’s what I want,” she answered. The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but she couldn’t take it back now. She wouldn’t. She had to protect her heart from another potential devastating blow. She wouldn’t survive if she lost Rafe again.
Jordan’s heart pounded painfully against her ribcage. Rafe looked so defeated she wished she could reach out and pull him into her arms. She craved to be able to tell him she’d missed him too, so, so much, in fact, but she didn’t dare.
She gestured towards her apartment building. “Um, I had better get inside.”
“Yeah, okay,” he agreed. “You … Take care of yourself, alright, Jordan?”
Jordan offered him a weak smile. “You too, Rafe, you too. Drive safely, alright?”
“Absolutely,” Rafe agreed.
She watched him slowly pivot on his booted heel and head towards the street. Stomach tied up in knots, she longed to chase after him, to ask him not to go, but she didn’t. She realized she loved him as much as ever, but protecting her fragile heart was paramount to keeping her sanity intact.
When he reached the curb, he turned to look back at her for a moment. He caught her eye and offered her a small wave. She lifted her hand and wriggled her fingers in response. “Bye, Rafe,” she whispered.
A single tear slid down her cheek as she watched him drive away, certain that she wouldn’t be seeing him again anytime soon.
So, do you really think that's the end for Jordan & Rafe?
Spoiler Alert: It’s not. (At least not in my book anyway lol) Now that Jordan knows how Rafe feels about her, she has a lot to think about & her past starts affecting her new life in New York. Meanwhile, broken-hearted Rafe returns to Salem and is almost immediately yanked headfirst into some juicy drama.