A/N: Back with the calm before the bombs hit. We had Chloe have some interesting conversations last time. Now it is Melanie's turn.
Thanks for all the comments. I love reading what you guys think about the story.
LOL
Angelatil with your Broe plugs. You should just be happy Brady made it into the story. I never could stand his judgy personality on the show. ;D
I think this is part ch5 pt 4 but I need to double check. The two Chloe conversations were actually written as one. I just divided them for easier reading. I couldn't do that with Melanie and Brady's conversation today. So it is full length.
Love to hear your thoughts on Melanie's choices in the discussion thread. The great debate between the heart and head....who hasn't been there?
myhourglass.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=authorsficchat&thread=2776&page=7#75823Beta free so please exuse my typos and of course my continued abuse of the comma. It is a style choice.
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Chapter 5 pt 4The ride from the hospital to the mansion was uneventful except for Kate’s erratic driving while talking loudly to her assistant via the Bluetooth headset clamped to her ear. There were a few times that Melanie literally had to clutch the armrest, bracing for impact. Her nerves were shot. Didn’t take much to rattle her these days, especially while in a car. She didn’t drive much anymore, once a month at the most, when she had no other options, and even then it was under extreme duress.
After the accident she didn’t even want to get inside a car. She had spent probably the first week at the hospital, never going home at all. And when the time came when she inevitably had to leave, panic started to set in. Melanie was fully prepared to walk back to Maggie’s, because there was no way she was getting in a car, let alone behind the wheel. Brady had forced her though, going on about climbing back up on the saddle. He had driven her around and around the hospital parking lot until Melanie opened her eyes and unclenched her fists. Then he had taken her home. It wasn’t until a few months later, the day Chloe had texted her 911 to come to the cabin that Melanie had driven again. No one was around and she had no other choice, so she climbed into her car and drove to the ferry. That was the first time she would come to realize that she would do anything for Parker.
Attempting to block out Kate, Melanie shut her eyes and tried to rest. The conversation she had with Daniel was stuck on repeat in her head. Her father always had a way of making her look at things from new angles, for shaking up things she always took for granted as true. He had questioned her motivations for taking care of Philip today. She had quickly dismissed his doubts assuring him that she loved Philip and was in it for the long haul if need be. Although she couldn’t help but wonder if she were being completely honest with her father or with herself. Were her feelings for Philip enough to sustain her for years? Philip could remain comatose well into the future. Was she really prepared to give up all of her own dreams to take care of him?
Her heart immediately responded yes. That was a fixed point. She didn’t want to live a life without Philip. Her head however, was a completely different matter. Her head was telling her it was insanity to shelve all of her dreams at twenty for a man she had only been married to for a few months before he had fallen ill, a man that had cheated on her and hurt her. It had always come down to these two things for Melanie, her heart versus her head. She had let her heart win out time and time again with Philip, and each time the cut was a little deeper. Maybe the smart thing would be to listen to her head for once. But her head was leading her toward a life without Philip and that was the last place she ever wanted to be.
She watched Brady get out of his car, black, something sporty. Melanie wasn’t good with cars anymore. She didn’t have to be since she no longer was looking to catch a rich man. She already had one, her prince, or more accurately her sleeping beauty.
“What are you doing out here? I thought we were meeting inside.” He had his leather coat zipped all the way up, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans.
“We’re waiting for Daniel.”
“Oh right. Is he stuck at the hospital?”
“You know my dad. Always another patient.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you’re out here in the cold. Come inside.”
“I just needed a minute. To just breathe.”
“Philip’s gonna beat this thing. Don’t you worry.” He sat down next to her on the stone bench. It was a decorative piece in the highly landscaped yard in front of the house.
“Oh Brady, I hope so. I’m really scared right now.”
“What? You? You’ve been telling us all that Philip is going to make it. Why are you switching gears now?”
“Not switching gears. Just starting to wonder if I’ve been deluding myself. It’s not like I don’t understand the medical realities of his situation.”
“Where’s this coming from? Did something happen? Is he worse?” Brady asked in alarm.
“No no. He’s holding steady right now. Started dialysis.”
“Okay so why this dark cloud on your mood?” He eyed her suspiciously.
“My dad and I had a little chat.”
Brady nodded his head in understanding. “What did he have to say this time?”
“Same spiel. No objectivity, I need to take care of myself. Go home and get some sleep.”
“I do agree about the sleep part. You look like sh*t.”
“Gee thanks,” she said blandly.
“Just saying.” He hugged her around the shoulders quickly before returning his hands back to his pockets. “You seemed to have lost your usual glow.”
“I don’t feel much like glowing. All the sleep in the world won’t change that.”
He leaned back against the brick retaining wall behind them, placing one foot up on the bench between them. “You still need to take better care of yourself. I remember when you got shot. We had to literally drag Philip out of your hospital room to get a shower and some rest. He didn’t want to leave your side for even a minute.”
“He spent a week sleeping in a chair, holding my hand. We used to joke and call it our honeymoon suite.” She smiled.
Thinking back that time of their lives was like heaven compared to now. If only they had known then what was to come. Maybe they could have braced themselves, shielded each other from the fallout.
“I think I read somewhere that holding hands for prolonged periods of times could cause them to permanently fuse together.” Melanie announced with mock seriousness.
“You must’ve read that in a comic book,” Philip teased.
“A medical journal.”
“C’mon you don’t expect me to believe that?”
“Just quoting the findings. And we have been holding hands for days now.”
“I guess we’ll just have to get stuck together because I’m not letting go of you ever again.”
“So you’re going to subject us to a life always hand in hand, like those sickening couples that make out in the middle of the mall?”
“So be it. I’m not letting go” With her hand firmly in his he got up from the chair. Philip moved in closer to her on the bed, his free hand inching its way toward her breast. “Although if we’re going to get stuck, maybe I will hold on to something better.”
She swatted at him playfully. “Philip! You’ve got such a filthy mind.”
He laughed as he returned to his seat in the chair. “I was a Marine. Besides you’re irresistible. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you.”
“I’m gross and disgusting in a hospital gown, there’s no way you can find me attractive right now.”
“Ravishing. I can hardly contain myself in this chair. I want to climb into the bed next to you.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“I only speak the truth honey. I can’t wait until you’re stronger, so I can have my way with you. But for now… hands only.” He leaned over and brushed a soft kiss over her lips, careful to avoid her tubes.
“Hey! I felt that!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Mrs. Kiriakis,” he winked.“You know I had my doubts, but seeing the two of you together during all of that. You two were the real deal.”
“It sure felt like it,” Melanie sighed. “But what if...”
“What if what? What if you two weren’t supposed to be together?”
“Yes, no, I don’t know. I just keep wondering if maybe I am holding onto something that isn’t real.”
“Oh that doesn’t sound like you at all. Daniel said that didn’t he?”
Melanie nodded. “He did. But maybe he’s right. What if I am just prolonging the inevitable? What if Philip wakes up and doesn’t want me or what if he just breaks my heart all over again? Am I being a fool here Brady?”
“I have had the distinct privilege of having a front row seat to your relationship since almost day one.”
“You were there to witness every humiliating time he rejected me for Stephanie.”
“I saw him fight an attraction to you. Everything you did drove him nuts. And you would provoke him, and he knew you were provoking him, and he still would fall right into your trap. He couldn’t help himself.”
She looked up at the sky and smiled, remembering their frequent run-ins when she worked at Titan. Melanie used to love testing how far she could push Philip until he broke. He never did though. She was the one that ultimately folded.
“We both were turned on by our little mind games, but that’s not the same as loving someone.”
“I know how much you loved him. I was there watching you when he got shot, when you helped him rescue Stephanie, when you found out he got engaged, the sex tape…”
“So I was hopeless. What’s your point Brady?”
“You never stopped loving him, through any of it. And I know you tried to get over him. Hell I encouraged you to get over him many times.”
“I never could,” she said quietly with a hint of a smile.
“You never could.”
“Again all that proves is that I’m a sucker stuck in love with a guy that has a long track record of breaking my heart.”
“So do you want to walk away now? Is that it? Is this too much for you? You can you know. The family will take good care of him.”
Her heart constricted at the thought of leaving Philip behind, of never getting to touch him or see him again. “I couldn’t walk away if I wanted to. It’s my fault we got in that accident. I can’t just forget that.”
“All of this is about guilt? That’s why you’re there day in and day out with him for months?” asked Brady.
“How can I not feel guilty? He almost died because of me.” He still could die, she added to herself unable to say those words out loud. She didn’t want to give them power, to give the words a chance to be true.
“Let me pose you a hypothetical situation. What if you hadn’t been in the car with Philip that night and Philip crashed his car on his own because he was drunk driving and ended up in a coma. Are you telling me you wouldn’t care?”
“Of course I’d care.”
“Would you not be involved in making him well?”
“I’m a nurse, so I would do what I could. But I don’t know. I was divorcing him, would it be my place to do so much for him?”
“You were divorcing him before the accident and you’re doing all this for him now. Are you telling me the only reason you care so much is because you were driving instead of him?”
Melanie ran her hand over her face in frustration. “You’re talking in circles. I’m getting confused.”
“Let me make it really simple. Would you still be taking care of Philip if you had been divorced at the time of the accident?”
“I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this at all. You hate that I still love Philip.”
“That’s not true. I’m just worried about you.”
“You literally buried your head in your hands at just the idea that I wanted to still be with him. It was just the other day.”
“I hated what Philip did to you. He was so stupid. He screwed up everything when he slept with Chloe. I gave you away at your wedding. I trusted him with your heart, even after all the crap he put you through.” Melanie could tell Brady was still upset. The mess they all had created impacted so many people, Brady included.
“I wasn’t completely innocent in it all.”
“Doesn’t matter. He destroyed your life. Then he gets in this coma and you’re doing everything for him.”
She glanced over at him. “And you don’t think I should be?”
“I wish you didn’t have to be. I look at you…dark circles under your eyes. You’re so thin.”
“Brady…” she said, resting her chin on his knee. Brady felt like the big brother she lost when Max left. She was so grateful for him in her life. Funny to think when she first moved to Salem she had nobody but Max. And now she had this whole support system including real parents and crazy in-laws.
“You are. You look like you weigh eighty pounds. You’re wasting away, just like he is and I’m scared for you. I want more for you. We all do.” He rubbed his hand over her head.
“We meaning you, Maggie, my dad, and Nathan? I know you guys talk about me behind my back.”
“It’s not like we have club meetings or anything. Just some conversations. Nathan is not usually a part of them.”
“I guess I should be thankful for small favors.”
“I was hoping things were progressing with Nathan. I was hoping he would save you.”
“I don’t need saving.”
“I wanted him to take you away, to get you to live life again.”
“How could you want me to abandon Philip? He’s your family. You were practically raised as brothers.”
“I love Philip, you know that. I also love you. You’re my family too. I don’t want to lose you both. I can’t.”
“Shipping me off with Nathan is not the answer.”
“What is then? You’ve been putting on this brave face for months, acting like the perfect devoted wife. Grandfather and the rest of the family may buy it, but I know there’s something else going on.”
“See the thing is.” She got up and walked a few feet to a square shaped hedge, picking at its leaves. “When I filed for divorce from Philip. I wasn’t really serious.”
She looked over her shoulder at Brady, who was staring at her obviously confused.
“What I mean is,” she continued. “I figured I would have more time. Philip would fight me on it, make my life hell, we’d go back and forth.”
A look of realization spread over his face. “A few slip ups in between?”
“Something like that. And then he would be out of my system and it would be done. But none of that happened because of the accident,” said Melanie as she ran her fingers through the front of her hair. “So what if I just don’t have him out of my system yet? Maybe I haven’t really forgiven him. Maybe I just want him to wake up so we can finish our little...”
“Sparring match…”
“Exactly. Maybe it is just guilt. Maybe it’s just that I need closure,” she said her words spilling out at an increasingly rapid pace. “What if I don’t really love him enough and he can feel that and I am holding back his recovery? What if…”
“You are going to drive yourself crazy with all this wondering what if,” Brady interjected. “Think about it this way. If this accident had never happened, and if Philip and Chloe had never slept together, what would you want with Philip?”
That was easy to answer. She wanted things that could never be.
“What are you thinking about over there?” asked Melanie as she leaned against the open driver side door, outside of the car, her hand intertwined with his.
“I’m picturing us in Greece under the hot sun.” He smiled. “We are on the deck of our yacht.”
“Fancy.”
“You are in a bikini. It is bright blue…matches your eyes.” His eyes lingered over her body as if he were visualizing her in the bikini instead of how she actually was, soggy in a blood stained camisole and jeans.
“Am I burning?”
“Nope. I spent thirty minutes rubbing sun block all over you.”
“That’s good.” She could almost feel his hands rubbing lotion into her skin. Philip had such strong hands.
“My hand is resting on your stomach, which is all rounded and cute.”
“I’m fat in your dream?” she asked in surprise.
“Not fat, pregnant,” he chuckled softly, too weak to muster a real laugh.
“Must have been some dream. You’re still smiling.”
“It was. Recurring,”
“So you’ve dreamt of me pregnant before?”
“Of course. I want to do that with you. Take you to Greece. Make love in the warm sunshine. Make babies.”
“How many babies are we talking here?”
“Ten.” Melanie opened her mouth in shock.
“And how many other women do you plan on having babies with?” she asked.
“Just you, and I want to make every one in Greece.”
“Sounds like you have it all planned out.” As crazy and implausible as it sounded, no way was she having ten kids, she couldn’t help but be touched he wanted a family with her.
He rubbed her hand lightly with his thumb as he held it. “I do. I want them all to have red hair and freckles.”
“I see. Do I get a say in any of this?”
“Well you are their mom.”
“I say we have two perfect babies.” She smiled over at him. He was watching her intently. “A boy and a girl.”
“Made in Greece.”
“But we reserve the right to make them in Salem too.”
“Agreed. Anything else?”
“They must have dimples.”
He smiled widely, his deep dimples on prominent display. “I’ll be sure to make that happen.”
“Philip, we shouldn’t be talking like this.”
“Why not? As far as I can see we are still on our little raft, so anything goes.”
“Even things that can never be?” Tears welled in her eyes despite her best efforts to keep things light. It hurt to talk about these dreams with him, the future they had lost.
“Especially those. Besides never say never.”“I wanted to be with him forever,” she sniffled, remembering that night always made her weepy “I wanted to have babies, a home, the whole picket fence dream I suppose.”
“And all that stuff with Nathan?”
“Oh God, I mostly wish that never happened,” Melanie said taking a seat back on the bench. “How I feel about Philip used to scare me. He had hurt me so badly. I just didn’t think I should trust him again.”
“But you married him.”
“For a part of me it was a dream come true. I have always wanted to marry him. Then this other part in my head kicks in and is like stop being stupid you know he’ll break your heart in the end, don’t let a good man like Nathan get away.”
“So you wrote Nathan a letter on your wedding day.”
She turned to look at him in surprise. “How did you know about that?”
“Philip told me,” said Brady, a confused expression playing over his face. “It was right after he overheard you and Stephanie talking about it.”
“He overheard me and Stephanie?” she asked before placing her hand over her mouth in horror.
“He never told you that?”
“He let me believe he didn’t hear anything that night. Oh my God so he knew I was holding back the truth the whole time.” It had been even worse than she thought. Philip knew about the letter before he saw the kiss. No wonder he went to Chloe. He thought she was lying to him. Everything suddenly made a sickening sort of sense.
“We had a talk. He told me he decided to trust you and trust that you wanted to have a life with him. It was a hard thing for him to do, considering his history and his parents.”
She groaned. “Then he saw me kissing Nathan.”
“Yep,” said Brady.
“Thanks a lot Brady. I feel worse than ever.” Her poor Phlip. She had hurt him so badly, he must have really thought she would leave him for Nathan. She wanted to throw up.
“I thought we were being honest here. I never said it would be easy. Can you tell me why you aren’t with Nathan now? I thought maybe things were going on there.” Melanie wanted to scream. Nathan was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Her inability to let go of Nathan is what started the whole wrecking ball going.
“I’m sure everyone did. We were just friends though. I was still married and I was honoring my vows.”
“So your vows are truly what kept you from being with Nathan?”
“I slept with Nathan,” she said slowly, the tears stinging in her eyes.
“You what? When?”
“Well almost. It was the night we found out Parker was really Philip’s baby.”
“Oh Mel.”
“I felt like such a fool. I spent all this time sitting vigil by his bed and he has a baby with another woman? I kept thinking that it was too much. And that I couldn’t do this anymore. Nathan was there at the hospital trying to comfort me. He took me back to his place, because I couldn’t go home. I didn’t want to look at Philip’s things or his pictures.”
“You acted like you were handling the news about Parker so well. Why didn’t you come to me?” Brady wrapped his arms around Melanie, pulling her to his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
“It was humiliating. I couldn’t face anyone. It was bad enough word had started to spread. I could hear the whispers. ‘Poor Melanie stuck taking care of a husband that cheated on her and had a baby with another woman. She must feel so stupid now.’ I just wanted to hide.”
“So Nathan?”
“It wasn’t like I didn’t care about him. I had feelings for him. There was an attraction. I decided to give in to it all. Why should I hold back? Philip clearly hadn’t.”
“You said you
almost slept with him. What happened?”
She stood up, unable to be so close to Brady while talking about that night. She couldn’t help but feel she had betrayed Philip. It didn’t matter that he had cheated with Chloe and conceived a child. Melanie knew Philip would be so hurt if he knew what she had almost done with Nathan.
“We were in his bed. Nathan was kissing me, telling me how much he loved me. It was all very sweet. Then I started thinking that I would give anything for this to be Philip instead of Nathan right now. After that I knew I couldn’t do it. I still wanted Philip.”
“Even knowing he was Parker’s father?”
“I was upset but it didn’t change how I felt about Philip. All it did was prove to me that Nathan wasn’t the one.”
“So why the doubts? You’re clearly in love with Philip.”
“I’m in over my head Brady,” she admitted as she turned back to face him. “I don’t know if I am making the right choices for him. I don’t know what Philip would want in terms of treatment. He doesn’t even know about Parker. What if he hates that I have him? Maybe I should’ve insisted to Victor that Chloe’s parents be allowed to take him.”
“No one can tell Victor what to do.”
“I could’ve tried. I’m just assuming Philip would feel the same way I do about all of this. He could hate me. Chloe said…”
“Chloe was upset. She wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“She could be right though. I probably have it all wrong and Philip is going to wake up and blame me for wrecking his whole life. We weren’t married that long. Chloe’s known him longer than I have, maybe she should be making the decisions.”
He got up and stood beside her. “Stop right there. Philip has told me on more than one occasion that you know him better than anyone. He used to tell me it unnerved him how much you got him, how you could see right through him. So if you think you are acting in a way that Philip would want, don’t question it.” He tilted her chin up so she would look him in the eyes. “You might be the most qualified person on the planet to speak for him.”
“You don’t agree with me about Parker though?”
“I think once Chloe gets back on her feet she will be a great mother. I trust her.”
“Well I don’t,” she said looking away.
“I know her better than you do. Being married gives you certain insights.”
“Like how Philip hates coffee and loves tea but thinks it will mess up his image to drink tea with his business associates so he hides it in a coffee cup from Java.”
He laughed. “Yes like that. It also is what lets me know that Chloe is a good person that would never willingly hurt her own child and that she is no threat to Parker.”
“She doesn’t deserve to have you on her side.”
Brady wrapped Melanie in a tight hug. “She never meant to hurt you Mel, or hurt Parker.”
“Some people are just disasters, no matter what their intention. Believe me, I know.”
“You’re not a disaster.” Melanie let go of Brady and went back to the bench, stretching out on her back. She watched the clouds move through the overcast sky.
“Philip is in a coma because of me. My dad lost his fiancé because of me. Nathan is on a Greyhound headed to Baltimore because of me. Not to mention crazy Nick and dead Trent.”
“Enough with the pity party already. Bad sh*t happens. We deal with it and move on.”
“Is that what you tell yourself at your AA meetings?” She rolled over on her side, propping her cheek on her palm. “Is that how you rationalize that Chloe got you hooked on drugs?”
“Chloe didn’t make me do anything. I became an addict all on my own.”
“If you say so, but something tells me squeaky clean Brady Black never would’ve been led down the dark path of drug addiction without the help of a blue eyed temptress.”
“Melanie,” he warned.
“And now you are wandering back down that road again. This time with Nicole DiMera at the helm. Is this how you get off? Doing bad girls?”
“This conversation is over. Let’s go inside.” He pushed her legs off the bench onto the ground and pulled her upright by her arm.
“I thought we were being honest Brady. Can’t take the tables being turned?”
“Oh I can take it. But now that you have started to jump all up in my business I can tell my work here is done. Have we chased those doubts away?”
Melanie rose to her feet. “I guess. I’m going to do what Philip did for me. I’m going to trust that I am doing what he wants.”
“Good.”
“And I’m going to trust that he will wake up and come back to me. We’re going to have that life we planned, have our second chance.”
“I hope everything works out the way you want it. You deserve some happiness. We all do.”
“Thank you Brady.” She hugged him again, her face rubbing against the cold leather of his jacket.
“Shall we go inside now? My fingers are about to fall off.”
“What do you think Victor’s up to?”
“Knowing grandfather it could be anything. Let’s just hope he hasn’t decided to marry Vivian again.”
“That would not be fun. So glad Philip wasn’t around to see that one.”
They made their way up the walkway to the front door.
“Me too. He would have flipped out. Vivian has been neutralized and grandfather got their marriage annulled, so it has to be something else.”
“Maybe we should just be happy he figured out how to use his cell phone.”
“Good point. It’s a major step for the old man.”
“He probably had Maggie teach him. She taught him how to use the kindle you know.”
“Maggie’s here?” asked Brady.
“Yes, and Bo and Justin.”
“Really? Now I’m doubly intrigued. What could be going on?”
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Next update - Meeting at the Kiriakis mansion