The Towers (Philip & Chloe) (Read 1,499 times)

[slyn11]

A reader asked me for an early Christmas gift. She wanted me to post all the Phloe flashbacks and Towers stuff in one spot, so it would be easy to get a Phloe fix. Cute. So here’s my gift to you ‘Phloe fan that doesn’t post here but is enjoying my story’, thank you for reading. And I hope other phloe fans will enjoy this little trip down memory lane as well. Even if you aren't reading the larger story I think anyone that enjoys Philip and Chloe can get into this.
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From Undertow 1:

She remembered it smelling like rain, the last time she spoke to Philip.

They were out on the balconies of their side by side rooms at the Towers hotel. Chloe in a plush white hotel bathrobe, and Philip in a black shirt, his tie discarded, top buttons undone, sleeves rolled up, one foot on the bottom railing, the hint of stubble shadowing his chin. Looking out at the Salem skyline, thinking no one down there even noticed they were not among them. It had been their little respite, their hideout from the accusations, the pointed glares, the whispers, but not the guilt, that they kept with them.

Philip insisted on renting her a room next to his own, not adjoining of course, because that wouldn't be right after what they had done. Besides alone together, feeling sad and more than a little drunk, never led to anything positive for her and Philip. So they played it safe, and kept a balcony railing between them as they drank. The mini bar was well stocked, and Philip had the means to keep it filled for the foreseeable future.

"You think anyone will notice if we just stayed here forever?" asked Chloe leaning forward over the balcony railing letting the warm evening breeze tousle her hair.

"I think my dad might have something to say about me missing work. That is if he ever starts speaking to me again,” said Philip before taking another drink.

"Sorry," she said sadly. "Have you been able to talk to Melanie?"

"I wouldn't call what Melanie and I do talking. She likes to call me over, verbally beat me down, and then send me on my way,” he laughed humorlessly.

"At least she is acknowledging that you exist. Daniel is ignoring me."

"Probably just hurts him too much to see you right now. He'll come around."

"All of this made me aware of one really sad fact,” said Chloe.

"What's that?" Philip asked turning to face her.

"I'm totally alone in this town."

"That's not true. You have friends."

"If I count Nicole, that's one. Exes don't really count as friends, and those are what I have in vast abundance." She sighed softly as she took another drink from her glass.

"I'm your ex. And your friend."

"More like partner in crime. If Daniel and Melanie knew we were staying at the same hotel -"

"I don't care if they know,” he interrupted. “We aren't doing anything wrong. We were just friends when we slept together, and we're still friends now. I'm not going to apologize for caring about you. Ok?"

"Ok.”

"Besides you’ll never have to worry about being alone. We'll always have each other."

"No matter what,” smiled Chloe.

“No matter what.” He held his glass up to her in agreement before swallowing the rest of the brown liquid.

"You better get used to having me around because I don't think Daniel will ever forgive me," said Chloe taking a sip from her mini bottle of Grey Goose. She had abandoned the glass and switched to drinking straight from the bottle.

"He'd be a fool not to," responded Philip placing his empty glass on the chair behind him. "No man wants to lose a woman as amazing as you."

"Yeah I'm amazing. I broke his heart spectacularly."

"If he has a brain in his head he won't let you go. If he does he will regret it for a long time." He reached over and grabbed her hand, a shiver ran through her momentarily at his touch. “I know I did.”

“Philip, that’s so…” she stammered trying to find the words. “Thank you.”

"Chloe Lane, you're a hard woman to get over."

He stared at her across the balcony, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb slowly as he held it. She seemed to lose herself in those blue depths for a moment, their past colliding through her mind like a film playing at high speed. Moonlit walks in the park, stealing kisses on her front porch, ice skating at the pond, and the smell of rain as he slid his fingers down her wet skin.

She drifted closer to his side of the balcony, as if pulled by his gaze. Had he always looked like this? He turned back toward the skyline. She studied his profile dropping her eyes to his collar noting the way his hair curled where it grazed his shoulder. He had let his hair grow. It made him look more rugged and just a bit dangerous. This wasn't the same boy she had loved so many years ago. Philip seemed like the only thing that was real in her life, solid. He held her up, kept her steady despite the fact he was drowning himself.

"Do you need a refill?" he asked breaking the spell. She released his hand, her head swimming.

"No," she answered hazily still caught up in him. "I think I want to go and lie down."

"You know where I am."

"Yep just right next door."

"I'm always here if you need me. Your trusty partner in crime," he chuckled.

"I know. Goodnight Philip."

"Night Chloe,” he said as he disappeared through the sliding door.

That was the last time she had seen him as he used to be, moving and full of life. She wanted her partner in crime back.

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The picture of her with Philip in formal wear caught her eye. It was from a charity benefit hosted by one of Titan’s business associates a few years back. During a time when she thought maybe she and Philip could have been something more. She rarely let herself think of those days, before Lucas and Morgan somehow swerved them off track. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“So why exactly did you need me with you tonight?” she asked as Philip spun her out onto the dance floor her long blue gown swirling about her legs.

“Every CEO needs to walk in with a beautiful chick on his arm. Impresses the board members.” He flashed his dimples as they swayed to the music.

“So you’re just using me for my looks?”

“Absolutely. Look around Chloe, all the men in the room are staring at you. They’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” She frowned in building disgust, turning away from him. He stopped her, dipping her low, before pulling her back up flush against his body. “Neither have I,” he whispered against her ear.

She pulled back, staring intently into his eyes. “Nice save Kiriakis,” she said lightening the intense mood that had fallen between them. “I almost left your ass alone on the dance floor.”

“I thought it was pretty good. Much better than I needed you here tonight because you speak fluent Italian,” he smirked twirling her away from him once again.

How did Melanie get her hands on that photo?

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Her mind went to another sleepless night at the Towers Hotel, leaning against the metal balcony bars, sipping beers under the star filled sky.

“I wish we could run away. To Tahiti. We could live in a hut,” said Chloe, eyes closed visualizing the scene.

“I somehow can’t see you roughing it,” said Philip taking another swallow of his beer.

“Ok a bungalow with indoor plumbing,” she laughed.

“Better. Would we hunt and gather our own food, live off the land?” he turned to face her, getting more into the game.

“You could catch fish with your bare hands.”

“I think I’d rather use a spear. More manly.” He rubbed the cold beer bottle across his forehead, cooling himself from the heat.

“Me in a grass skirt. You all tan. It would be paradise.”

“It does sound nice. We could be free.” He looked at her then, his eyes sparkling in the twilight. She could tell he was there with her, on that beach.

“Let’s do it,” she said excitedly. “We could run away tomorrow. What’s stopping us from escaping?”

“Forget about everyone in Salem? Just leave them all behind?” he asked, seeming a bit surprised.

“Why not? Everyone hates us anyway. We’d have each other. What more would we need?”

“You could just give up on Daniel? Forget about him just like that?”

“I don’t know,” she looked out at the darkening Salem city skyline. “Maybe. I think life under the sun with you could make almost anything bearable. As long as I have you by my side,” she said softly holding his gaze.

He smiled, dimples erupting on his face as he looked at her through the balcony bars. “Well that you got. We don’t need a beach. You got me right here.” He placed his hand over his heart. “No way you can shake me. We’re for life.”

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Her mind drifted to last summer at the Towers Hotel. Chloe often thought of their time there, it had become so special to her. For a few weeks, she hadn’t felt so alone. She knew she had at least one person always on her side. They were facing the wreckage together. If only they could have stayed there, hidden away, in safety. If he had come to her, instead of going to a bar, maybe none of this would’ve happened. Why hadn’t he trusted her to be there for him, the way he had always been there for her?

He had not even noticed her in the lobby. Walked right past her, head down, shoulders slumped, hands stuffed in his pockets. At first she thought she might leave him be, let him stew in peace. Then thought better of it. She wasn’t going to let him wallow. Too long in darkness blinds you to the light. She had heard that somewhere once. Words she had tried to live by ever since, and had succeeded, for the most part. This year had been particularly challenging for Chloe, she didn’t seem to be able to find the bright side of anything. She was starting to think she was just permanently depressed. It was as if Kate’s poison brownies were also laced with a spell, because ever since Daniel had saved her from that, her happiness had become tainted. And now it was all gone. But just because Chloe’s life was down the tubes didn’t mean Philip’s had to be. She could at least make him feel better. He had done it enough times for her in the past.

She tapped on his door, bottle of wine in hand. He looked like crap when he finally opened the door. His blue tie loosened, his jacket discarded, his hair a mess, falling into his face.

“Hey,” she said smiling shyly holding up the bottle she had in her hand. “Looks like you could use a drink.”

“I’m not good company right now Chloe.”

“I’m not company though. I’m me.”

He chuckled lightly, ran his hand through his hair, and over his face. He leaned his head against the door, just taking her in. “Chloe,” he said closing his eyes as if it hurt to complete his thought.

“Not taking no for an answer.” She slid past him though his door, grabbing his hand in hers to pull him inside with her.

He had a one bedroom suite. Living section in one room complete with sofa, loveseat, oak dining table for four, wet bar, flat panel mounted on the wall. A huge sliding glass door covered the entire wall of the room, showing off an incredible view of the city below. It wasn’t unlike her room next door, except his was much larger.

Chloe grabbed a couple of glasses from the bar and set them on the table. She started to uncork the wine. Red, a good vintage, they had assured her at the bar. Chloe just hoped it tasted good.

“Here let me get that,” Philip said taking the bottle from her hands. “Least I can do since you were thoughtful enough to bring it over.” He poured them both a glass before taking a seat opposite her at the table.

“I saw you come in. I was in the lobby.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“I figured. So things didn’t go well with Melanie?” asked Chloe as she sipped from her glass.

He laughed humorlessly before swallowing his whole glass in one gulp. “I’m going to need something stronger if we are going to go there.”

“That bad?”

“Her slamming the door in my face I can take. Pretty much par for the course for her. But when she came out after me in the driveway and told me she hated my guts... that was a bit more than I could handle.”

“She didn’t mean it Philip.”

“She called me a soulless bastard.”

“Ouch. What brought that on?”

He ran his fingertip around the rim of his empty glass. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“OK subject dropped. In fact no talk of any of our exes for the rest of the night.”

“Whatever will we have to talk about then? Seems like both our lives have been nothing but a series of break ups.” Philip got up from the table and went to the bar, took out a glass and some ice, poured himself a scotch, before sinking into the couch, letting his head rest against the wall.

Chloe had hoped they would lay off the hard liquor for the night. She had been waking up nauseous every day. She really didn’t want another hung over morning. But apparently Philip had other ideas. Chloe went over and joined him on the couch, kicking off her shoes and pulling her feet up off the floor, tucking them under the skirt of her purple dress.

“Let’s talk about something happy,” said Chloe.

“Like what?”

“Like the beach.”

“Sand in your shorts, sunburn…mosquito bites.”

“I said happy. I was thinking about that summer we spent so much time at the lake.”

Philip smiled as he remembered. “We were out there so much your hair started to lighten. Reddish brown around your face.” He reached over and ran his fingers through the front of her long dark hair, lingering briefly at the end where it curled, before letting his hand drop. He took a sip of scotch then laid his head back against the couch again.

“You taught me to swim.”

“That I did. When you finally let me. You thought I was going to let you drown.”

“It was hard trusting you. I had never let anyone in like that before.”

“I know.” He looked over at her again.

“I trust you with my life now.”

“Not a smart move if you listen to Melanie.” He placed his glass on the coffee table in front of them. “She thinks I am lying scum, without a trustworthy bone in my body.”

“Philip…”

“She pretty much thinks I’m sh*t Chloe.” Philip leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. “How am I supposed to live with that?”

“Hey, I thought we agreed. No ex talk.”

Philip sighed loudly. “Right. It’s just..it just…”

“Hurts,” she said completing his thought. “I know it does. But she’s angry and in pain right now. She doesn’t mean what she’s saying.”

“She’s got me convinced.”

“Trust me, she doesn’t mean it.”

“How do you know?” he asked turning to face her on the couch.

“Any woman that has ever gotten to know you knows what a special man you are. You are kind, loyal…”

“…a major screw up.”

“Yes that too,” she chuckled.” But we all know your heart is in the right place and we eventually forgive you.”

“I don’t think Melanie ever will. She hates me.”

“I did.”

“What?”

“I forgave you. Every time I did.”

“Not quite the same is it? I broke Melanie’s heart.”

“You broke mine too.”

“When? What are you talking about?” he asked a puzzled look on his face.

“I’m breaking my own rule here. Happy talk only.” Chloe sat up straight, put her feet on the floor and smoothed out her dress. ”So did you close any major deals at work today?”

“Stock took a dive. Next topic.”

“How’s your mom?”

“Still married to Stefano but thinks she is qualified to give me marital advice.”

“How’s Brady?”

“Do we really want to go there? The last time I spoke to him he gave me a black eye.”

“There’s got to be something good in your life, not that I can talk. I don’t have anything either.”

“You made me smile earlier. First time all day.”

“I wonder if I can do it again.”

“Please don’t start telling jokes.”

“I know my limitations and being funny is not one of my talents.”

“Luckily you have numerous others.”

“Do you remember when we used to sit out on my front porch and make up songs?”

“I used to play my guitar and you used to sing, making up lyrics off the top of your head.”

“We used to say we were going to make an album….become stars.”

“Too bad neither of us ever had a pen to write those songs down.”

“We could’ve been sitting on a platinum album.”

“Well mostly you. I just wanted to come along for the ride. Be your roadie and secret lover.”

“Definitely secret, because a chart topping recording artist such as myself could never have been seen fraternizing with the help.”

Philip looked over at her and smiled, his dimples showing. “I would’ve gladly kept it on the down low, if it meant I got to be with you every night.”

“Horny teenage boy that you were.”

“Hopelessly in love teenage boy. I would’ve done almost anything to be with you. As you know.”

“You certainly were hard to resist.”

“You seemed to manage okay to me.”

“It was a constant battle to keep my virtue around you Philip Kiriakis. You were a major threat to my virginity.”

“Really? You seemed at ease with not sleeping with me.”

“Your eyes, your smile, those dimples. You were so pretty.”

“Pretty? Take that back!”

“You know what I mean. Don’t act like you don’t know how attractive you are. Women would line up to be with you.”

“Not back then. Couldn’t even get my own girlfriend to spread her…” Philip raised his hand in defense as Chloe wacked him in the head with a throw pillow. “Ow! What? I was going to say spread her love…her love.” He laughed as she hit him again.

“Just like that you’re sixteen again.”

“What can I say? I’m a dirty boy at heart. Melanie always says…” His voice trailed off as he looked down sadly.

“We were doing so well with the happy talk.”

“I know. Refill?” Chloe shook her head, the wine already starting to give her a buzz. Philip got up and went over to the mini bar. “You know I’m kind of glad we never had sex back in high school.”

“Why’s that?” asked Chloe, watching him from her seat on the couch.

“All the crap we went through since, I would hate to have had you look back on it and regretted it. First loves should be fond memories. Don’t you think?”

“I do.”

He walked over to the glass doors, facing the sunset. “I wanted to give that to Melanie. A lifetime of fond memories. Should’ve known better. Called it a day after our first time was broadcast over the internet. Now she has another thing to add to her list of regrets.”

“I don’t think she regrets being with you.”

“She told me she does. Today in Maggie’s driveway. Her eyes were so cold, no feeling at all when she looked at me. She looked me dead in the eye and told me she wished she had never been with me. That she should’ve chosen Nathan.”

“Philip. I’m so sorry.” Chloe came up behind him at the sliding doors, wrapping her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. “This will get better. I promise you.”

He turned to look at her with red rimmed eyes. He seemed so lost. All Chloe wanted to do was pull him closer, ease his pain. In that moment, she truly hated Melanie for making him feel so low. He was breaking right before her and Chloe was at a loss how to help him. Philip shifted in her arms and pulled her into a hug. He held Chloe tightly, one hand on her back the other hand gripping the back of her neck before moving up to tangle in her hair.

He smelled like scotch, and aftershave, and something else, clean like fresh air, like that summer at the lake. Chloe ran her hands up and down his back. She could feel his muscles, hard under his white pinstripe dress shirt.

“I sat in my car and watched her cry through the living room window for over a half hour. I did that to her Chloe.” The words seemed caught in his throat as he pulled her closer, hugging her tighter. Chloe was so caught up in him, he was all over her. She stroked his hair, rubbed his arms, his back, nothing was calming him. It was killing her. “She’s right. I’m a piece of s**t,” he rasped against her ear. “How could I have hurt her like that?”

“Philip look at me.” She leaned away from him and placed both of her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her.

“You’re not a piece of s**t. You’re a good man that made a mistake. She’s just being a bitch to hurt you.”

Chloe leaned closer, drawn to his sadness, his blue eyes clouded with the hint of tears. Her hands drifted from his face to his shoulders, over the planes of his chest, her eyes settled on his mouth. She licked her lips, as her heartbeat quickened, just one more inch.

He stilled her motions on his chest, covering her hands with his own, before stepping back, putting distance between them. “I think I’m going to hit the sack.”

“Okay,” said Chloe looking down, afraid she had upset their delicate balance, crossed some unknown line. The last thing she wanted to do was make him run. She couldn’t bear it if he pulled away from her now too.

“Thank you for this though.” He gestured over toward the wine on the table. “It helped.”

Chloe gave him a small smile. “Liar.”

Philip stepped closer to her again, running his hand down her shoulder. Chloe involuntarily shivered at his touch. The wine must have affected her more than she realized.

“You helped. Without you…” He hesitated looking away out the balcony doors, at the darkening Salem sky.

“I feel the same way,” she said. He looked back down at her and smiled.

“So I’ll see you later then?”

Chloe nodded. “I’m going to go dream about that summer at the lake.”

“Swimming lessons.”

“Happy times,” she added.

“The best,” he said as he shut bedroom door behind him.

Chloe wiped the tears from her eyes with her hand. He had been such an important part of her life for so long. Some of her best memories had been with him. They had a baby and he didn’t even know it. God couldn’t be so cruel to never let Philip know his son. He had to teach Parker to swim, to play ball, to drive. Her baby couldn’t miss out on knowing him. Parker deserved a chance to have his daddy in his life. He needed him. She needed him.

Philip had to get better, because she wasn’t sure if she could go through all of this without him.

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Plopping down on the bed, Chloe blew the wisps of hair out of her face in frustration. It had been a waste of time searching for one old photo. She needed to be making to do lists or coming up with arrangements for her son. If only she knew where to start. The picture was going to provide her with inspiration, get her mind flowing in the right direction, or so she had hoped. From time to time throughout her life she could feel Philip with her in spirit, his unique brand of wisdom echoing in her ears when she needed a little boost. He was decidedly silent now, increasingly so in the last few months, as if he had been somehow weaning her off him, pulling away from her, until he could just let go.

“I feel like we’re having phone sex,” said Philip randomly in her ear.

“What? We’re talking about Mexican food.”

“I just mean on the phone, in the dark, talking to a woman with a seductive voice, it feels sort of seedy.”

“At least you didn’t ask me what I’m wearing.”

“What are you wearing? Something sexy? Is it see through?” he asked in an amused tone.

“Philip.” She was getting annoyed. He was being such a boy.

“Come on,” he pleaded. “You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

“I know what you’re wearing. Your suit from work, no jacket, no tie, top two buttons of your shirt undone. Am I right?”

“Couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Philip, it’s what you wear every day. I’m not wrong.”

“Why don’t you come see for yourself?”

“It’s raining. I’m not going out on the balcony.”

“I meant come to my room.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Promise I won’t bite,” he teased.

Chloe sighed heavily. “I think I’d be s**tty company right now.”

“You’ve been keeping me company for the past two hours.”

“Over the phone,”

“What is it? Do you have on one of those mud masks or something?”

“No it’s not that.” She hesitated, biting her lower lip as she searched her mind for an excuse.

“Are you wearing a satin teddy and you don’t want to tantalize me with your gorgeousness? What color is it?”

“I’m not describing what I’m wearing over the phone.”

“You’re no fun. I’m hanging up.”

“Fine.”

A few moments later there was a tap at her sliding door. Chloe peeked out the side of the curtain to see what it was. Philip stood on her balcony in the misting rain, in dark jeans, a green polo, no shoes.

“What are you doing out there?” she asked through the door.

“I climbed over.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Are you gonna let me in or what?” Chloe unlatched the door and pulled it open, stepping aside so Philip could enter her room. He eyed her up and down with an amused smirk.

“Not what I imagined at all.” Chloe looked down at herself. She was wearing her white sweats with the words Hollister printed in green down the leg, and a teal cami, her hair was piled on top of her head in a loose bun.

“Women don’t usually sit around in lingerie,” she said climbing back in the bed, pulling her knees to her chest. “Not all that comfortable.”

“So why didn’t you want to see me tonight? In the flesh that is. You seemed to have no trouble talking my ear off.” Philip stretched out at the foot of the bed, lounging on his side, his arm propping up his head.

Chloe smiled, kicking her bare feet in his direction. “Hey, you called me!”

“To ask if you wanted to grab dinner.”

“I said no.”

“You said no. Two hours later somehow I was still on the phone, and still hadn’t eaten.”

“Bad things happen when we’re alone together. The balcony is safe, but a hotel room…” She turned her head toward the sliding doors as her words faded on her lips.

“I’m not going to sleep with you Chloe,” he said cutting her off. “I’m not going to do that to Melanie, or to you. I’ve done enough damage.”

“I wasn’t worried about you. It’s me.” She looked at him, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear. “I tend to do impulsive stuff when I’m depressed.”

“I am pretty irresistible, but even if you threw me on the bed and straddled me, I wouldn’t let anything happen.” He grinned. “Besides there is nothing to fear. We’re friends. We’re adults. We can control ourselves. We’ve been alone together plenty of times.”

“But now we are alone together and single.”

“Not me.” He held up his hand and flashed his platinum wedding band. “Still very married.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

“Me being married? You were at the wedding.”

“I know but I kind of always think of you as perpetually available.”

“I was married to Belle too.”

“That doesn’t count. I wasn’t around during that.”

“Oh so only things you see are real?” he asked the amusement evident in his voice.

“Exactly. It’s my mind. I say what goes.”

“I should visit Chloe-land sounds like a magical place.” He smiled widely, blue eyes dancing in the low light of the room. “Are the rivers filled with chocolate milk and the flowers made of sugar?”

“Don’t be silly. We do have unicorns though.” She stretched out her legs in front of her, flexing and pointing her toes.

Philip tickled the bottom of her foot, laughing as Chloe quickly pulled them out of his reach. “You’ve seen a unicorn?”

“Of course. Haven’t you?”

“Were you smoking in here? Is that why you didn’t want me to come over? You didn’t want to share?

“You know I’d never hold out on you.”

“I’m still hungry,” he declared getting off the bed and walking toward the desk. “Room service?”

He searched the area for a menu, pausing when he spotted a copy of the Salem Gazette. Chloe cringed from her seat on the bed when she saw he had discovered it.

“Philip don’t…”

“What’s this?” he asked picking up the folded over newspaper. “The Jonas family out on the town,” he read.

“Apparently the Jonas family is into double dating. Don’t they look like the perfect pairs?”

“I don’t think Daniel is dating Carly. They are both doctors, so naturally they’d attend a hospital event.”

He walked back over to Chloe and climbed into the bed next to her, sitting up, his back against the wooden headboard.

“And Melanie with Nathan?”

“Same thing. Besides her smile is fake here,” he said pointing at the photo in the paper. “She’s not really having a good time.”

“That smile looks pretty real to me,” Chloe added skeptically.

“When Melanie smiles her eyes get all wide and bright, and all her teeth show. See here,” he tapped the photo. “Her eyes are dull and only a few teeth. She’s faking it.”

“Wow.” She looked over at him in amazement, feeling as if she had never seen him before. “You really love her.”

“All the sulking about losing her didn’t give you a clue?”

“I just mean it’s all deep and real.”

Philip looked down at his lap, a slight smile appearing on his face. “Loving Melanie has been the most real thing in my life, feels natural like breathing. Once I let her in, she filled my heart so easily and completely. I don’t think I could stop loving her if I tried. She’s a part of me now. Totally sappy right?”

“Not at all. I think it’s sweet.” She patted his shoulder reassuringly. “I am really seeing how strongly you feel about her, I guess for the first time.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you doubted us. Everyone did. I think it’s because we got married so fast.”

“Daniel and I were together longer than you two, yet you made it down the aisle first.”

He cocked his head to the side, pausing a moment in thought before he spoke. “Not everyone is as comfortable with commitment as I am. I feel like if you truly love someone you should be willing to put your heart on the line. Most guys aren’t like that. But I don’t think that means they love any less. Daniel loves you.”

“He’s not wasting any time moving on. Losing me didn’t seem to make one small dent in his social life,” Chloe said dejectedly, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“All show. Deep down I’m sure he’s hurting.”

“Way down.”

“Chloe have you been sitting here thinking about this all night?”

She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment, feeling pathetic that she let one picture get her so upset. “Yes. I didn’t want you to see the paper and I knew I wouldn’t be able to lie to your face.”

He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. “I can handle a little picture of Melanie and Nathan. It’s not like I don’t know he wants my wife.”

“Now he has a shot.” She looked over at him sadly.

“See here in the picture? She still has her rings on. Nathan hasn’t got her yet,” he said tossing the paper across the room.

“Nothing holding Daniel back. No ties to me, no commitments, my name wasn’t even on the lease.”

Putting his arm around her shoulder, Philip pulled Chloe to his side, hugging her close. “It’s in his heart. He’s tied there.”

“Melanie is such an idiot. How could she ever walk away from you?”

“I hurt her and broke her trust.”

“You’re such a special man,” she said leaning her head on his shoulder. “I wonder if she realizes what she’s losing. I’ll never understand giving you up.” Chloe could feel his cheek resting on the top of her head.

“You did. A few times,” he said quietly.

“It was twice.” Chloe sat up and looked at him filled with the sudden need to set things straight. “First time might have been the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

“Well you didn’t have to do it. Could’ve kicked Brady to the curb.”

“Maybe I should’ve.”

Their eyes locked and just for a moment Chloe felt something heady in the air, a force pulling her in, leading her closer to him. The blue of his eyes darkening as he searched her face, flitting from her eyes to her lips then back to her eyes again. Feeling uneasy about the unexpected shift between them she looked away.

“I can’t take anymore,” Philip announced, getting up further breaking the spell. “I must eat. Sure you aren’t hungry?”

“I can’t eat when I feel like this.”

He sat down at the desk across the room and flipped open the room service menu. “I’ll just get a burger.”

“No surprise there.”

“Can’t beat a thick, juicy burger,” he said picking up the phone.

“Make sure it’s well done.”

He nodded as he waited for a response on the other end of the line. “Okay.”

“And extra pickles.”

“Uh…”

”And don’t forget fries,” added Chloe.

Philip frowned placing his finger on the button to disconnect the call.

"Anything else I should add on MY burger?”

“Sorry. Just want it to taste good.”

“Since it's MY burger, why does it matter if it tastes good to you?”

“I might want a bite.”

“Oh no. This is just like high school. We’d go out, you’d say you weren’t hungry and then proceed to eat half my dinner. I’m a big guy. I need all of my food, so I’ll get you a burger too.” He shook his head smiling as he picked up the phone once again.

“Okay. Just in case.”

After ordering the food, Philip wandered over to the glass doors, opening the curtains wider, the glow of the moon illuminating the night sky. “Looks like the rain stopped. Should we risk the balcony?”

Chloe shook her head, snuggling down into the pillows, tucking her feet under the blanket that topped the bed. “I think we’re good here. Just this once.”

He smiled as he settled next to her in the bed, grabbing the remote, switching on the TV.

They had spent that night together like some sad version of a slumber party. They had watched Letterman, then a bad sci-fi movie, he had thrown fries at her, and she had beaten him at hearts, twice. She had knocked over a lamp doing a cartwheel in the middle of the room on a dare and she had laughed so hard that she spit soda all over the floor when he started telling dirty limericks he learned while in the service. He never mentioned Melanie and she never thought about Daniel. They had managed to forget, for a time.

The next morning Chloe had awakened wrapped in his arms, head on his chest, on the bed, no blanket. He was smiling in his sleep. She’d always remember that. Even in the wake of such pain, Philip still was happy in his dreams. She had the overwhelming urge to kiss him that morning, so she did, lightly on his cheek, careful not to disturb him. Their last kiss.

Chloe looked out her window in her hospital room at the golden sky fading behind the skyline, the sun soon to be replaced by the moon. Dusk would never be the same for Chloe, every sunset now reminded her of him and their time at the Towers. Those nights at the hotel would stay with her forever, memories that were solely theirs to treasure. Chloe carried it all for the both of them in the hope that one day they’d be able to look back and reminisce. But if that day never came, Chloe would still remember, she’d find a balcony somewhere and toast the setting sun in his honor. He’d always be with her, looking out into the horizon, a smile on his face.

-------------

A special place in his heart. Bo’s words resonated within Chloe. What she had been feeling about Philip all these months had been real, not just some fanciful notion from her imagination. It was their bond, strengthening because of Parker. Chloe couldn’t help but smile at the idea of that. The boy that first opened her heart would always be a part of her somehow. He wasn’t lost to fading memories or half wake dreams. Philip would be with her always, because of Parker.

Nothing would have made them anticipate this as kids, that they’d be parents together one day. Those summer nights by the lake, where her biggest concern was the struggle to control the warming desire she felt every time Philip turned his blue eyes on her, never prepared her for this future. She had wanted him to be her first, but was too scared to let herself feel that much, to let him see that much of her heart. So she held back, forcing his kisses to be enough. They never quite were though. Chloe always longed for a little more of Philip.

It was a warm night in mid July and Philip had taken her out in his boat to watch the sunset. Their tanned knees touching as they snuggled close in the boat, looking out to what felt like the ends of the earth as the sun slowly disappeared. She remembered sneaking glances over at him, only to find him staring at her. It seemed the sun didn’t hold as much allure for either of them when they had each other in such close proximity. Philip leaned in so slowly, and Chloe moistened her lips, closed her eyes anticipating the feel of his lips on hers. But it never happened. She opened her eyes to find him smiling at her, his blue eyes dancing in the fading light. Her cheeks warmed in embarrassment, they had been officially dating for months, yet she still felt so insecure around him, she still couldn’t quite figure out what he saw in her.

“Let’s go for a swim,” he said as he steered the boat to the dock.

“It’s getting dark. I don’t swim that well yet.”

“Just a little. To cool off. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

She never could say no to him when he smiled at her like that. As if just being with her was the key to all of his happiness. They stripped down to their swimsuits, which they always seemed to be wearing, their official uniform of summer, and then she let him lead her into the water.

“It feels like we’re dancing,” she said as she ran her hands down the length of his back, daring to touch him more than before in the cover of nightfall. His hands were on the small of her back, holding her close as he slowly twirled them in the water.

“If only we had music,” he said in not much more than a whisper.

“The crickets chirping, the wind rustling the trees, we don’t need music.” She smiled as she took in their wooded surroundings, relishing how peaceful it all seemed at sunset.

He was staring at her, a small smile on his face and Chloe couldn’t help but look away from the intensity in his eyes. What must he think of her? Normal girls don’t hear music in the trees. She mentally scolded herself for letting something so silly slip from her mouth.

He finally spoke, startling Chloe from her thoughts. “I’ve never known anyone like you before.”

She looked down trying to focus on the ripples in the water and not the ripples that appeared on his bare stomach whenever he breathed in or out. “I don’t really fit. I’m not like the other girls at school.”

“No you’re not.” Chloe worried her lower lip, fear starting to seep in. Maybe he finally was coming to his senses and realizing she was nothing he wanted in a girlfriend. He could be with anyone, why would he stick with someone like her? “You’re so much better than the other girls. The way you look at life, you see the beauty in everything. You make me see things, feel things…”

She leaned in and kissed him full on the lips, cutting off his words. The kiss was tentative at first, his surprise evident in the tension in his body, but he relaxed into her, easing her closer in his arms, coaxing her mouth with his tongue. Chloe ran her fingers through his usually dirty blond hair, now golden from the summer, the damp strands lush between her fingers. The warmth of his mouth, the swirl of his tongue, every cell on fire, her mind hazy from his touch. She had somehow managed to end up on the beach, looking up at the stars just starting to appear, and then he came into view. His smile brighter than anything the sky beheld, her breath caught in her throat and her pulse pounded as he inched closer, shadowing her from the world, suddenly there was only him.

Her mind inexplicably went to combustion, and her science fair project from last spring and how Philip didn’t understand it but still helped her every step of the way. Then she flashed to Philip during exams, his hair falling into his face and the way he constantly blew it out of his eyes with short bursts of his breath whenever he was really focused on a task, as if just using his hands to push his hair aside was too much of a distraction when his mind was at work. He was closer now, watching her watch him, droplets of water falling from his bangs, onto her skin. She wondered if he knew her stomach was doing flip flops each time the muscles in his arms flexed as he held himself above her. Chloe bit her lip trying to conceal any visible reaction to his closeness. Unbearable to have him hovering just beyond her reach, she needed more than a hint of the warmth his body radiated. She needed to feel the gentle burn of his skin against hers. Philip’s full body weight upon her, pressing her deeper into the sand, molding them into one, hip to hip, chest to chest, mouths open and searching. Such a beautiful mouth he had. Lips so soft, they made her always want to kiss him, to taste his sweetness, like peppermints and chocolate.

Chloe often wondered if this were an elaborate plan to seduce her and leave her so wanting that she had no choice but to give herself to him. His eyes penetrated hers, his mouth invited her, his hands made her tingle with even the slightest touch. It had to be some sort of sorcery that made her feel this way about him. The magical spell that was the subject of so many arias. Philip invaded her like a song, he made her want to stretch to reach the highest notes, to pull him into her and feel the meaning of every glance, of every touch. Every part of him made her yearn to go deeper, to get closer, to connect. Was this what love felt like? Wanting someone so much that you wished they were a part of you so you could know them in every way?

His kisses built with intensity, swallowing her air, making her dizzy. She couldn’t catch her breath but she couldn’t stop, pulling him closer, allowing him greater access to her mouth. Arching her back so his hands could clutch her waist, pull her hard against him. Chloe could hear herself moaning as his lips coursed a trail down her neck to her chest. His tongue teasing the outline of her green bikini top. It would have been so easy to hold his head to her breast and let him do what his mouth so clearly wanted, to kiss what was hidden beneath the thin damp slip of fabric. If only she could just let herself go, give in to the burning that threatened to consume her.

Philip abruptly sat up panting, running his hands through his damp hair. He extended his hand and pulled her upright to sit beside him.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he smiled. “You just looked so pretty, hair fanned out in the sand. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I felt like Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity,” she said breathily, still trying to regain her bearings after being so close to him.

“Let me guess. An old movie right?” He laughed, dimples erupting on his face.

“I know it’s not cool or anything, but I like them,” she said shyly, running her hand nervously through her wet hair. “Life just seemed better in black and white, like the feelings were somehow more honest without all the splashy special effects we have today.”

“I never thought about it like that. It makes sense though. It’s more pure right?”

“Feels that way to me.”

“My dad tells me that the best stories are the old ones, the myths. He says human emotions and desires were the most real in those stories. Sort of like old movies, I guess.”

“I think so.”

“It is amazing. My dad has been trying to make me understand that all my life and it wasn’t until I met you that I knew what he meant. You opened my eyes, to like beauty or something.” Philip leaned into her side affectionately.

“I get scared sometimes to tell you what I’m thinking. I don’t want you to think I’m completely out there.”

“I told you before. I love that you’re so different. No one else can compare. So don’t ever be afraid to be yourself with me.” He looked at her and held her gaze, his eyes focused, as if challenging her to look away, but she did. She turned to look out at the darkness of the water, anything to escape how his eyes were making her feel, hot and uncomfortable in her own skin. She felt like he was daring her to peel off layers of herself with his eyes. He was asking so much of her without words.

“Okay,” she smiled back at him shyly. “Should we head back now? It’s getting late.”

“Soon. I want you to see something.” He put his arm around her and leaned his chin on her shoulder. “Look over there.” He pointed out into the darkness of the lake.

“I don’t see anything.” Suddenly a glow appeared out on the water, illuminating the gentle waves of the lake. “That’s beautiful Philip. What is it?”

“Legend has it, a sailor fell in love with a beautiful woman from the mainland. They got married and moved out to a house on a little island on the lake. They were very happy. He would go out fishing every morning, and each night she would put a candle in the window to guide him home. Then one night a storm struck and his ship was lost. The woman waited and waited but he never came home. So every night she still lights a candle and puts it in the window hoping one day her love will return to her.”

“That’s so sad. It reminds me of Hero and Leander.”

“You know that myth?” he asked looking at her curiously.

“I read a lot in the orphanage, lots of tragic tales of lost loves. Depressing huh?”

“I’ve always liked the sad stories best.” Philip stretched out onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. “They died loving the same woman forever. Something noble about loving someone that deeply.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to find someone to love like that? Never worry they’d leave you or forget you.”

“Or dump you for the prom king?” he teased.

“Exactly. Just one love everlasting and true. Like Romeo and Juliet.” She smiled softly, thinking of the great love she had read about so often in books.

“Or Kermit and Miss Piggy,” he laughed as he looked up at the stars.

“Philip. I’m being serious.”

“So am I. You know you could have it. That great love.” He turned on his side, watching her.

“I hope so,” she said quietly, not daring to fully voice that dream.

“I could be your Leander and you could be my Hero. If you wanted.” They locked eyes as his words settled between them.

“Philip…” Chloe began, anxious to fill the silence, the butterflies in her stomach were getting unruly, as he continued to look at her with his darkening blue eyes.

“I’d swim the roughest seas to get to your shores. Spend the whole night loving you and then brave the waves again to return home.”

She settled down on her back beside him in the sand. “And I would light a candle in my tower, so you could always find your way.”

“And I’d keep coming back. As long as you’d let me.” He leaned over and brushed a kiss over her lips, murmuring gentle words as he pulled away.

“Vail'd to the ground, veiling her eyelids close;
And modestly they opened as she rose.
Thence flew Love's arrow with the golden head;
And thus Leander was enamoured.
Stone-still he stood, and evermore he gazed,
Till with the fire that from his count'nance blazed
Relenting Hero's gentle heart was strook:
Such force and virtue hath an amorous look.

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is over-rul'd by fate.
When two are stript, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should lose, the other win;
And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows, let it suffice,
What we behold is censur'd by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever lov'd, that lov'd not at first sight? “

“Philip that was so beautiful.” Her eyes blurred with tears as his words filled her. She wished she had her glasses on, so she could hide the emotions she was sure were so apparent on her face. She felt naked before him, as if he could see something deeper in her than she could see herself. Chloe wanted to look away, she tried to, but his blue eyes kept her there, holding her breath, waiting to see what he would do next.

“So what do you say my beautiful Chloe?” Philip moved in close, resting his forehead against hers, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Will you leave a light on so I can always find my way back to you?”

Noises down the hall, other prisoners causing a commotion, lured her back to the present. The lake now replaced by her dingy jail cell. She wished she could go back to the lake, where she was free and Philip was healthy. She would give anything to see Philip laughing and smiling again, hair slicked back after a swim. He could sit on the beach and tell her a story or recite her a poem, or maybe just look into her eyes and make her feel like she was someone special, someone worth knowing.

------------
Will post the next set of flashbacks later – I hope everyone enjoyed.

[slyn11]

From Undertow 2: Plane Crash flashbacks ( a little steamy)

----------------

Hands in her hair, tugging her mouth closer, his lips suddenly on hers, soft and warm, he kissed her harder giving her no other options but to open her mouth and let him kiss her fully. She moaned when his tongue swept against hers. Philip’s lips ghosted down her neck, whispering promises, until he once again kissed his way back to her lips and explored her mouth once more. Breaking for air, he pulled back looking at her, his blue eyes dark with desire.

“Philip,” She moaned his name as she felt his hands run down her back and around her torso until they reached her breasts. He stopped there, hesitating. Chloe arched her back, pressing herself into his hands, urging him to move, to do something, to stop torturing her this way. A smile spread on Philip’s face, slow and sexy, his eyes narrowing with desire.

“Do you want me Chloe?” He looked up at her as his mouth closed over her breast, teasing the peak with his tongue. Chloe sucked in her breath as shivers ran down her spine.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said as he gave her other breast the same attention. The warmth of his mouth coupled with the cold night air made her skin tingle from the contrast.

“I…” She stammered, she couldn’t catch her breath the feel of his mouth on her body as his hands slid down her hips was making her dizzy. Waves of pleasure all over her skin as he dragged his lips down her torso. His hands on her back arching her closer to grant his tongue greater access to her navel.

“I didn’t catch that. Can you repeat it?” He looked up at her and smiled before diving lower, his hair tickling her stomach as he moved lower between her thighs. Soft pecks along her inner thigh, grazing her skin with his teeth, smiling against her leg as she moaned his name.

As his tongue explored her core, Chloe writhed beneath him in pleasure, her hips lifting from the ground to make his tongue dip deeper. Unable to take anymore she ran her fingers through his hair, roughly grasping his scalp, pulling his head up so he had to look at her. His lips were red, used and swollen, his eyes in half moon slits as he peered up at her. Philip’s tongue snaked out of his mouth, moistening his lips with a deliberate swipe. She tugged his sandy brown hair urging him up, to cover her with his body. She bent her legs back, giving him room to settle fully on top of her.

The hard rippled planes of his torso, pressed against her, his hands everywhere, touching, teasing, her legs, her breasts, her back, imprinting their mark on her body. He was everywhere at once, flooding her senses, filling her with himself. She couldn’t tell where she ended and he began, they felt like one body, moving in unison, searching for a release. Chloe ran her nails down his spine, as his assault on her body with his hands and mouth continued. Fire and warmth, burning within, she felt feverish and lightheaded, she held onto his back, rolling her head from side to side unable to endure anymore she had to be closer to him, be with him completely.

“Philip…” His name was the only coherent word she could muster.

His lips skimmed a trail from her shoulder to the side of her neck, stopping briefly to nip at her earlobe.

“Tell me what you want Chloe.” He whispered in her ear. He pulled back, stilling his motions, to look her in the eyes, breathing heavily as he awaited her response.

A lazy smile across his face, he brushed a curl off her forehead and caressed her cheek softly. His eyes locked with hers, his intent unmistakable. She let her gaze fall to his lips, silently signaling him to end her torment. She squeezed her thighs around him, locking her legs behind his lower back, trapping him against her. His warmth filled her completely, as he drew her into a kiss, his tongue slowly mimicking the movement of his body.

“Chloe keep it down over there.”

“Huh?” Chloe opened her eyes groggy and disoriented.

“You’re moaning.”

“I was not.” Chloe opened her eyes wider embarrassed at what Iley must have overheard. Her dream had been intense, she still felt it all over her body, as if she actually was reliving the moment physically and not just in her mind.

“Yeah you were. Either tell me what’s going on in that dirty little mind of yours or shut the hell up.”

“Sorry, I must have been having a nightmare.” Chloe tried to cover. No way was she sharing the details of this particular dream.

“Nightmare my ass. You were having a sexy fantasy. Valentine’s Day came early for you huh?” Iley giggled, rolling on her side to face Chloe.

“Is it Valentine’s Day already?”

“It’s after midnight so yeah. The big day of love has arrived. Woo.” Iley’s ‘woo’ was lacking in enthusiasm.

“I take it you’re not a fan.”

“I am all for love and celebrating it with cheesy boxes of candy and obnoxious flower bouquets. I just don’t have a sweetheart this year, so it’s kinda hard to get excited.”

“I’m very single myself.” Chloe sighed as she turned to gaze out at the full moon. They left the curtains open, even at night. Anything to make them feel less enclosed, less trapped.

“Didn’t your ex come and see you earlier? Maybe he could be your valentine.”

“He’s ex for a reason. We’re just friends now.”

“Who was starring in your dreams? The fiancé, the ex, the baby’s daddy?” Iley sat up in her bed crossing her legs, eager to hear Chloe’s response.

“I have two exes actually.”

It would have been so much easier if she actually had been dreaming about one of her ex spouses. That at least would have made more sense than where her mind had just gone with one of her oldest friends.

“Ooo threesome!” Iley clapped her hands excitedly.

“Iley, will you quit it?”

“Sorry, but my mind is racing over here. Can you at least tell me who was in your dream?”

“Brad Pitt,” Chloe said flatly.

“Really? I guess that could be hot. I am more of a Orlando Bloom type girl. Dark curly hair and that accent. What were you and Brad doing?

“Iley.” Chloe whined. “I’m not giving you details.”

“Come on just a little something, a crumb.” She was begging, Chloe could see her eyes dancing even in the low light.

“We were outside.”

“Exhibitionism au natural. I like it.”

“No one was watching, we were alone.”

“Alone and naked?”

“Yes. But that’s all you’re getting. Go have your own fantasy.” Chloe rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling wondering what was wrong with her mind.

There was no reason for her to have had a dream like that about Philip. They hadn’t even had sex that night. They did come pretty close, but they had held onto their senses, that time. Philip was her friend, Parker’s father, and that was all. Chloe didn’t want to sleep with Philip, she didn’t even want to kiss Philip. Well maybe kiss, Philip was always so good at that. His kisses were slow and deep, intense, he made her feel like kissing her was the only thing he wanted to be doing. She always liked his focus and attention to detail. It made him an exceptionally good lover. Especially when he focused his attention to lower parts…oh no her mind went there again. Chloe’s eyes flew open as thoughts of making love to Philip began to invade her mind again.

She shook her head trying to physically get her brain on something else. Parker, her sweet baby, she missed him so much. Chloe bet he had grown even more since she had seen him a couple of weeks ago. Pretty soon he would be so big she would hardly recognize him. Parker’s cute baby dimples slowly morphed into his father’s sexy ones, as Philip came into focus in her mind once again. No matter how upset or sad Chloe got, the sight of Philip’s dimples always made her feel better. He had a smile that just made her insides flutter, even after all of these years. That was the one thing that never changed, Philip still got to her. She never lost that attraction to him. Didn’t matter if she loved someone else or if they hadn’t seen each other in years, it always remained.

Chloe looked over at Iley. Her roommate looked like she had fallen asleep, her eyes closed both hands under her pillow, a smile on her face. She wondered if Iley was off having her own hot dream, starring her own sexy valentine.

Chloe yawned as she tried to force herself back to sleep. Perhaps if she slept long enough, she could skip Valentine’s Day all together this year. Although she doubted the hospital staff would allow her to hibernate. They were too concerned about structure and control to let her do something so blatantly lazy. Her eyes closed as her mind transported her back to a cold night, under the stars, a Valentine’s Day three years before, one she thought would be her last.

“You’re trembling,” he said as he pressed his body against hers.

“So are you.”
Philip ran his hands down her bare back before pulling her flush against him. “You don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me.”

“I’m not nervous, I’m cold.”

“Right of course,” he chuckled uncomfortably. “I just thought for a minute that this might feel odd.”

“I’ve been naked with a man before.”

“Not with me,” he said softly.

“I think you are getting senile in your old age.” She teased. “You forget we’ve been naked before.”

“Not this naked. And how could I ever forget that night?”

“It was a long time ago.”

Philip’s blue eyes locked with hers. “One of the best nights of my life.”

“Best night of your life, you’re kidding right?” Chloe laughed tearing herself away from his stare. “We were wet and miserable.”

“I was alone with you. Not to mention you were in your bra. My teenage dream.”

“Oh I get it now. You decided to get all nostalgic and relive high school by trapping us here alone and naked.”

“You got me,” he grinned.

Chloe’s smile faded. “What are we going to do Philip? They might never find us out here.”

“Sure they will. The plane had to report its coordinates to air traffic control. They’ll be looking for us.”

“But it’s so cold. What if we don’t last the night?”

“Just keep holding on to me. We’ll keep each other warm.”

He wrapped his arms around her, and Chloe rested her chin on his bare shoulder, trying to draw comfort from his nearness.

“I’m not ready for it to be over. I have so many amends I need to make, so much I need to do.”

Her mind went to Brady, and her parents, and all of her dreams. Everything could be over after tonight.

“Stop thinking this is the end. We are going to survive this Chloe.”

“How can you be so sure?” she asked looking at him.

“I know I can’t die on the night that my dream came true.”

“Philip if you bring up that I am naked again I’m going to pop you,” Chloe warned.

“I wasn’t going to say that, though you know how I feel about your body.”

“Philip…” Chloe exhaled sharply, rolling her eyes.

“Ever since high school I have dreamed of a night like this, just you and me alone under the stars.”

“But we’ve done that before,” she said lowering her voice to match his suddenly more serious tone.

“Not for the whole night. I’ve always dreamed about spending the night with you. I’m not talking about sex. I am talking about being with you. Holding you close, talking all night, falling asleep in each other’s arms. I wanted us to be like that back then.”

“We did so much as kids, it’s hard to believe we never did that.”

Philip bowed his head. “Well your heart was divided. We never got to do a lot of things.”

“I’m sorry Philip.” She rubbed his back, hoping to ease some of the hurt from the old memories.

“Don’t apologize for how you feel. You loved Brady, you don’t have to be sorry for that.”

Chloe sighed heavily. “I did love Brady, a part of me always will, but it’s not the same now. And sometimes I wonder if it ever was what I thought it was.”

“How do you mean?”

“Just wonder why we didn’t last, if our love was so real, you know?”

“Being in a relationship with somebody and loving them can be two very different things. Take me and Belle, I will always love her, but I’m not with her, probably never should have been.” Philip rolled over on his back, breaking their skin to skin contact.

“Maybe we should change the subject this is getting depressing.”

“You’re just jealous of Belle.”

“I am not,” she said shocked by his statement. “I have no problem you guys were married.”

“Uh huh,” he said sounding like he didn’t believe her. “Every time I bring up Belle’s name you get this strange look on your face and you want to change the subject.’

“I’m just trying to respect your feelings, I know she is a sensitive subject for you.”

“Don’t pull that. You’re jealous admit it.” He turned back toward her grabbing her arms, shaking her slightly to urge a response.

“I’m married to Brady. I can’t be jealous.”

“I was married to Belle and jealous of Brady the whole time.”

“You were not,” said Chloe shocked.

“I was. I have never liked you were with him. I can’t help it, in my heart you’ll always be my girl.” Philip ran his fingers through her hair, as he watched her intently.

“You never said anything.”

“What would be the point, you were happy with him, you had made your choice.”

She poked his shoulder with her finger. “You’ve changed. You used to go after what you wanted.”

“I still do,” he said, catching her hand in his. “But all I ever wanted for you was your happiness.”

“Even if I was with another man.”

“Even then.” Philip brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it softly.

She looked him over suspiciously. “I’m seeing a whole other side to you tonight.”

“Maybe you’re just seeing me for the first time tonight. I don’t think you ever fully understood me.”

“Right because you were so deep back in high school,” she joked.

“I had layers baby.”

The laughter died on both their lips as Philip brushed the hair off her bare shoulders, the mood shifting as his fingertips lingered on her skin.

“I knew you were about more than met the eye back then Philip. Believe me, I saw you.”

“Too bad you didn’t like what you saw.”

“That’s not true. I loved it.” Her words caught in her throat when she saw the intensity in his blue eyes, maybe they shouldn’t be talking about such things while naked.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Feather light touches kissed her skin as his fingertips slowly glided up and down her arm. Mesmerized Chloe closed her eyes as she let the sensation consume her. His gentle fingers teased and she longed for him to stop being so delicate.

“You scared me Philip, you made me feel things I wasn’t ready for.”

“You sure were ready for them with Brady.”

“Brady is very different than you. He was safe.”

“Safe.”

“Uh huh,” she tried to think of more words to add to that sentence but she was distracted by Philip tracing slow circles on her upper arm.

“Did you think I would hurt you?”

“I knew you would. I felt too much, you had this power.”

“Funny I never felt powerful. I always felt like I wasn’t what you wanted.”

“To one part of me you were everything I wanted.”

He let out a deep breath. “Too bad the bigger part wanted Brady.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Philip snapped. “I got over it. I’m fine.”

“Okay. Let’s just drop it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Great.” Chloe tried to think of something to say to ease the tension that had crept between them. She didn’t want them to spend what could be their last night on earth, ticked off at each other.

“One thing though, if you were so into Brady back then why did you almost sleep with me that night in the stables?” Philip asked.

“I told you I cared about you both. It was two separate things.”

“Were you almost sleeping with Brady too?”

“What? No!” How could he even ask her something like that?

“I didn’t think so.”

“What’s your point?” she asked frowning.

“My point is you’re not trembling because it’s cold.”

“Yes I am, it’s frigid out here.”

“Try again.” He shifted his eyes to her mouth, as he let his hands drift to the back of her neck, to tangle in her long hair.

“Philip what are you doing?”

“I’m proving my point,” he said as he leaned in closer a breath away from her lips. Chloe shuddered in his arms, her hands clutching the muscles in his back.

“Philip” she moaned, closing her eyes, pressing herself closer to his body. Chloe’s heart started pounding in anticipation. When nothing happened her eyes snapped open, narrowing in irritation when he didn’t make any moves toward her.

“You are such a jerk you know that?”

“What’d I do?” he asked, a smirk on his face.

“You…you…you’re just you.”

“Oh my bad, would you like me to be someone else? Brady maybe?”

She slapped at his arm, completely pissed off, Philip just laughed as she landed each blow.

“I so should kick your ass.”

“Only if you promise to do it naked,” he said still laughing.

Chloe scowled. “I think I’m going to find a new tent.”

“No you’re not.”

“Just watch me. Where are my clothes?” Chloe pulled back the blankets, exposing her nude body to the cold air, to search for her discarded clothing.

“You’re not going to leave here and you know it.”

“Pretty sure of yourself. Have fun keeping warm all alone.”

Philip grabbed her arm, pulling her back against his body.

“If you don’t stay you’re going to miss it,” he said huskily against her ear.

“Miss what?” Chloe asked her voice shaking.

“This,” he whispered as he buried both his hands in her hair and covered her mouth with his.

-------------

Philip stared out the glass wall of the breezeway at the gardens below. Even in the heart of winter, the garden was rich with plant life. The hospital probably paid landscapers to keep hearty plants on display all year round. The sun was bright and through the glass it was warm, felt almost like April, instead of February. It was February 14, 2011. Philip couldn’t believe how much time had passed. It seemed like just the other night he was huddled in that tent with Chloe, celebrating Valentine’s Day in each other’s arms.

She wasn’t his Valentine then, not officially, she was still married to Brady, but as that night wore on she inched her way back into his heart. Not that she had ever fully left, but that night Chloe came out of the shadows of his heart and stepped into the forefront again. With the softness of her skin, the sweet scent of her hair, those kissable lips and those mesmerizing blue eyes, Philip had felt himself falling in love with her all over again. Could’ve been his mind just enchanted by her beauty, or his hormones going wild because she was naked in his arms, but Philip knew neither of those things was true. His heart knew what his head couldn’t yet admit. Chloe Lane was still the woman he wanted, still the woman he loved.

She was above him, her dark hair covering his face like a curtain. He wanted to smooth her hair back, so he could see her beautiful face fully, but his hands couldn't seem to find their way back from their spot on each of her breasts.

“Philip, maybe we should slow things down here. We might be getting carried away.” She rubbed his lower lip with her index finger, tracing its curve. She laughed as Philip playfully sucked her finger into his mouth, giving it a quick nibble.

“I thought that was the point. To get lost in each other, so we could forget our fears.” He strained up to kiss her again, his head lifting from the makeshift pillow of rolled up clothes.

She fell into him, her hands caressing the sides of his face, as the kiss deepened. Closing the gap between their bodies, Chloe pressed him down on his back, moaning softly as she kissed him harder, intense and forceful as if she couldn't get enough of his mouth.

Suddenly she rolled off of him, breathing hard. “Yeah, but now this is scaring me worse than the crash.”

He took a deep breath and stared up at the tent, the faint glow of stars was visible through the material. “Maybe you’re right. We wouldn’t want to do something we both regretted.”

“Right.” She rolled onto her back beside him. “I am still a married woman after all.”

“And I wouldn’t want Brady to kill me for sleeping with his wife, although since I’m probably going to die anyway, I’m finding it hard to care.” Philip looked over at her feeling her absence acutely. He didn’t want to break that contact. With just a fingertip he stroked the underside of her breast, silently hoping she wouldn’t move away.

“Brady wouldn’t kill you,” she said. Philip smiled slightly when she didn’t move his hand.

“I think he would have a hard time handling the fact we slept together.”

“I doubt he would care.” Chloe sighed. “Brady’s not really interested in what I do anymore.”

“What’s that mean?” Philip turned on his side to face her, his finger now journeying lower to trace the soft curve of her stomach.

“We just have very separate lives. I mean he even took off and left without telling me. Just proves how high I rate in his life.”

“Chloe’s what’s really going on with him?” Philip asked as he pulled her onto his chest, and then pulled the blanket up over the both of them

“It’s…It’s nothing. I mean we are having problems but you shouldn’t be concerned.”

“You’re not acting like it’s nothing, and the Austrian police were involved.” He could feel her breathing hitch and he knew he had hit a sensitive subject.

“That’s life being married to someone in the Kiriakis family, always an adventure.” She ran her hand over his chest as she spoke. “I bet if we had been the ones that ended up married it would have been the same way. You Kiriakis boys are nothing but drama.” She chuckled lightly then shifted off of him, choosing to lie on her side facing him.

“I don’t think things would have been the same if we were married.” Philip rolled over too, mirroring her position. “First difference would be I would always care about what was going on in your life. I wouldn’t have left you alone in a strange country and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted a divorce.”

“You’re just saying that because we never actually got married. Look at you and Belle…drama galore and now divorced.”

He bowed his head, suddenly feeling unable to look into her eyes. “Belle’s not you. I know if I ever was lucky enough to be with you again, I’d never let you go.”

“That’s so sweet.” She smiled. “But a complete crock. Things happen in relationships, bad, ugly things even when you start out with the best intentions.”

“I know but I wouldn’t let that happen to us.” He touched a strand of her hair, coiling the dark strands around his finger. “I feel like I’ve learned a lot since we were together, and when I was with Belle. I know what’s important now and I know how love is special and precious and needs to be treated with care so it will last.”

“That’s a beautiful thought, truly. You’re going to make some woman so happy one day.”

“For a long time now I felt like love wouldn’t be in the picture for me again.” He shook his head sadly, as he dropped his hand from her hair. “I have too much baggage, too much anger, and of course my leg. No woman wants to deal with all that.”

“That’s not true. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” She stroked his face, and smiled, her blue eyes shining even in the low light. “You’re such a good man, sweet, loving, loyal.”

“You forgot breathtakingly handsome,” he said with mock seriousness.

“I wasn’t done. You’re smart, attentive, breathtakingly handsome,” she laughed.

“Thank you. It’s nice to know one woman in the world appreciates me.” He caught her hand that had drifted from his face to his shoulder, threading his fingers with hers.

“I’m sure there’s more than one. Women are always approaching you.”

“They are only after my money and my family name. I want someone that wants me for me. A real love like Bo and Hope have, like Mr. and Mrs. Brady, like Shawn and Belle. I want that too.”

“You’ll find it Philip. I’ve got to believe you will, because maybe if you do, there’ll be hope for me too. After all this is done with Brady, maybe one day I can get some real love again.”

He could hear the emotion in her voice, and knew tears were in her eyes, even though he could not see them. Pulling her into a hug, he stroked the length of her bare back, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“You will. All you have to do is reach for it,” he said against her ear. Chloe shivered in his arms, and he instinctively held her closer fearing she might be cold.

“It’s that easy huh? Just close my eyes and wish?” she asked pushing back from him, her hand trailing down his bare chest, until she placed it under head like a pillow.

“Or open your eyes and see what’s staring you in the face.” Their eyes locked, and the night grew quiet, even the sounds of the wilderness seemed to be on mute as he lost himself in her gaze.

“I just might take your suggestion and try that Philip, but if I only see a man in green plaid suit and a porn star moustache, I’m blaming you,” she joked looking down.

“What if I promise that won’t happen?” he asked lifting her chin to get her to look at him once more.

She smiled sheepishly. “Fortune teller now?”

“Something like that.” He grinned. “If, no when, we get out of this mess, and get back to Salem, I’m going to show you real love exists. All you have to do is promise me that you’ll grab it when you see it.”

Chloe eyed him skeptically, before responding. “You’ve got a deal. I’ll let you be my love guru and let you show me the way.”

“Good.”

“Now I’ve got a proposition for you,” she said rubbing his upper arm.

“Proposition. I love that word!”

“Get your mind out the gutter.” She chuckled. “I’m talking about love here.”

“What about it?” he asked his voice cracking a little as he felt her hand move lower on his body beneath the blanket.

“I will let you be my love guru when we get back to Salem but in exchange you have to let me show you that all this damage you think you have, that you think makes you unattractive to women, is all in your head. I’m going to show you that someone will want you and love you, just the way you are.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “I have to tell you though, you’re in for a hell of a challenge. No woman wanted me just the way I was, even before I lost my leg. So good luck with that,” he added laughing lightly.

“I don’t need luck. I already know someone that feels that way.” Philip looked up at her and all the air went out of his lungs. She was giving him a look, he hadn’t seen in years. It took him back to those summer nights by the lake when they were teens.

He swallowed hard, trying to maintain his composure. “Really? Do tell.”

“You’ll have to wait until we get to Salem,” she teased, as she slowly stroked his hip.

Philip put his hands on both sides of her face, pulling her nearer, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Just a little hint,” he said as he pulled away. Chloe slowly opened her eyes recovering from the kiss.

“I think I might need more persuading than that.”

Philip smirked. “Get over here,” he said as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him. “Time for me to plead my case."

---------------
“Of course, I will help. I would do anything for Chloe. She knows that.” At least Philip hoped she knew. He clung to the small hope that Chloe remembered his promise and was holding it fast to help her survive upstate.

====


“The wind is picking up and it’s starting to snow. What if the tent doesn’t hold up?” asked Chloe as she slowly rubbed Philip’s bare chest under the blanket. Her hair was spread out all over his arm and shoulder, his head rested against hers.

“It seems to be solid enough,” he said looking up. “I don’t think we have to worry about it.”

“Philip how can you remain to so calm? It’s freezing out here, we have barely any food. We’re not going to be able to survive.” She tensed up beside him and Philip instinctively held her tighter, hoping to make her feel safe and calm.

“We’ve got a good group. I’ve got survival training. John, Bo, I’m sure Steve does too. We’ve got a couple of doctors. We’re going to be fine.” He kissed the top of her head, a cluster of small pecks, to put her at ease.

“Steve and Bo are not in the best shape and your leg…”He raised her chin with his hand and leaned closer, cutting off her words with a kiss. She smiled against his lips, before grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him harder.

“I can manage. I promise nothing will happen to us out here,” he said when he pulled away from her lips. He caressed her cheek gently, losing himself briefly in the soft feel of her skin. “I’d die before I let anything hurt you,” he said holding her gaze a beat, before he felt overwhelmed and had to look away. He felt her relax, and she sighed softly, nuzzling closer to him.

“I don’t want you to risk your life for me. Why do men always say crap like that? Don’t you guys know we want you here with us alive?”

“Don’t you know that we could never live with ourselves if something happened to the women we loved?” Philip has been trying to keep his response light, playful and a bit flirtatious, but something more popped in and made his statement more revealing than he had intended.

“I’m not your responsibility,” she said looking at him intently. Her blue eyes seemed to probe him, searching for something he wasn’t ready to share, so he averted his gaze, and turned his focus to her hand that continued to massage soft circles on his chest.

“You’re my nephew’s wife, you’re family. I would look out for you even if you weren’t my friend,” he said backing away from the intimacy of a few moments before. “I wouldn’t be able to look Brady in the eye if I came back and you weren’t with me.”

Her motions stilled on his chest. “So this is about Brady?”

A sharpness had crept into her voice, and Philip immediately felt the need to soothe it. His fears about revealing too much were quickly forgotten as he tried to make Chloe understand. He sat up slightly, pushing her away from him, so he could look directly at her face.

“What have we been doing in here for the past few hours? This isn’t about Brady.”His fingers tangled in her hair as he spoke. ”This is about you and me and the fact that ever since I was sixteen years old not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about you, wondered what you were up to, hoped you were happy and safe.”

“I’ve thought about you too.”

“Then how can you say this is about Brady? Brady has nothing to do with the way we feel about each other.”

“There have been other people, we’re not sixteen anymore.” She dropped her head. “None of that matters now.”

“It matters to me,” he said lifting her chin and forcing her to look at him again. “I knew it back then and I know it now, you will always be in my life.”

Chloe’s eyes filled with tears as they continued to stare at each other, letting his words surround them. If death were to take him that night, Philip knew he’d go a happy man. There was something in Chloe’s eyes that he had missed for so long, suddenly back on this cold, dark night. He couldn’t contain himself as he pulled her on top of him, her body molding with his, kissing her with an intensity that matched all he was feeling. One hand in her long dark hair, the other on her lower back pressing her closer than their bodies would allow. Soft moans as she let her hands fall from his hair, down his shoulders, then back up again. They broke apart abruptly, gasping for air, but still clinging to each other.

The cold air must have hit Chloe resurging all of her doubts, she shook her head moving off of him, returning to her spot in the crook of his arm. “Nothing lasts forever, there’s no such thing as always. Look at me and Brady we made promises, in front of God.”

“Yes there is always, that is real and true. I feel it.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “Right here, I always have. You have a permanent spot there. Other people can’t change that, there’s no shaking it, we’re connected.”

“Philip I really want to believe that, but how can I? So many people have gone, let me down, my own mother didn’t want me, Brady abandoned me. What does that say about the kind of person I am? I am not even worth sticking around for.”

He rolled her over on her back, hovering over her body, trapping her beneath him. He held himself above her, his hands on each side of her face, forcing her to focus on him.

“I’m still here. I’ll never abandon you. You’ve got me, whenever you need me.”

She shook her head with uncertainty. “What happens when you fall in love again? Find that perfect woman that loves you for you?”

“Listen to me. I don’t want to talk about other women or other men. This is about you and me. We’re tied together, like the sun and the moon. We’re forever Chloe. Nothing in this life will change that.”

“You promise?” she asked, her voice shaking with emotion.

Philip smiled softly, letting his eyes sweep over her face before focusing on her lips. He brushed a feather soft kiss across her lips, pulling up when she tried to respond. Philip let his weight fall on her, the need to be closer to her too strong to resist. She put her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers behind his head.

“Always Chloe,” he whispered. “I’ll always promise you that.” Then he leaned in and kissed her again.

===

Philip pulled himself back to the present and returned his focus to Drew.

-----------

Will post the next set of flashbacks later – I hope everyone enjoyed.

[slyn11]

The last of the flashbacks..

From Undertow 2: More Towers Flashbacks

Chloe inwardly groaned at that last thought, having an affair. The last thing she wanted was to be unfaithful again. Technically she was single, so she had no worries on that front, but the object of her affection, was anything but. If only she could go back, and do it all again. She’d be smarter, braver, and make better choices all around. Sometimes she longed for the power to go back.

It had been a warm evening, the impending sunset was doing nothing to lessen the heat. She had come back to the Towers after spending the day with Brady, trying to make sense of the mess her life had become. She was armed with two milkshakes from the pub, one chocolate, one vanilla. Two because she wasn’t sure which flavor would best soothe her frazzled mood, and also because extra ice cream just seemed like the right choice, she deserved all the sweet comfort she could get.

She had planned to watch the sunset on the balcony, quietly sobbing into her shakes, but it was not to be that night. Philip was there, out on his own balcony, feet propped up on the rail in front of him, still in his shirt and tie from work, white button down, dark gray pants, striped tie, brown hair falling into his eyes. He had told her he decided to come home early, a meeting had been cancelled, and he couldn’t muster the energy to continue working, so he came to find some fresh air and a clearer mind on the balcony. She handed him her chocolate shake, because he looked like he needed it more than her. They were silent for a while, only the sounds of the liquid through their straws, and the distant blares of car horns, disturbing their quiet.

“Ever wonder what it would be like if we could just start over? Take a giant eraser and do it all over again?” asked Chloe breaking the silence.

Philip looked over at her through the iron bars that separated them. “How far back are we talking? High school?”

“We can go there. Think things would’ve turned out differently if we had stayed together then?”

He shook his head slightly, sipping from his straw. “I needed the Marines. It was good for me. I was getting too intense, caught up in the wrong things.”

“But would you have been that way if Brady and I…” she trailed off not finishing her sentence, always a bit nervous whenever she brought up the subject of Brady with him.

“It wasn’t really about Brady. It was about me. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I didn’t feel like a good enough man. Still don’t.”

“You’re a good man Philip. Then and now.” She wanted to touch him, rub his arm, stroke his cheek, anything to let him know she meant what she was saying, but the bars kept her at bay.

“That’s decent of you to say but…”

“I mean it,” she said hoping to catch his eyes through the bars. He turned then, looking into her face, as if he were considering what she had just said.

“Thanks. That means a lot,” he said when he looked away, leaving Chloe to study his profile, once more.

“Rewind the clock and we never broke up in high school. What do you think would’ve happened?” Chloe asked putting down her milkshake and moving her chair closer to the bars that kept them apart.

“I only know one thing for sure,” he said staring at her intently, his blue eyes seeming brighter as the sun faded for the day.

“What’s that?” Chloe asked holding the bars with both hands.

“I would’ve married you,” he said never looking away.

Chloe looked down, completely caught off guard by the intensity of his words. “We were so young.”

“That didn’t matter. I knew I would have loved you forever.”

Chloe looked up to find him still looking in her direction, his eyes unfocused, perhaps seeing something beyond the here and now.

“What do you think would’ve happened?” asked Philip taking another sip of his shake.

“I would’ve said yes,” Chloe said, smiling out into the horizon as she saw the two of them in her mind, so young, emotions overtaking them.

“I wish you would’ve given me a hint back then. I would’ve been down on one knee so fast.”

“Our parents would have killed us,” Chloe laughed feeling brave enough to face him again.

Philip smiled. “It would have been worth it though.”

He stuck his index finger through the bars, a lone invader into her territory. Chloe latched onto that finger with her own, the closest they could get to an embrace from their fixed points. It was still too risky to share a space without the protection of bars.

“You think we’d be happier now if we’d gotten married back then?”

He let go of her finger and retreated back to his own side. “I don’t know. I’ve got one divorce under my belt, soon to be two.”

“And I’ve got two also.”

“I would hate to think we would have broken up and lost each other. The way we are now, how we’ve been over the years, is kind of perfect. Wouldn’t you say?”

“You are the best friend I could ask for,” she replied leaning her head against the balcony bars between them.

“I feel the same.”

“But sometimes I wonder,” she stopped herself, chewing her lower lip nervously.

“What? Finish your thought.” She felt Philip rub the top of her head, a part he could reach through the bars, to get her attention.

Chloe couldn’t look at him, but she told him what she had been trying to hold. “Sometimes I wonder if we would’ve been better off as a couple, friends and lovers combined.”

“That’s just heartache talking. If you weren’t on the outs with Daniel you’d see how we never really worked.”

“I wasn’t thinking about Daniel at all actually,” she said lifting her head, feeling the need to explain her point. “I was thinking maybe we never gave each other a real chance. We sold ourselves short.”

“There are some things I wished I handled differently, especially with you and Morgan, but I don’t know Chloe.” He shook his head, turning to look at her. “Wouldn’t we have ended up together somehow if we were supposed to?”

“Not when we kept getting in our own way.”

“I’ve done that so many times. Still can’t believe I was going to marry Stephanie, knowing all the while that I wasn’t the type of man she wanted. I convinced myself we could work through that.”

Chloe shrugged. “Maybe you could have. Before she saw that sex tape hadn’t you two gotten back together?”

“Yes we had. The sex tape wasn’t really the problem though. The real issue was that she didn’t trust me.”

“You did sleep with another woman.” Chloe reminded him softly.

“We were broken up. It was more that she always thought there was something between Melanie and me. And she was right.” Philip put down his empty milkshake and leaned back in his chair.

“You think Melanie thought there was something between us?”

Philip paused for a moment, considering her question. “I don’t think so.”

“Daniel did. He asked me to spend less time with you a few times.”

“You never told me that,” he said his eyes widening.

“No point. I didn’t do it. I wasn’t giving you up for him and his stupid insecurities.”

“Not so stupid, was he? Look what we did,” he laughed humorlessly looking out at the setting sun. “You think they will ever forgive us?”

“I don’t know Philip. It’s a lot to ask.”

“I know. I can’t help hoping for a miracle though, a way to get it all back.”

“We could always put our heads together and invent that time eraser, wipe it all away, go back to high school.”

He smiled still looking out over the balcony. “Sounds good. I might take you up on that if not for one thing.”

“What one thing?” asked Chloe.

“My wife. I don’t want to live in a world without her.”

She could hear his voice break at the mention of Melanie and Chloe’s heart dropped, disappointed that his wife had come in and interrupted the two of them again.

“You might be forced to if she divorces you.”

“Maybe so, but at least I’d still have the memories. I’d know at one time it was all real and I was happy.” He covered his face with his hands, seeming more upset than he had been all night. Chloe had wanted to make him feel better not worse.

“Right. I was just being silly. I don’t want to forget the people we love. I was just looking for a way to end this pain.”

Philip smiled at her, reaching out and rubbing her head through the bars again. “All we can do is hold on to each other and try to survive. I won’t let go if you don’t.”

-------

“You know you asked me to marry you before.”

“I know in high school. I was such a lovesick dork.”

“You were never a dork, but I meant after that, before your accident, when we were staying at the Towers.”

His eyes widened. “That’s shocking since you told me we were in love with other people at the time.”

“It wasn’t anything romantic, more like a pact.”

“We have a marriage pact?” asked Philip, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees.

Chloe smiled as she once again let her mind drift back to the Towers.

******

“Thanks for this picnic. I really needed it today,” said Philip, running his hands along the patterned comforter from her bed that she had spread out on the floor.

“Calling it a picnic is a stretch. There’s no food and we are indoors,” said Chloe pulling her knees up to her chin. She was wearing her workout gear, black leggings and a deep purple tank, but she hadn’t yet made it to the gym. Philip popping up unexpectedly way before quitting time at Titan had derailed her plans for exercise.

“But we are on a blanket and we have drinks, the very definition of a picnic.”

All they had were two glasses and a large bottle of scotch Philip stole from his father’s house earlier that day.

“Yeah if you’re a wino.” Her smiling fading when she saw the sad look on his face.

“As long as you’re here, the rest doesn’t matter,” he said taking another drink.

Chloe hadn’t been keeping count but she knew Philip was already a few drinks ahead of her. She suspected he had started long before he showed up at her door. He looked disheveled, with his hair falling into his eyes, his white button down no longer crisp and wrinkle free, his dark slacks creased in the wrong places.

“Right back at ya. Feel like talking about what happened today or?” Philip had been to see Melanie so a little depression was to be expected, but he seemed even more down than normal.

“Nope,” he answered quickly.

“Was it really bad?”

“No worse than usual, although this time she did throw some clothes in my face. Apparently she missed a few items when she packed up my stuff and had it shipped to my dad’s house.” He smiled at her, forced and strained, more like a grimace.

“That’s the worse,” she said rubbing his arm. “When Daniel put my stuff out, I sat outside the apartment door and cried for an hour. Nothing’s worse than losing your home.”

“It wasn’t really ours anyway. It’s Maggie’s.”

“Still. You guys lived there together.”

“I worry about her though, in the house alone. Mel doesn’t do well by herself, things get to her.”

“She has Maggie.”

“Maggie’s not going to hold her at night when she’s scared or wake up in the morning and cook her breakfast.”

“I’m sure she will.”

“I don’t want her to. That’s my job. I’m supposed to be there with her Chloe.”

She wasn’t sure if Philip was a saint or an idiot. Melanie tossed him aside, and yet he still was worried about her eating breakfast. The girl didn’t deserve him at all.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but she’s not alone. She has Maggie and she has Brady.” This was about the thirtieth pep talk she’d given him and she was quickly running out of material. The more she heard about Melanie and her deliberate bitchiness, the less inspired she felt to reassure him about her well-being.

“She told me that she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore.”

“She’s lying. Brady says she cries her eyes out of over you constantly.”

“You’re not helping. The last thing I want to do is make her cry.”

Chloe put her arm around his shoulders. “At least it shows she cares.”

“It shows she’s in pain. Mel’s been through enough in her life, and now I’ve added to the pile.”

“Where’s the real Philip Kiriakis?” she asked pushing the hair out of his face. “I know he’s in there. You’ve got to be getting a little pleasure from this. Payback and all, she was the one that caused all this mess.”

“Mel didn’t hold me down and make me have sex with you.”

“But she did lie to you repeatedly about her feelings for Nathan Horton.”

“She was confused and young.”

Chloe sighed as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Are you really going to make excuses for her? She broke your heart and your marriage was basically a sham.”

“No she loved me and wanted to be with me.”

He was getting upset, but he didn’t pull away, that was progress. Usually he blew up when she mentioned Melanie’s shortcomings. Maybe he finally was starting to see his wife’s true colors.

“Then why did she write that letter?”

“Hey! You promised to make me feel better. This is not better, rubbing salt in my wounds.”

“Sorry that girl pisses me off,” she said as she crawled over to the opposite side of the blanket to retrieve her drink. “I had to hear Brady go on and on about her pain today at the pub. What about our pain? We’re bleeding too, stuck on the 20th floor.”

“The 21st.” Philip corrected her. He had ditched his glass and was swigging straight from the bottle.

“Right, the 21st floor. With nothing but warm scotch to sustain us.”

“I said you could get some ice from the machine.”

“It’s down the hall! Why should we be forced to trek for ice?”

“Because this is a hotel,” said Philip gesturing around the room with the scotch bottle.

“Exactly. We’re being held hostage in a hotel because of Melanie’s pain and Daniel’s. Did you know Daniel set up a bowflex on my side of the bedroom? Brady told me.”

Philip shook his head in disgust. “What? You’ve only been gone a couple weeks.”

“No hope of reconciliation, Daniel would rather work on his abs.”

“Sweetheart, you can do so much better than him.”

“But he’s a renowned surgeon.” Chloe pouted.

“I don’t care. I didn’t want to say anything before because you love the guy, but I never liked you with him.”

“I thought you liked Daniel.” This was news to her. Everyone liked Daniel, except Kate, and Lucas, and probably Chelsea, but everyone else really liked him.

“Once you sleep with my mom you sort of fall out of favor with me.”

“Why did you bring up that he slept with Kate?” Chloe turned up her nose. “I’d like to forget that we shared a man.”

“On the bright side, you’ll now be able to move on to someone more worthy of you.”

“You’re right. I bet there are a lot of inmates looking for love.”

“Stop it. There’s a nice man out there for you, one with no prison record. You want to know a secret?” He sat up straighter, his eyes alive with excitement.

“Sure,” Chloe replied with far less enthusiasm.

“Here it goes. Usually what you’re looking for is right under your nose.” He was so pleased with himself, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s the secret? I think I learned that in kindergarten.”

“All the best lessons are learned there. I’m speaking as someone that took a long time to understand this. I looked everywhere, but right in front of me for the perfect match. I’d still be searching aimlessly if Melanie hadn’t jumped up and smacked me in the face.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Domestic abuse, what an aphrodisiac.”

“It’s only abuse if it’s nonconsensual.” He smirked.

“Eww! Gross! Please don’t tell me about your marital adventures into S&M.”

“Adventure keeps romance alive, along with a leather whip.”

“You’re so disgusting!” she said, trying to stifle her urge to laugh. She didn’t want to encourage his dirty behavior. Bad things happened when their conversations turned to the topic of sex.

“Don’t act like you aren’t into a little kink. We’ve had sex before remember?”

“Philip you promised you’d never bring that up.”

“No worries. Only you, me and the bed posts know what really went down.”

“Oh my God. I don’t know whether to smack your or hug you.”

“Ooo smack me baby. We can reenact that night.”

“You’re crazy, totally nuts, but you always manage to make me laugh.”

“Glad to be of service. Anything to keep my best friend happy.”

“Have I told you how wonderful you are?” she asked lying down on her back.

“Not in the past ten minutes, so feel free.” His arm brushed against hers as he settled down on his back next to her.

“You are the best guy. I’m so glad you’re my friend,” she said squeezing his hand.

“I’m glad you’re mine too.” They both rolled over to face each other. “I’d be breaking things like a rock star if it weren’t for you.”

“If I ever attempt this love and marriage thing again, he’s going to be just like you.”

Her fingertips trailed his jaw lightly, stubble starting to appear on his usually smooth chin. The smell of his aftershave surrounded her, earthy and clean, so rare to have Philip this close. They tended to keep a balcony between them.

“Impossible. I’m one of a kind baby.”

“Okay a close second.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled him, something about Philip was so soothing, like a fuzzy blanket, warm chocolate chip cookies, or a really tight hug. He was such a comfort in her life, especially now, when everything hurt.

“Why settle for an imitation when you can have the real deal? If my wife has her way, I’m going to be a free man real soon,” he said with a halfhearted smile.

“You don’t want to be with me. We tried and failed miserably.” Chloe hated to remember that time when they had been so close and threw it all away for two short-lived romances. Thankfully there were no permanent scars, their friendship managed to survive.

“Maybe we didn’t try hard enough.” His eyes were closed. Chloe couldn’t tell if he was talking about them or lost in some regretful thought about Melanie.

“I’m cutting you off. You’re talking crazy.”

“What’s so crazy about marrying my oldest and closest friend?” he asked opening his eyes. “We get each other, we have history, we listen to each other, and we both hold our liquor exceptionally well.”

“And that’s so important,” she agreed.

“I know!” he said emphatically. “No one wants a pukey mate.”

“There’s just one thing we’re missing. The love.”

“Eh. Love stinks.” He fanned his hand at her. “We don’t need it.”

“You’re right. We don’t need it.”

“Okay so that’s settled. Now there’s something I got to do.” Philip sat up on his knees and pulled Chloe up to face him. Taking both her hands he said, “Chloe Lane, will you marry me, one day, down the line, when I’m a free man with a hollow and blackened heart?”

“Way to sell yourself,” she giggled.

“Would it help if I promise to make you a cocktail every night?”

“It’s a start. What else you got?”

“Not much. Some money and my dimples.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“I promise to never break your heart.” He put her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

“I won’t break yours either,” she said feeling a little emotional. The scotch must have been going to her head.

“Is that a yes?” Philip asked with drunken hopefulness.

“Smile once for me. Let me make sure the dimples are worth it.”

“Oh they’re worth it,” he said breaking into a grin, his dimples emerging on his face. “I’ve closed many a deal with these babies.”

“Okay I’ll do it, but only because you promised me cocktails.”

*****

She had forgotten all about that proposal until tonight. They were drunk and stupid and it didn’t mean anything. An hour afterward Chloe had been giving Philip advice on how to get Melanie to talk to him. Still Philip’s drunken proposal might have been the nicest offer she ever had. She was at such a low point, half the town thought she was a slut, and there was Philip willing to be with her. Now she’d hit a new low, hopefully rock bottom because she couldn’t think of anything worse than living with the knowledge that she hurt her baby, and Philip still wanted her. How could she never have noticed how truly special he was before? She had been so blind.

[slyn11]

An all new Towers flashback for Kpatch I hope you like it.

========================================


Chloe entered her darkened hotel room, closing the door softly, careful not to make any noise. It was after two but it seemed like dead of night in her room.

"Can you walk quieter?" asked a voice in the darkness.

"I'm on carpet. There is no sound,” Chloe replied in notch above a whisper.

Philip groaned. In the shadows, Chloe could see him occupying her bed, still in the same blue button down and black slacks from the night before, except now they were very wrinkled. "Trust me there is. My brain hurts with every step you take."

"Your brain hurts because you drank a bottle of scotch,” said Chloe as she crossed the room.

They had spent the bulk of the previous night together drowning their sorrows in expensive liquor, as they did every night since they took up residence at the Towers Hotel.

"And then finished off your Ketel One."

She took a seat on the bed next to him. Somehow he had turned himself upside down and his head was now at the foot of the bed.

"I'm shocked you don't have alcohol poisoning."

"Never. I know how to hold my booze."

"Clearly.” She patted him gently on the head, laughing lightly when he flinched at the contact. “You passed out on my bed."

Chloe had been sprawled out on the floor, mid vent when she had heard soft snores coming from her bed. Philip usually could drink her under the table and still wake up refreshed, but last night he had consumed an unusually large quantity of alcohol.

"This is your room?” he asked squinting up at her. “I thought it was mine."

"You've been here since last night. I had to roll you over so I could get in. And let me tell you it was no easy task. You're a heavy guy."

Being in the same room was against their self imposed rules, so sharing a bed was a definite violation, but there was no rousing Philip from his drunken slumber, and sleeping on the floor was not something Chloe was willing to do. Feeling brave that they could handle one night in close quarters without the world ending, Chloe climbed into her bed next to him.

Philip rolled over on his back. "Not nice making fat jokes when I'm too hung over to defend myself."

"I think it's sort of cute you got a little pudgy." She leaned over and poked him in his side. "You're like the Pillsbury dough boy, all soft and squishy."

"Hey! You take that back,” he said sitting up. “I'm still all muscle, rock solid. Feel that." Philip flexed his bicep and held it out toward Chloe.

With a giggle, she tapped his curved arm. "Nice. Your arms do feel hard, but I was talking about this spot right here." She tickled his stomach, and Philip doubled over on the bed, laughing as she continued to tickle him. "Look at that, you even laugh like the dough boy."

Chloe tickled him some more, pursuing him across the bed when he tried to flee her hands. His hung over state made him such an easy target. He was moving far slower than he normally did.

"Stop I give up,” he said out of breath from laughing. “You can have whatever you want." Now at the correct end of the bed, he leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes.

"You're in for it now,” Chloe said joining him at the top of the bed. “I could have my way with you and you wouldn't be able to stop me."

Philip opened one eye and looked at her. "What man in his right mind would stop you? Do you know how many fantasies I used to have of you saying exactly those words to me?”

"If only you still had them. I could take all my frustrations out on you. Screw myself out of this misery."

He shook his head, closing his eyes again. "That attitude is exactly what got us here in the first place."

"I know,” Chloe said quietly.

Sex was the easy way out, but after weeks of being ignored by Daniel, she was willing to do just about anything to dull the pain. Drinking had stopped doing the trick for her long ago.

"Fine you can tickle me some more if it will make you feel better,” said Philip leaning across her lap. “I promise to try not to throw up on the bed."

Chloe looked down at Philip as he relaxed against her legs, staring up at her with his slanted blue eyes. "You're so good to me,” she said pushing the hair from his forehead.

His face fell. "It's the least I can do after destroying your life."

"Stop right there. We are not going down this road again. How many times do I have to tell you that my break up with Daniel is not your fault?” She leaned down close to him, hoping he’d get her point once and for all. He had wrongly been blaming himself for their one night together since it happened. “I was right there with you that night. I made the choice to sleep with you."

"I pushed you into it,” he said sitting up.

"I didn't need much of a push. I never could resist you."

He shot her a disbelieving look. "You resisted me for years.”

"Well once I had you, I never could resist you."

"There would have been nothing to resist if I hadn't been such a drunk ass."

"I was drinking too."

"Chloe, stop making excuses for me."

"Stop trying to take all the blame. I threw you down on the couch and crossed that line with you. I took what I wanted that night and now I’m paying for it."

She had never admitted it in such blunt terms before but that was precisely what happened. She had let herself give into the attraction she had always felt for Philip because she was angry with Daniel and feeling vulnerable and insecure. Philip being practically in the same emotional state as she was had just helped things along.

Philip let his head fall into his hands. "How did I let myself get so out of control? I could never imagine myself as someone that would cheat on my wife, not even with you."

"I think drunk and brokenhearted was your problem, a lethal combo. You would've slept with any woman that night. I just happened to be there."

"How can you say that Chloe?” he asked looking truly shocked. “I came to see you. I needed you. I didn't want just any woman. I wanted you."

He was being a gentleman of course, trying to protect her honor and make their one night seem like more than it was.

"Philip you don't have to say that. I get you were in a bad place."

"I'm not just talking. It's the truth.” Philip took her hand in his, holding it tightly. “You saved me that night. I don't know where I would've ended up if you hadn't answered your door."

"I didn't save you. I screwed up your life."

"We messed up, no question, but you being there for me, God you're like this anchor in my life, this magnet, like..."

"Like the North Star?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Remember when I told you that in high school? That you would always have a piece of my heart guiding you?"

"Of course I do.” She smiled, filling herself with the memory of him back then. “You brought the stars inside that night."

“I was such a sap. No wonder you dumped me.”

“You were the sweetest boy I had ever met. I’ll never forget all the things you said to me in the hospital. And you know what’s amazing? It was all true. You’re still my constant, my rock, guiding me like the North Star,” she said staring down at their joined hands. All these years later, Philip still hadn’t let her go. He was holding her together now, just as he did then.

"We haven't lost each other yet."

Their eyes met and a strange silence fell over the room. It felt like the beating of her heart was deafening and she feared Philip could hear how it had picked up pace. Chloe dropped his hand and jumped up from the bed breaking the spell and putting some much needed space between them.

"And we never will,” she said quickly. “Thank you for getting this room for me and taking me in when I had nowhere else to go,” she said trying to lead them away from the subject.

Somehow the ghost of the past had overtaken them and they were back to a time when they meant so much to each other. When holding hands and sharing a bed were the purest symbols of their connection. Remembering kisses shared in a dark hospital room under a white bed sheet was dangerous territory for them now, when their connection was supposed to be far less intimate.

"You will always have a place with me,” said Philip sounding so sincere. “Never forget that."

She longed to hug him, rush back over to the bed and wrap her arms around his neck, and thank him for still letting that sweet boy she used to know live inside him. All the pain, the years, the distance, hadn’t taken that part of Philip away, and Chloe was ever grateful, but she couldn’t tell him that.

"I hope you feel the same after I do this." She pulled open the curtains that covered the sliding glass balcony doors, letting in the bright sunshine and hopefully chasing all the ghosts away.

"Oh no, not the sun,” said Philip cringing and covering his eyes with his hand.

"Yes the sun. You need some light and some air."

"Are you trying to kill me?” he asked burrowing under the covers to get away from the light. “I just opened my heart to you and this is the thanks I get?"

With one knee on the bed, Chloe pulled Philip by the arm. "Come on Dough Boy let's get out on the balcony." Reluctantly Philip got up from the bed, letting Chloe lead him by the arm.

"Oh God the world is spinning,” he said when he stepped outside the balcony doors.

"You sit over here back from the rail.” She directed him to a lounge chair. “I don't want you falling."

"Or projectile vomiting on the pedestrians below."

"Gross Philip,” said Chloe turning up her nose.

He shrugged. "You've been warned."

“I’m going to order you some food.” Chloe turned to head back inside.

“Wait,” he said grabbing her by the hand stopping her. “Don’t go. I’m feeling better really.”

“You still need to eat.”

“I need you to sit next to me. I don’t want to be alone.” He dropped her hand and stared off into the horizon with that sad admission. Chloe felt herself inexplicably tearing up as she watched him in the warm sunlight.

“Philip what’s wrong? You’re starting to scare me.” She sat beside him, trying to hide her trembling hands.

It was as if a switch had flipped and Philip had suddenly become incredibly sad, leaving Chloe at a complete loss on how to bring him out of this dark mood. For what seemed like endless minutes they sat in silence, him still staring out at the Salem city skyline, and her staring at him.

“She hired a lawyer, EJ Dimera,” he said finally, still searching the sky.

“I’m sorry Philip,” she said tentatively squeezing his knee. “But you had to know this was coming.”

He let is hand fall on top of hers, the warmth of his skin bleeding into her. “I never thought she would take it this far. I always thought she was bluffing, you know? Then yesterday Justin calls me up and tells me Melanie hired EJ and that we need to pick a time to work out the terms.”

“So when’s your appointment?”

“Never. I told Justin to agree to whatever she wants.”

“Philip…” she started, totally blown away by what he had revealed. “That’s crazy. She could clean you out.”

“I don’t care. I hurt her,” he said standing up and leaning against the rail. Chloe sat up in her seat, on edge with him so close to the railing. “Besides she doesn’t want my money.”

“You do know who you married right? Con artist, tried to bilk Titan for millions.”

“She’s not like that anymore,” he said quickly, his tone making it clear that the subject of Melanie’s character was not up for debate.

“If you say so, but in my experience, people don’t change that much, you need to let Justin protect your assets.”

“Any day the papers could come.” He turned his back to her and leaned forward over the rail. “What am I going to do then Chloe?”

Chloe stood up in a panic. Projectile vomit was the least of her worries, what if Philip decided to do something much worse?

“Hey, look at me,” she said putting a hand on his back until he turned to his side and faced her. “You will get through it, just like you’ve gotten through everything else. This seems bad now but things will get better. I promise you there will be good times again one day.”

“How can you promise me that? Melanie’s my whole life and I’m losing her.”

He drifted away from her, his focus back on the horizon, but Chloe wouldn’t let him go, taking both his hands she pulled him to her, inches from her body. They shouldn’t have been that close, the boundary had been crossed, but Chloe didn’t care. She wasn’t going to lose him to the darkness that was pulling him toward the skyline.

“She’s not your whole life. You have your family, your work, and you have me. I’m not going anywhere.” She squeezed his hands willing him to believe her, to dispel the skepticism from his eyes.

Finally he looked at her truly, and whatever had held him broke free, and the clouds left his eyes and he was seeing her again. With a sad smile he pulled her into a tight hug, enveloping her completely in his arms.

“I guess I did gain a little weight but it was only because I was happy,” he said against her ear. “For the first time in my life I was completely satisfied. You know?” He stepped out of their embrace.

“I know. I was teasing before, the weight looks good on you.” She paused tucking a stray hair behind her ear, observing him a moment. “Happy looks good on you,” she added.

“I’m going to start hitting the gym more often again. I should at least have my abs back if I can’t be happy.”

“Or we can get burgers and fries –“

He shook his head backing away. “I think I’m going to be sick. I can’t even stomach the thought of food.”

“Come on Philip. It will make you feel better. We can split a piece of chocolate cake.”

He hesitated before responding. “I don’t think so.”

“Don’t make me tickle you again,” she said playfully.

“Fine you win,” he said conceding defeat.

“I knew I would.”

“But you better get two pieces of chocolate cake. I’m not much for sharing.”

She poked him in his side, tickling him a little. “I can tell Dough Boy.”

“Hey I thought we were playing nice,” he said the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “No more fat jokes.”

“How can I resist when you smile like that each time I do it?”

He sighed as he reached over and let his finger tangle in a lock of her hair.

“Thank you,” he said with small smile before turning to stare out at the horizon once more.

[Kpatch]

What a fabulous birthday present slyn11. Thank you so much. I absolutely loved (most of) it. It was a beautiful scene and it worked so perfectly with the rest of the stories and memories. It was warm and wonderful, bittersweet and romantic, a confused collision of past and present. It felt so real, including the cute Pillsbury doughboy teasing. My favorite part:

"How can you say that Chloe?” he asked looking truly shocked. “I came to see you. I needed you. I didn't want just any woman. I wanted you."

[slyn11]

Dec 4, 2013 20:55:36 GMT -5 Kpatch said:

What a fabulous birthday present slyn11. Thank you so much. I absolutely loved (most of) it. It was a beautiful scene and it worked so perfectly with the rest of the stories and memories. It was warm and wonderful, bittersweet and romantic, a confused collision of past and present. It felt so real, including the cute Pillsbury doughboy teasing. My favorite part:

"How can you say that Chloe?” he asked looking truly shocked. “I came to see you. I needed you. I didn't want just any woman. I wanted you."

Glad you liked it. It was enjoyable for me as well to take a break from the dark Phloe stuff I am dealing with now.

[slyn11]

A Phloe flashback I was informed I forgot to post here...thanks for the heads up! This is from Undertow2

--------------------------

She had been with Philip on his last birthday, not that they actually took the time to celebrate, no one was in the party mood. Melanie was still in the hospital recovering from the gunshot wound, Philip had been practically living with her in her hospital room, only going home periodically to shower and shave. They all had just found out that Carly and Daniel were Melanie’s parents, so emotions were running high, and all focus was on Melanie.

Daniel was never around, spending most of his time with Carly and Melanie, so Chloe was left alone to grieve the loss of the baby she had created in her mind. The clinical term might have been hysterical pregnancy, a phantom baby created by her brain, but to Chloe the baby had felt very real. She felt like she lost a part of herself, when she was told there was no heartbeat, that her womb was empty. Empty that was the only way to describe it, she felt hollow and worthless, and at the time nothing seemed like it would ever be able to fill her again.

She had been wandering through the halls of the hospital that night, hoping to run into Daniel, instead she ran into him, Philip, sitting alone, in the hospital waiting room. Daniel was in with Melanie, and Philip was not so patiently waiting for the chance to see his wife. Chloe stood back for a bit, just observing him, unsure whether she’d go to him. She was pretty bad company in her current mental state, but then Philip had looked up, his eyes bright blue against the dark navy of his button down shirt, and Chloe couldn’t help but smile, probably her first genuine smile in days.

So they sat together, exiled from their loves, still shut out, but no longer alone. As always, they managed to find each other. He held her hand that night, as he sat by her side. It had started with a tight squeeze, a physical confirmation of his support and understanding, but instead of releasing her hand, he had held it, intertwining her fingers with his, letting their joined hands fall on his knee. They remained that way, connected, close, as they talked, not realizing the minutes had faded into hours. Then it was midnight, a bell clanged somewhere in the distance, perhaps someone’s watch, or an alarm set to alert the nurses of passing time.

It was then Chloe had remembered, staring into his eyes, longing to brush his hair from his face, that it was his birthday, officially with the 12 o’clock hour. Something about being with him at that exact moment, made Chloe stir, perhaps it was nostalgia, maybe her loneliness during Daniel’s current state of preoccupation, or it could have been something more, that little something that was always there, despite her best efforts to ignore it. Feeling a bit like Cinderella, sitting in the presence of her prince, content and at ease, Chloe let go of his hand, and caressed his cheek. If Philip was startled by her action, he didn’t let it show, instead he smiled and leaned into her palm.

“Happy Birthday,” she said, only loud enough for him to hear.

He smiled wider at her words, his dimples appearing prominently, the first real smile she had seen from him since the wedding. So taken with that smile, she leaned over and kissed him, soft and sweet, on his faintly stubbled cheek.

“Don’t forget to make a wish,” she said as she pulled away and settled back into her own seat.

Philip looked down at his lap, saying nothing, but his smile remained. Again something within Chloe stirred, making her pause in an attempt to decipher the feeling. There was something changing inside her, and for the first time since she had found out there was no baby, she felt a step closer to whole, a little less empty. Philip grabbed her hand again, jarring Chloe’s focus back to him. He was alerting her to the door opening, and Daniel hovering in the doorway of Melanie’s room, his back toward them, as he continued to speak with Melanie.

Philip jumped up, eager to go in to his wife, and Chloe’s heart inexplicably sank just a little. It had been so nice, just being alone with him, she wasn’t quite ready for it to end, for the painful reality of her life to resume. Chloe remained in her chair, watching Philip walk away, trying to pull herself together before Daniel arrived. Then Philip stopped, turning back to face her.

“Chloe. Thank you for tonight. I really needed this.” He looked down hesitating. “I really needed you,” he added when he finally looked up to connect with her eyes.

Chloe searched for the words to convey what she was feeling, to let him know what he had just given her in a few short hours in the hospital waiting area, but as it often happened in her life, especially with him, she couldn’t quite articulate her thoughts, all she could do was continue to stare, letting herself fall into those very familiar blue eyes. Philip took a step toward her, and Chloe rose to her feet, anticipating something, though she didn’t know what. Things had shifted somewhere in the midst of midnight and sweet kisses. Chloe could tell there was something more about to fall from his lips. But then the door behind them shut and Daniel finally exited the room, breaking their spell. Philip dropped his eyes, and turned his back, leaving Chloe feeling on the brink of empty again.
*********