|
|
Post by fluffysmom on May 10, 2013 17:47:46 GMT -5
So cute. Mrs M.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kpatch on May 17, 2013 13:24:59 GMT -5
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot..
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work..
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
|
|
|
|
Post by fluffysmom on May 17, 2013 18:36:07 GMT -5
So cute. I really like that.
|
|
|
|
Post by MrsM on May 17, 2013 19:54:21 GMT -5
Love it!!
|
|
|
|
Post by MrsM on May 24, 2013 8:45:20 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Kpatch on May 24, 2013 10:16:51 GMT -5
Hahahahaha. So cute MrsM. |
|
|
|
Post by Kpatch on May 24, 2013 10:20:06 GMT -5
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
---------
New Wives Store
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The First floor has wives that love sex.
The Second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
|
|
|
|
Post by sportsgirl on May 24, 2013 15:04:50 GMT -5
Good ones @kpatch!!
|
|
|
|
Post by MrsM on May 24, 2013 18:56:05 GMT -5
Hahahaha!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by fluffysmom on May 24, 2013 18:58:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Kpatch on May 31, 2013 7:49:11 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by MrsM on May 31, 2013 7:59:08 GMT -5
Hahahaha!! That is so cute!!
|
|
|
|
Post by sportsgirl on May 31, 2013 13:51:47 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Kpatch on May 31, 2013 14:55:35 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by stickywicket on May 31, 2013 16:32:12 GMT -5
Great job ladies, thanks for the Friday laugh!
|
|
