Lost Days of Our Lives (Read 1,912 times)

[Kpatch]

~PRELUDE~

NBC STUDIOS

Executive Producer Dick Dorkay: I’m bored.
Molly Burnett: I’m not surprised.
Dorkay: Yeah, but I have a short attention span. What’s your excuse?
Molly: You keep dropping the ball.
Dorkay: Huh? What ball? I hate sports.
Molly: I mean you keep leaving the viewers hanging with unfinished storylines and unanswered questions.
Dorkay: I do not!
Molly: Do too.
Dorkay: Name one.
Molly: Seriously???
Dorkay: Ha! I knew you couldn’t name any.
Molly: Let’s talk about pocket for starters.
Dorkay: Pocket? What do you mean?
Molly: Pocket. Tyler. You know. Philip’s kid. Or is he? Then there’s Ivan, and Rolf and Allie and Pookie. Where are they? And what about Nick?
Dorkay: Which Nick? Corelli? Or the Nick that Steve played when he came back in 2006? Or Nicholas Alamain? Or Nicole Walker?
Molly: None of the above. I’m talking about Nick Fallon. But now that you mention it, where is Nicholas Alamain?
Dorkay: How should I know?
Molly: Here’s another one. How did Philip’s leg grow back. And why did he have a face transplant and end up with the same face he used to have. I mean, I’m not complaining. It’s a fabulous face, but it was a stupid story.
Dorkay: Um.
Molly: And how’s John? Is he still paralyzed? Did Max become a doctor? Why did Mike and Carrie break up. Why did Mike and Robin break up? And where’s Jeremy anyway? That reminds me ... how come Stephanie, the former race car driver, has lost her backbone? Why is it we don’t know the names of Greta’s father or Nathan’s father? Where is Isabella really buried? And how is it possible that Roman doesn’t have a woman in his life?
Dorkay: I have a question too. Why does it seem like you’re mad at me?
Molly rolls her eyes.
Molly: Of course I’m mad. We’re all mad.
Dorkay: Who’s “we” all?
Molly: Are you serious? I’ll just leave you to ponder that unanswered question while I give the viewers what they’ve been waiting for, for far too long.
Dorkay: And what would that be?
Molly: The answers to some of their most pressing questions.


Tune in for the start of Lost Days of Our Lives.

______________________________________
Copyright © 2010 kpatch. All rights reserved.

[Kpatch]

PHILIP AND MELANIE’S ROOM, KIRIAKIS MANSION

Philip and Melanie are snuggling and kissing in bed one morning after making love.

Philip: We are so good together. I’m glad we were able to get past our problems.
Melanie: It’s because we decided to be totally honest with each other about everything from now on.
They kiss again, as Melanie slides her foot up and down Philip’s leg.
Melanie: That’s amazing.
Philip: So are you.
Melanie: That’s not what I meant. I mean, yes, of course, you’re an amazing lover, but what I meant is that it’s freaky how real your leg feels.
Philip: Oh that.
Melanie: Oh. Sorry. I know you don’t like to talk about it. Forget I said anything.
Philip: No, it’s okay. And as long as you brought it up, I guess I should tell you the truth about my leg.
Melanie: The truth? What is it?
Philip: It’s what you do instead of lie. But that’s not important right now. What is important is that we promised we would always be honest with each other, so here goes. I didn’t really lose my leg.
Melanie: Then what happened? Did you just misplace it?
Philip: Very funny.
Melanie: Well, if you didn’t really lose your leg, why does everyone think you did?


SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

Nicholas Alamain: What do you want to do for the holidays this year?
Mrs. Alamain: How about going to Salem?
Nicholas: You’re kidding, right?
Mrs. A: I think it’s time you reconciled with your family.
Nicholas: What family? The only family I have is you.
Mrs. A: You know who I’m talking about.
Nicholas: And you know that my father is dead and the woman who gave birth to me killed him. I have no family.


To be continued ...


Chapter 2

PHILIP AND MELANIE’S ROOM, KIRIAKIS MANSION

Melanie: If you didn’t really lose your leg, why does everyone think you did?
Philip: This is top secret, Mel. I mean like government secret. It’s highly classified and you can never tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. Okay?
Melanie: Will you have to shoot me after you tell me?
Philip: Ordinarily yes, but since you’ve already been shot, we can skip that part.
Melanie: That’s good. Okay, I promise I won’t tell anyone. Now tell me!
Philip: Okay. When I was in the Marines, I was bored.
Melanie: So bored you shot your leg off?
Philip: Stop joking. This is serious. My father paid to get me some cushy assignment and I was bored to death. So I volunteered for an assignment that was kind of dangerous. Well, very dangerous.
Melanie: Ooh. What was it?
Philip: I had to infiltrate a Middle Eastern weapons-smuggling ring.
Melanie: You’re making that up.
Philip: No. I’m not.
Melanie: What does this have to do with your leg?
Philip: Nothing. This is about my face.
Melanie: Now you’ve lost me.
Philip: It all ties together. You have to know about my face to understand about my leg.
Melanie: Hmmm. You know, I always wondered about those pictures.
Philip: What pictures?
Melanie: The ones at your Dad’s house from when you were a kid. I mean those pictures look the same as you look now. Only younger. I just figured your dad hired an amazing photo retoucher, or a top-notch plastic surgeon.
Philip: He would have if he needed to.
Melanie: Well, I really really like your face.
Philip: Can I finish my story?
Melanie: Oh sorry. Go ahead.


TITAN HEADQUARTERS

Victor: Marie, I need an events planner.
Marie [checking her PDA]: Here’s someone. Jodie Fisher.
Victor: Hmm, why does that name sound familiar? Isn’t she that gay actress?
Marie: You’re thinking of Jodie Foster.
Victor: Ah yes. Well, have we used her before?
Marie: I don’t think so.
Victor: Ha! I know where I’ve heard her name before. She’s the tramp who’s responsible for the demise of the Hewlett Packard chairman.
Marie: Oops.
Victor: You really need to do a thorough background check of all vendors before recommending them to me.
Marie: Yes, sir. I’m sorry.
Victor: Find someone else. A man. That way there won’t be any problems or misunderstandings.
Marie: Right away, sir.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

PHILIP AND MELANIE’S ROOM, KIRIAKIS MANSION

Philip: So there was this one Middle Eastern weapons smuggler that I knew.
Melanie: Get out. You knew some drug smuggler?
Philip: Not drugs. Weapons. Melanie, you’re not paying attention.
Melanie: Sorry, what did you say?
Philip: Come on. Put down your iPad and listen to me.
Melanie: Just a sec. I’m reading some Days of Our Lives spoilers. Just dying to know what happens with Sami and Rafe. Rafe’s presumed-dead fiance Emily just showed up!
Philip: I’m not interested in that storyline.
Melanie: Keep going. I’m listening now.
Philip: Anyway, it would have been dangerous, deadly in fact, if he recognized me.
Melanie: If who recognized you?
Philip: The weapons smuggler. My cover would have been blown and my life would have been over then and there.
Melanie: Oh my gosh. If that happened, we would never have met!
Philip: I know. So they brought me back into CentCom and gave me a new face. Well, a fake face.
Melanie: Like a mask?
Philip: Exactly. I got a mask with a face that looked like this second-rate actor named Kyle Brandt.


NBC STUDIOS

Dorkay: Stop stop stop. You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Molly: No wonder this show can never move forward. What’s your problem now?
Dorkay: This whole story. It’s completely bogus. It’s so far-fetched that the audience will never buy it.
Molly: It’s no more far-fetched than a lot of the stories you’ve told on Days for real. Our viewers have shown that their B.S. meter is set pretty high and they can tolerate a lot.
Dorkay: Well, I hate it. But okay. Carry on.


PHILIP AND MELANIE’S ROOM, KIRIAKIS MANSION

Melanie: Kyle Brandt! He’s pretty cute.
Philip: Excuse me???
Melanie: I mean he’s nowhere near as cute as you. But that’s an interesting factoid.
Philip: When the mission was over, CentCom had to figure out some reason to send me home, so they used my leg as a cover.
Melanie: They used your leg as a cover? A blanket would have worked better.
Philip: As a cover story to get me back to the states, they said my leg got blown off. So I got a free pass back to the states. Then they brought me back for a second tour of duty, so we could say that my face got blown up and I could get “reconstructive surgery” and get my real face back.
Melanie: That’s far fetched, even for Days.
Philip: No more far fetched than the stories shown on air.
Melanie: That’s true. Say, I’m hungry. Want to go out to IHOP for breakfast?


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

Nicholas: No way I’m ever setting foot in Salem again.
Mrs. A: Don’t you want to meet your sister?
Nicholas: We’ve discussed this before, sweetheart. She’s not my sister.
Mrs. A: Nicholas, come on. You know she is.
Nicholas: Carly isn’t my mother so how can that Melanie person be my sister?
Mrs. A: I don’t blame you for hating Carly, but that’s not Melanie’s fault. If I were you, and I had a family member that I never met, I’d want to meet them. I want to meet my sisterinlaw.
Nicholas: You’re trying my patience, dear.
Mrs. A: Salem is beautiful this time of year. The leaves are changing color. Plus, I’d like to see everyone.
Nicholas: Why? You haven’t seen them for years.
Mrs. A: I know, but they were the closest thing to family that I ever really had.
Nicholas: You’re just trying to get me to go to Salem.
Mrs. A: It’s not all about you, Nicholas.
Nicholas: You’re right. I’m sorry. But if you really want to go to Salem, you’ll have to go without me.


PHILIP AND MELANIE’S ROOM, KIRIAKIS MANSION

Philip: Now that you know the truth, we can never talk about this again.
Melanie: I’m really glad you were honest and truthful with me, Philip. And you don’t have to worry. My lips are sealed.
Philip: Not for long.
They start kissing.


SWITZERLAND

Rolf: It iz time for your daily injection, John.
John: I’m sick of being a pin cushion. You’ve been giving me these injections for a year now. When am I going to be able to walk again?
Rolf: Patience, John. Zeez things take time.
John: Time I’ve got. But I’m fresh out of patience. I want answers.
Rolf: Well, if you must know, I have already created zee antidote for zee drug you were injected with when you became paralyzed.
John: Then give it to me!
Rolf: I’m not so sure I should.


NBC STUDIOS

Dorkay: Hey, Rolf’s back! I’ve been wondering what happened to Rolf. I just love him.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

CHLOE AND DANIEL’S APARTMENT

Two men stand outside the apartment. One of them knocks on the door and Chloe answers it.

Chris: Omygawd!
Chloe: Chris!
Chris: Hello gawgis!
Chris gives Chloe a bear hug as Daniel comes to the door to see what’s going on.
Daniel: Hi.
Chris: I think I’m gonna faint. There’s just too much gawgis in one room.
Chloe: Who’s your friend?
Chris: Heavens to Betsy! Where are my manners? This is Harold Wentworth. We were sent by the agent from Salem Realty to look at the apartment.
Chloe: Come on in.
Chris: You moving, sugar?
Chloe: Yes. Daniel, me, and our baby are moving to California.
Daniel: The surfing ... is better ... there.
Chris: I heard you had a baby, sugar. Been wondering who’s the daddy.
Daniel: So the two of you are looking to move in?
Chris: Heavens no. We’re not a couple.
Harold: No no no. Chris and I aren’t boyfriend-boyfriend.
Daniel: I’m sorry. I just assumed.
Harold: No worries. People make that mistake all the time.


NBC STUDIOS

Dorkay: Stop stop stop. This isn’t a gay storyline, is it? I hate gay.
Molly: I’m shocked. Not!
Dorkay: I refuse to do a story about gay. The men on Days are macho.
Molly: We could do lesbians instead if you want. Guiding Light fans had a lot of fun with lesbians.
Dorkay: That’s true.
Molly: So, are you ready to suck it up, Dick?
Dorkay: Well okay. Just go easy on me, Molly.
Molly: Hehehe.


CHLOE AND DANIEL’S APARTMENT

Chris: The apartment’s just for me. At least until I get lucky. Ha!
Harold: I’m in a committed relationship, just not with Chris.
Daniel: Isn’t that special? Say, why does the name “Harold Wentworth” sound familiar? Have I ever ... seen you ... as a patient?
Harold: Don’t I wish!
Chris: Harold’s too modest to tell you, but I will. His father is Oliver Wentworth, owner of the Salem Spectator, and the Salem Globe, and the Salem Intruder. He’s a monster media mogul!
Harold: Chris! You’re making me blush.
Chris: I was talking about your dad, not you.
Chloe: Come on, I’ll show you the apartment.
Chris: Chloe, sugar, can we see the baby or is she asleep? And tell me, who’s the babydaddy? The rumor mills are working overtime.


LATER, HAROLD ARRIVES AT HIS APARTMENT

Harold: Hey babe, I’m home. Come here and give me a kiss.
Roman: Where da hell have you been? I missed you like crazy.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SALEM INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES

Philip: More coffee?
Melanie: Yes, thanks. So what are we going to do this year for the holidays?
Philip: Want to go back to the Bed and Breakfast we went to last year?
Melanie: I kind of want to spend Christmas in Salem this year. I mean, now that I have a family, I’d like to be with you and Maggie. And I’d like to spend time with my dad before he and Chloe take the baby and move to California. Plus I’m hoping my Mom will get sprung from her work-release program, at least for the holidays. I’m really bummed that she’s locked up in prison.
Philip: I get that. But it’s what happens if you kill your husband. Keep that in mind.
Melanie: Ooh, a cautionary tale!
Philip: If you want to stay home for the holidays, that’s what we’ll do. ... What’s the matter? You look sad all of a sudden.
Melanie: You know what I want?
Philip: Maple, blueberry or rasperry?
Melanie: Maple. I wish I could be with my brother too.
Philip: Consider it done. I’ll fly Max and Chelsea in from London.
Melanie: Oh, that would be amazing! But I wasn’t talking about Max. I meant my brother Nicholas. The brother no one talks about.
Philip: I really liked Nicholas.
Melanie: What? You know him???
Philip: We were kids together. Me and Shawn and Nicholas.


NBC BOARDROOM

Dorkay: Stop stop stop. That’s a lie. Philip wasn’t even born when Nicholas was first on the show.
Molly: Oh so what. If you can rewrite history, so can I. Besides, since Shawn D and Nicholas were boyhood friends, and Shawn D and Philip are supposed to be the same age, it stands to reason that Philip would know Nicholas Alamain.
Dorkay: I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.
Molly: Oh go suck a duck, Dick. You know, at the rate Nicholas was SORAS’d so he could have an affair with Kate, he should be older than his own mother right now. So just shut up and let me do my thing.


IHOP

Philip: We were kids together. Me and Shawn and Nicholas.
Melanie: You were? You never told me.
Philip: To be honest ...
Melanie: Yes, we said we’d always be honest. No more secrets. No more lies.
Philip: I haven’t thought about him in years. I was really very young when I knew him. He and Vivian lived at the mansion for a while, and I’ve tried to block out anything and everything having to do with Vivian.
Melanie: That’s understandable. So tell me. What was he like? Was he nice? Was he happy? Was he fun?
Philip: He wasn’t that much fun. He was a very straight-laced polite little kid and I kept trying to …
Melanie: Trying to what?
Philip: Well, I was a bit of a troublemaker.
Melanie: Why am I not surprised?
Philip: But he was a real straight arrow. A little lord Fauntleroy … until …
Melanie: Until what?
Philip remembers the fling that his boyfriend friend had with his mother. He cringes and dismisses the thought from his mind.
Philip: Um Nevermind. I just remembered something. I have a meeting.
Melanie: Philip wait, you’re not keeping secrets from me, are you?
Philip: Why would you even ask me that?
Melanie: Don’t forget, we promised we would always be honest with each other, you know.
Philip: How could I forget? You remind me every ten minutes. Gotta run. Love you.


TITAN HEADQUARTERS

Marie [on the intercom]: Mr. Kiriakis, your event planner is here. Yes sir, I’ll send him in.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

TITAN HEADQUARTERS

Marie [on the intercom]: Mr. Kiriakis, your event planner is here. Yes sir, I’ll send him in.

Victor: Hello. I’m Victor Kiriakis.
Chris: Oh I know I know I know all about you, Mr. Big. I am so so so excited to be working with you!
Victor: Working for me. Now then, this event must be held at Chez Rouge. I don’t care when it’s held, but the venue is non-negotiable. Chez Rouge is a must.
Chris: That’s perfect! I know the owner -- Mrs. Maggie Horton -- very well and I’ll use my clout to arrange it!
Victor: You know Maggie? Is that a fact?
Chris: Yes indeedy. I worked with her when I was with Hearth & Home playing assistant to that beeatchy Kate Roberts.
Victor: Ha! So you’re the one. You know something, Chris? I think we’re going to get along just fine.


KIRIAKIS MANSION

Vivian: I’ve had it with that wholesome redhead Maggie Horton. It’s time I got rid of her for good. I’ve got a plan, Gus!
Gus: I’m all ears Madam.
Vivian: I want you to switch her prescription medication for oxycontin.
Gus: That’s a very strong painkiller, Madam.
Vivian: Yes I know.
Gus: It’s also highly addictive. People who are addicted have been known to do awful things.
Vivian: Yes I know.
Gus: Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?
Vivian: Yes I know. But she won’t be on the pills forever, Gus. Just long enough to get her addicted. Then we’ll switch her back to her regular drugs and she’ll be strung out like a two-bit junkie. She has an addictive personality anyway, you know.
Gus: Yes I know. I still think ...
Vivian: Well don’t think. If I wanted you to think, I’d pay you more.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SWITZERLAND

Rolf: Well, if you must know, I have already created zee antidote for zee drug you were injected with when you became paralyzed.
John: Then give it to me!
Rolf: I’m not so sure I should. I have to think about my future, you know.
John: You’re not going to have any future at all if you don’t fork over the antidote.
Rolf: Sadly for you, John, you are not in a pozition to make threats.
John: If you even think about double-crossing me after all the money I’m paying you...
Rolf: John, I’m surprized to hear you talk zis vay. You and I had become close back in Salem. We were almost friends.
John: We were more like master and manservant.
Rolf: I see. So I meant nothing to you.
John: Okay. Okay. We’re friends. Now what is it you want?
Rolf: I want security. If Stefano finds out that I am helping his wayward brother, he will have me killed.
John: So?
Rolf: I can see it doesn’t matter to you, but it matters very much to me. If I give you zee cure for your paralysis, my work here will be done, and I’ll have to go back to Salem.
John: Ah, the light is dawning. Okay, then let’s make a deal. You cure my paralysis, I’ll pay you handsomely, and Stefano will never find out from me that you were even here. How does that sound?
Rolf: Vunderbar!
John: If that’s all you wanted, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?


SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL DOCTORS LOUNGE

Nathan: Didn’t you tell me that Philip is out of town for a few days?
Melanie: Yeah, some business thing he had to take care of.
Nathan: In that case, why don’t we go do something? The evening’s young. We could go to a club. Maybe go dancing.
Melanie: Thanks anyway, but it’s been a long day, and I’m pretty tired.
Nathan: Yeah, I’m beat too. Sometimes it feels like I get more cases to handle because of who I am.
Melanie: Who are you?
Nathan: A Horton.
Melanie: I always wondered what it would be like to be a Horton.
Nathan: You know, that could be arranged.
Melanie: I think we should change the subject. Speaking of your last name, how come your mom kept her maiden name?
Nathan: Um.
Melanie: Come to think of it, you never talk about your dad. Who is your dad anyway?


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

~Interlude~

IDENTITY CRISIS MANAGEMENT CENTER

Doctor: Hello children of Salem. I’m Dr. Laura Spencer Horton and I’m delighted that you all could come to our group therapy session today. I’d like to start by going around the room and having everyone introduce themselves and explain why they’re here. Let’s start with Ciara Brady.

Ciara: My mommy is a schizophrenic jailbird and my daddy can’t keep his pants zipped. Oops, is my daddy here?
Dr. Laura: He is indeed.
Ciara: I’m in big trouble.
Dr. Laura: Johnny?
Johnny: Me and my twin have different fathers, and both my parents are babynapping homicidal drama queens.
Dr. Laura: Allie?
Allie: Me and my twin have different fathers and my mother is a babynapping homicidal drama queen.
Dr. Laura: Sydney?
Sydney: Don’t even ask.
Dr. Laura: Belle?
Belle: Johnny and Allie’s mom is my sister, and she kidnapped me when I was a baby because my father wasn’t the man my mother was married to.
Dr. Laura: Bo?
Bo: The man I called my father growing up turned out not to be my father. My biological father was the head of a crime syndicate. Want to hear how I found out he was my father?
Dr. Laura: Please!
Bo: I was on a case and I was about to gun down the bastage when my mother yells, don’t shoot, he’s your father!
Dr. Laura: Great story! Thanks Bo. Melanie?


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

ENGLAND

A man and a little boy enter a flat somewhere in England. The man calls out to his wife.
Man: Dear? Come here and see who I found lurking at Heathrow.
Woman: Would you lookie what the cat dragged in! Come ‘ere and give your Gramma a big ole kiss.
The woman scoops the little boy in her arms and gives him a big wet kiss on the cheek. The little boy squirms and wipes the kiss off his face.
Woman: Whatsa matter, Johnny? Ain’t you happy to see Gramma Susan?


SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL DOCTORS LOUNGE

Melanie: Come to think of it, you never talk about your dad. Who is your dad anyway?
Nathan: I don’t know.
Melanie [giggling]: What do you mean you don’t know?
Nathan: Just what I said. Rumor has it that my mom was pretty ... um ... popular ... in her younger years. She was married briefly, but after that, she went through a series of guys.
Melanie: So you really don’t know who your dad is? Aren’t you curious?
Nathan: I was real curious when I was little. I used to call up Hope and Jennifer all the time and basically harrass them to give me the names of all my mom’s boyfriends.
Melanie: Did they?
Nathan: No. They told my mom I called them, and I sort of got in trouble. My mom said “If there’s anything you want to know about, ask me.”
Melanie: So did you?
Nathan: Did I what?
Melanie: Did you ask her who your father is?
Nathan: Of course.
Melanie: What did she say?


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL DOCTORS LOUNGE

Melanie: Did you ask her who your father is?
Nathan: Of course.
Melanie: What did she say?
Nathan: She said she’d tell me when I got older.
Melanie: How much older? Like 25? Or like 50?
Nathan: I don’t know. Anyway, it seemed clear that she didn’t want to talk about it, so I let it go.
Melanie: I can’t believe you didn’t keep asking her. It would drive me crazy. I wouldn’t stop until I found out. I would have to know.
Nathan: I’m not sure I really want to know. I mean, I’m proud to be a Horton, but my father might not be someone I could feel proud of.
Melanie: It shouldn’t change the way you feel about yourself. Your parents don’t define you.
Nathan: Really? Don’t you feel differently about yourself since you found out that Carly and Daniel are your parents, and Trent isn’t your father?
Melanie: I suppose you’re right.
Nathan: Come on, let’s get out of here. I feel like dancing tonight.
Melanie: Then you should call Stephanie.
Nathan: I meant with you.
Melanie: I know what you meant, Nathan. But I’m married.
Nathan: So? Philip owes you one.
Melanie: One what?
Nathan: A one night stand. You know, tit for tat.
Melanie: Wow, you really know how to sweep a girl off her feet.
Nathan: Cool. Come on.
Melanie: No. That’s not the way it works, Nathan. And even if I believed two wrongs make a right, it wouldn’t matter. Because the only man I want to “dance” with is Philip.
Nathan: For now ...


KIRIAKIS MANSION

Gus: Madam, Mrs. Horton is a nice woman.
Vivian: A nice woman? She is disrespecting my marriage to Victor! She is a deceptive, manipulative beast whose sweet and innocent act has fooled everyone including you!
Gus: I’m sorry Madam, but I don’t believe that. The other people you sought vengence against, like Carly Manning and Chloe Lane, weren’t innocents, so I didn’t mind helping you.
Vivian: You’re not disobeying a direct order, are you, Gus?
Gus: No Madam, of course not. I merely wanted to point out all angles of such a plot.
Vivian: Well thank you, thank you very much Gus. And in the future, if I want your opinion, I’ll tell you what to think. Now go and do as I say.
Gus: Yes Madam.

Vivian huffs out of the room as Gus reaches for his cell phone and dials a number.
Gus: Hello, it’s me. You are needed right away. Madam has finally gone off the deep end. Yes, even for her. She’s gone too far and you’re the only one who can rein her in.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

~Interlude~

IDENTITY CRISIS MANAGEMENT CENTER

Bo: I was on a case and I was about to gun down the bastage when my mother yells, don’t shoot, he’s your father!
Dr. Laura: Great story! Thanks Bo. Melanie?
Melanie: I was raised by a father who pimped me out.
Dr. Laura: What???
Melanie: Yup, he pimped me out. Okay. Then after he was murdered, I found out that my parents were both doctors. Can you believe that?
Dr. Laura: Interesting. Chloe?
Chloe: My mother put me up for adoption because she didn’t want her husband to know that another man fathered her baby.
Dr. Laura: Thank you Chloe. Lucas?
Chloe: Wait. I’m not done. So then no one wanted to adopt me.
Dr. Laura: I’m shocked. Next.
Chloe: There's more.
Dr. Laura: Well, now you’re cutting into Lucas’ time.
Lucas: You know what, Dr. Laura? It’s okay. I’m used to Chloe’s selfishness.
Chloe: Bo got to speak for a really long time and no one had a problem with it.
Dr. Laura: Fine. Please continue Chloe.
Chloe: Now where was I? Oh, I remember. So I grew up in foster care.
Dr. Laura: I see. Thank you Chloe. Lucas?
Chloe: So years later, my mother found me and brought me to live with her and her husband.
Dr. Laura: I see. Thank you Chloe. Lucas?
Chloe: Wait. I’m still not done. Come to find out, my mother’s husband really is my biological father.
Dr. Laura: I’m glad you had a happy ending.
Chloe: You call that happy? I grew up in foster homes for nothing.
Dr. Laura: Is there anything else you want to say, Chloe?
Chloe: No, I’m done.
Dr. Laura: Good. My apologies Lucas. Your turn.
Lucas: I didn’t find out that Bill Horton was my father until I was a teenager.
Dr. Laura: Thank you Lucas. Mike?
Mike: Hey Lucas. Same here. I didn’t find out that Bill Horton was my father was until I was a teenager. Thanks for nothing, Mom.
Laura: Now Michael, it’s time to leave your bitterness in the past. Who’s next?
Philip: I am. And speaking of bitter, did you know I’m the only person in Salem who has three biological parents? And they all suck.
Dr. Laura: That’s a bit harsh, Philip. I think you need to be more charitable toward your parents.
Philip: Really? He holds up his fingers as he counts them off. My parents are Victor Kiriakis, Kate Roberts, and Vivian Alamain. Nuff said. He then looks over at Belle, Melanie, and Chloe and smiles. Oh, but on the positive side, I’ve had sex with all the women in this group therapy session.


To be continued ....

[Kpatch]

TITAN HEADQUARTERS

Marie: Your mail, sir. Will that be all?
Victor: Dammit!
Marie: Something wrong, Mr. Kiriakis?
Victor: I’m still getting these damn notices from that bill collector.
Marie: Yes sir, I know.
Victor: I paid the movers the agreed-upon amount, yet they keep asking for more, and now they’ve sent the case to a collections agency.
Marie: Is there something I can do, sir?
Victor: Give this notice to Justin and see if he can make this whole thing go away.


DANIEL AND CHLOE’S APARTMENT

Daniel: Come on in, kitten. What’s going on? Your message sounded urgent.
Melanie: I want to help Nathan find his real dad.
Daniel: His real dad?
Melanie: He doesn’t know who his dad is.
Daniel: And he wants to find him?
Melanie: No, not really. But I think it could make a world of difference in his life. Just like finding you made a big difference in mine. Will you help me?
Daniel: I’d do ... anything ... for you, kitten. Tell you ... what I’ll do. If you ... obtain ... a DNA sample from Nathan, I’ll ... run it ... through the National DNA Registry.
Melanie: Yay! That would be so great! How long until we get results?
Daniel: It depends ... on whether there’s a match ... in the system. What’s his mother’s name?
Melanie: Melissa Horton.
Daniel: Melissa. I love the name Melissa. I once knew a girl ... by that name.
Melanie: Earth to Dad.
Daniel: Sorry. I zoned out for a minute. Is there anything ... else you can think of that I need to know?
Melanie: Just one thing. Nathan can’t know that I’m doing this.


SALEM CITY PARK

Bo, Hope and Ciara are playing in the park. Bo tosses a beach ball to Ciara. She misses it and it rolls into the rose bushes. Ciara rushes to retrieve it and sees something unusual. She gasps.
Ciara: Oh no! Mommy, Daddy, help!


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

SUSAN AND EDMUND’S FLAT, ENGLAND

Later that night, Johnny comes into the living room wearing his pajamas. He’s crying.
Susan: Whatsa matter, junior?
Johnny: I don’t feel good. I want my mommy.
Susan: Your mommy’s clear across the pond, kiddo.
Edmund: Come ‘ere old chap. Tell us where it hurts.
Johnny points to his tummy.
Edmund: Susan, love, what did you feed the child?
Susan: Just his dinner. Yorkshire pudding with hot cottage cheese aspic.
Edmund: It was particularly nummy tonight, love.
Susan: And just before I put him down to sleep, I gave him a bananer and peanut butter sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk.
Edmund: I shouldn’t think that would harm the lad. Elvis Junior loved them when he was Johnny’s age.
Susan: Elvis the King loved them too. Say, Johnny, wanna hear a story about yer daddy when he was little?
Johnny shakes his head “yes.” Susan puts Johnny on the couch beside her and the boy rests his head on his grandma’s lap as she starts telling her story.
Susan: Once upon a time there was a little boy named Elvis Junior, “EJ” fer short.


KIRIAKIS MANSION

The doorbell rings and Henderson escorts the visitor into the living room where Vivian is.
Vivian: Ivan! What are you doing here?
Ivan: Is that the way you greet your husband?
Vivian nervously embraces Ivan.
Vivian: I’m so glad to see you darling. Just surprised is all. What brings you to Salem?
Ivan: You do. Augustine called me and told me I need to rain you in.
Vivian: You mean rein me in.
Ivan: Don’t make fun of my English.
Vivian: I can’t believe Gus called you. I’ll have to fire him in the morning.
Ivan: You can’t fire him. He’s our son. And it’s high time you treated him like a son instead of like your servant. Just because I let you treat me like a servant doesn’t mean you should do the same thing to Augustine. Now, what’s this I hear about you marrying Victor Kiriakis?
Vivian: Ha ha. Oh that. It was merely a ruse, darling. It’s nothing, really.
Ivan: Good. Then let’s go back home to Czechoslovakia.
Vivian: But my work here isn’t done!
Ivan: Oh yes it is. Come Madam! We are going home.


To be continued ...

[Kpatch]

NICHOLAS ALAMAIN’S HOME, SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

The doorbell rings and Mrs. Alamain opens the door to find Philip on the other side.
Mrs. A: Hi, can I help you?
Philip: Yes. I’m looking for Nicholas Alamain. Does he live here?
Mrs. A: Yes. You look like someone I used to know.
Philip: I do?
Mrs. A: Yes. You remind me of a guy named Austin Reed.
Philip: Austin is my brother. You know him?
Mrs. A: I used to. My name is Greta. Are you from Salem?
Philip: That’s right.
Greta: Come on in. Have a seat. I’ll get my husband.
Greta leaves to get Nicholas as Philip sits on the sofa. He gets up again as Greta returns with Nicholas, who shakes Philip’s hand as he introduces himself.
Nicholas: Hello. I’m Nicholas. And you are?
Philip: Philip Kiriakis. It’s great to see you again, Nicholas.
Nicholas: Well I’ll be darned. Philip! It’s been ages. What a great surprise. Greta’s been feeling homesick for Salem.
Philip: Actually, that’s the reason I came. I mean, because of family. I was hoping to talk you into a trip to Salem.
Nicholas: There’s nothing there for me.
Philip: Does the name Melanie Layton mean anything to you?


TITAN HEADQUARTERS

Victor: What did you find out? Why is the moving company dunning me?
Justin: The Leaning Tower of Pisa Moving Company has Mafia ties.
Victor: Oh good grief.
Justin: Well, if you wanted a company with expertise in moving bodies, why didn’t you just use Titan’s own shippers?
Victor: Because, it was precious cargo they were carrying. When I had Isabella’s body moved from Italy to Salem, I wanted to make sure she was handled with care and respect. Besides, I didn’t want John to know. He was running Dimera’s shipping interests at the time, nosing into my business, and he was behaving like an donkey’s rear-end, so ...
Justin: Ah, now I understand. You went behind John’s back to exhume Isabella’s body.
Victor: I always resented John for burying my daughter so far away. There’s no one left in Italy to visit with her. Now that she’s here in the Kiriakis mausoleum, the people who love her can visit her as often as we like. She’s in a much better place now.
Justin: You are such a sentimental guy, Uncle Vic.
Victor: So ... Mafia, huh? How much do they want?
Justin: They want another 50 Grand.
Victor: Extortionists. Fine, pay them off. And send Nico to bring them their final payment.


To be continued ...