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Post by slyn11 on Apr 23, 2012 15:30:24 GMT -5
A/N - Chapter 8 in three parts since it ran so so long and I doubt you want to read a forty page update. So digestible chunks it is. First up..Melanie...
Thanks to all the readers and comments. I love hearing from people and you really keep me motivated to write.
I hope you will check out my discussion thread for commentary and spoilers.
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Chapter 8 #1
She had made it through class, barely holding it all in, resisting the urge to crawl under her desk and cry. They had the little one piece desk and chair connected thingies in her class, so it wouldn’t have been discreet, and it definitely would have garnered way too much attention. Melanie still had to think about appearances. Chloe may have been the center of all the media scrutiny but Melanie still was on their radar. She was the wife of Philip Kiriakis, the media was just as eager to see her reactions to all the turmoil and tragedy that had befallen them this past year. Now that the news had leaked that Philip had come out of his coma, things were only bound to get worse. Victor had tried to protect them from it all, by getting injunctions and making numerous threats to withhold donations and financial support, but when a story this big hits a small town, an invasion is inevitable.
Rushing down the stairs that led from the Nursing School wing of the hospital to the main building, Melanie’s head started to spin. Once she reached the bottom landing she leaned her head against the cool white brick wall and closed her eyes, willing the dizziness to stop.
“Melanie. Hey!” Her eyes shot open at the interruption. Stephanie Johnson had popped up beside her on the stairs, looking cheery like a ray of sunshine in a fitted yellow dress.
“Stephanie,” said Melanie, attempting to smile weakly, but fearing her face was more likely in a grimace.
“Are you okay? You don’t look so good,” said Stephanie leaning forward and peering into Melanie’s face.
“Just tired,” said Melanie instinctively shifting away from the other girl.
Stephanie smiled brightly at Melanie, although something about the way her eyes crinkled made her smile seem less sincere. “So have you seen Nathan?”
“Nathan?” asked Melanie wondering why Stephanie would go there with her, now of all times. “Why would I have seen Nathan?”
Stephanie shrugged, tossing her long brown hair over her shoulder. “Just figured you might have. He got that fellowship at Johns Hopkins.”
“That’s great,” Melanie smiled. “I knew he could do it.”
“Yeah, he has made everyone here so proud. It’s great news. Even better news for you right?”
“What are you talking about?” asked Melanie, confused.
“Well with Nathan leaving you won’t have to be torn between two lovers anymore. You can pour all your energy into Philip,” Stephanie stated, her tone overly upbeat. “That is until the next distraction comes along.”
Melanie sighed, bored that once again she was being forced to have a conversation about Nathan. “I’ve never been torn, Stephanie. I'm fully committed to my husband.”
“So do you always write secret love letters on your wedding day to men you have lukewarm feelings for?”
“I don’t have time for this,” said Melanie pushing past Stephanie and heading down the hall. “I need to get back to Philip.”
“Right, you run along Melanie,” Stephanie called after her. “Enjoy your big romantic reunion with your hubby. Oh wait you can’t do that, can you?”
Melanie stopped in her tracks, and turned back toward Stephanie. “Do you have a point? Or are you just here killing time because you have no life?”
“My point is that with three years erased from Philip’s mind makes it pretty hard to have any sort of reunion doesn’t it?” asked Stephanie as she walked up the hallway to where Melanie was now standing. “I mean isn’t it ironic, that out of all the periods of time that Philip could have blanked out, he chose the one with you in it. It was like he wanted to purposely forget all about you. Must suck huh?”
“You really are a piece of work. How can you stand here and mock what we’re going through?”
It had been in his eyes. She realized that now. The same blue that darkened with his moods, staring back at her, blank without depth of emotion. Without recognition. Sure he had laughed and flirted with her, listened to her chatter incessantly, but there had been nothing there. He might have reacted the same way to anyone else, a circus clown, a trained seal, or the television.
“I think Philip will be fine. He’ll recover, healthy and strong as ever. He’ll find out about Parker, he’ll reclaim his life.”
“He lost three years. That’s not fine,” said Melanie, tears starting to sting in the back of her eyes as she thought about how upset Philip was earlier that day.
“I look at it this way. He remembers what’s important. His family, his friends, and most of all Chloe, the woman he shares a child with. I think he has all he needs for a bright future. You on the other hand, are totally unnecessary. I don’t think he’ll lose one wink of sleep when he finds out the only thing important he missed in the past three years is his impulsive decision to marry you.”
Melanie gulped down the lump that had formed in her throat. It was hard to deny the truth in Stephanie’s statements. Stephanie was right. Melanie was irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Who was to say that she wasn’t just a blip in his timeline, a love in a long string of others? They were just closing in on being married a year, and most of that year was spent with him in a coma, before that he had cheated and Melanie had planned to leave him. When you laid it all out, there really wasn’t much to see.
“You’re forgetting one thing Stephanie. If he has forgotten me, then he has forgotten you as well. Your little love affair happened in those three years.” Melanie didn’t feel like she had a leg to stand on in this fight but she couldn’t let it go. No way would she let Stephanie just have the upper hand.
Stephanie snorted, the contempt evident all over her body. “Every time you open your mouth, you further prove how stupid you truly are. Philip and I have known each other longer than three years. He may have forgotten our engagement, but he won’t have forgotten me. Can you say the same?"
“You’re such a bitch,” said Melanie coldly, shaking her head in disgust.
“Resorting to name calling. I must have struck a nerve.” Stephanie smirked. “Oh well, off to look for Nathan. Take care.” She bounced off down the hall, her brown hair swaying as she walked away.
Finally alone, the rumbling in her stomach started again. The rush of adrenaline from arguing with Stephanie must have kept the queasy feelings at bay for a bit, but they were back full strength now. Bracing herself with one hand on the wall, the other on her belly, Melanie inched herself toward the staff locker room. Steps from the doors, she had to break out into a run, bounding through the doors, flinging herself into a stall, where she quickly purged the meager contents of her stomach. Melanie heaved and wretched over the porcelain bowl for about five minutes, her ribs aching from the force of her movements. Her nose was running, and her face felt hot. She made her way over to the sink and splashed cold water over her head hoping it would help calm her body.
Melanie stared into the mirror above the sink, studying her reflection. Her blue eyes were wide and blood shot, red tingeing the normal whites. She was pale, more than usual, making her freckles stand out like polka dots on her face. She usually tried to cover her freckles, a habit that started in Europe. So many of Trent’s “friends” liked the freckles, that Melanie would cake on makeup attempting to cover them up and to somehow make herself less desirable to the men. In Melanie’s mind, if the men didn’t find her attractive, she wouldn’t have to be with them. Sadly that was far from the truth.
Philip had liked her freckles too, the first time he saw them, the night he proposed. She had washed her face before bed, momentarily forgetting that a sheer blue nightie and little girl freckles might be a bad mix. But Philip didn’t seem to mind. He said he liked seeing the real her, fresh and natural. He said finally she had stopped hiding from him. And she guessed she had.
Twenty-two freckles he had counted on her face that night, as he stared at her by the glow of the Christmas candles. No one had ever looked at her so closely before. Philip had been the only one that had seen all of her, inside and out, and had never once looked away. He had held her closer the more he saw, until finally he had told her he wanted to keep her forever. Melanie had thought forever sounded like a long time, she had been skeptical he would want her for that long. She had always been discarded and replaced by men once they had their fill. But Philip had made her start to believe in forever, that love could last. He almost had her convinced. Then he woke up and proved her right. Forever was fleeting, and he too, like all the rest, had grown weary of her, and found a way to have her discarded, and probably replaced.
With that thought her stomach churned again and she was back in the stall letting it all go. Her torment hitting the water, with every heave it dulled a bit more, numbing her senses to the pain. Then she was done, relieved and much calmer, and surprisingly dry eyed. She hadn’t shed a single tear since she had been with Philip earlier in the day. Where had all her tears gone?
At her locker, after brushing her teeth and changing into her street clothes, jeans and a baby blue tee-shirt, she lingered to look at the photos taped to her locker door, one of Parker, smiling in his crib, and the other of Philip, in a navy suit, with just a hint of a crooked smile on his face. Her two Kiriakis men, they were everything to her, all that she loved, all that she had ever wanted. A family completely her own, finally. But it was all lies, with her borrowed baby, and her barely there husband, Melanie realized she wouldn’t have much at all if she were to lose them.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” asked Melanie when she saw her father come through the doors of the locker room, dressed in his usual green scrubs.
“Looking for you. I thought you might need to talk or something,” Daniel replied.
Melanie turned back to her locker, pausing a moment to gain her composure, before shutting the door and facing her dad. “I’m fine. Really. You can stop looking at me like that.”
“You know I’m worried. Philip’s memory loss has to be a lot to take in.”
He reached out and stroked her arm, stopping when Melanie didn’t seem receptive to his comfort. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to her father, she just didn’t want to risk getting emotional now. She had to meet Maggie and Parker, she had to hold it together.
“I’m dealing,” she said. “He’s out of his coma, doing better, nothing’s more important than that.”
“It is remarkable and really good news, but that doesn’t change the rest of it. How are you doing really?” Daniel asked bending slightly at the knees to look her in the eyes.
“Dad, please, stop worrying,” she said moving away from him. She could feel herself starting to crack. “If you should be concerned for anyone it’s Philip. It has to be extremely hard for him right now. I’m sure he feels confused and distressed.”
“And you don’t feel those things? Confused and distressed?” He took a seat on the couch. “Philip doesn’t remember you at all.”
“I’m sure it’s only temporary. He just needs time,” she responded, playing with the lock on one of the locker doors.
“You have been singing that same song for months now…time, time time,” he said gesturing his arms wildly. “Can we just be honest with each other for a minute here?”
“I am being honest.”
“Philip might never recover those memories. What will you do then?”
She didn’t want to hear this. What did her father expect her to say? Of course she had been thinking about the fact his memory loss could be permanent, but she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on it or she would just fall apart. Memory or not, Philip still needed her to be strong for him.
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I just have to focus on helping him fully recover.”
When Philip had called out for her earlier, taking her hand, pleading for her with tear filled eyes, Melanie knew that no matter what else happened she wouldn’t leave him. Philip needed her in his life, to help him through this.
“Maybe it’s time you focus on yourself,” said Daniel pulling Melanie down on the couch next to him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you have spent months on Philip, doing everything for him to get him well, night and day, running yourself ragged. Then you added Parker into the equation, and you have no down time. Your whole life is about Philip.”
“Philip is my life.”
She looked over at her dad, finally realizing he would never understand, that was she felt for Philip was more real than anything else in her life. Loving him was the biggest and best thing that ever happened to her. Even with all the pain she would never change it.
“Maybe he shouldn’t be. You used to have dreams and goals before all of this. What happened to them?” asked Daniel as he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side.
“I finished school. I’m working. I have a family.”
Daniel shook his head slowly. “You finished school to help Philip, you only work taking care of Philip, your family is Philip’s family. Where are you in this scenario?”
“Dad…”
“I’m not trying to upset you,” he said raising his hands, cutting her off. “I just want to see my baby girl shine.” He smiled. “I want you to have the best possible life.”
“What if that best life is with Philip? Would you support me then?”
“I support you now. I am telling you all of this, because I love you. I just want you to think about things.”
Melanie stood up and walked across the room to lean against the bulletin board filled with course listings and job openings. “With all due respect, I think you’re telling me these things because you hate Philip.”
“I don’t hate Philip.”
“Yes you do. You blame him for ruining your life with Chloe. But if you blame him you should be blaming me too. It was my letter to Nathan that started all of this.”
“You didn’t make Philip and Chloe sleep together.” Daniel leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He looked upset just from talking about this subject. Melanie knew he tried to cover, but he still was in so much pain.
“Maybe not, but I did something that I knew would set Philip off. I knew if he found out about the letter and Nathan he would do something stupid. I guess I should be glad he only made a baby and didn’t end up committing murder.” She knew Philip so well. She knew his weaknesses and his hot buttons. Melanie had hit them all when she wrote that letter.
“See that right there is what I have been trying to say. You feel guilty.” Daniel got up and walked over to her, grabbing her by both arms, turning her to face him. “Guilty about Parker, guilty about the crash, about all of it, but guilt should not be confused with love. You don’t have to keep paying for these imaginary crimes you think you’ve committed.”
“I love him,” Melanie said, stepping away.
“Honey I know but…” Daniel started.
“Dad, I love him,” she pleaded, looking into his eyes, needing him to understand once and for all.
Daniel looked at his daughter and sighed. “What can I do to make this better?”
“You can just…” The room started to spin and she reached out for the wall to hold herself up, but it was nowhere to be found, she was falling.
“Melanie are you okay?” She heard her father’s voice from far away. Her vision blurred as she tried to search for the sound. Melanie stretched out her arm hoping he would grab her hand and catch her.
“I can’t breathe. Dad-” she said in panic, as her throat closed and everything went black.
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Next update - Chloe
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