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Post by blueyed358 on Nov 1, 2011 19:16:26 GMT -5
chapters 60-62
Jack pulled into the driveway. He sat a moment and took a deep breath. He knew based on Sara's reaction at the benefit , they were going to have a fight. The fact that he was coming in this late would make matters worse. He blew out a breath and got out of the car. All the lights were on and Jack came in and listened for a moment. He heard sounds in the kitchen, " Sara , I'm home. " He walked through the kitchen door and found Dean and Angela there. " Oh , hey . Did Sara go to bed already ? " Dean and Angela looked at each other , she knew her husband would not answer , so it was left to her. : Ahh, no Jack, actually she hasn't come home yet. " Jack stood staring at her , " Are you sure she isn't in bed already because she left before I did. " Angela shook her head , " I am positive, she is not here. " Jack flopped into a chair and loosened his tie. " She was really upset huh ? "
" Well Jack can you blame her? I mean they tricked her and she lost to your ex-wife. "
Angela pointed out to him. He nodded barely, he suddenly felt exhausted. " She didn't have to buy Ben though did she ? " Dean finally spoke up and answered this one. " Maybe she did. He went up there on purpose , everyone knows that. She couldn't just leave him hanging. What would you have done if the situation was reversed? " Jack looked down at the tie now in his hand, " I don't know. "
About forty five minutes after Jack got home Sara came through the door. She walked into the living room to find them all sitting there. Jack did not look happy. "Where have you been ?" Sara looked at them all , she may have had fun with Ben but she had not forgotten she was angry at what had happened tonight. When she didn't respond , he repeated the question, " Where were you ? " Sara looked at him and walked towards the kitchen , "Out"
She came back out with a bottle of water. " So did everyone have a good time tonight ? "
Jack studied her as she sat drinking her water, if he wasn't so annoyed at her he would have dragged her upstairs , there was something about her when she was like this that made her even more sexy. He remembered some of their most exciting nights had been after a fight over a political debate. " Why don't you just say what you mean ? You want to know if I had a good time. " Sara took a drink from her water bottle, after recapping it she said , " I am sure you did, you did spend the evening with the PERFECT woman, why would your night be otherwise. " Oh that's how she wanted to do this? Jack thought they would discuss it , maybe yell a bit, ok he can go there too. " What about you ? I am sure you and James Bond had quite the exciting evening. Let me guess , you two played Baccarat and drank Martinis , shaken , not stirred of course. " Sara's eyes narrowed and there was a slight curl to her lips. " And what did you evening entail I wonder. A night of romance no doubt. I can picture it now , strolling hand and hand talking sweetly to each other and then , " she couldn't stop the words from coming out , whether it was the alcohol of the anger and jealousy, they came out. " and then making love in a field of roses. " Jack's eyes opened wide and his jaw fell open. Did she just accuse him of sleeping with Jennifer ?
Now he was just plain angry he shot back at her , " Maybe it's your own guilty conscious that made you envision that little scene, perhaps James Bond had you clean his gun for him. Tell me did you call him 'My Hero!' " Jack and Sara were both standing now , oblivious to the fact that Dean and Angela were still in the room. Dean took his wife's hand and pulled her out of the room, " Well good night ! " They didn't even notice them leave , they stood glaring at one another. "Do you really think that I would sleep with Jennifer ? " Sara was breathing heavy , she just let the words come tumbling out without a second thought. " Well I don't know Jack you have admitted that you could never resist her. " Jack looked at her , the crease forming between his eyes, " I may be a lot of things Sara but unfaithful is not one of them. " He turned and walked into the kitchen to get his own bottle of water , she came in on his heels , " And you think I would be unfaithful ? That I just swoon over any man that comes on to me..oh wait that would be Jennifer. " Jack slammed his bottle down " That's enough ! You deliberately bought him to spite me . "
Sara snapped back "You are damn right I did ! They got one over on me , I will give them that. And that smug look on look on her face.. " Jack took a step towards her , " You knew he entered so you could buy him . He saw an opportunity and you gave it to him. " Sara stepped towards him now, " And you didn't ? , even after the underhanded way she won, you played the perfect escort , I am sure you didn't give me a second thought. All she had to do was those bat those eyes and I am sure you .. " Jack now threw the bottle on the floor, " And all he had to do was flex those muscles and you just... " Sara's words halted him , " Did you sleep with her Jack ? " Jack shook his head , " How can you even ask me that ? " Sara took a deep breath , " It's easy I open my mouth and the words come out. Did you Jack ? " Jack swallowed , ' No I did not, I would not do that to you..to us. Did you sleep with him, maybe out of spite or jealousy because you thought that's what I was doing?
Sara sighed deeply , " No , I would never do that. " Jack looked at her , his features softening , " You do believe me don't you ? " Sara nodded , " I do , and you ? " Jack gave a small smile , " I will always believe you. Do you wish me to tell you about the evening? "
Sara shook her head , " No , I don't think I could handle that right now. You? " Jack shook his head , " No..I trust you. " Sara sighed again, " I am totally exhausted, I am going to bed"
She headed out of the kitchen and went upstairs , with Jack following behind her turning out the lights and locking the doors.
Sara reached the top of the stairs and opened her door , " Good night Jack. " she walked into her room, Jack stood staring at her , "Are we sleeping in here tonight ? " Sara looked surprised , " No , Jack, I am sleeping in here , you are sleeping in your room. " She started closing the door on him and his hand shot out , " Sara tonight was not my fault , but you still blame me for it ? " Sara rolled her head in a circle , " I know it wasn't your fault and no I don't blame you. " Jack moved closer , " But your punishing me for it , putting walls between us. " Sara looked him in the eyes , " Yea , I guess I am, go to bed Jack. " with those words she closed the door.
Jack decided he did not like the way things had ended with Sara. They were in a relationship and that meant they worked together and she shut him out. He could not let her get away with that. No they should be sleeping in the same room , the same bed . He
had a bit more confidence in himself and with Sara , he wasn't afraid of making a misstep
like he used to be. He wanted to be in bed with her and that's were he was going. He went down the hall and opened her door. She was not sleeping but pretending to be. He walked to the side of the bed and got under the covers. Sara sat up and said " What are you doing Jack. " Jack moved around finding a comfortable spot . " You said go to bed so I am. " Sara sat there looking at him in the dark , hands behind his head laying on his back, " No Jack, this is my place, remember?" she said referring to when they played that it was her own apartment. " Go back to YOUR place. " Jack sighed and closed his eyes, " I am , my place is here with you. " Sara just looked at him, she knew she was treating him badly for something that was not his fault. Maybe she was feeling a bit guilty too for having more fun with Ben then she intended. She laid back down , pulled the covers up and turned onto her side and closed her eyes.
Jack lay in bed, his mind racing. Feeling better already that he had won a small battle.. He tried to figure out how the night had got away from him. He did in the end have a nice evening with Jennifer. Jack thought about what she had told him , he was glad she was going to talk to someone about her issues and he knew he would have to be there for her if she so needed.They could be friends he thought , have lunch do things with their children , but he would need to be a bit more careful. Kissing her was a temptation he could not afford. She would always be his addiction but he had learned how to live with it and this addiction was not what he needed now. He knew , finally he could live a full live without it , he would of course still want to be able to see her and speak to her, but it was no longer the driving force of his life. Maybe this is what they both needed to each become a whole person , capable of standing on their own . He knew too that if things with Sara did not work out , he would still be Jack Deveraux and that felt damn good.
Sara first opened her eyes and felt the weight of Jack's arm around her waist. His chin resting on top of her head. She sighed deeply remembering the night before. She knew she would not stay mad at him long..making up would be nice, a small smile on her face. But today was her worst day and she knew she would wallow in it. Jack started to move and she closed her eyes , pretending to be asleep. He opened his eyes and looked down at her, brushing the hair from her face. He kissed her temple , then her ear and then her neck. She did not move, now he sighed. He stayed in bed a bit hoping she would wake but she did not. Jack got up and showered, still she slept, he went to his room dressed and went downstairs. Sara had fallen back asleep , when she woke again she got up and got ready for the day.
Jack sat at the table with Dean and Angela. " It got pretty ugly. " Jack said , referring to the fight last night. " We heard, " Dean said, " I mean we couldn't really help it , you guys got pretty loud." Jack nodded, they had gotten quite animated. " Jack , " Angela said trying to find just the right words, " She isn't going to be herself today. You might have to just give her some space. " Jack frowned , " You think she will still be angry ? " Angela opened her mouth but before she could speak Sara came in. " Hey" was all she said. " Can I get you something to eat or some coffee perhaps? " Jack asked , she looked tired but lovely though it was obvious she didn't even try. Her hair still damp , no make up, she wore jeans and a tee shirt . " No , thanks. I think I will go out for coffee. " Jack opened his mouth but Angela jumped up , " Give a minute, I will throw on some clothes and go with you." Jack noticed that Sara did not make eye contact with anyone , which is something she always did . " No , I just want to go alone. " She turned and went to the door " Sara, " Jack called out " When will you be back? " she spoke over her shoulder as she walked through the kitchen door, " In a little while. " Jack turned to his friends, " This isn't just about last night is it ? " His cell phone rang, " Hi Daddy ! " Jack heard the sound of his son's voice, he could hear his brother in the background egging JJ on to say something else, " Ok, ok..how are you dude? " Jack choked on his coffee, " Tell your Uncle that's not funny."
As Sara opened the front door she walked straight into Jennifer. " Oh this is just perfect. What are you doing here Jennifer ? " Jennifer couldn't help it, she got a twinge of satisfaction thinking Sara was still upset over last night. " I was driving by and I thought I would drop off the rest of the research I did. I went as far as I could with it. If you want , I could come by and give you a hand trying to dig up more. " Sara's head was pounding , " I will tell you what I want , I want you to stop showing up here unannounced, as I have already told you. As far as the research goes I can handle that myself. " Jennifer stuck her chin out , " Fine , here , " She shoved the folder at Sara. " While I am at it , I didn't appreciate the little scam you and your aunt and cousin ran on me last night. Are you so desperate you have to resort to that ? What's the matter the damsel in distress routine not working ? " Sara snapped . Jennifer shot back, " I have no idea what you are talking about and as far as damsel in distress I never claimed to be that. I can't help it if Jack is protective over me. And while I am at it,You better get use to that. Jack and I are connected , here " She said tapping her chest, " and no matter what happens between us nothing can ever changed that . We always find a way to be together in some way and nothing or no one can come between us , not even ourselves, as hard as we have tried. " Sara couldn't even see straight she was so mad , the pounding in her head increasing. " Let me tell you something , I have a connection with him too, though you are loathe to admit it. But I have a slight advantage at the moment and that is I am HERE , in this house with him, " She would hit Jennifer hard now, not really meaning to but at the same time not even to try and stop it. " In this house and in his bed, and we are enjoying every minute of it. Sometimes it can be romantic or passionate , tender or wild but it's always incredible. But it isn't just great sex, we know each other and I let him be whoever feels like being. We stimulate each other physically , mentally and emotionally. You may very well be right , in the end, but I am not just going
to throw my hands up in the air and say, Oh well Jennifer wants him back I guess I will just go away quietly. That isn't who I am. Now if you will excuse me I need to go by something nice for tonight , make up sex can be so hot , don't you agree? Jack is in the kitchen if you want to go in and see him. " Sara walked away , when she reached her car she had to cover her mouth to stifle the sob that threatened to escape. Jennifer stood in the doorway, Sara's words halting her breath in her chest. She knew of course they were intimate but she tried not to think about it. She was only focused on the emotional attachment Jack had formed with Sara. Now the physical was throw in her face to acknowledge , something she had been refusing to do. She could not face Jack right now.
Jennifer went to her car and drove away.
Sara came out of the church having lit a candle, she found a bench in the small quiet cemetery. She sat and the tears came. Seven years , seven years ago today god had taken him from her, " Robbie , I miss you so much. "
" Why didn't she tell me? " Jack asked them. " She always spends the day alone. I am sure she will tell you later Jack. It's like she saves up all her hurt and bottles it up, then she releases it all on this one day. We all handle grief in a different way. Dean and I chose to celebrate his life on this day instead of be sad, we watch home movies of him and.." Jack's eyes opened wide , his head turned quickly " May I see them ? " Dean smiled at him sadly " Of course." They sat at the computer and Dean ran the video. Angela would tell him what , where and when each clip was from. Jack watched his son go from infant to young man in the span of an hour. He looked so much like Jack it was incredible. The deep rich voice that of his father too. The raised eyebrow the crooked smile, but he had his mother's zest, he was always smiling and joking around. Then there was a clip of him driving his new car away for the first time, there he was , Ben with his arm around Jack's son joking around. He was there again at his High School football game cheering him on. At his graduation and his graduation from boot camp in his dress uniform. When the video was over Jack stood , " Thank you so much for giving me a chance to glimpse his life. If you could I would very much like a copy of that. I have to go meet someone , please tell Sara when she gets back that I wont be long. " and he was gone. Angela turned to Dean , " Do you think we did the right thing , with Jack? " Dean kissed his wife , " Yes , he has the right
to see his son , hear his voice. It was the right thing to do. " Dean's phone buzzed and he answered it " Oh hey, what's going on. No she isn't here. She isn't ? Well you know what today is don't you ? Ok..ok sorry....I don't think that's necessary , she will be back soon...I know but she WANTS to be alone. Alright we will keep trying too..bye. " Angela looked at him , " That was Ben right? " Dean nodded. " Is he going to find her ? " Dean blew out a breath , " Yup, he said he knows were she would be. "
Jack and Jennifer sat in the Java Cafe. " Well that's great Jennifer , whens your next appointment? " She told him it was next week and then she told him the therapist said how important it was to have a good support group. "I am very proud of you and I want you to know that I want to be a part of your support group. You and I have always been best friends , I see no reason why that should change. So I propose that you and I have lunch once a week to talk and just ..well..you know..be friends." Jennifer beamed at him, " Oh Jack , that would be wonderful , I accept your offer," Then Jennifer stuck out her hand, a gesture she had done hundreds of times before. Jack smiled and took her hand and shook it , like he had always done and always will do.
Ben canvassed the city until he found the small cemetery. He walked around until he found her. He said nothing but sat beside her. After a few moments she looked at him and said " What do you want? " He knew how he wanted to answer, he wanted to tell her it was her that he wanted only her, but he did not. " I just wanted to be with you , I didn't want you to be alone. " Sara turned away from him , " Well I don't want to be with you , not today , not ever. " Ben tugged on his ear , " What did I do ? Tell me please what I did to you and don't tell me this has anything to to do with that bartender. You and I have been playing yo-yo for years now . Tell me Why? " She stood up without looking at him , " Ok , I 'll tell you why. Because you took my son away from me , you are responsible ." Sara ran from him to her car. Ben stood with his mouth open , " What ? Sara! ..Sara wait ! "
Sara came through the front door slamming it shut, tears streaming down her face. Dean was on the sofa. He jumped up and Angela came running out of the kitchen , ' What the
hell? Sara what is it ? " The front door flew open and Ben came thundering into the house.
" Get out ! " she screamed . " No you tell me what the hell that was suppose to mean ! " Dean turned to Ben " What the hell is going on ? " Ben stood hands on his hips " That's what I want to know. Well ? Tell me Sara. " Sara was fighting for control , a battle she lost
it all came spilling out of her now , "I came to you and I begged you to help me talk him out of the Marines . He listened to you, he idolized you ! But you just couldn't do it could you. No ! You wanted him to be a Marine just like you had been didn't you ? You encouraged him ! You sent him off with a pat on the back. You sent him off to die. " She flung herself at him , punching him and pushing him " You killed him , you killed my son." Dean and Angela stared at each other , they had suspected that Sara had somehow
blamed Ben all these years for Robert choosing the Marines , which led to his death. She had blamed him but she loved him too, that's why she would want to pull away but would come back to him or take him back. Ben grabbed her by the wrists " Stop it ! Sara stop saying that ! I would have given my life for that kid.." His voice cracking with emotion. " You have it all wrong ! That day he came to me , he had already enlisted , I told him you were going to kill him. But he didn't come to me for advice about which branch of the military to join, he came to ask me for help in telling you ! Robbie was his own man , he made his own choice. " Sara burst into tears,"No, you are liar. " Ben whispered in her ear ,
" I know you need to blame someone, but Baby, please believe me I had nothing to do with his decision , I loved him too. " He released her and she collapsed on the sofa, he went to her and rubbed her back , he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and found blood." That's why you have been running from me ? " She only nodded. " I love you Sara..." She got up and ran to the stairs passing Jack as he came in. " Sara ? " He turned and saw Ben there . Every face in the room filled with pain , Angela was crying. " Somebody tell me what's going on " Ben went to the steps , to go after her. Jack grabbed his arm , " Stay the hell away from her. " Ben grabbed Jack by the shirt and pushed him against the wall , how easy it would be to let his anger out on him. Dean shoved Ben back, Jack came forward and Dean shoved him back as well," Back off, both of you. he said. " What did you say to her ? Jack said clenching his jaw. " Ben stepped back , " It's none of your business,." Jack stepped forward " Sara is my business , get out of my house, and stay the hell away from her , from us. " Ben walked to the door " I am sorry Jack , I can't do that. " Jack moved towards the door telling Ben , " You will not come between us I won't allow it. " Ben exhaled , calming himself , " You can't stop it , just like you can't stay away from your ex-wife. " As he walked out the door her heard Jack say " Just watch me. " as he slammed the door shut.
Jack had held Sara for a long time. As she cried he found himself shedding tears for the son he would never know. She told him how sorry she was for not telling him about Robert and although he would never get over that, he knew he would have ruined all their lives had she told him . She had a rough two days and he wanted to do something for her.
He went into his bathroom which had a large whirlpool tub , he light candles and added some of her soothing bath salts to it. When the room was ready he went back to get her.
" Come on , you need to unwind. " Sara made a face , " I don't like baths Jack " Jack tugged on her arm, " Please ? For me ? " Sara sighed and nodded , she didn't have any fight left in her , she was emotionally and physically drained. She looked so small and fragile, he had never recalled every seeing her that way and his heart ached at the sight . She looked up at him with red rimmed and puffy eyes. he removed her shirt and undid her pants and slid them down to the floor. He removed her satin undergarments and then he lifted her into his arms and placed her in the tub. " Now you just soak there , I will be back in a moment."
Jack went downstairs and got Sara some cheese and crackers and wine. When he came back into the bathroom Sara had a wet cloth over her eyes and a small smile on her face. " You were right Jack , this feels great, " she said as she removed the cloth. " Good...I am glad , here, " he handed her a wine glass, and placed a piece of cheese in her mouth. " Thank you for this . " Jack smiled sweetly, " How about a little soft music ? " Jack sat on the floor next to the tub and they talked , not about Robert , Ben or Jennifer but just talked about everything from politics to what they would do for dinner tomorrow. Jack watched her as she talked the hurt, anger and sorrow of the past two days melting away, his breath caught as he saw how her eyes sparkled in the candle light. She saw the look on his face , recognizing that fire in his eyes. He felt compelled to lean over and move the hair out of her eyes. " That's better, " he whispered. She shook her head , " No, but I know what would make it better.. do you ? " He exhaled slowly , he leaned forward and kissed her , it started softly and built , Jack stopped to catch his breath but Sara grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to her again. When their lips parted they touched their foreheads to one another.
" This is an awfully big tub , I am very lonely in here, " Sara whispered shyly . Jack raised his head and placed his lips to her forehead , " Well we can't have that can we. " Jack pulled off his shirt , and removed his pants and boxers. He slipped into the water and sat at the other side of the tub, with a smile on his face he asked, " " Better ? ' Knowing what her response would be. " No , not yet , " Sara moved around and placed herself between Jack's legs, her back on his chest , " Now that's better. " Jack wrapped his arms around her , " No,
I think it can be better still, he turned her around so she faced him, he kissed her mouth then her cheek settling on her neck. " Oh yes that is much better, " she said.
They were drying off and Jack took a towel and began drying Sara's hair, rubbing her head and then the ends of her hair, their eyes never leaving each other."I feel great, " Sara said. Their first encounter of the evening had been sweet and now Jack wanted something different. He dropped the towel and pulled her close his hands moving quickly all over her body , " Yes you do. " He lifted her up and placed her onto the dresser she wrapped her legs around him and ran her tongue up his neck to his ear. " Jack " was all she could get out before his mouth was on her and he was inside her. She jumped a bit when her back hit the coolness of the mirror. Both gasped for air , their bodies damp with the bath water and sweat , he pressed into her and Sara moaned and Jack answered with one of his own. His hands, roaming over her, came to rest in her long wet hair, he tugged slightly to pull her head back, biting and kissing her neck. She wrapping her fingers in his hair. They moved faster now , Jack struggling to hold himself back, he had to bring her to the edge first , then they could make the jump , going over the edge , together. He could feel her body tense she was ready, and as he released himself to her and she did the same , together.
They went downstairs to the kitchen, both hungry. Jack sat at the table in his pajama pants, Sara in her silk robe sat in his lap facing him eating a sandwich. Dean came through the door eyes half open , " Whoa !..ok I am probably still asleep , if I close my eyes again when I open them I wont see what I think I just saw." Jack stood up and placed Sara down taking her hand and their sandwich and they tip toed out of the room.
For the next few days Jack and Sara could not keep their hands off each other. When Angela mentioned it one night to Dean he said " I have an idea , " he said laughing . " Dean no practical jokes please , you know how you and Jackie get." Dean shook his head , " No , not a practical joke. " She eyed her husband closely, " What are you up to? " Dean gave her a sly smile , " Let me tell you what I have in mind. "
When Jack and Sara came downstairs for breakfast , looking exhausted but contented, Dean and Angela were already at the table. " Good morning, " Jack then Sara said. Sara poured her and Jack coffee. " What do we want for breakfast ? " Sara asked. " Oh don't worry about it, I am making you breakfast today. " Dean announced. He got up and went to the fridge, Angela came over to help him. They placed a head of lettuce and a couple of carrots on the table. " What is this for ? " Jack asked. " Well we just figured if you two want to act like a couple of rabbits you should like them too. " Dean and Angela laughed and gave each other a high five . Sara giggled into her hand, then cleared her throat, " Very funny. " Jack squinted and asked , " What's the matter Dean the old ball and chain get a lot of
headaches ? " Then to Angela . " Or is it that Dean's shoe size leaves something to be desired. " Now it was Jack and Sara's turn to high five. " Cute Jackie, you know I don't think that either of you could last two weeks without "IT" . " Dean said . " Oh please , you have no idea who you are talking to." Jack said . Dean laughed at him " Oh really ? " Jack narrowed his eyes , " Really , in fact I could out last all of you. . " Sara turned her head to Jack , " What you think you could outlast me ? " Jack smiled and shrugged . " Ok Jack , I will bet you one hundred dollars you cant go two weeks without sex. " Jack smiled back , " No, I think two hundred dollars , the first one to give in loses. " shaking his hand . The two women looked at each other, then Sara said , " You know Jack , I would like a side bet, the first one of us to give in..." and she whispered in his ear. Jack pulled back and smiled , " Ok you got it. "
They were looking on line for a movie when the doorbell rang. Jack answered it to find Lawrence standing there with a bouquet of roses. " Hello Jasper. " Jack felt his chest tighten. " What the hell are you doing here ? " Lawrence gave a fake smile, " I wish to speak with Miss Jamison, she is staying here is she not ? " Sara came up behind Jack , " She is . What can I do for you Mr Alamain ? " Jack stood arms folded in front of him. Lawrence spoke to Sara " Well I guess I am not to be invited in , I brought these for you. I wanted to thank you for bringing my wife's killer to justice . I always knew there was something off about Dr Jonas. " Jack snorted , " Well you would know . " Sara jumped in " You really should give those flowers to Agent Todd , he was the one who brought him to justice as you put it. " Lawrence didn't like her tone but handed her the flowers anyway. " I thought you should know I had my lawyer drop the lawsuit against you as well. Perhaps we could have dinner one night and discuss some things. " Jack spoke up " Fat chance. " Sara shot Jack a look. The hair on the back of her neck stood up when she looked at Lawrence. No Jack was right she thought , best to not fool around with him. " I am sorry..I don't think so."Sara said. Jack added , " Well you heard her , goodbye Lawrence, " and before another word was spoken Jack slammed the door in his face. Sara and Jack stood looking at one another . " What the hell was that all about ? " Sara asked him. " I don't know , " Jack said ,
" but we better find out. "
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