felineflash
Member
Toujours dans mon coeur, Maman.
Posts: 197
|
Being
Sept 3, 2011 21:29:22 GMT -5
Post by felineflash on Sept 3, 2011 21:29:22 GMT -5
Chapter 10 - Talking
Chloe was not at all pleased to find Victor finishing off a glass of brandy in the sitting room when they arrived. She braced herself for his venom, but he was very subdued, even cordial.
“Philip, Chloe,” he greeted them as he rose, “Looks like you got caught in the rain,” he stated the obvious.
“It’s like cats and dogs out there,” Philip said as he set down Chloe’s overnight bag.
“Well, you’re out of it now. Chloe, I had Henderson prepare a room for you in the east wing, I hope you’ll be comfortable there. I’ll have him bring up your bag. I know you won‘t mind that I’ll need to speak with Philip alone after you’ve had breakfast. Goodnight,” he nodded, and left the room.
“That was…weird,” Chloe remarked.
“I think it’s the stroke,” Philip replied. Whatever it is, it’s freaking me out. The last thing I need is for Dad to turn into a pod person. “I’m going to take a shower. Meet you down here in a bit?”
“Yeah. God, I’m soaked through.” She watched him leave, limping slightly as he made his way out of the room. We’re just talking, she thought as she followed, noticing that Henderson had already taken her bag from the foyer. And we’re going to talk. About everything. About him and Morgan. About us. About him. About everything. She realized as she entered her room that she didn’t even know the status of his relationship with Morgan. While he hadn’t sounded enamored with her this evening, for all she knew it was just a little bump in the road. But he talked about us. Not that that means anything. He talked about us before, and still ran to Morgan. She stripped off her wet clothes and stepped into the shower.
His phone was ringing again. He looked at the caller ID, Morgan again. Is she nuts? Time to set her straight, once and for all. “Hello, Morgan. If--”
“Thank God! I’ve been trying to get through to you all night. What did you do, turn off your phone?”
“As a matter of fact, I did. And if you don’t--”
“Philip, I’m not stalking you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m worried about my father…”
“I can’t help you,” he said dryly. He didn’t notice Chloe come into the room, but suddenly, she was there, pouring herself a drink. She looked at him, questioning if he wanted one as well, and he nodded.
“I’m calling to help you, Philip. He’s acting crazy. He keeps saying you’re going to get what’s coming to you, and he’s been on and off the phone all night, leaving the room so I can’t hear the conversation. Something’s going on, and I’m afraid…”
“Morgan, I can’t help your father. He got himself into this mess.”
“Philip, I’m trying to tell you that I think he’s planning to do something to you!” Morgan implored.
He laughed. “He’s not capable. Thanks, though. I appreciate your concern. Are we done now?” Paul’s coming after me? Right. I’m terrified. Shaking in my boots.
“Yes, yes we are. I wish you’d take me seriously, Philip. But I won’t call again,” she hung up, and he turned his phone off again.
He took the drink from Chloe and settled on the couch, gazing at her. Her hair was still damp, and she was in pajamas and a stunning purple robe. He felt underdressed in his sweat pants and pullover. We’re in pajamas, and I feel underdressed. “You look pretty,” he said softly.
Her face darkened and she put her drink down on the table, a little too hard. “I knew you were going to do this, I knew it!” she said angrily as she started to leave the room.
“What? What did I do? I just said you look pretty. You do,” he caught her arm.
“So now what? Let’s go upstairs and get busy?” She was livid. “We were supposed to talk. Talk. But as always, Philip Kiriakis assumes he’s going to get exactly what he wants. Doesn’t he always?”
“What did I do to piss you off? I told you you look pretty!”
“So that you could get what you want. You’ve always done that. You always do that. You’ve got this sense of entitlement, that everything is yours for the taking. Including people. You just keep gathering up your possessions. You just take anything you want,” her voice was low and angry.
“Chloe…that’s not true.” But it is, it is, isn’t it?
“It’s not? I was your possession once. Remember that? And Belle, and Claire? You chased them around the world, for God’s sake! You just couldn’t stand the thought of her being with someone other than you, could you?”
This talk is not going well. “Can you please sit down and calm down? I thought we were going to talk. I paid you a compliment. I’m not trying to get you into my bed, alright?” But I’d like to.
“Fine,” she huffed as she sat down across from him. She longed to be sitting near him, but was so infuriated with him right now she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Besides, she needed some answers, and she was somewhat afraid of what they may be. “Philip, tell me why you did that. Tell me why you put their lives in danger like that. Tell me why you scared Belle half out of her mind. I need to know, because frankly, your actions scared the hell out of me. And still do.”
That was a knife through his heart. She’s afraid of me. I don’t blame her. Sometimes, I’m afraid of myself. I should let her go. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve anyone good and kind. I’m capable of unspeakable cruelty. He felt tears welling up, thinking of what he’d put Belle and Claire though. And Shawn, he’d been so cruel to Shawn. He fought to keep the tears from sliding down his face, he wouldn’t let her see him cry. He took a deep breath and blinked the tears away. He would explain. He would try to explain the pain and the anger. He had to. “You want me to explain…”
“Yes, Philip. I need you to explain.” He’s trying not to cry. I should go to him, hold him…but I have to hear this. I have to know. And after I do, I may be more afraid than I am now. Oh, Philip…what happened to you?
He downed his drink, got up and poured himself another. He turned his back to her, he couldn’t watch as he told this story. I can’t undo the past. I have to face it. She’ll never understand it, but I have to face it. “I guess we’ll begin at the beginning. When it started to unravel,” he took a breath, “I always knew that Belle loved Shawn. I knew she’d never stopped. I knew I had lost her. I could feel it coming, the day she’d tell me that it was over. And then I was wounded…I lost my leg.” It still hurt saying that. Would it ever stop hurting? Would there ever be a day when he’d be able to be glib about it? When he’d be able to say, ’Yeah, I lost my leg’ without his heart contracting? “After that, everything changed. I knew she was just staying with me because of that, because she…felt sorry for me. But I thought I could make it work. Then we found out Belle was pregnant, and I really thought we’d made it. That I’d finally have it, a family. A normal family, like the Brady’s. I’d finally have what Shawn had had all of his life.”
He found that he was pacing, stopped. This was going to get harder, much harder. Pacing was doing no good, except for reminding him of what he’d lost and reawakening the dull throb in his leg he often felt when he focused on the fact that it was gone. Like so many other things. “And so we continued in our sham of a marriage, and decided to have another child. You know the gory details about that, and how I found out that Claire wasn’t my daughter.”
Oh, yes, I know. “Philip…”
“No, you asked. So just…let me finish. So Belle lost her and Shawn’s baby, and I lost Claire. I knew that Belle and I were over. Everything I’d had, everything I’d dreamed of, was just gone. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know where to go. So I pulled some strings, and I went back to the only place I could think of…hell. I re-enlisted. I mean, everyone says ‘war is hell’. But you don’t know the meaning of that unless you’re there. And I thought…well, that’s irrelevant,” he walked to the window and looked out at the rain.
She was shocked by what she knew would be the answer to her question, “You didn’t think you’d come back, did you? You didn’t plan to.”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think so, no. I don’t think I planned on coming back, not alive,” he finally turned and looked at her. She looked so beautiful, her hair drying in waves, her face bare of makeup. “I’m not that kid anymore, Chloe. The one you knew. He died a long time ago.”
She came to him and took him in her arms, but he wrenched free. “No,” he said firmly. “I’m not done. And when I am, you won’t even want to look at me,” he told her bitterly. “Just…just go sit down. Don’t touch me.” He rose his glass and was surprised to see that it was empty. Refilling it, he began again, “So then I was wounded again. I can’t tell you about that, or the few weeks before it, because I have absolutely no recollection of it. Suffice it to say, I got half my face blown off, as you know. I don’t remember much about the hospital, except for the only thing that kept me alive, the only person. Claire. Then Dad brought me home, and he and Henderson and Mom began the process of nursing me back to health. The pain…the pain was unbearable. It was blinding, it was mind-numbing. When I was somewhat lucid, I’d be terrified of what things would be like when the bandages came off. Was I going to look like Frankenstein or the Elephant Man? The one-legged monster of Salem?”
“You look like you, Philip. Always. In my heart, in my mind, in my eyes,” she said quietly, but didn’t go to him. He didn’t want her now, he had to go this one alone. She hated herself for goading him into it.
“Yeah, like I said to Morgan, I’m a miracle of modern medicine. I’m lucky. I know a lot of guys who weren’t. A lot of them,” he drank. “But the pain was…it made me crazy. I had to focus on something, I had to have a goal, a reason for going on. I had to have a reason not to give up. So I focused on one thing, getting Claire back, no matter who I had to hurt. I obsessed over it. It became my sole purpose in life, getting her back. And when I was well, that’s what I set out to do. But then it spiraled out of control. I could have that happy family again. I could force Belle to be my,” he hooked his fingers in quotation marks in the air, “'happy wife'. My perfect family. But Shawn was in my way, my obstacle, and I began to develop this hatred of him, this irrational hatred…” he stopped, his voice caught. “I chased them around the world. I threatened them, I put their lives in danger. I did things…” again, his voice caught, and Chloe could see tears glistening on his cheeks, “I did things that I can’t explain or take back. Horrible things. And I’m sorry, Chloe…I’m just so sorry…”
She sprung from the couch and rushed to him, gathering him in her arms. “I know you are, Philip, I know…” My darling, darling Philip. I know.
|
