Being (Read 26,275 times)

[MrsM]

Love the chapters!!!!

[felineflash]

Chapter 103 - Reboot the Reboot

“What the hell are you doing here?” Victor growled as he came into the media room.

“Hi, there, Victor, how are ya?” Nicole smiled icily.

“I asked--”

“I invited her, Dad,” Philip rasped.

“What on earth for?” Victor rose his voice.

“Granddad, how was your trip?” Brady came in behind Victor, trying to diffuse the situation. “I invited Nicole.”

“It’s clear Philip’s been drinking, have you?” Victor stared.

“Neither one of them invited me, I came of my own volition. I came to see Philip,” Nicole announced as both Philip and Brady looked at her, wide eyed.

“What the hell do you want with Philip?”

“She came as a friend, Dad. Just let it go,” Philip sighed.

“Have you lost your mind? Both of you? I want that tramp out of my house now.”

“No,” Brady and Philip declared in unison. “Sorry, Dad. You’re outnumbered,” Philip told him as he poured Nicole another drink.

“Fools. The both of you. And what are you doing drinking? I thought even you would be smart enough to not drink while pregnant,” Victor spat at Nicole.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room as the blood drained from Philip’s face and Brady stood agape. Philip cleared his throat uncomfortably, Brady shuffled his feet, and Victor stared at Nicole. Then Brady and Philip began simultaneously, “Granddad…” “Dad…”

“I miscarried, Victor,” Nicole said finally.

Victor’s face softened ever so slightly. “Oh,” he said flatly. “Tragic.” He looked at Philip and said, “I’ve arranged a meeting with Dr. Hahn here tomorrow morning, Lucas and Chelsea will be here as well. We’re going to have a video chat with Billie and Austin and discuss your mother’s treatment. I assume you’ll want to be present?”

“Of course,” Philip whispered somberly.

“Fine. I’m too tired to deal with this nonsense. I trust she’ll be out of the house by morning. Good night,” Victor cast a disapproving look at them all and stalked out of the room.

“Nicole…” Philip began.

“I’m so very sorry, Nicole,” Brady said.

“Oh, you two look like lost puppies. I was married to the man, remember? I know what he’s like. He despises me, I despise him. No big deal. Really,” she told them. “Why don’t you join us, Brady?”

“Uh, no thanks, I’d rather not. Not exactly my cup of tea these days,” Brady said apologetically. “But look, I’m going to bring you home, OK? Just come get me in the sitting room when you’re ready to go. I’ll be up,” he told Nicole.

“Gotcha,” she winked.

“Nicole, really…I’m so sorry,” Philip sighed as Brady left the room.

“Well, hell, Philip, he didn’t know. I mean, he was actually almost nice about it. We reboot the reboot,“ she chuckled as he gave her a strange look. “So, can we let it go now, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So, a video chat with the whole clan. I know the circumstances aren’t…”

“No, they’re not. But you know, that’s the one good thing that’s come out of this. We’ve all gotten closer. We get so caught up in our own lives and don’t even pick up the phone, but we’ve been in touch a lot since my mom got sick,” he stopped, drank, and spoke again, “hey, weren’t we talking about something more…uplifting before all of this?”

Nicole screwed up her face, “No,” she smiled ruefully. “Besides, I’ve got something to ask you before we start bouncing off the walls or something. And I want you to come clean,” she leveled her eyes at him.

“What?” He asked, bemused.

“I know you don’t sleep well. You were always up all night when I was here, and…well…I can tell you’re not sleeping well now. What is it? Insomnia? Are you a workaholic? Pain?” She stammered.

He stared at her for a moment before answering, “I am a workaholic. I guess it’s insomnia. I get achy sometimes, but it’s not pain, really…it’s…” he broke off, shrugging.

“What, Philip, what is it?” She asked desperately.

OK, now she’s acting weird. What the hell, might as well just let it all out. “Nightmares. The war, and all of that. The funny thing is, they’ve kinda stopped. I mean, I haven’t been sleeping well, being sick, but when I do sleep…I haven’t had one in about a week.” Ever since I had the second session with Dr. J., and we talked about them, they’re gone.

“How?” She searched his eyes.

“I don’t know. I guess…well, I…I talked to someone about them, finally.” Whoops. And Nicole of all people, the person least likely to keep a secret. “Just…um…I don’t really want anyone to know about that…”

“I’m asking because I keep dreaming,” she smiled as her eyes welled up with tears, “about my baby. And I can’t sleep. I mean, Pookie won’t even sleep in the bed with me, she goes to Chloe. Chloe sleeps like the dead.”

“I know,” he nodded.

“And she feels so guilty about it. She even apologized to me yesterday because Pooks won’t stay with me. She’s so sweet,” she smiled and shook her head. “I just want to sleep, you know? But every time I close my eyes and drift off, I imagine that I feel my baby kick. Or if I do get to sleep, I dream about…just holding her, smelling her. That baby smell, I mean, I can literally smell it. And I feel like I’m going to lose it,” her eyes widened as she looked at him. “I don’t know what to do!”

He reached over and took her hand, “You need to talk to someone, Nicole. A professional. I didn’t think it would help either, but it does. Talk to someone who understands. You’re not going to lose it,” he made a face, “maybe you shouldn’t take that from me, considering my history. But talk to someone. Promise me you will.”

“And you really think it will help?” She asked hopefully.

“I do. It might not stop the dreams, but you’ll have someone who will listen and understand you, and guide you through this. And you can always, you know, come to me, if you want,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Philip. Really. I guess maybe I’ll ask Marlena, although I’m not her favorite person.”

“I’ve been on her list,” Philip smirked, “but she’s professional. She’ll steer you in the right direction,” he glanced at the coffee table, “your purse is shaking.”

“Oh, damn. I left the phone on vibrate,” she grabbed her purse and dug around for her phone. “It was Chloe, she left a voicemail,” she told him, listening. “The show went great…they went out for a bite afterwards and she left her phone on the bus…she’s exhausted and going to bed…you are an ass…aw, she said ‘but’…that’s it. She said goodnight, and not to get too plastered.”

Philip shifted uncomfortably and smirked, “But?”

“That’s all she said. ‘But’. All romantic like,” Nicole grinned.

“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. Alright, Dimples, Pookie’s probably about to explode. I’ve got to find my man servant and get myself home,” she rose and gathered her belongings.

“Yeah, it’s late. Thanks for coming by,” Philip followed her out into the hall as she called for Brady. “Try to get some sleep tonight, OK?”

“Said the pot to the kettle,” she chuckled as Brady appeared and they walked out of the front door.

[MrsM]

Awww. Love it!

[fluffysmom]

I'm glad that Nicole and Philip were able to talk about her dreams and about therapy. It was really nice of Nicole to come over and visit Philip. I'm so glad that she's trying to get Philip to talk to Chloe and straighten everything out. LOL at Nicole calling Brady her manservant. Thanks FF. I'm looking forward to what happens next.

[Kpatch]

Nicole is like a breath of fresh air. She just tells it like it is. And Victor! You absolutely nailed him, Fifi. I can visualize the way he looks and his grunts and his inflection when he said "tragic." Great stuff. Philip definitely seemed hopeful after Nicole told him what Chloe said on the voicemail.

I hope you get bored and post another surprise chapter. LOL. This story is still great, even 103 chapters later!

[fluffysmom]

I could definitely picture Victor in those scenes. He was probably afraid Nicole would end up in one of their beds.

[felineflash]

An early morning Wednesday Being. Enjoy.

---

Chapter 104 - One Step at a Time

He’d stayed up all night the night before the video chat, compiling a list of questions for Dr. Hahn. The chat itself was organized chaos, with everyone talking over each other. He’d finally had to take charge and moderate the thing so that everyone got their questions answered and Dr. Hahn was able to say what she needed to say. Everyone had commented on how horrible he looked, which he’d expected, and Dr. Hahn’s prognosis hadn’t changed, which he’d expected. But it had been good to discuss it as a group, regardless how disorganized it had been.

The rest of the weekend had passed uneventfully. He hadn’t gotten much sleep, and Chloe hadn’t called, so he hadn’t called her. I will not grovel. Nicole had told him that the concert organizers had added a Sunday night show, so he hoped that he’d at least hear from or possibly even see Chloe today. Maybe, even, if I get the cast off, I can just go see her myself.

At the moment, he was watching the weather, rattling his keys, and waiting for Brady. He’d asked Brady to give drive him in his car to the hospital so that if he got the cast off, he’d be able to drive himself home, and he was anxious. Anxious to get the cast off, to stand, to drive, to be in his own bedroom, take a real shower, not have to rely on anyone for help to get around. Anxious to be me again. I just want this damn thing off, now. If Kayla doesn’t take it off today, I swear I’ll use a buzz saw and do it myself. He at least somewhat resembled a human being today, he’d shaved and dressed in a black cashmere sweater and packed a pair of jeans in his backpack, along with his right shoe. Two shoes! Jeans! The world awaits me! He still looked haggard, but, one step at a time. What the hell is Brady doing? The doorbell rang, and a moment later, Chloe stood in the doorway.

“Hey,” she said.

“Chloe! What are you doing here?” He asked, surprised.

She rolled her eyes impatiently, “I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I do, I do,” he told her, “but I can’t right now…”

“Fine,” she sighed, leaving the room.

“Hey, wait…I mean…Chloe!” He started to follow, but his backpack caught on a chair and stopped him in his tracks. “Damn it, Chloe, wait!” He called, trying to unhook himself.

As she was walking out, she nearly literally bumped into Brady. “Hey,” he greeted, looking at her strangely. “What’s wrong?” He asked, taking note of the frustrated look in her eyes.

She shrugged, “I came to talk to Philip, but of course, he hasn’t got the time. So just tell him to call me whenever he might be free, OK?”

“Woah, girl, hang on a second there. Let me walk you out,” Brady took her elbow and held the door open for her. “He’s got a doctor’s appointment, that’s why. The cast might come off today. I’m supposed to be bringing him…now, actually. But you know what,” he looked at her, a twinkle in his eyes, “I think something’s come up. Why don’t you bring him?” She looked at him for a moment, contemplating, then nodded. “I’ll get his keys,” Brady told her, heading back inside.

Five minutes later, Chloe sat at the wheel of Philip’s car, watching him in the rear view mirror as he tucked the wheelchair into the trunk. He then hobbled along, using the car for support, to the passenger side and got in, finally realizing that she was in the driver’s seat and not Brady. “Chloe,” he started in a patronizing tone, “I do want to talk. Really. I do. But I really need to get to my doctor’s appointment right now, and Brady’s bringing me, so…”

“Nope, Brady’s actually not bringing you. He’s indisposed. I’m bringing you instead,” she told him, donning her sunglasses and starting the engine.

“Oh,” he replied, looking at her. “Good,” he nodded.

“Before we go, I want to know something. I want to get it out in the open, before we even start talking about anything else,” she said, turning to him. “You know that you look like absolute hell, huh?”

“I’m aware. Thanks. Is that it?”

“No,” she sat for a moment, facing him, and he looked at his reflection in her sunglasses. “I want to know,” she began slowly, “I need to know…if you actually believed that I had any sort of deal with your father. Can you tell me that, Philip, truth?”

He fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment. This is not going that well. “Honestly, in the moment, yes, I did…” He got no further in his confession before she slapped his face. “Ow! What the hell?”

“You really don’t know me at all, do you?” She spat. “So, what, you thought these past few months with you were a ruse? I was with you because I felt sorry for you? Are you really that much of an idiot, Philip? Really? Are you that insecure around Brady? God, Philip!” She shook her head as she put the car in gear.

Really not going well at all. “You asked for the truth,” he pointed out. “I didn’t expect to be beaten for it.”

“You deserve to have some sense slapped into you,” she replied, eyes on the road. “That hurts. You know that? That hurts more than anything you could ever do or say to me, Philip.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I really am.”

They didn’t speak again until they pulled into the parking garage. She started to turn into a spot, but he stopped her. “Not here, park near the elevators,” he told her.

“But those are handicapped spots,” she countered.

“Yeah,” he rose his eyebrows. “And here I thought the only reason you were ever with me was for the good parking spots,” he chuckled, but she didn’t even crack a smile. And that attempt to lighten the mood went nowhere.

She pulled into the spot and shut off the engine, “Do you want me to get the chair?”

“I got it,” he answered, “look…I really do want to talk. Really talk. If you want to. But Kayla’s probably the only doctor on earth who actually sees you at your appointed time, so…I’ve really got to go,” he opened the door and made his way around to the back as she got out and watched. When he was settled in the chair, he looked up at her. “Will you stick around, please? I’m not sure if the cast is going to come off or not, and if it doesn’t, I’ll still need a ride. And we can talk…if you want to. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. In fact, if you don’t want to, and the cast does come off, I’ll call a car for you.”

Her eyes softened as she looked down at him and they started to move towards the door. “Of course I’ll stay. And yes, I want to talk,” she told him.

“Good,” he grinned as they entered the building and reached Kayla’s office door. “Hopefully it won’t take that long. I want to look in on my mom while I’m here, too. I can’t go in…I’m still contagious. But I just want…you know.” Now in Kayla’s waiting room, he signed in and Chloe took a seat.

“Of course,” she replied as the nurse called for Philip.

He took a deep breath and looked at her, “Wish me luck,” he smiled.

“Luck,” she nodded.

A little over a half hour later, Philip walked out of Kayla’s office a little stiffly, but on his feet, and grinned at Chloe. “Ta-da,” he laughed as he spun slowly.

“I want you to take it easy for a few days, and make sure you square away an appointment with the physical therapist,” Kayla laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “Who’s taking care of this?” She asked, gesturing to the folded wheelchair.

“I’ll shove it in the car,” he replied. “So when can I see my mom?”

A frown passed over Kayla’s face, “You’re probably still contagious, Philip, especially since you’re still symptomatic. At least another three days. Come see me then, and we’ll talk about it.”

“I can at least look in on her while I’m here, though, right?” He asked hopefully.

Kayla frowned again, “Philip, honestly…”

“What?” His eyes grew wide.

“No, no, your mom’s doing well, all things considered. It’s you. You look horrible. I wouldn’t suggest showing your face to her looking like you do. I told you that you need rest, and I mean it. Take those sleeping pills I prescribed, they’re non habit forming, and rest is what you need.”

“Kayla,” Philip pleaded.

“Really, Philip, if Stephanie showed up here looking as bad as you do, I’d have a coronary on the spot. And I’m fit as a fiddle. Please, Philip, don’t make her worry about you any more than she already does. Get some rest before you go putting on a puppet show in the window, OK?”

“What if I stay out of sight?” He suggested.

“I know you want to see her. Let me page Daniel, and we’ll see what we can do, OK?” Kayla smiled as she picked up her phone.

“I’ll go put this in the car,” Chloe told him, taking hold of the wheelchair.

“So…you still want to talk?” He asked her quietly.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I still want to talk,” she smiled as she left. When she came back, Kayla told her that Philip had gone with Daniel to Kate’s room, so Chloe made her way through the hospital halls to meet him. She found him standing outside the room, looking intently through the window at Kate, who was sleeping.

“The chair’s in the car,” she told him gently.

“Good,” he answered distractedly. “They let me peek because she’s sleeping.” She hardly even looks like my mother, lying there like that. She’s so pale, so gaunt. She looks so fragile. Mom’s so not fragile. This sucks, God, this sucks. He watched in silence as her chest rose and fell and the machines did whatever it was the machines were supposed to be doing. He felt a tear slide down his cheek, and felt Chloe’s hand cover his.

“What did Daniel say?” Chloe whispered.

“Nothing’s changed. He said that’s a good thing,” he answered, not taking his eyes off of Kate. “I just wish I could be in there with her. Soon,” he sighed.

“Soon,” Chloe repeated. “One step at a time, Philip.”

“Yeah,” he turned to look at her, and she handed him his keys. He took them with a smile, his eyes suddenly dancing, “let’s go. Let’s drive. Let’s walk. Let’s talk.”

[fluffysmom]

Thanks for the early morning chapter FF. I'm thrilled that Chloe drove Philip to the doctor and they are going to talk. Yay! I can hardly wait for the next chapter. I'm glad that Chloe is there for Philip even though things are still unsettled between them.

[MrsM]

That was a nice surprise of a chapter! Glad they are talking finally!!

[Kpatch]

Love how even Brady is conspiring to get the two of them back together. And I'm considering them back together. The first thing Chloe did when she got back from Brookville was go to see Philip. She obviously wants to work things out and she knows he does too. I was annoyed with her for slapping Philip, but then I thought about how she treats him like he's normal, not sick, not hobbled. She never condescends and that's a good thing.

So happy. Ready to get happier. Thanks Fifi!

[fluffysmom]

I agree Kpatch...I'm ready to get happier!!

[felineflash]

Chapter 105 - A Walk in the Woods

“You don’t know how good this feels,” Philip murmured as he sat behind the wheel. “You have anything you need to do today?”

“No, why?” Chloe asked, glancing over at him.

“Because we’re going for a drive, baby,” he grinned as he put the car in gear and they lurched out of the parking garage.

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Where do you want to go? I want to go somewhere where we can talk, without anybody being up in our soup.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” she nodded.

“How about we go for a walk somewhere? I know just the place,” he smiled as he sped down the road.

Within twenty minutes, they’d pulled up to the clearing at the edge of the woods in which Terrence the Tree stood. Philip got out and walked around to the passenger door and opened it for Chloe, and they started off along the path. “It’s so warm,” Philip commented as they walked along, “it’s hard to believe Christmas is almost here.”

“Well, we are supposed to have a cold front come through tonight, with rain, and then--”

“Snow,” he said it in unison with her, and they burst into laughter. “I’ve been waiting for it to snow,” he added.

“Me too,” she smiled at him.

“Just to wake up and look out the window and see the world all white, and pure…”

“Wake up? You mean you plan on sleeping?” She joked.

“Seriously, do you know how many times I’ve heard about how bad I look? I know, I know, I know,” he grumbled, stumbling a bit.

She threw out a hand to steady him, “You OK?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, “just getting my land legs back. God, this feels good. I just need to pace myself.”

“Lean on me,” she suggested, putting her arm around him. “Do you want to stop?”

“No. I want to walk. This is good.”

“Good,” she sighed as they walked on together. “So why haven’t you been sleeping? Your mom?”

“That’s one of the reasons. And being sick. Just being miserable all the time with coughing or having a fever or whatever, and the cast bugging the hell out of me. And worrying about…us.”

“What about your nightmares?” She asked as they reached Terrence. “I think he’s grown a little.”

Philip looked at the tree and screwed up his face, “He’s not a very manly looking tree, is he?” He laughed as he sat down and tugged her hand, pulling her down beside him.

“What about the nightmares? They were worse after the fire, weren’t they?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he answered quietly, “a lot worse. But I haven’t had one in about a week now, since I started talking to Dr. J.”

“Dr. J.? I thought Marlena had recommended a Dr. Whitfield,” she remarked, puzzled.

“Dr. J. is Dr. Whitfield. Everyone calls him Dr. J.,” he explained.

“Ah. So is he really tall and good at basketball?”

Philip laughed, “Actually, he’s really short. But he claims to be very good at basketball, we’re supposed to get together and play a game one day, so we’ll see.”

“Tell me about him…if you want to, I mean,” she smiled.

“He’s cool. He’s a Viet Nam vet, he was a medic, so…he saw a lot of…things. We just talk. He gets it. I can talk to him about stuff, about the war, the nightmares, and I don’t feel like I’m…” He trailed off.

“Destroying his world view?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “something like that.”

“I’m glad you started talking to him. I’m proud of you. I know it was hard for you,” she told him.

“Yeah.”

“What made you do it, finally? The nightmares? The one you had in the hospital…Philip, you scared me to death. I’ve never seen anyone look so terrified in my life.”

He took a deep breath. Time to just talk, really talk. “I was terrified. That’s…it’s why I told you to go. One of the reasons.”

“Ah,” she leaned back and leveled her eyes at him, “are we finally going to talk about that? That would be wonderful.”

“You’re angry because I believed you’d made a deal with my dad…”

“I’m pissed, Philip. Absolutely. I can’t believe that you’d ever think that. You know me.”

“Yeah, but Chloe, I mean…I’m not exactly the guy I was when we were kids. And my parents like to meddle in my life. And…I just…after the fire, being in that stupid chair, feeling like I was just…helpless. And then Brady comes along, and he’s all perfect, as always…”

“He’s a recovering drug addict, Philip, that’s hardly perfect,” Chloe pointed out.

“He’s my dad’s favorite, OK? I know how ridiculous that sounds, but he is, and it…pisses me off sometimes. So he’s back, and I’m stuck in a chair, this…helpless cripple, and I’m having nightmares and I think I’m losing it and my mom’s sick, and everything was just spiraling out of control. It’s still out of control. But I just didn’t want you to have to deal with it. To deal with me.”

“You really are ridiculous sometimes, Philip. You didn’t even give me a chance to deal with you. You just kicked me to the curb.”

“I…” his face fell, “I didn’t mean to hurt you! I was trying to keep from hurting you. I mean, I don’t know what else to say, Chloe…I’ve got issues.”

“That’s breaking news?” She laughed dryly.

He shrugged, “You’re making fun of me.”

“Yep,” she giggled, then she became serious again and said, “it all started after the fire. Was it Melanie? Or me?”

“It was the fire. And everything else, but the fire, mostly,” his eyes clouded over, “it was so…intense, and I was so disoriented, I didn’t even know where I was. And it was like I was living one of my nightmares. Because that’s what they are, they’re just sounds and smells…I can’t even describe them because they don’t make sense. I just always feel like I’m dying in them. And that night, the fire,” he stopped, shuddered involuntarily and she put her arms around him, “I honestly thought I was going to die. I don’t know why I did, it wasn’t like The Towering Inferno or anything, but the smells, the sounds, the taste of blood in my mouth…I honestly thought I was back in Afghanistan at one point. So when the nightmares started again, and more than one a night…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, searching his eyes.

“I didn’t want you to know. I wanted to be in control, but I’m not,” he said bitterly.

She smirked, “Philip, you know, there are things in life that are out of our control. It’s just the way it is, even for the great and powerful Philip Kiriakis.”

“It sucks,” he grunted.

“It does indeed, but that’s the way it is. Deal with it. I just can’t understand why you never tell me these things. Tell me when you’re afraid, when you’re feeling self conscious or uncomfortable. It’s like you want me to think you’re so damn perfect--”

“I want to be perfect for you. I don’t want to be,” he shrugged, “this. Some half-crazy, one-legged…”

“Man that I love? Because I do love you, Philip. You have to know that by now,” she finished.

“I know that I love you, Chloe,” he said, taking her hands in his, “and I know how hard it is for you to say those words. And I can’t tell you how much…I want to be everything for you,” he kissed her forehead.

“You are. You are perfect, Philip. When you’re not an ass,” she patted his cheek gently. “You look…”

“Horrible. Like hell. I know!”

“Let’s get you home. You need a good, long sleep,” she rose and offered him her hand to pull him up.

[MrsM]

Great chapter!! Love their talk!! Glad he is being open and honest with her.

[Kpatch]

Loved it! They're really talking and he explained his insecurities and why he pushed her away. That was great! And she told him to his face that she loves him, not to keep him from breaking up with her like she did before, but to let him know why she wants to be with him.

So happy. Thank you Fifi.

[fluffysmom]

Wonderful chapter FF. I loved it! I am thrilled that Philip was honest about his nightmares, the fire and all of his insecurites. I loved hearing Chloe tell Philip that she loves him and him being able to really hear and believer her. Thanks FF. I can hardly wait to read more.