felineflash
Member
Toujours dans mon coeur, Maman.
Posts: 197
|
Being
Mar 26, 2012 18:03:22 GMT -5
Post by felineflash on Mar 26, 2012 18:03:22 GMT -5
It's getting close...the chapter I recently wrote will be up for post in only a few more chapters. I'm going to need all of your constructive criticism, letting me know where you'd like to go in this journey, and of course, tell me what you think when the first of the new batch of chapters comes. For now, I'm still drawing from the stockpile. But like I said, your feedback enables me to create a vision of where I need/want to go. Don't hold back.
Chapter 115 - Together
Philip grinned sheepishly before kissing the hollow of her throat, “That’s my line, silly.”
“Ah, but it’s true,” she said with a throaty laugh, kissing the top of his head.
“I missed you so much,” he whispered as he slipped his hands under her nightshirt. “If you’ve got something to do,” he grinned wickedly as his finger barely touched her breasts, lightly drawing a line downwards, sending shivers down her spine, “I suggest you do it now, because once I get started, I’m not going to stop.”
“Don’t…don’t ever stop,” she gasped as his fingertips fluttered against her inner thighs, causing her heart to skip beats. He gently pushed her down against the pillows and straddled her on his knees, his tongue flicking over her breasts and heading downward.
She balled her fists in his hair, tilting her face to kiss him. She’d nearly reached his lips when he caressed her cheek and said, “No kissing…no bronchitis,” then went to work putting his mouth to other uses.
She wiggled and moaned as he first teased with his tongue, then gave her full attention. “Philip…Philip!” She whimpered, straining against him until he pulled away and kissed her throat.
“Your pulse is racing,” he whispered in her ear, his tongue tickling the pink shell. With that, she pushed him over and returned the favor.
As she began to pull away, he let out a moan so raw with emotion that she was suddenly blinded by the need, the desire to stop the games and make love to him. “Now,” she pleaded as he once again straddled her, and they became as one, their bodies pulsing in time, all sounds, space, things vanishing in an ethereal haze as they moved in time, breathed in time, loved in time.
“I love you,” Philip mumbled as her stroked her hair sleepily.
“I love you too. I really do,” Chloe replied.
He propped himself on his elbow, “Are you afraid I’ll doubt it?” He chuckled.
“Nope,” she laughed, kissing the tip of his nose.
He smiled at her, sighing heavily. “Chloe…”
Noticing the change in his tone, her brow crinkled as she asked, “What?”
“I…I don’t mean to get all serious on you, but I need to tell you something…I’ve been needing to for a long time,” he traced her jaw line gently with his fingertip, “When I thought you’d died…” He shook his head at the memory, “a part of me…a part of me died too. I couldn’t breathe…I couldn’t believe it…”
She swallowed hard. I thought I was sparing everyone, but all I did was cause unbelievable pain. How could I have ever been so selfish? “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry,” she wrapped him in her arms, “I thought…it was for the best. I was so afraid, so afraid to face everyone, the scars were so horrid…”
“I have no idea what I looked like after I was wounded, but I’m pretty sure I had you beat,” he chuckled against her shoulder.
She pulled away, staring at him. “You joke about it? God, Philip, how can you laugh about it?”
“It passes the time,” he said quietly, shrugging. “If you laugh about things, sometimes it makes them feel a little less…awful.” He pulled her back into his arms, “When I saw you again, when Brady wheeled me into that room, and there you were, beautiful as always, alive…I will never forget that.”
“I’ll never forgive myself for putting all of you through that,” she told him, tears springing to her eyes, “I can’t even understand why I did, now.”
“The same reason I let myself be holed up in that room downstairs for months. I mean, I had ulterior motives, but the main reason was fear. It’s the same reason you won’t see me in anything but long pants in public. The same reason I told you to leave. Fear, I guess. I guess that’s the only word for it, but that doesn’t really fit, does it?”
Again, she pulled away from him and looked him sternly in the eyes, “So you admit that. That you pushed me away?”
“Yeah,” he said meekly.
“Why? What were you afraid of?” She asked, taking his hand, curling her fingers around his.
He puffed out his cheeks and looked to the ceiling. How do you explain it? So that it makes sense? “OK. This probably won’t make any sense. Being in the wheelchair, it just…it just brought back a lot of feelings, a lot of…stuff…that I thought I’d gotten over. I thought I’d buried all that. But all of a sudden, I mean, even though I knew it was temporary, it was all back. I hate people staring at me. I hate people thinking that I can’t do something that I can. I hate feeling like people pity me. And it was all back, I was just feeling all of that all over again. And along with everything else, it just got to be too much. I couldn’t fight it. I was just…wallowing in self pity, as I think Henderson put it.”
“Hmmm. He put it mildly. Why didn’t you just tell me? I could’ve supported you…”
“I didn’t think you’d get it. Hell, I didn’t get it. I still don’t get it. And, I mean…damn, Chloe, all the things I was when we were kids, things I’m just not anymore…I still think you’re nuts to want to stay with me. I’m glad you’re nuts, but I still think you are,” he smirked.
“What things? Like sweet, and romantic, and goofy? Accident prone? Pompous?”
“Well, I’m still pompous,” he grinned.
“And accident prone. And sweet, romantic, and goofy,” she felt him stiffen slightly, and added, “but you’re also successful, intelligent, courageous and strong. And handsome.”
“Don’t forget handsome,” he yawned.
“And you know what?” She asked sleepily.
“What?”
“I do get it. I get you. I don’t know how I do, but I do. Maybe it’s because I love you,” she said as she snuggled into the crook of his arm.
“Two peas in a pod,” he kissed the top of her head as he pulled the covers up to their chins. “I love you, too.”
[hr
Chapter 116 - Shadows and Light
The worst kind of nightmare is the kind that feels so real. Chloe tried to put it out of her head as her eyes adjusted to the moonlit room, but she couldn’t. It had felt real. Too real. And she remembered every vivid detail. She’d woken up alone in the bed. She’d felt how cold Philip’s side was, like ice. So she’d gotten up, put on her robe and gone out into the house to find him. The further she made it down the hall, the colder she felt, until she was sure she could see her breath. And then, there at the end of the hall, stood Brady, Philip and Victor. Victor and Brady flanked Philip, who had his back turned to her. Brady had put out his hand to stop her, Victor had blocked her way. Their lips moved, but they made no sound, and Philip didn’t turn around. He stood facing the wall, his shoulders slumped. “Philip?” She’d reached out, and finally, she could hear Brady and Victor’s words. “Don’t, Chloe,” Brady had said. “It’s too late,” Victor intoned.
“Too late for what?” She’d asked, pushing past the two of them and touching Philip’s shoulder, cold as ice. “Too late,” Philip had said, not turning to face her. “Philip?” She’d grasped his shoulder and turned him towards her…
She shuddered, remembering the horror that pulsed through as he’d turned, slowly, to face her. He had no face. Just his blue eyes and a hideous gash for a mouth, the rest was blood. “I have to go now,” he’d said, gently patting her hand. As he’d done so, a droplet of blood fell on the sleeve of her white robe, and she’d found herself watching it, fascinated, as the red stain grew larger, and larger, and when she’d looked up, Philip was gone. And then she’d woken up.
She sat up now, pulling the covers up to her chin and gazing at Philip sleeping soundly beside her. It had just felt so real. She leaned over and kissed his forehead just to prove to herself that it had been a dream, a ridiculous nightmare. As she did, a tear slid down her cheek and plopped onto the light blue sheet, and she watched as it seeped into the fabric, the dark circle it created growing, growing…just like in the nightmare. Stop it! It was just a nightmare! But she couldn’t shake it, and now sleep would be impossible unless she got her mind off of it. So she carefully got out of bed and slipped out of the room.
Minutes later she was in the library, holding a brandy while she browsed through the books and delighted in the rich scent of all the leather bound volumes. But her mind wasn’t on the titles, she was still reeling from the walk down the hall, so similar to the one in her nightmare. God, Chloe, it was just a nightmare. Get over it. She sat down heavily on the couch, her eyes stinging with tears, and suddenly she was sobbing uncontrollably. Chloe, girl, get it together. It was a nightmare. It didn’t mean anything. It was just all of the fear from the fire, from that crazy woman, from when Philip got shot protecting Morgan…all of that pent up fear playing games with your subconscious mind. There’s no danger anymore, Philip’s OK. You’ve held it together for this long, and now you’re going to freak out post factum? She wiped her tears away, took a deep breath and a sip of brandy. Breaking out the Latin in times of stress. Amazing.
“Chloe? You OK?” Brady had passed the open door to the library seeing the light on, but he’d thought it was probably Victor until he’d heard her sob. He’d doubled back and was now standing just inside the door.
“Hey,” she looked up from her brandy. “Are you just getting home?”
“Yeah,” he came into the room and sat down beside her. “I went to a meeting. What’d Philip do now?”
She shook her head, “Nothing. I thought you went to a meeting after dinner.”
“I did,” he shrugged, “some days require more than one. I couldn’t sleep, so I called my sponsor and we got together for coffee and donuts. OK, seriously, what’d he do?”
“Stop it. Philip didn’t do anything. I just…I had a nightmare, and I just let it get to me.”
Brady leaned back, “Tell me about it.”
“What?”
“Tell me about the nightmare. It might help to get it out of your system.” And so she did, telling him every gory detail. When she’d finished, he nodded. “Wow. Weird dream.”
“Nightmare. It was a nightmare. And it felt so real, that’s what was so creepy about it, it felt so damn real,” she felt the tears coming again and tried to blink them away. “What could it mean? I mean, I guess part of it came because we'd been talking about my scars, and his being wounded the last time…but that it’s too late? What does that mean? Why did he leave?”
“I am so not capable of crawling into your head and figuring that out, Chloe,” Brady said sympathetically. “I’ll take a stab at it, though, and say that I think it means that you’re afraid of losing him.” She nodded, the tears flowing again. Brady grabbed a tissue from the end table and handed it to her. “Chloe, I know you,” he began quietly, “and I know Philip. You loved each other then, and you love each other now. But you’re both so damn afraid that the other’s going to leave, you keep putting up these defenses.” He sighed, “I know I’m a big part of that. But I guess it took me, and Belle, and Lucas and, uh…Morgan to figure it all out. But you two did figure it out. Don’t second guess it.”
“God, Brady, I’m so sorry. This isn’t…we shouldn’t be talking about this…”
“Why not? All the love in the world couldn’t fix us, because we weren’t meant to be. That doesn’t mean we can’t care about each other and support each other, now, does it?” He smiled.
“No. No, it doesn’t. And you’re right, I think we are so afraid that we keep running in these circles,” she remarked as she sipped her brandy. “OK,” she sighed, tucking her legs underneath her, “Enough about me. You’ve succeeded in making me feel a little better. Now it’s your turn. Do you want to tell me why today required more than one meeting?”
“Just stuff,” he shrugged.
“Brady,” she coaxed. “Was it Nicole?”
“She’s hurting. I just wish there was something I could do to stop that. Actually, I wish I could rip EJ DiMera’s head off, but that’s not practical. I just wish there was something I could do.”
“Brady…you’re in love with her, aren’t you? Did you ever stop?” Chloe eyed him.
“I…Yes. I am. I honestly don’t know if I ever stopped. I mean, I loved you so much, and when you came back into my life, that kind of just…nothing else seemed to matter. But Nicole loves EJ. So…” he broke off, taking a gulp of water from the bottle he’d brought in with him.
“I don’t think she ever stopped loving you, Brady. I don’t. Maybe the two of you are just like Philip and me, and…you just need to stop second guessing.”
“It’s not just Nicole, though. It’s everything. Going to work at Titan, afraid Philip’s thinking I’m stepping on his toes…afraid I’m going to fail miserably,” he ran a hand through his hair.
“Oh, come on. You didn’t fail in Austria, you were brilliant. With you and Philip as a team, Titan can’t help but profit from that,” Chloe smiled encouragingly.
“That was in another life. Things weren’t so great towards the end,” he mumbled.
“Brady, look at me,” she waited until his eyes met hers, “you’re stronger now because of it. You’re going to be fine. I believe in you,” she caught him up in a hug.
They both started when Philip cleared his throat from the doorway. “Yeah, don’t mind me,” he said curtly, turning abruptly and leaving.
“Philip…” Chloe jumped from the couch to follow, but Brady put his hand on hers.
“Let me talk to him,” he said, “just go on to bed.”
“But he thinks…”
“I know what he thinks. I’ll set him straight,” he told her as he left the room to follow Philip. He was hot on his heels as Philip stalked into the kitchen. “What are you doing, man?” Brady asked, shaking his head.
“I am pouring myself a glass of milk. I thought you might like a little more quality time with Chloe,” Philip sneered as he opened the refrigerator.
“You’ve got the wrong idea.”
“Oh, do I?” Philip slammed his glass down on the counter.
“Yeah, you do. What is with you? Why are you so intent on sabotaging your relationship? What the hell are you so afraid of?”
Philip glared at him and started towards the door, but Brady blocked his path. “No way, man. You’re not going anywhere until I talk to you,” he told him as Philip huffed impatiently.
|
