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Post by Kpatch on Feb 24, 2011 4:57:38 GMT -5
PROLOGUE
Molly: Whatcha doing, Dick?
Dick Dorkay, Executive Producer: Reading my fan mail.
Molly: You get fan mail???
Dick: Sure! Don’t you?
Molly: Well yes, but not as many as that. That’s the biggest pile of ... um ... letters I’ve ever seen. Let me read one.
Dick: No.
Molly: Why not?
Dick: They’re personal.
Molly: Are they from women?
Dick: Mostly.
Molly: Wow! And they’re personal? What are the fans saying?
Dick: It’s personal. It’s my personal private fan mail. And it’s none of your business. So there!
Molly grabs a handful of letters.
Dick: No no no. Give those back!
Molly starts reading one of the letters.
A Letter: Hey jerkface, didn’t you learn anything from Lost Days of Our Lives and Daytime Cereal? Just when I think there’s hope for you yet, you do it again. Leave storylines dangling and crimes unsolved. Why aren’t the Salem PD trying to find out who mowed down Arianna? Why don’t the police care who shot EJ? Why aren’t Stefano and EJ locked up in the federal penitentiary? Do you think we’re stupid? Oh wait, don’t answer that.
Molly: You call this fan mail? How do you respond to a letter like that?
Dick: We’ve had budget cuts and ...
Molly: Oh no you don’t. You’re not going to blame budget cuts again!
Dick: Why not?
Molly: You end up sounding like the boy who cried wolf. S.O.S. Same old sh-- um stuff.
Dick: Okay okay okay. I would tell you the truth but ...
Molly: But what?
Dick: You can’t handle the truth!
Molly rolls her eyes.
Molly: Try me, Dick.
Dick: It’s not my fault that the Salem PD are a bumbling bunch of keystone kops. Even kpatch can’t make them look good!
Tune in on Tuesday, March 1st for the start of the story ...
______________________________________
Copyright ©2011 kpatch. All rights reserved.
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Post by sportsgirl on Feb 24, 2011 9:03:46 GMT -5
Ooh goody!! I don't have to go through withdrawals after all ;D
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Post by Sparkster on Feb 24, 2011 9:54:43 GMT -5
Love it! Great start to another great kpatch story! ;D I love how Dorkay thinks these letters are "fan mail"! LOL! What an idiot. Good thing Molly keeps him in line. Can't wait for more!  |
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Post by André DiMera on Feb 24, 2011 14:23:44 GMT -5
Personally, I don't think that Dorkay really got as much fan mail as eh thinks he does. Hate mail, on the other hand, now that's a different story.
Looks like this will be a great story, kpatch! I'm really looking forward to it!
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Post by gapeach on Feb 24, 2011 16:23:10 GMT -5
Yeah!!! The beginning of another greatjkjpatch (that is going to be hard to remember after typing the other name for so long) story. Looking forward to Tuesday!
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Post by mandamiee on Feb 24, 2011 16:44:44 GMT -5
hurray, this one sounds great!!
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Post by djm on Feb 24, 2011 20:54:00 GMT -5
Ohhh I am so excited. Anothe Dorkay and Mally story. And not that long of a wait since All My Exes Thanks kpatch. I just have a feeling this is going to be a great story.
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Post by Trey on Feb 24, 2011 21:40:10 GMT -5
You seriously do have the best stories!
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Post by Minako98 on Feb 25, 2011 8:44:54 GMT -5
/whine Why do we have to wait until Tuesday!!!  |
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Post by MrsM on Feb 25, 2011 15:55:45 GMT -5
I can't wait either!!!
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Post by Kpatch on Feb 25, 2011 16:04:02 GMT -5
Okay okay LOL. If I can start it a little earlier, I will. Thing is, there is a video that goes with it and it hasn't been completed. It may not have even been started. I'll check with my videographer. Hopefully she is reading this now and feeling the pressure. LOL.
Thanks for your interest in my new story guys!
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Post by sportsgirl on Feb 25, 2011 16:11:14 GMT -5
I just keep singing the stupid theme song from the TV show everytime I read about this. Kind of like "All my exes live in Texas" last time.
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Post by Kpatch on Feb 28, 2011 5:18:34 GMT -5
Readers, please view the 30 second video that sets the tone for the story:
A “SECLUDED” SPOT ON THE PIER
Vivian: Do you know how difficult it was to locate you?
Man: Get to the point, lady. I’m busy.
Vivian [sarcastically]: Oh. My apologies. I should have realized that a man of your ... ahem ... stature would have important things to do.
Man: What do you want from me?
Vivian: I’m in the process of settling a few scores and I need you to implement one of my plans.
Man: Me? Why me?
Vivian: When I explain the plan to you, it will become crystal clear.
Man: Shoot.
Vivian: No, not this time. No shooting, no gunplay. Just good old-fashioned terrorism.
SALEM UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL
Philip: Maxine, have you seen my wife?
Maxine: Not for a few hours. Melanie clocked out at 4:00.
Philip: I know. That’s the last time I heard from her. We were supposed to meet at Chez Rouge for dinner, but she never showed up and she’s not answering her cell phone. I’m worried.
DIMERA MANSION
Brady stands outside the door of the Dimera mansion impatiently ringing the doorbell and banging the doorknocker. EJ opens the door.
Brady: Okay, EJ, where is she?
EJ: What in the blazes are you talking about and how did I, EJ Dimera, end up in a kpatch story?
Brady: You know very well what I’m talking about. Nicole. Where is she?
EJ [blinking wildly]: How the hell should I know?
Brady: You and your goons. You keep track of people.
EJ: Far better than you and your goons do, apparently.
Brady: I’m losing my patience.
EJ: Ah, so you’ve lost both Nicole and your patience on the same day. Listen carefully, Brady, because I’m going to say this only once. I don’t know where Nicole is, nor do I care. Good day.
EJ slams the door in Brady’s face.
SALEM POLICE DEPARTMENT
Roman: We have another kidnapping on our hands, little brother.
Bo: Damn, I hate kidnappings. They’re so time-consuming.
Roman: Tell me about it. It could take weeks.
Bo: Let’s go to the pub and wet our whistles before we get started. It may be a long time before we get to relax and have a beer again.
Roman: Sounds good. Lead da way, little brother.
To be continued weekdays ...
Thanks to Kazz for creating the video for this story.
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Post by Tom Horton on Feb 28, 2011 8:56:10 GMT -5
EJ [blinking wildly] Bo: Damn, I hate kidnappings. They’re so time-consuming. ;D LOL! This is going to be a fun one I can tell already! |
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Post by djm on Feb 28, 2011 9:27:39 GMT -5
EJ: Ah, so you’ve lost both Nicole and your patience on the same day.
EJ: What in the blazes are you talking about and how did I, EJ Dimera, end up in a kpatch story?
Just love those lines. I lost my coffee again Kpatch. (Guess I will never learn)
So funny that Bo hates kidnappings because they take so much time. He is even wasting more time by going for a drink before starting on the case. I would not want to be Melanie (My girl Mel) or Nicole waiting of Bo and Roman to find me.
Just loved the video at the begining. Thanks Kpatch and Kazz.
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