A/N: Well I tried. I trimmed, I deleted, I rephrased, but I still couldn't make it work. I am too long winded and I couldn't bear to make Mel and Phil shut up. So with my head bowed in defeat, I must inform you all that this prologue will now be in 5 parts.
I know, I know. How can I even call it a prologue now? It is going on 50 pages in WORD. I guess it really should be considered early chapters that take place the year before the main story.
Thanks to everyone for reading and all the kind comments. I hope you buckle up and stick with me for this (LONG) journey.
Thanks to my beta Zippy and to JKJpatch for lending me their eyeballs and allowing me to drone on and on about all things Philip.
Oh and for those of you who are Chloe fans...no worries...she will be making her debut soon. She is a main character of this story and will be front and center here. Just as soon as we get Philip and Melanie out of the car!
So here is part 4 of the prologue...for better or worse.
Prologue: Part 4“You’re shivering. How come you didn’t tell me you were cold?” Easing into the small gap of space between them, Melanie pressed her torso into his side, allowing her body to warm his.
“It’s not like we have blankets. Besides I didn’t want you thinking I was trying to trick you into keeping me warm with your body heat.”
“You’re teeth are chattering. Maybe I can reach your jacket back there. If I climb over –“
“No sudden moves,” he interrupted realizing she was about to maneuver her way into the back seat. “I’m fine.”
“You are not. Quit trying to be all macho and brave.”
“I’m a man. It’s what we do.”
“In my experience men usually act like babies when in pain. Remember when you had that cold?”
“It was the flu! My head hurt like hell.”
“You whined constantly. You made me spoon feed you soup.”
“And grilled cheese. Don’t forget that.”
“How could I? You actually pouted when I didn’t cut the crusts off.”
“Well my mom always did.”
“I can’t even imagine Kate in the kitchen.”
“She used to make hot chocolate on the stove. She’d heat the milk, add the cocoa powder, and melt in some chocolate chips. It was the best.”
“You must have been adorable as a kid. All dimples and missing teeth.”
“I was rambunctious. Kept getting into trouble. I used to take things apart. To fix them, you see.”
“I’m sure Victor loved that. His heir doing manual labor.”
“One time I fixed his desk chair in the study. He had a board meeting at the house, sat down in his chair, and bam, hit the floor.”
“Oh no,” she laughed. “Bad little Philip.”
“My dad actually chased me around the house after that. Trying to catch me. He kept yelling for Henderson to cut me off at the pass. But I was too quick.”
“Now I see why you were the football stud in high school.”
“I used to be pretty light on my feet. Until this.” He gestured toward his leg caught in the door.
“I think it was months after I met you that I found out you had lost part of your leg.”
“Was it when you first saw me with my pants down?” he asked hoping to change the subject.
“No. You know it took me far longer than a few months to get those off of you.”
“Trust me, I wanted to let you get me naked almost from the first day we met. Took lots of will power and cold showers.”
“Revisionist history there I think. As I recall, it was Stephanie Johnson that had you all hot and bothered.”
“Nope it was you. She was a good distraction though, a really good distraction.”
“Enough reliving the good old days of you and Stephanie pawing all over each other. Once was enough for me.”
“Fair enough. But you were the forbidden fruit. I couldn’t have you, and it drove me crazy.”
“Little did you know you could have had me any time back then.”
“I couldn’t do that. You had been through enough. You didn’t need someone as screwed up as me jerking you around. Tried to keep a distance from you.”
“Until Stephanie broke your heart and you rebounded with me at the motel.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that. I just couldn’t fight it anymore that night. It was like all I could see was you. It felt so right.”
“Until the next morning when the one you really loved came back.”
“I’m still so sorry you got hurt with all that. Sometimes it’s hard to let yourself see what you really want. To ask yourself the right questions.”
“I know. I’ve been there,” she said with a small sigh. “Still hurts to have it happen twice. You keep throwing me over for other women.”
“Twice? When did I hurt you like that again?”
“Chloe? Remember that little roll in the hay?” He was an idiot. When would he ever learn to think before opening his mouth? It was as if he were compelled to keep pouring salt into her wounds.
“I keep telling you it was not like that. I was hurting.”
“Just like you were hurting when you slept with me that first time. Seems to be a pattern with you. Philip gets his feelings hurt so he makes it all better by sticking his –“
Bo cleared his throat as his flashlight beamed into the car, stopping Melanie mid sentence. “Sorry to interrupt,” he began looking a bit uncomfortable. “I wanted to tell you that I got the cable all hooked up. I’m going to drive my truck forward and pull you up. So brace yourselves.”
“Thanks Bo.” Perfect timing big brother, Philip added silently, relieved to have escaped that conversation. He had been trying all night to get Melanie to remember the good times, their love. But she seemed determined to keep bringing up the bad. Philip guessed he couldn’t blame her, he had treated her pretty poorly over the couple years he had known her. He just hadn’t realized how much she seemed to resent him for his past actions. Foolishly he had believed that this was all behind them.
“Shouldn’t be long now. Let’s get ourselves ready to be moved.”
“Mel, I need you to understand about Chloe.”
“Later. Now is not the time.” She wrapped her arms snuggly about his body, one arm behind his head the other across his chest, just below his wound from the seat belt.
“Does it hurt you when I put my arms around you like this?”
“Never hurts when you touch me.” Only when you let me go, he thought.
“Ok so I’m just going to hold you like this while he pulls us up.”
Her face was neutral, her tone all business. Philip had to get through to her. He had to make her see that she was getting it all wrong. “You mean everything to me Melanie.”
“Philip not now.”
“Yes now. You keep walking away or trying to shut me up. It’s like you don’t want to hear the truth.”
“The truth? How can I believe a word you say? You slept with another woman and lied about it!”
“I love you so much.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls. In fact, I know you do.”
“Stop being stubborn! Listen damn it!” An onslaught of coughs racked his body causing him to bend forward in pain. His chest constricted and he couldn’t catch his breath.
“Philip shh shh.” Melanie soothingly rubbed his back, trying to get him to relax. She talked softly in his ear, words he couldn’t make out, but just being near her helped him breathe. “I think you need to stop talking for a bit. You have to conserve your energy, concentrate on breathing.”
“I need you to understand.” His voice scratchy from coughing, he could barely speak above a raspy whisper, his breath now coming out in short wheezes.
“I do. I do understand. That’s the problem. I always knew that you would find someone else. I just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. That you’d be mine for a little longer.”
The car jerked forward as Bo’s Range Rover accelerated. The cable strained between the two vehicles taut from the added weight. Their seats shuddered back into place as the front wheels hit the ground. Philip grimaced in pain as his pinned leg shifted against the exposed metal of the car door.
“Did you hurt something?” Melanie asked alarm evident in her voice.
“My leg and this damn door. I guess moving the car shifted things.”
“Can you pull it out now?”
“I have been trying this whole time. It still won’t budge.” More coughs choked his speech as he tried to pull his leg from the door. Melanie placed her hand on his arm to still his motions.
“I’m going to take a look. If we can just get you out of your prosthesis.” She leaned across his lap, to get better access to the door, her hair covering her face as she examined his leg.
“Leave it. The paramedics will be here soon.”
It was like shrapnel was lodged in his leg, with his every movement he could feel pieces of the door scrape his bone. The pain was almost unbearable at times, but Philip had learned how to detach himself from physical discomfort. If he had mastered nothing else as a soldier, it was that skill. He knew how to manage pain, of the physical variety at least. But he didn’t need her to see him in this condition, for her to know that he was not only broken with his missing lower leg, but also now too weak to even help them out of this mess.
“Stop being so squeamish about your leg. There’s nothing I haven’t seen. I’m your wife and practically a nurse. By the end of next semester I’ll be a licensed professional.”
“I don’t like you fussing over me. It makes me feel weak.”
“You always try to hide your leg from me.”
“It’s not like you ever let me. Always touching it.”
Melanie was always so curious. He would catch her taking peeks at him while he was getting dressed or coming out the shower. It was as if she were compelled to catch a glimpse of his missing limb. No matter how much he tried to hide it from her, she always managed to catch him exposed.
Sometimes when they were in bed she would reach down and stroke his leg, massage the muscles tenderly. He didn’t know what to make of her. No one had ever focused on that part of him before, most people, including himself, tried to ignore the fact that a part of him was gone.
“Why wouldn’t I touch it? It’s a part of you.” She held his gaze for a moment, before returning her attention to his leg. “So be quiet now. Maybe we can work together and get your leg out of this.”
The bleeding had started again. Philip watched as Melanie took off her pink shirt leaving only a thin creamy tank top covering her upper body.
“I’m going to use this to try to stop the bleeding. I see why I can’t move your leg,” she announced as she tore her shirt into strips to tie to around his wound. “Your prosthesis is embedded into your leg. The skin is all torn and I think that is exposed muscle tissue.”
“Graphic.” He made a face, his stomach churning at the imagery.
“Sorry. I get carried away,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t be. It’s okay. I like watching you in medical mode. You’re a natural.”
“You think?” she asked throwing him a smile. “I always feel like I don’t fit in, like people are looking at me thinking who’d she do to get into this class?”
“Stop. You have a high GPA and doing me didn’t get you those grades. I looked into pulling strings. I was told no dice.”
“A Kirakis being told no. That must have not sat well with you,” she teased.
“I was pissed, let me tell you. I got them back though. Made the cafeteria start Mystery Meat Mondays.”
“Yuck, that was you?” She scrunched her nose in distaste.
“Yep. My wrath knows no limits.” Melanie laughed quietly as she continued to dress his wound.
“So how are you two doing in here?” Bo’s rain soaked head popped into the car interior, this time without his trusty flashlight.
“He’s losing a lot blood, Bo. What’s holding the paramedics up?” She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face, as she looked expectantly at Bo.
“Do you mind if I speak to my brother alone for a minute?” asked Bo as he gestured to Philip with his eyes that this conversation was of some urgency.
“I’m not leaving him, Bo.” Philip turned Melanie to face him, his hands running up and down her bare shoulders as he spoke.
“Mel I’ll be ok. Why don’t you borrow Bo’s phone and call Maggie?” She looked from Bo to Philip uncertainly, but he could tell she was caving. “It‘ll just be a few minutes.”
“Fine. But don’t let him talk too much. He needs to focus on controlling his breathing.”
“Understood,” replied Bo as he held out his hand to help Melanie from the car.
Bo watched Melanie walk a few yards away from the car, out of earshot, before turning back to Philip with a serious look. “So there was a pile up on 80. You know the rain.”
“That’s the delay? Were there any casualties?”
“Afraid so.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I managed to connect with Victor. He is sending a private rescue squad and the medivac helicopter from the next county.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t mention this to Mel. She’s dealing with enough as it is.”
“She sure is a feisty one,” Bo said looking back toward where Melanie was standing using his phone.
“Tell me about it,” he smiled. “But it’s just a front. She’s really scared.”
“And you? Can’t be easy trapped in here.” Bo glanced over at him before tentatively reaching in and patting Philip on the arm. Philip knew he must have been mentally sizing up his injuries, trying to determine just how critical the situation was. His brother was oddly quiet, which could only mean that Bo was thinking things were looking pretty bad for him.
Philip tried to waylay his fears, downplaying his near constant pain. “I‘ve seen worse in combat. I just need her safe.”
“Is this the guilt talking? I know you and her are on the outs.”
“She’s still my wife Bo. She’s everything to me.”
“And Chloe?”
“Ah Bo. I screwed it up with both of them. I have turned Chloe into the town slut. All because I was a drunk ass.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It does take two.”
Feelings of shame over took him as he remembered just how much his idiotic actions had screwed up Chloe’s life. “I pushed it there with Chloe. I should’ve kept it zipped.”
“And she should have said no.”
“Bo,” Philip warned.
“Just putting it out there,” he said, hands in the air signaling his retreat from the subject. “You are not alone in this blame game you’re playing.”
“Speaking of alone,” Philip paused running his hand through his hair. “You have to promise me you’ll look out for Chloe.”
“What are you talking about? Help is on the way.” Bo leaned further into the car, blocking the space of the open door with his body, as if he wanted to make sure Melanie would not overhear their conversation.
“If something happens, I need you to promise. Everyone hates her in this town.”
“She does have her family in New York right?”
“She’s too proud to go to them. I know her. She’ll stay in Salem and face down the lions. I need you to check on her from time to time. Make sure she’s holding it together.”
“What about your wife out there?” he asked gesturing toward Melanie with a slight tilt of his head.
“She has many people that love her. Daniel, Carly, Maggie, hell even my family will have her back. I don’t have to worry about her. She’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be so sure about that. She won’t have you.”
“She’ll be better off. Trust me on that one.”
Sometimes he felt like he was the worst thing that ever happened to her. He should have trusted his first instinct and just kept his distance. She was too young, had been through too much to have to spend her life dealing with his screwed up life. Many times, especially in recent weeks, he felt like walking away from her completely would be the best option. Too bad he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“OK time’s up boys,” said Melanie reappearing behind Bo. He stepped aside to let Melanie back into the car.
“The Mrs. has spoken,” said Philip hoping that Melanie had not heard any of what he said to Bo. The last thing he wanted was for her to be worried anymore than she already was.
“I’m going to light some flares, so the chopper can find us,” Bo stated.
Melanie climbed in the car, resuming her position in Philip’s arms, as Bo walked back toward his truck.
“Chopper?”
“My father sent a helicopter.”
“Gotta love Papa Vic.”
“Don’t let him ever hear you call him that. So did you get a hold of Maggie?”
“Yes. She’s worried sick. She’s going to meet us at the hospital.”
“Good. Glad she will be there for you.”
“I found this blanket in Bo’s truck,” she said reaching down to grab the blanket she placed at her feet. “Now we can warm you up.”
“All I need is you next to me and I’ll be fine.” He pulled the blanket up around the two of them, covering everything but their heads.
“Lucky for you I had nothing better to do tonight. So you’re stuck with me.”
Failing to squash down the twinge of jealousy as he remembered what Melanie had originally planned to be doing tonight and with whom, he was compelled to ask, “Did you call Nathan? I’m sure he’s wondering why you stood him up.”
“I didn’t even think of it.” Just the answer he was hoping for. She always forgot about that idiot when she was with him. Or so it seemed.
“You can go do that now if you want,” he suggested, anxious to hear her response.
“Not getting rid of me that easily Mr. Kiriakis. Besides it’s my turn to tell a story.”
A smile broke out on Philip’s face as he pulled her closer to him, her thigh draped across his knee under the blanket. “Do I get to hear about your misspent youth?”
“I don’t have much good to say as far as childhood memories. Smoke filled back room poker games, random men, and a deadbeat dad are not good storytelling material.”
“You can tell me anything. You know that right?” Swallowing the lump that always formed in his throat whenever he thought about what she was forced to do as a child, he would kill Trent with his bare hands, if the man were not already dead.
“Should I return the favor and tell you about my first love?” she asked as she drew slow circles with her fingertips on the back of his hand. Just that simple light touch was driving him crazy. He wanted to feel her again, her body against his, her warm breath on his neck as she kissed her way down to his chest. Shutting his eyes, reveling in the memory of what it felt like to be with her, he tried to focus on her voice.
“Not that I relish the thought of you and another man, but I guess fair is fair.”
“Well my first love was older. I never seem to like boys my own age. Blame dear old Trent for that one. But anyway he was older and so beautiful. He had these really expressive eyes and a smile that just lit up the room. I think my heart literally skipped a beat when I first saw him.”
“You are so corny.”
“Hey! No comments from the audience.”
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Tell me more about Mr. Smiley.”
“Well he was infuriating. A complete arrogant jerk that drove me crazy almost every time I saw him.”
“He sounds like a nightmare.”
“He was. Self-entitled, conceited, I think he actually believed every woman would just bow down to be with him.”
“Wow. And you were in love with this guy?”
“Sadly yes. When I didn’t want to throttle him, I wanted to kiss him. It was complete madness. At one point I think I would have made a pact with the devil himself just to spend the night with him.”
“He must have been some charmer to make you consider calling on the prince of darkness.”
“He definitely thought he was.”
“He doesn’t sound like he had any redeeming qualities at all. What ever did you see in him?”
“He challenged me. Every one of my patented tricks I had used in the past to get guys to bend to my will, he resisted. It was like he could see right through me. Which of course made me want to try even harder to outsmart him.”
“The thrill of the chase.”
“Something like that. I just wanted him to notice me and to want me like I wanted him.”
“He didn’t?”
“Well I sort of suspected he did. A woman knows these things. But I wanted more from him than something physical.”
“You wanted to be loved in return.”
“I guess I wanted him to see me as someone worth his time.”
“I’m betting he did,” he said softly as he ran his fingers up her bare arms.
“And how would you know that?” she asked turning to look at his face.
“I know you. You have this amazing heart, you only share it in small doses, but if he were lucky enough to get a glimpse. He would have realized how special you are. At least that’s how it was for me.”
“I guess Mr. Smiley didn’t get a glimpse. I don’t think he truly noticed me until he was out of options.”
“Meaning?”
“His girlfriend dumped him.”
“I thought this was a first love story. I’m not feeling much love here.”
“It’s sort of sad isn’t it? To realize that you were just sloppy seconds to the first man you ever truly loved. I don’t even know why I told this story.”
“I think you were just trying to top my first love story, where I was dumped for another guy. I know how you hate to be outdone.”
“What a sad pair we are.”
“I think it’s kind of perfect. We’ve been hurt in the past, so that makes us appreciate the good all the more now.”
“Hmm I was thinking it made us emotionally shut down and unable to trust enough to truly give our hearts.”
“Maybe that was true at one time, but not anymore,” Philip said leaning his head against the side of hers.
“Speak for yourself. I’m feeling pretty jaded these days.”
“Mr. Smiley was an idiot.”
“You think?” she asked turning to look at him.
“If he didn’t realize what an amazing person he had in his life, he didn’t deserve to be loved by you. How could any man in his right mind pass up the chance to be with someone as funny, smart, and uniquely beautiful as you?”
Reaching up with both hands Melanie grabbed his face, his cheeks resting on her palms, she gazed at him, her eyes shining in the moonlight.
“What?” Philip asked uncertainly, unable to read her expression.
Melanie only smiled in response before she leaned over and kissed him full on the lips. Deeply, her mouth caressed his with gentle pressure. Philip smiled into her as he put his hand on the small of her back, easing her forward as he returned the kiss. She placed a few more small pecks on his lips, the last lingering briefly, before pulling back and looking at him again.
“What was that for?” he murmured still reeling from the feel of her lips on his.
“Just for a moment you reminded me of Mr. Smiley.”
“So my lips were a stand in to fulfill your fantasy?”
“Something like that.”
Trying to cover the smile playing at his lips he said with mock seriousness, “Anytime you feel the need to take a trip down memory lane, my lips are available.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said with a smile as she rested her head just below his shoulder.
********************************************
There is something about facing possible death that just makes everything more clear. Huddled under a small gray woolen blanket with Melanie in his arms and the sound of rain tapping on the windshield with only the gentle glow of the moon illuminating the car’s interior, Philip was at peace. His eyes glazed over as he stared out the side window at the faint glow of Bo’s car lights. His vision may have been hazy but his mind was decidedly in focus.
If ever there were a perfect moment in the past four weeks of his life, since Melanie found out that he slept with Chloe and his entire world had shattered, this was it. She was next to him gently stroking his neck, her fingers laced through his, her head on his upper chest, telling silly little stories about her work at the hospital. It was like how their lives used to be, their before bed ritual, in each others arms recounting their day. It was perfect. And Philip didn’t want it to end.
Philip wished he could capture this moment in a jar, to protect it and keep it safe, like he used to when he caught fireflies on summer nights by the lake as a kid. Living mementos of the dew infused evening air that filled his lungs as he chased down the magical flying lights, capturing them delicately in his bare hands, peeking through trembling thumbs to see their glow as he carried them to their destination. A mason jar with holes punched in the lid that he would place proudly on his bedside table, and let the intermittent glow lull him to sleep. If only there were a jar for memories and unbelievably perfect moments. He would keep this one in it, to prolong it, maybe make it last forever, or at least for another day. Everything he had lost was found again, right here, alone in this car, with her.
Her heart was his.
He felt it to his core. So resounding and true. They always had this connection. That persistent electricity that never dimmed even when they both were trying their best to shut it out. In the quiet of the car, where minutes seemed to stretch on like hours, he could feel what was always there.
She loved him.
And they were never going to be together again.
It was so apparent now, all his wishing and plotting the ways to win her back, would be of no avail. Deep in his soul he felt that there would be no point.
It wasn’t that Philip was losing hope of being rescued from the car. He was sure help would arrive soon. But he was also acutely aware that his body was shutting down. His breathing was more and more labored. He was cold down to his bones; no blanket or body heat could warm him. He no longer felt his leg, the pains in his chest and back were gone. All that was left was the feeling of Melanie in his arms and even that at times felt so faint, he had to look down and make sure she was still there.
He was dying, slowly, but most surely. And the moment he let himself fully acknowledge that fact tranquility came over him. If these were to be his last moments, he wasn’t going to waste them.
Because this was a gift.
He was getting to spend this time with her.
He planted a kiss on top of her head, pulling her in closer to his body. “I love you so much,” he murmured into her hair. “You are a part of me. That connection we felt since we met. I think that was God’s way of telling us we were meant to be.”
“Philip, what’s gotten into you?” she asked as she pulled back to look into his eyes.” I never knew you were so spiritual.”
“I was just thinking about the night I proposed to you.”
“Christmas Eve.”
“Yep. Gave you a big shock didn’t I?”
That night he was so excited. He was coming out of his skin in anticipation of giving her the ring. He had paced the floor of their room at the Bed & Breakfast with the gift behind his back, just waiting, for the right moment. He finally had his chance to be with her and he had to let her know how much that meant to him. How much she meant to him.
“Big time. I thought I was going crazy, or you were. Never saw that coming.”
“I can see how you could think I was a bit off my rocker, proposing and we had barely started officially dating.”
Philip hadn’t intended to propose to her, not really. In the back of his mind he knew he wanted to be with her forever, but he wasn’t consciously planning to make that much of a commitment so soon.
They had planned to take an island getaway for their un-Christmas celebration. Philip had been so thrilled she agreed to spend the holidays with him. He wanted to make their trip perfect, so she would have no doubts by the time they came back home how much he cared about her. Strolling through Salem City Mall a few days before they were supposed to leave town, Philip searched for that perfect gift to give her for Christmas. What did you give the woman that essentially changed your life and made you believe anything was possibly again? Hallmark didn’t make a card for that.
So he continued wandering the mall, peering into store windows covered in fake snow and gilded bows, and it hit him. There would be nothing in the mall special enough for her. Nothing that would equal all she had already given him. What he needed to give her was his heart.
“Most guys start with flowers, not diamond rings.”
“True. But I have never been like most guys.”
“I could tell that about you from the first time we met. There was just something about you that drew me in.”
“I felt the same way about you.” After he left her at Chez Rouge the day they met, when he told her he wasn’t the person to help her find out who killed Trent, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Those sad blue eyes haunted him.
“Do you ever think maybe if we had taken things slower, not rushed into marriage that things would have turned out differently?”
“For me it really didn’t seem rushed. Once I realized that you were the one I was looking for all along, everything just sort of fell into place.”
“Didn’t it matter to you I was dating someone else?”
“Well I can’t say I liked it. But I truly believed we were meant to be and you would end up where you belonged. Maybe I should have waited patiently for that to happen. I just felt like we had wasted too much time already.”
“I was scared. It seemed so sudden. I didn’t know if I could trust how I was feeling.”
“I know. I was scared too for a long time. I think that’s why I fought us for so long. I couldn’t believe what I was feeling, that you were what I always hoped for.”
“You rejected me at every turn. I didn’t want to trust you with my heart anymore. But when you proposed, how could I not say yes?” She smiled as if she too were picturing that night her head, as he was.
“It was fate. All the ups and downs we went through.”
“Hating each other?”
“Even that. It was all our long courtship. Pretty unconventional, wouldn’t you say?”
“Definitely. Especially since we both dated other people during the time.”
“Stephanie and Nathan could never really change what was between us.”
“I don’t know Philip. A lot of damage was done because of other people. There was a lot of pain.”
“But the love was always there.” Grasping her chin and lifting her head toward him, he stared into her eyes. “Tell me you didn’t always feel it. Even right now. You know it will never be over between us. Just admit it.”
Melanie tried to move away from his grasp, to break his gaze, but he wouldn’t let her. He needed her to say it, what he knew she was fighting.
“Philip, just stop this.” She turned away from him completely, still in his arms but she would not face him. “Nothing can come of this conversation.”
“I need you to say it Melanie. I need to hear it,” he pleaded.
“It doesn’t matter if you still feel the connection, or even if I do. What we have is done. There’s no going back.”
“We always find a way back.”
“Not this time.” Even in the low light, he could see the tears shining in her eyes. She was pleading with him to let it go. But he couldn’t, he needed her to know.
“I will always find my way back to you. I promise you that.”
“Stop making promises you can’t keep.” She was crying now, tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders shook as her emotions released. Philip pulled her into his chest, ignoring the slight sting of pain as she grazed his wound.
“Always, Melanie. I promise you.”
****************************************
“Good news you two,” said Bo leaning his head into the car. “I spotted the chopper overhead.”
“Finally,” Melanie turned and smiled at Philip, wiping the tears from her face. “Now we can get you taken care of.”
“I have been in good hands. Had my own private nurse.”
“I will feel much better once a doctor gets a look at you,” said Melanie pressing the back of her hand against his forehead, checking his temperature.
“I am going to direct them where to land. How about you come help me Melanie?”
“Bo, I don’t want to leave him.”
“Melanie I’ll be fine. Bo clearly needs your help.”
“Bo just wants me out of this car. You two are in cahoots. Don’t think I don’t know you guys are signaling each other over my head.”
“She certainly is a stubborn one. And here I thought that was solely a Horton family trait. You could give Hope a run for her money.”
“Shouldn’t you be directing the helicopter down Bo? Why are you wasting time with me? I’m not going anywhere.” Bo reluctantly left them alone again, heading back toward the road to deal with the medivac crew.
“Now when they move you out of here Philip, you could experience some pain. I am going to be right by your side the whole time. So if the pain gets to be too much, you just squeeze my hand,” she said putting her small hand into his. Philip pulled it to his lips and lightly kissed across her knuckles.
“Thank you for caring about me.”
“I’m a nurse. It’s my job.”
“Your bedside manner is incredible,” he said as he lifted his eyes up toward her, watching her face as he turned her hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist. Feeling her shiver slightly, he smiled as he released her hand. “I wish you still were wearing your rings.”
He traced the spot on her finger where her rings used to be, before she moved her hand out of his reach, rubbing where he had just touched. “First day I have ever not worn them.”
“Makes sense. Probably not the most appropriate jewelry to wear on a date with another man.”
“Don’t start Philip.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to argue with you. I shouldn’t have said anything about the rings. It just bothered me to see you without them on. It makes me feel like you’re erasing me from your life.”
“That tends to happen in a divorce.”
“I know,” he said quietly.
“I can see the helicopter,” said Melanie excitedly pointing out the open door. “You think they brought tools to get the door off of you? Do you think Bo even told them you were stuck?”
“Let’s just relax and let them do their job.”
“You’re so calm about all of this. It’s like you’re not even scared.”
“Help is here, so no reason to be upset right? Although, I was very nervous when the car was tilting and you wouldn’t get out. If I had the strength I would have pushed you out of the car.”
“I couldn’t leave. What if something happened to you?”
“I would rather something happen to me than you. I was scared to death the car would fall and you would be hurt. I need you safe, that’s all I care about.”
“I would barely cause a ripple in the pond of life if I were to die.”
His mind flashed to her lifeless body on their wedding day. Images of her cold, pale, her white dress stained with blood flooded his mind. Philip still sometimes had nightmares about it. He had come too close to losing her.
“I don’t want to talk about this. You dying.”
“I’m just saying, more people would be hurt if you were to leave this world. You’re Philip Kiriakis, the heir to an empire, people know you. I am just a little ole nobody, trying to be a nurse. Who would care? Besides maybe Daniel and Maggie.”
“Don’t put yourself down like that Mel. You matter. All the people you care for at the hospital, your friends, your family, me. You are so loved and you would be missed if you were gone.”
“That’s sweet, but I wonder how you will feel a year from now. You will have forgotten all about me by then.”
“Not going to happen. I will always love you, and want you. Trust me.” Their eyes locked. He felt that inexplicable connection between them seem to fill the small space inside the car, like the rush of warmth when coming in from the cold on a winter’s day.
“Finally the helicopter is landing.” She leaned out of the car to get a better look, the wind from the helicopter blades whipping her hair around her head. “Are you ready to get out of this thing?” she asked raising her voice so that he could hear her above the noise.
“Only if you promise to stay with me.”
“Philip I told you, I would be by your side when they take you out.”
“That’s not what I mean. I want you to stay with me, be with me.”
That wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. His mind fuzzy from the pain or the cold or both, he wasn’t sure anymore. Philip only knew that things were coming out wrong. He struggled to get his mouth to cooperate, to say what he really wanted her to hear. To wish her well, to tell her she deserved better. That he hoped she would be happy without him. But even in his pathetic state, his mind dull and his senses hazy, he was selfish. He couldn’t let her go.
“Philip,” she pushed the hair off her forehead as she looked down, avoiding his eyes, opening and closing her mouth as she searched for the words she wanted to say. “I don’t...”
The car pitched backward suddenly as if a brake had released. It rolled a few feet and then came to a stop. Instinctively Philip reached out and grabbed Melanie’s arm, dragging her to his side. Starting to wheeze as he tried to call out to Bo, a panic rising in the pit of his stomach.
“What’s going on?” Melanie asked, her eyes wide with alarm.
“We probably just slipped a bit. Nothing to worry about.” But Melanie didn’t seem convinced as she grabbed for his hand under the blanket. The car jerked again, rolling back faster this time toward the embankment they had been perched on previously. Only to stop just as suddenly. Philip could see Bo running toward them, as he held Melanie tightly against him.
Breathing hard, his face red with panic, Bo reached the side of the car. "We got to get you out of here now, the cable is going to snap.”
“What? How could this happen Bo?”
“I think the helicopter got too close. Something happened with the cables. It’s not going to be able to hold you much longer.”
“Well do something else Bo,” Melanie demanded. “Philip is stuck, we can’t just jump out.”
“Yes you can,” Philip said turning Melanie to face him. “You get out of this car right now.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“Melanie you have to. This car might fall. I don’t want you in it.”
“I’m not leaving you behind Philip. Bo will figure something out. Right Bo?” she asked turning to face his brother.
“Melanie the rescue squad still has not arrived and the medivac crew doesn’t have anything with them to get Philip out.”
“How is that possible? They are here to rescue us. How could they come without any equipment?”
“They only have first aid supplies. We are going to need some heavier machinery to cut this door open.”
The car lurched again, knocking Bo back to the ground. It slowly rolled to the incline, the front wheels starting to lift from the ground.
“No more talking Melanie, I want you out of this car now.”
“No, I can’t leave you.”
“Melanie I swear to God I will rip my leg from this door and push you out if you don’t move now.”
“Do it! Then we both can go.”
“Melanie! You know I can’t move my leg.”
“Philip you have to try.”
She lunged over his lap pulling on his leg with a panicked frenzy. Philip yelled out in pain as she pulled on his trapped leg. His chest burning as he struggled to maintain his breathing.
“Melanie stop! It’s no good.”
The pain was becoming unbearable as he felt the shards of twisted metal and plastic dig deeper into his leg. Gritting his teeth to withstand the pain he yanked Melanie off of him, flinging her back into the driver’s seat. Shocked she stared at him wide eyed, still out of breath from her actions.
“What are we going to do?” Her voice was so small, her bottom lip quivering as tears began to fall.
“It will be all right. I just would feel so much better if you stood outside the car while Bo and the rescue crew do their thing.”
He was so tired; he struggled to keep his eyes open. The adrenaline rush from a few moments before quickly dissipating, leaving him with sapped strength.
“I promised you I would hold your hand the whole time. How can I do that if I am not with you?”
“How about this?” he offered wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumb. “You just step outside the car, and I can hold your hand from there.”
Pushing the hair out of her face, letting the strands fall through his fingers as his hand followed its length to her shoulder, he looked at her, memorizing every curve of her face, the color of her eyes, the upturn of her full lips. Tracing the freckles that peppered her shoulder with his thumb as if he were connecting the dots, he hesitated, almost entranced by just the feel of her skin. This could be the last time he got to touch her.
She looked at him skeptically, before finally agreeing. “We will do it your way for now, but only because you are getting too upset with me. You can barely breathe properly as it is.”
“Thank you.” Lifting her right hand to his lips he kissed it softly. “Now go,” he urged never letting go of her hand.
Outside the car, her back against the driver side door, she watched him.
“I’m fine. You can relax.”
“I’m not going to be able to relax until you’re out of here.” She laced her fingers through his, squeezing tightly. “Then once you’re all healed, I’m going to kick your butt for putting me through this.”
“I look forward to it,” his eyes closing as he succumbed to fatigue.
